Chapter Sixteen
Rowan
The boys are loud and rambunctious, all of them still coming down from the high of our win tonight. We’re at Jack’s, our favorite small-town diner that is filled wall to wall with hockey players, their girlfriends and other friends that wanted to come out and celebrate with us.
This is how it is after every win, we gather here, eat, laugh, and bask in all our glory. Then most of the time we go off to a party or some of the guys go with their girlfriends to celebrate in private.
The thought has me picturing a certain curly haired beauty.
I pull my phone out of my pocket figuring the boys won’t notice.
Nash is in a pretty animated display of how one of the Wolverine’s defensive player’s started talking some mad smack towards Beau after Beau blocked his shot.
And how Beau shut him down with some stupid your momma joke.
I hear the boys hoot and holler with laughter as Beau jumps in to help tell the story.
I look down at my phone and quickly pull up our messages.
Me: What’s next on the list, Daredevil?”
Before I can close the screen I see three little dots that she’s typing. Her response quickly follows.
Daredevil: Depends on how serious you are about this.
The left side of my mouth tilts up.
Me: Very serious, like the most serious. Lay it on me, Daredevil, I can handle it.
Except bungee jumping. My stomach turns at just the thought, but I quickly push it away. Just because I don’t want to do that one, for pretty valid reasons doesn’t mean I’m not interested in what else this woman has planned for us.
Daredevil: well…..
Daredevil: there’s salsa dancing…
She even adds the little emojis with a woman in a red dress and her hands up in the air, her skirt flowing with her movements. Followed by a man in a purple suit that looks an awful lot like he’s pulling a Travolta move. I chuckle softly.
Me: I have been known to cut a few rugs in my day.
I can practically hear her howling with laughter through the phone when she sends her response.
Daredevil: Is that so? Like back when you were twelve?
Her response gets a full-blown chuckle from me this time. Enough to draw the attention of my teammates.
I hear Beau throw his voice so it’s high pitched and scratchy. “Rowan, baby. Just like that! Ohhhh! Yes!” He throws his head back and pretends to have a fake orgasm like the dick that he is.
I shove my phone back into my pocket. “Sounds like you’ve got some experience being plowed, Beau. Care to share with the class?” I raise one eyebrow in challenge and throw in my easy smirk for good measure.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being around a group of guys for almost my entire life, it’s don’t show an ounce of weakness or they’ll be just like a dog with a bone.
The guys throw their heads back with boisterous laughter. Nash smacks Beau in the shoulder and points his finger in his face. “Ten bucks says it was that dude from freshman year. What was his name?” Nash snaps his fingers together. “Craig! Your roommate.”
Beau starts to turn red before saying, “The fuck, dude!?” His reaction and the boys’ hoots and hollers become even louder. “I was just trying to give him shit for texting his girl under the table,” Beau huffs.
Suddenly everyone’s attention turns from Beau to me. Including Lily and Stella’s, which makes me squirm even harder. It’s weird having the girls here, it used to just be us guys but one by one the guys seem to be adding their significant others to the friend group.
I shrug it off like I always do. “Who said I was texting a girl?”
“That shit eating grin you had on your face is who,” Beau answers, looking a little less red and a little more smug.
Nash makes a kissy face while the rest of the guys join in. Lily and Stella just roll their eyes.
“What the hell is wrong with you all?” I groan because now I’m the one turning red.
I’m not used to this. I’m not the guy with a regular girl and I sure as shit don’t ever feel defensive over the girls that warm my bed for one night but something that seems a whole lot like protectiveness stirs deep in my chest when it comes to Millie.
The closest I ever got to this feeling was with Stella, and well you know how that turned out.
I look at Luka for assistance. “You gonna help a brother out here?”
The traitor just shrugs and says, “It’s your turn, brother. I don’t remember you lending a helping hand when they were giving me shit about Lily.”
“They gave you crap about me?” Lily questions, worry stemming from her sweet brown eyes.
Luka laughs good naturedly, “So much crap. Rowan here, seems to have selective memory about it though.”
My eyes slant because damn it if he isn’t right.
When it was him, I simply saw it as a rite of passage.
When any of the guys get a serious girlfriend it’s customary to give them shit over it.
It’s how we operate and in a weird and screwed up way, it’s how we show our support.
But that’s not what Millie is. “You guys don’t know shit. She’s not my girlfriend.”
“But you want her to be,” Beau sing songs.
I roll my eyes.
“I thought you had more game than this, Cap. What’s taking so long to seal the deal?” Nash asks.
“I don’t want a girlfriend.” Which is the truth. I don’t. I don’t have time for one and with how screwed my head has been the past couple of months it wouldn’t be fair to bring a girl into the mix with all the shit I’m still trying to process.
Luka coughs into his closed hand and mumbles, “Bullshit”.
“I don’t," I say, defensively.
Stella plays with her napkin before speaking up. “I think she would be good for you.”
The table goes silent as they watch for my reaction. My eyes narrow and my shoulders stiffen. I know Stella means well and I know she wants me to be happy but it’s really none of her business. Especially now.
“She’s a great girl and I like spending time with her but I’m not looking for anything right now,” I finally answer.
“You gonna sit over there and tell us you don’t like her as more than a friend?” Luka asks, bluntly.
I’m already shaking my head. “I didn’t say that.”
Aiden lifts his chin towards me. He’s been pretty quiet this whole time but that’s not surprising, he doesn’t usually engage when the guys are being stupid. “What’s the hold up, then?” he asks.
I shift in my seat uncomfortably. This is not where I saw tonight going. We’re supposed to be on a high from our win. Not deep diving into my dating life. “It’s complicated.”
“It’s only complicated if you make it that way,” Beau says, seriously.
“Since when did you become all philosophical?” I accuse.
“It’s the truth, dude. Shit doesn’t have to be complicated. People overthink too much. Like, why can’t it just be two people getting to know each other. If it works out, it works out. If not, means it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Wasn’t meant to be.” I repeat, stupefied and in utter disbelief that Beau Coleman is over here throwing out life advice like we didn’t find him passed the fuck out last week after the Omega party outside on the sidewalk.
He was laying headfirst in the bushes with his pants down around his ankles and his ass in the air.
Like he went to take a piss and just fell over right there.
I shake my head like I can somehow merge the two versions of him. Freaking impossible.
And I’m not the only one noticing how weird this is. The whole table has gone silent listening to him dole out what I would consider pretty solid advice otherwise if it wasn’t aimed at me.
“It’s not always that easy, man. Sometimes shit is just out of your control,” Aiden adds.
“Exactly!” I nod my appreciation for Aiden sticking up for me.
Beau throws his hands out dramatically, “But why wouldn’t you just see where it goes. Maybe she’s not your forever but she’s your right now. Life is like seasons, and some people are only meant to be there for one season.”
“Did you just quote Gilmore Girls?” Stella asks, astonished.
My mind is too blown to even form a response.
Beau shakes his head, “No.” His eyebrows scrunch together like he’s thinking really hard, “At least I don’t think so. I saw it on a meme.”
“Who are you?” Aiden asks, flabbergasted.
Beau doesn’t seem fazed by our reactions as he picks up a handful of fries and shoves them in his mouth. “Shit makes sense when you think about it,” he says as he chews, unbothered.
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger. In what alternate universe am I right now? And why the hell are my friends doling out advice via memes and t-shirts?
I huff in frustration. “All this is beside the point. I don’t want a girlfriend or to date or whatever the hell you are talking about. I just want to focus on hockey and graduating.”
Beau leans back in his chair, his eyes leveling me with a severity I’ve never experienced with him before. “I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to really think about it before you answer me.”
I gulp, not knowing where the hell he is going with this.
“What if you miss out on the most pivotal moment in your life because you were scared? Because that’s really what this comes down to. You’re scared because she isn’t a fucking puck bunny, and you know if you give her at least half a chance you’re going to fall so damn hard.”
“The fuck, bro,” Luka whispers in awe.
Aiden chokes on the sip of water he just took and Nash looks just as dumbstruck as I feel. The girls both give each other knowing looks, like they’re in on a secret that only the two of them know.
Something in my chest tightens at his words, my body rebelling against his suggestion. Yeah, sure Millie is hot, sweet, kind and smart and we have a lot of fun together but that doesn’t mean we’re soulmates or whatever the hell Beau is insinuating.
I would know if I met my soulmate right? The question sits uncomfortably on my chest.
“Your face is telling me you feel something, but you have absolutely no idea what to do with those feelings. All I’m saying is don’t get in your own way, Cap,” Beau says.
I’m already shaking my head, but he holds up his hand to stop me from speaking. “You deserve to be happy. Stop punishing yourself because of the accident. It wasn’t your fault,” he says, solemnly. The rest of table still eerily quiet.
Is that what I’m trying to do? Am I punishing myself? The questions spin in my head so fast and so violently that I feel sick. I scoot the chair back, a loud scraping sound echoes across the diner.
I start to stand but Luka’s next words stop me in my tracks. “He’s right, Rowan but no matter how many times I’ve said it, you still don’t believe me. It wasn’t your fault.”
I swallow thickly as I dig into my pant pocket for cash. When I throw it down on the table to cover my part of the tab I manage to look up and face my best friend. “It doesn’t change the fact that I still feel guilty.”
“Then prove it,” Beau demands.
My eyes snap to his. “What the fuck does that mean? You want me to prove to you that I actually feel guilty?” I ask, astonished that he would even ask something like that.
Beau leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “No, not that part. I mean bring her to the party tonight. Show us you’re fine and that she’s just a friend.”
I’m already shaking my head. “I don’t have to prove to you that she’s just a friend. That doesn’t even make sense, dude.”
Beau only smiles, “Doesn’t it though? You’re so damn hellbent on ignoring what’s right in front of you because of what? Some savior complex? Survivor’s guilt? Fucking put your money where your mouth is.”
His challenge is meant to rile me up and it’s working. “Like I said, I don’t need to prove anything.” My jaw ticks with the anger I’m struggling to keep checked.
Since the accident I haven’t really gone out with the team, aside from our dinners and a party here or there. Nothing like I used to do. Because I just don’t want to anymore, not because of the bullshit he’s spewing.
“What’s the harm?” Luka asks.
My eyes narrow and my jaw ticks even harder. “It’s not happening.”
He shrugs his shoulders, “I mean, if she doesn’t mean anything to you— and you’re fine—" he trails off. Leaving the bait hanging like a slab of meat in front of a starving lion. And like the hungry ass animal that I am, I go after it.
“I didn’t say she doesn’t mean anything to me.” My body is practically vibrating at this point. I’m ready to punch every last fucker at this table, with the exception of Lily and Stella. The rest of them are just a bunch of asshole pricks.
Luka doesn’t say anything, he knows me well enough to know that I’m on the verge of losing my shit.
“What are you saying then?” Aiden asks, sounding genuinely curious.
My hands go into fists before I shove them in my pockets to keep me from doing something I know I would regret. “That you can be friends with a girl and not have romantic feelings but still care about her.” Is that so fucking hard to comprehend?
Stella smiles, her eyes alight with a knowing glint. The words she spoke to me not so long ago flood my memory. Mark my words, Rowan Pierce. You are going to fall the hardest out of all of us.
Suddenly I’m chomping at the bit to prove all of them wrong, to prove her wrong. “Fucking fine. I’ll bring her and show all of you exactly how easy it is to be just friends. And that I’m fine.”
Beau laughs and claps his hands together in celebration. “I can’t wait. This is going to be epic.”
“There isn’t going to be anything epic. Nothing’s going to happen. Just two platonic friends hanging out.”
Luka smiles and it irritates the hell out of me. Like he’s taunting me.
“What are the stakes? I love a good bet.” Lily finally speaks up, sending a secret smile over to Luka. His smile turns all soft and mushy when he looks over to Lily. A far cry from the scheming one he just gave me.
“We aren’t betting.” I grind out between clenched teeth.
“Why not?” Beau asks, still smiling ear to fucking ear.
“Because it would be too easy to win. I like more of a challenge,” I answer.
Luka laughs, “That’s what you think.”
I shrug, an easy smirk overtaking my face as I look at Lily. “Fine, I’ll take your bet. I like easy money.”
Luka shakes his head, “No money this time, brother. Lily likes things a little more personal.”
I’m still looking at Lily when I ask. “What do you have in mind, then?”
Lily smiles widely, her hands come together and she rubs them excitedly. “I know just the thing.”
Luka chuckles, his eyes full of adoration for his girlfriend before he looks over to me and says, “You’re in trouble, man.”
I laugh, letting the rest of the tension from the conversation go. “Naw, I’ve got this one in the bag.”
I don’t realize just how famous those last words are about to become.