Chapter Ten
Millie
My legs feel like Jello or marshmallows, I can’t decide. I keep going back and forth between the two descriptions and neither feels quite right.
“Why are you walking like that?” Rowan asks as we head towards the exit of the hockey rink.
We’ve spent the better part of two hours on the ice.
Something I know I’m going to pay for tomorrow because my feet hurt and my calves feel like they’re on fire.
I don’t even want to think about my ass right now after that fall.
All of which is probably contributing to my very noticeable limp.
“Like what?” I play dumb. I’m not about to admit to the amount of discomfort I’m already in.
“Like you’ve been riding a horse for hours,” he deadpans. I didn’t think I could be any more embarrassed after literally kneeing the man in his balls, but I was wrong. Oh, so wrong. This might be worse.
I try to straighten out my gait but it’s no use, everything feels funny or just plain hurts. “That was a lot of fun but more of a workout than I was prepared for.”
His head whips over to look at me, “Damn, I’m sorry, Millie. I wasn’t thinking. We should have called it quits an hour ago.”
I smile because his concern is genuine. “Don’t be, like I said I had fun. Totally worth it.”
He still seems bothered by my admission. “Next time I’m setting an alarm. Hour tops. I forgot how uncomfortable and painful it can be when you’re just starting. That’s on me. I think I have some ibuprofen in the car if you want some?”
I shake my head, my pulse spiking slightly.
“It’s okay. I think I’ll live.” I smile, hoping he lets it go.
I have to be really careful about the medication I take because of my heart.
I try really hard to not take something unless I absolutely have to.
I can deal with some pain and soreness. This doesn’t feel bad enough to give in, at least not yet.
In the morning it may be a different story.
He tilts his head and asks, “You sure? Usually works great for me.” Rowan doesn’t know about my heart. It’s such a weird thing to me because do I talk about it? Or not? It’s not like I can go, oh hey, I know this is probably weird and definitely random but I had a heart transplant six months ago.
Anyone who knows me or my parents already knows my health struggles. I’ve never really had to explain it to a stranger, outside of a medical professional. I figure, if it comes up, it comes up but if it doesn’t that’s okay too. It’s not like he needs to know, anyhow.
An image of me lying on my back completely bare with Rowan hovering over me suddenly pops into my mind.
The image has my core tingling with excitement until I picture Rowan leaning up on his haunches, my body now on full display for him.
The scar that runs from the bottom of my throat all the way down to the middle of my chest is jagged in some places, thick in others because it’s still healing.
The tingling in my core suddenly turns into panic.
I know it’s crazy to say but I’ve never pictured myself with a guy before.
Being intimate with someone just hasn’t been on my radar for a number of different reasons.
For years it was as simple as my body couldn’t handle the physical aspect, then once that was fixed, I had another problem.
My scar. It’s ugly and so prominent there’s no way to hide it.
That’s a level of vulnerability that I don’t think I’m ready for. Even with someone as cool as Rowan. I faintly hear a ding, but I’m too lost in my thoughts to pay much attention to it. I reach into my purse to get the keys to my car out.
“Want to go to dinner with me, Daredevil?” I stop and look over to find him watching me expectantly.
“Dinner?” I ask, surprised. His smirk is a sight that I’m not sure I will ever get used to. The left side of his mouth tilts up the perfect amount, his cheek pulls just enough to have a slight dimple playing peekaboo, his eyes full of mirth and playfulness.
“Dinner. It’s the last meal of the day and some say the most important.”
“I thought that was breakfast.”
“The other half would agree with you.”
“You don’t?”
His mouth kicks up once again as he seems to contemplate my question. “I like breakfast just fine, but I never really get to sit down and enjoy it because we usually have early morning practices. The last thing you want is a heavy breakfast on your stomach and then have to do suicide sprints.”
“Eww,” I say in distaste as I crinkle my nose up.
He laughs before saying, “Yeah, so dinner is the one meal I have time to actually sit down and enjoy.”
“Lunch is the most underrated meal, but I think it’s the true champion. Especially if it’s like an early lunch brunch situation.”
“Lunch, seriously? I mean it’s so boring,” he sasses just as we reach my car.
I turn around and lean my left hip on the side of the door panel.
“If it’s boring, that means you’re doing it wrong.
I think it’s the best of both worlds. You can do breakfast food if you want, or steak and potatoes or a salad.
The possibilities are endless.” I smile up at him and watch as he leans forward.
My breath catches and my pulse starts to race.
Is he going to kiss me? Did our non-date turn into a date, date?
Do I want him to kiss me? Of course I want him to kiss me!
Have you seen him? My thoughts race in my head and just before I close my eyes in anticipation, he props his forearm up on the top of my car with a casual smile that screams just friends instead of leaning forward to place his lips on mine.
I swallow and push down the wave of disappointment that follows. I didn’t come here expecting Rowan Pierce to declare his undying love for me so why the hell am I so disappointed?
“I do love a good steak for lunch,” he playfully responds.
I quickly push down any brewing romantic feelings. I need to remember he’s my friend, a person I very much enjoy spending time with and one that I would love to get to know better. I could really use a friend right now.
“What’s your favorite meal?” he asks, suddenly.
I tilt my head and scrunch my nose. “That’s a hard one because I really love food but if I had to pick it would be a Reuben.”
He laughs. “A sandwich is your favorite food?” he asks, incredulously.
“Yes. What’s wrong with that?” I ask, a smile playing on my lips the whole time. I like talking to him, but I think I like verbally sparring with him even more.
“Nothing. There’s nothing wrong with it. I think it’s cute.”
“It reminds me of when I was little. My dad makes the best Reubens. It’s this whole big thing. Homemade sauce and bread. He buys extra fancy sauerkraut and cheese and even gets the corned beef from a local butcher. He’s made it for every single one of my birthdays.”
“Damn, Millie. I was expecting you to say something about how you liked it ’cause this one time you had a really good one at a restaurant not that your dad is basically a Reuben badass and no other Reuben will ever compare.”
I laugh, “don’t ever tell my dad that, it will go straight to his head. He already thinks he’s pretty cool.”
“Oh, I’m definitely telling him if I’m ever granted the prestigious invitation to try one of these bad boys.”
“I’m sure I could finagle an invite one way or another, but you have to promise one thing.”
His eyes twinkle and the soft smile on his face has all my lady parts lighting up and paying attention. “What’s that?”
I lean forward, dramatically whispering, “you have to lie to my mother and tell her her chocolate cake is actually good.”
He laughs and it’s the best sound I think I’ve ever heard. My chest tightens and my fingertips tingle from the sound leaving his perfect lips.
“Is it that bad?”
My nose scrunches up automatically and without my consent.
“I wouldn’t say bad per se.” When his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, a questioning glint in his eyes, I fold like a pancake and admit, “Okay, okay, it’s horrible.
Like the worst chocolate cake you could imagine but none of us have the heart to tell her. ”
He really laughs then, “How can it be that bad? I mean it’s chocolate and cake? Those two things were made for each other.”
“Totally agree but when zucchini comes into the mix, all bets are off.” I actually gag a little just thinking about it, then I shudder for extra measure.
He steps back, looking about as affronted as I feel just thinking about the thing. “Zucchini? What the hell!?”
I hold my hand up, “I know, I know. It’s a real travesty but mom got on a health kick.
” I swallow, knowing damn well it was way more than a health kick.
It was a full-fledged, my daughter may be dying and can’t eat crap because of her bad heart but she’s going to know what chocolate cake tastes like.
It was a valiant effort, and I love her more than anything for trying but just no.
It’s also the reason we don’t have the heart to tell her how bad it really is.
“I mean, I don’t know. I might not be able to fake it. Chocolate cake is like sacred.”
I beam up at him because I know he’s full of crap by the smirk growing on his too-handsome face. I shrug my shoulders, “Then you can’t come.”
“Woah, woah, woah. Nobody said that was the deal.”
I’m already nodding my head. “That’s why you had to promise, hotshot. That’s the deal. Take it or leave it,” I sass right back.
He puckers his too-plump lips to belong to a man before bowing his head.
I bet his lips would feel amazing to kiss.
Even more amazing— I stop the thought right there.
You cannot be thinking about Rowan Pierce going down on you!
He’s a friend! Just a friend. I chant it over and over in my head, anything to distract me from the image of him between my thighs.
“You drive a hard bargain Millie St. James.”
I stick my hand out like we’re about to strike a deal on Wall Street. Safely back in the friend zone until his hand engulfs mine and I feel that tingle that is ever so present anytime I’m around him shoot up my arm.
“You gonna keep your promise, Rowan Pierce?” It’s a dang miracle that I manage to keep a straight face and not turn three shades of tomato red in front of this man with the thoughts running through my head right now.
His face grows serious for just a moment before his infamous smirk breaks across his face. “For you, always.”
His words cause a swarm of butterflies to take flight in my belly. Warmth starts in my core and spreads out to every finger and every toe, leaving me utterly defenseless to the charm that only Rowan Pierce possesses.
I finally realize just how much trouble I’m in with this man. I think I’m already falling and didn’t even know I was standing on the edge of the cliff.
“Now, about that dinner?”