Chapter 9
Mateo
Holding Lucy's hand, I bring her down one of the hallways to a small lounge, one of many hideaways, which I'm relieved to find empty.
My cock is hard, the tip pressing angrily against my zipper with each step, but I need Lucy's consent and to know she's okay before I can even think about addressing it. Once we're alone, I turn on her. "Are you okay?"
Still dazed, she nods. I almost laugh, but I'm too fucking turned on to think beyond having this conversation and dragging her back to Noah and Silas.
Lucy clears her throat. "Were you serious? You want to… to share me?"
I nod slowly, watching her throat contract. Her eyes widen, lips part, while she contemplates. "And that's what you've been holding back? Hiding?"
I nod again. I've never had to have this conversation before, so it's difficult to explain. We've always dated women who were already in this lifestyle. Lucy's not like that. Hell, the first time she had anal sex was with me. She's… soft. Sweet.
If I give her too much too fast, I'm afraid I'll scare her away. Then again, Silas kissed her, and I'm fairly certain Noah was rubbing his dick against her ass, and, for some reason, she's still here.
"Isn't that… isn't it like cheating?" She asks quietly, chewing her bottom lip, looking down at the ground.
"Cheating?" I repeat, gently gripping her chin, forcing her to look back up.
She shrugs. "Is this what you do? Share people?"
"Not people, Lucy. Them. And you. That's it."
"Does it… I mean, that's what you want? For me to want them too?"
"Do you? Want them?"
She growls, "Mateo, I'm serious. I'm trying to have a conversation—"
"I am being serious. So you don't freak out and worry about cheating, let me make this clear. I've never outright lied to you, but I have certain… proclivities I've kept from you because I wasn't sure how you'd feel about them. There's nothing else I'm keeping from you, but my list of interests— our interests," I amend, "is long. But since you came here, since you met them… yes. I want you to want them. I already know they want you. Before you, we always… shared. So no, it's not cheating. But that's not what's important right now. We can talk logistics later."
She scoffs, pulling away. "Okay, then. What is important right now?" She tilts her head and crosses her arms petulantly, pushing her tits up.
I shake my head, clearing the distraction. "What's important is you. Are you feeling okay? With what happened, out there?" I ask, nodding toward the hall, indicating my friends.
Her lips purse. She still doesn't know how to open up, to be honest. I watch the anxiety take over. She does this thing, when she's stressed. Her arms drop away and she fidgets, tugging at the hem of her tank top, like that'll help channel her nerves or cool her racing heart.
I grasp her hands in mine and step closer. Fuck, I've missed her. So fucking much.
And this is the first time we've been real with each other. Truly. I can't help it, this is exactly what I fucking wanted.
"Lucy, we can leave right now. Take a cab home. Talk about it more."
She swallows and looks away, gently biting her bottom lip. "I want it. I'm ashamed at how much I want it."
Time stills between us, seconds stretching into eternity. "Don't be ashamed. But I need you to say the words. Tell me what you want."
Nothing is happening until she admits she's not only okay with all of this but that she craves it, too. I need to know I'm not alone in this relationship.
"Sometimes I want you to hurt me." Her words surprise me, but I squeeze her hands tighter, encouraging her to keep going. "I think about it a lot. When you squeeze my throat…" Her hand slips from mine, and her fingertips graze her small neck, trailing down her collarbone. "I want it to hurt. I can't explain it."
"We can explore that, Lucy…" My throat feels like gravel as I process her words.
She nods, but won't look at me. "I've never pictured other people between us. I don't know what that means or looks like. But if you want this… Mateo, I want it, too. I want you. So much, I want you in any way I can have you."
"It isn't all of us or nothing, Lucy. Maybe I just needed to admit some of this shit to you. We don't have to include them, and you don't have to decide right now. There's no one standing between us, you and I are still solid. The rest of it, we'll figure out."
Her cheeks color, and she bites her lip again. Like the rest of her flushed face, her lips are turning red. I fucking love all these freckles covering her high cheekbones, and it does something to me, seeing her like this. Vulnerable. Raw, natural, bare. "And… if I want to try it?"
Finally, she looks at me, and the weight of her sparkling blue eyes hits me like a train. Without words, she admits she's attracted to my friends, that she's interested in whatever this craziness I'm offering. I'm surprised, but I shouldn't be. She's always been more down than I gave her credit for.
I step back and reach out my hand. She takes it without hesitation. I know her heart is racing, I can practically feel her pulse beat out of her wrist, but she squeezes my hand and walks confidently, following me back down the hall into the heart of Atrium, the room the club was named after. A big, dome-shaped ceiling and the sky above us, which shines bright in the day, gives all the plants a chance to thrive. At night, it's one of the only places in the city where you can see the stars glitter so clearly.
I find Silas and Noah near the back, past several occupied couches, the room's debauchery slowly devolving. Public sex is mostly reserved for the private rooms, but upstairs, late into the night, things get wild.
Every private room is identical in shape and size. Clean, dark and simple, with a couch on one end, a massive bed in the middle, a sink and small countertop with some aftercare supplies. There's a wall with pegs if you choose to use chains or ropes. If you want toys, you bring your own.
I can feel Lucy's nerves vibrate in my palm, but there's nothing I can do about that yet. I've never introduced someone to this lifestyle before, so I take my time, thinking through all scenarios as we move at a deliberately slow pace.
Noah and Silas disappear down the hall ahead of us, and we follow into the soundproof room at the end. The lights are already on—the choice between spot lights for hardcore doms and softer, lower lighting, which puts people at ease. They obviously went with the latter. Soft music plays in the background.
"How'd you find me anyway?" I ask Lucy, attempting to soothe her palpable nervous tension once the door clicks shut.
Her lips curl to one side. "I followed you." I snort, and she shakes her head, rushing to add, "I'm so sorry! It was Portia's idea! Ugh. Okay, that ain't fair. I can't blame her. I was just so unsure about you."
I stop smirking. She opens her mouth to apologize, but then says nothing.
She wasn't sure about me.
She still might not be after tonight.
Lucy fidgets. I don't know what to say. I feel like a fucking simp, I want to make her happy, feel good, but it's like my first fucking time all over again.
But that's why it's always worked with Noah and Silas. Because when I falter, they know what to do, and vice versa.
Silas reaches out for her hand. He waits patiently while she bites her lip, but she's smiling. Tentatively, she slips her smaller hand in his and he pulls her to the center of the room, wrapping one hand around her waist, the other holding her hand, swaying her in an easy dance.
They look good together. I watch her shoulders soften, nerves slowly unwinding in his embrace. Noah stands next to me, just as enraptured. I've never taken Lucy dancing. I hate dancing actually, I don't even know how. But Silas loves dancing. Slow, like this, or at a club like downstairs with poppy music and long island iced teas. My literal nightmare, but I can see the two of them having fun together.
Anyone else might feel jealous at that thought, that she'd enjoy something with my best friend, something I couldn't give her. It only fills me with relief.
I grow harder the longer I watch them. Silas's hand around her waist explores, slowly coaxing her out of her shell.
I walk around them and take a seat on the edge of the bed. Noah does the same, sitting beside me, while Silas slowly dances her closer to us, until her back is to me, a foot away.
Their movements slow when I reach out, caressing her shape, palming her ass and hips. I've missed the feel of her and it's only been one week.
Gripping her hips firmly, I hold her in place. "No means no. Stop means stop."
She freezes, but doesn't respond, so Silas repeats after me, and adds, "You're in charge tonight, okay?"
"Okay," she says, voice shaking slightly.
Tugging at her pants, I pull them off slowly while Silas lifts her shirt. Goosebumps cover her golden tan skin; from the chill of losing her clothes or from her nerves, maybe both.
In nothing but a bra and panties, I tap her hip. "Come here, Lucy."
She looks back at me, biting her lower lip, but does as I say. I pull her onto my lap, her back to my chest. I want to revel in holding her; it feels so good to have her close.
"She's so fucking beautiful, isn't she?" I say, not really asking. They think I don't know they've been staring at videos of her all week. They think they've been subtle with their questions, wanting to learn more about her. Her likes, dislikes. Where she comes from. What makes her happy.
Silas nods, licking his lips. "She sure is. Look at all these freckles," he teases, running a finger down her neck, collar bone, pausing at her sternum. His thumb brushes the mound of her breast.
Lucy's chest rapidly rises and falls, hips squirming in my lap, rubbing against my hard length.
"I love freckles. They're just so happy," Silas grins, his affable nature putting her even more at ease. His sometimes annoyingly upbeat personality, my antithesis, compliments Lucy's, though. She giggles the more he caresses her skin, and it's so fucking cute.
I've never found anything cute before Lucy.
"What about her pussy, brother? Is it just as pretty?" Silas tilts his head, a curious look on his face.
I nod, "It is. Want to see?"
Silas keeps her eyes on him while he tugs her panties off. Admiring the dark, wet spot in the center of her underwear, he brings it to his nose and takes a deep inhale. He grins and hands the underwear to Noah who does the same.
Silas's eyes never leave Lucy's. He shakes his head, "You're such a prick, Matty. You kept this beautiful woman from us. Now Noah and I have a lot of catching up to do. How long were you two together? Six months?"
"Uhmm," Lucy whispers, unsure how to respond.
Noah reaches out, his thumb strumming her nipple through the fabric of her bra. "Matty kept you to himself for so long, it's only fair we make up for lost time. What do you say, sweetheart?"
I don't mind if they play first, though I would like to fuck my girlfriend tonight. But they're opening her up, getting her to relax, so I'm relieved when she slowly nods. "Y-yes. Yes."
She says it so softly, still so nervous. Noah smiles warmly at her. He's going to be good for her. He puts people at ease, it'll do wonders for Lucy's nerves. I try to help her, but I can be gruff and sometimes I unintentionally make things worse.
To prove to her I'm on board so she doesn't have an ounce of worry about cheating, I push her torso forward slightly and unsnap her bra. Noah assists, pulling the material away, and she shivers when his fingers caress her arm.
Silas bites his fist, eyes raking over her naked body. "Gorgeous."
I pull one of her legs over my left knee while Noah pulls her other leg over my right knee, and I spread my legs, exposing her completely.
Noah's eyes are trained on Lucy and Silas together, and a look of reverence crosses his face. His brows furrow intensely, and for a moment, I can see his vulnerability and longing, the secrets he thinks he's hidden well. It's gone in a flash, focused back on the task of unraveling my girlfriend.
Bared open to the room, Silas kneels between her spread legs, leans close, and blows air on her pussy. She instantly twitches and shivers in my lap, like an electric current runs through her, while Noah and I brace her legs in place. I think about what she admitted to me in the lounge, how she has her own fantasies, and wants to be held down.
I think my girl may be closet primal prey.
The thought excites me, my cock pressing harder into her ass. She wiggles against me, and I groan.
And when Silas, looking up into her eyes, leans down and wraps his lips around her clit, she lets out a high pitch moan, ass pressing harder against me.
Silas starts slow, but before long, he's tonguing her pussy, eating her out like it's his favorite pastime. I love eating her pussy, but I'm not jealous when she moans in the pleasure he gives her.
I thought I wanted to keep her to myself. But holding her while she's getting off, watching her reactions, hearing her moans, solely focused on feeling her come apart—it's something I'd have missed out on if it were just the two of us. I love witnessing her pleasure almost as much as I love to give it.
My mouth waters, and she bucks against me, and when Silas adds his fingers, curling and pumping them into her, she starts to shake. "Oh god! Oh, oh, ahhh fuck, I can't—"
She squirms, but Noah and I hold her in place and she has no way to move. Like they coordinated it, Silas pumps his fingers and leans away so Noah, with one hand gripping her leg, uses his other fingers to pinch her clit, giving it a teasing shake. There's no room for a third hand, but I don't care I make it fit; I spread my fingers, holding her lower lips wide so Noah can flatten his fingers, slapping and rubbing her clit, and with Silas fucks her with his hand, and with all three of us touching her sex, Lucy starts screaming.
"Oh! Wait! Ahh, something's wrong," she pants. "I think I'm going to, I don't think—ahhh!" Her voice pitches, then she squirts, gushing all over Silas's t-shirt and it's fucking beautiful. None of us relent, and I'm in awe. I've never gotten this response from her body before, but I'm excited at the prospects now that the walls are coming down between us. It has just as much to do with her pleasure as it does to do with her emotions and comfort. She's really letting herself go, and it's fucking magnificent.
Silas keeps fucking her with his fingers while Noah rubs her clit, periodically changing the pace and pressure, sometimes outright slapping her. I can hear the sting in the air from each slap, can feel it on my fingers while I spread her pussy open, but she only whimpers in response, and judging by the gushing wet sound of Silas's fingers pumping her pussy, she's enjoying every second.
Lucy cries out again. She sounds like she's choking, and her body goes taut in my arms, then it's as if something snaps. She cries out, tense and pulled tight like a fucking guitar string, her ass clenching in my lap, and she comes hard, splashing and squirting, soaking the floor between them, before her entire body goes lax.
Silas stops playing with her pussy and leans in to give it a kiss. Nudging her temple, I kiss her cheek, while Noah and I release her legs.
She's limp in my arms. I almost ask Silas if she's awake, but he's staring at her with a profoundly venerating expression. Leaning close, he kisses her lips, and I get my answers when she finally moves. Noah kisses her next, but when he pulls away she starts crying.
Sobbing in my arms.
Noah smiles softly, and I can tell he's trying very hard to not take control, wanting to comfort her, a role he's good at, but Lucy's overwhelmed and she knows me. I pull her closer into my lap and let her cry.
"I'm-I'm—" she sucks in her breath.
"Shh," I whisper, rubbing her arm, nuzzling against her hairline. "It's okay. It's a lot."
"I've never—" Lucy shakes, snuggling closer. Sometimes even simple acts are the most overwhelming and emotional. She's never been with more than one person. Maybe she's never come that hard. We're in a public place. She and I haven't been okay for a while. It's a lot to take in.
But Lucy doesn't calm down. I can feel her tightening up, shutting us out. The guys give me worried looks, but I don't know what to tell them, I'm worried too.
I'm afraid it was a mistake. That she regrets it.
More than that, I'm worried she's not okay. The guys hand me her things, and I help her get dressed. She stays close to me, never letting go, clinging to my arms.
Lucy buries her face in my chest as we make our way out of the club. On the way out the door, I pull up the Uber app and order a ride, which comes a few minutes later, and I take Lucy home.
I hoped, with how she's feeling, she'd want me to stay. I'm fucked up and gutted when she asks me to leave, closing our shared apartment door in my face.
I've ruined fucking everything.