Chapter 22 #2
until it stopped stinging.
Rejected even by poppers, he sadly stared at his sad reflection in the mirror.
“Fuck it,” he said to himself. “I’m waking her up, right now.”
Whether she wanted to or not, Shannon was going to hear him out.
Brazenly bunkered together in their secret love nest on the fourth floor, Shannon and Fenix had enjoyed the most romantic
night ever.
After eating their to-go dinner by candlelight on their balcony, paired with several bottles of Petrus vintage that had been
swiped from the wine cellar, they held each other and watched as the dramatic snowstorm clouds above them grew golden with
the evening. Then on the canopy bed, they made love—passionate, tantric, mind-bending love—as Fenix could stay hard for as
long as Shannon wanted, and she wanted him deep into the night.
Finally, a satiated Shannon fell asleep, entangled in Fenix’s limbs, her head resting on his lean chest. But Fenix stayed
awake, wanting to savor every moment, hardly daring to believe this was his reality now.
Never in his previous life could Fenix have imagined that someone like him could get a girl like Shannon Shoo. Shannon dated
men like Sunbern, literal celebrity heartthrobs. Yet here she was now, all Fenix’s! He smoothed her long black hair out of
her face, and her eyelashes fluttered. Fenix grinned to himself, feeling more like a man than ever before.
Nature was calling. Carefully as to not wake her, Fenix shifted out of her slumbering embrace and made his way to the ensuite,
lifting the toilet seat to relieve himself. He washed his hands, flicking away the water, and headed back into the bedroom.
Just when he was about to crawl back underneath the warm blankets, Fenix heard the locked doorknob jiggling. Surprised, he turned around. He had not imagined it. Then there was a tapping sound as metal jabbed against metal.
Fenix thought fast. Yes, there was an intruder breaking into their room but—Fenix was technically an intruder too. He reached
out to warn Shannon, who had her earplugs in, but before he could tap her shoulder, he heard the undeniable click of the door
unlocking.
Fenix sprinted back into the bathroom, missing getting caught by an inch. He shut the bathroom door to only a sliver to peek
through, ready to defend Shannon if necessary. Already Fenix had a hunch about who it was.
Sure enough, the tall, shadowy figure was unmistakably Sunbern, who stealthily tiptoed into the room like a cartoon burglar,
hiking up his bedtime kimono so he wouldn’t trip. Fenix watched as Sunbern made his way to the canopy bed until he was leaning
over Shannon. Fenix felt an indignation rise within him. What the fuck was Sunbern up to, sneaking into a sleeping woman’s
room at nearly four in the morning?
Sunbern reached his hand toward Shannon. Fenix braced himself; if Shannon woke up like this, there was sure to be mayhem,
but Fenix could not afford to be discovered, not yet anyway.
Then something stopped Sunbern, his fingers hovering above her shoulder, unmoving, as though he had spotted something. Fenix
followed Sunbern’s line of sight to the nightstand next to Shannon . . . and when Fenix saw what Sunbern had discovered, his
heart sank to the floor.
As Sunbern picked up the round, flesh-colored object from the nightstand to inspect it more closely, Fenix closed his eyes
in despair.
Mayhem was now inevitable.
Sunbern wondered what the hell it was.
He could tell that it was made of silicone. (He was an expert when it came to silicone, having felt up many augmented body
parts throughout his life.) It was large, about the size of a wok, round on one side, and flat on the other. It also had Velcro
straps.
At the top of the round side, there was a small indent. Sunbern poked at it with his index finger before realizing . . .
It was a belly button!
As his world came crashing down around him, Sunbern threw the fake pregnancy belly away from him like it was on fire. He turned
back to the still-snoozing Shannon and lifted the blanket off her body. She was wearing only a lacy bra and panties, revealing
her toned, perfectly flat abs.
Shannon Shoo was not pregnant.
Sunbern was gobsmacked. All these months, she had been lying to him, to his family . . . to their followers!
His immediate reflex was to run away. There was something sinister about Shannon’s deception, and he felt suddenly, deeply
unsafe.
As he hightailed it out of the room, Sunbern’s left foot caught on one of the canopy bed’s hardwood legs, brutally stubbing
three of his toes. He fell to the ground, letting out a squeak of agony, but then quickly scrambled out of the room, shutting
her door behind him.
Hopping on one leg, he made his way down the hall.
One floor directly below Shannon’s hallway, Roses heard the sound of a jiangshi hopping.
All night the Sun matriarch had been in a semiconscious state of dread, tossing and turning.
She had not wanted to sleep at the Big Bear sanctuary; after April humiliated and repudiated her in front of their entire clan, Roses had insisted that Teddy drive them back to the Malibu compound immediately.
Teddy, however, gently refused. It was already dark and the winding road down the mountain was slippery with slush, far too
dangerous of a schlep.
“It’s just one night, Rosie,” he had chided. “You’ll survive.”
This was easy for Teddy to say. He had not dreamed what Roses had dreamed the night before.
So when Roses heard the unmistakable sound of something hopping above her, she was violently jerked conscious. Panicking,
her eyes darted to the ceiling, praying that she was imagining things.
But she was not. There was definitely something hopping—hopping!—across the fourth-floor hallway, and it sounded big and heavy.
Roses bit into her fist to prevent herself from screaming, but the truth was, she had been expecting this. First the arrival
of her zodiac year, then the flooding of the Malibu compound, followed by that terrifying nightmare, and now April’s meltdown
at Wayward’s baby shower—the signs were all there.
Big Boss Sun was unhappy with how she had handled his lineage . . . and now, his jiangshi had come for her!
She crept out of bed, trying not to disturb Teddy as he softly snored. She went to the impressive bloodwood dresser and opened
the top drawer. Sitting upon her underwear like a waiting snake was Galahad Chu’s exorcism sword.
As Roses unsheathed the golden blade, she looked at her wide-eyed and beleaguered reflection in its gleaming metal. Taking
a long breath, she steeled herself. As the matriarch of the Sun Clan, vanquishing this hungry ghost was something only she
could do.
Now moving swiftly, she hurried out of room, gripping the sword by its hilt, its razor-sharp tip slicing the air behind her.
She listened again. The hopping was now at the far side of the wing upstairs, heading toward the winding staircase.
Yes, the jiangshi was coming for her, but Roses would face it head-on. She strode to the stairs, and she could hear its laborious breathing as she climbed up. She and the jiangshi were just a few hops away from each other. Roses raised the sword, ready. It was now or never.
The moment she came face-to-face with the jiangshi, silhouetted against the window in its ghostly regalia, Roses held the
exorcism sword high above her head . . .
And swung.
In the bedroom next to Roses and Teddy’s, Hyacinth was trying to abate her insomnia by reading the Old Testament when she
heard a loud grunt in her son’s distinct surfer intonation, followed by an even louder thud.
Wrapping her blanket around herself, she climbed out of her bed and exited her room into the hallway to see what was going
on.
First, Hyacinth saw Sunbern’s body splayed out at the bottom of the stairs, facedown and unmoving in his bedtime kimono. Second,
she saw her sister Roses standing over him, clutching a massive sword.
Hyacinth let out a bloodcurdling scream that woke up nearly all of Big Bear.
Big Sister, what are you doing!? Wailing, she descended upon Sunbern, turning him over and cradling him in her lap.
With a horrified gasp, Roses dropped the sword, which clanked to the floor. Oh my god, it’s Isaac!
Of course it’s Isaac! Hyacinth sobbed. What in God’s name is wrong with you, Big Sister? Why are you attacking the children!? She shook at Sunbern, who hung limply in her arms. Isaac, wake up! Wake up!
Roses fell to her knees, staring at her hands in horror. Is he all right? I thought . . . I thought . . .!
Hyacinth was enraged. You thought because you’ve lost April, I have to lose Isaac! You have done many wicked things in your lifetime, Big Sister,
but this . . . this goes beyond the pale!
Iris then appeared, flying down the steps in her nightgown, brushing past Roses to join Hyacinth as they hovered over Sunbern.
Little Sister! What has happened!?
Hyacinth pointed a quaking finger at Roses. Our Big Sister murdered Isaac with a sword! She’s truly gone mad!
Grimly, Iris stuck her wrist under Sunbern’s nostrils. To her enormous solace, she felt a warm exhale come out of him. She
let out a relieved sigh. He’s breathing. He’s not dead. He’s just out cold. She looked at the sword lying on the stairs, then at Roses. No blood, so you must have knocked him out with the flat of that sword, not the edge.
Oh my god! Oh my god! Roses cried, clutching her heart. Thank god!
“What the heck is going on?” Wayward was now descending the steps, rubbing his eyes, Bindi trotting alongside him.
“I . . . I . . .” Roses stammered as her youngers stared at her with accusatory eyes. “I thought he was someone else!”
Wayward picked up the exorcism sword from the ground, stunned at its lethal potential. “Roses, who else in this house would
you want to attack with this ridiculous sword?”
“She’s lying!” Hyacinth snarled. “That sword was intended for Isaac! If Roses had had her way thirty years ago, she would