17. Lucia
17
LUCIA
I pace the room while running my hands up and down my arms, my heart heavy in my chest.
Why am I trusting him? Him of all people? After I was just betrayed by a man I swore loved me? I could’ve gone out on my own. I’m certain Luka would’ve let me go.
And I would’ve been dead by morning.
My steps halt at that thought. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing, focus on quelling my panic. Whether panicking is justified or not, it does me no good.
When the door opens, I jerk toward it, my arms falling to my sides as I watch Luka enter the room and quietly shut the door behind him.
“Well?” I ask as he faces me.
He raises his brows. “Well what?”
My fingers curl at his obliviousness. “Are they going to let me stay?”
“Did you doubt me?”
I huff. “I haven’t for one moment had more than a shrivel of faith in you. But you’re the only thing I have.”
One side of his lips lifts as he walks toward me. I force myself to stay still as he approaches, my feet rooted to the floor despite their urge to back away. My chin lifts to look up at him, my jaw set. Even though I remind myself I should be kind, I can’t find it in me. Not after what he pulled downstairs.
This is nothing but a game to him, and probably a way to save his own ass. If no one finds me, no one can know what he’s done.
His fingers brush my collar bone as he pushes my hair off my shoulder, spreading heat over my chest. I hold my breath while he traces the collar of the dirty shirt.
“This is my sister’s home. Yes, we can stay here, under the condition that you pretend to be my girlfriend in front of my brother-in-law. Mila gets the gist of your situation, minus my involvement, but if the Pakhan finds out you're the daughter of a drug lord, it’s likely we’re both going to get kicked out on our asses. He might even alert your father to cover his ass—or to get rid of me—I don’t know. Let’s just be convincing, yeah?”
I blink, trying to make sense of that. “Pakhan?”
“The head of the Bratva.”
“That’s your brother-in-law? Your sister’s husband?”
He nods. His face shows nothing of what that means for him. No pride, no ego.
I open my mouth out of curiosity, then close it.
“What?” Luka asks, the word clipped like he’s growing annoyed.
“What does that make you?”
His face stays neutral for a few seconds until he must register what I’m asking, then a grin forms on his face. He chuckles lightly, his hands moving to my arms to circle his thumbs over my shoulders. I don’t even know if he realizes he’s touching me, but I’m barely able to register his amusement. His hands take up most of the space in my mind.
“A guard .”
My head tilts.
“Mila keeps all the advantages to herself. She’s a real gem, that one… But seriously, you should probably stay away from her, or at the very least keep your mouth shut. If she knew what I’d done to you and that she was now an accomplice to your kidnapping, she’d realize the threat you were. And Mila doesn’t like to kill the innocent, but she’d slit the throat of her first born if she perceived him as a threat.”
My lips pucker as I hum. “How convenient for you that the best course of action is keeping my mouth shut.”
“Happy coincidence, isn’t it?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No, I think you’re full of it.” Pride swirls when I pull my shoulder away from him. His hands lower to his sides. “I hear you lying to everyone around you. I know how manipulative you are, and it’s not going to work on me. You’re just saying this because you don’t want me to tell your sister what a sick fuck you are.”
“Oh really ?” He tucks his hands into his pockets.
I nod.
“Well, then you’ll have to ask her what happened to our father.”
My lips start to sag.
“He was an insufferable bastard, so I’m not exactly sad for it, but… Well, let me just say Mila was expected to marry into a powerful family to elevate ours. That’s what my parents trained her for her entire childhood. And about six months ago, the Bratva had a different Pakhan who she’d been with for many years and who my parents expected her to ultimately marry. Mila decided to betray him for another man, and when our father got in the way of that, she killed him. Stabbed him right in the heart.” Luka taps his chest. “To her credit, she was right . The new guy did ultimately marry her and did ultimately take over. But still , talk about ambition.”
I watch his eyes as he talks, search for a break in contact, but he stares me down as he speaks.
Did that really happen?
“Look, you can take whatever chances you want to take.” Luka shrugs. “It’s your life. I’m not gonna tie you down or gag you here.”
I’m not gonna tie you down or gag you here.
My eyes lower to his chest at those words, my lips parting with a slow exhale. I don’t know why that brings me so much relief, not when I asked him to bring me here. Not when there’s nowhere to run, and even if there was, he knows I wouldn’t do it.
But I’m not his prisoner anymore. I’m not sure what I am to him, but I’m not his prisoner. That reality sends a wave of relief crashing down on me that makes my knees quake and threaten to buckle.
I really am safe here. At least safe from Luka.
He takes my chin and lifts it so I’ll look at him, then he gets close enough to me that my chest brushes his torso. He leans down so his lips are close to mine, and although I’m not his prisoner, I’m too frozen to pull away.
He smiles like he can tell what I’m thinking then puts his mouth to my ear. “You smell like marijuana and piss.”
My face reddens as I try to step away, but Luka grabs the shirt to stop me. He takes it by the hem and starts to lift.
“Stop!”
He pauses, his head tilted as he stares at me.
“I-I’m not your prisoner,” I say, pushing his hands off the shirt. He raises a brow but pulls his hands away.
“Turn around,” I command.
His eyes widen as he rears back. “What?” he asks with a startled laugh.
I twirl my finger.
“Seriously?”
I stand taller. “I don’t know how much of that story you gave me was bullshit, but I’m guessing if I screamed here , it would matter. I don’t think you want me to tell your sister how perverted you are, and I don’t think that’s all for my benefit. So turn around, Peach . I’m not your prisoner here.”
He blinks at me, not moving for several seconds until I open my mouth and suck in a breath as if I’m going to scream. He turns quickly and groans.
“Good boy,” I say, a rush of power lifting my chest. “Now take off your shirt.”
“Oh, fuck you,” he grumbles.
“Do it, Peach .”
“All right, seriously, don’t call me that. It’s too far.”
“What’s wrong, Peach?” I ask. “You don’t like to be degraded?”
I gasp when Luka spins and, in a single step, slams into me, his hand slapping over my mouth. He backs us up to the bed while I muffle protests against his palms and try to break away from his hold, only to be caged in when he flattens me on the mattress. He holds my wrists together above my head with one large hand while covering my mouth with the other.
“ Oops ,” he says, his face inches from mine. “You forgot I’m bigger than you.”
His knee parts my legs, the shirt lifting to expose me to his erection when he grinds against me, only the material of his jeans separating us.
I suck in through my nose and shut my eyes, my wiggling coming to a halt. I lay still while he grinds himself against me, putting friction on a part of me that heats my core and spreads tingles across my clit, all without the use of his hands.
A minute passes. Then another. But it feels like an eternity, and I go from wishing he would stop to subtly vibrating his palm with a moan. And I knew this would happen. I knew my body would want him, that my core would start to melt, that my hips would begin to move with his. He winds me tight with the friction of his pants until I feel like I might come from it alone, and that would be embarrassing. And exactly what he wants.
He kisses my forehead, then my cheek, just above his palm. He removes his hand, allowing me to suck in a gasp just before he covers my mouth with his lips. He holds my face and hands so I can’t break away, and this is the excuse I give when I part my lips for him, letting him explore my mouth. I’m reminded of our kiss outside the bar, back when he was saving me. And I guess he still is, as confusing as that is to wrap my head around.
I was so desperate then. I wanted his kiss. I wanted his body pressed against me, shielding me. And maybe I’m so reminded of that time that I feel as if I’m back there because I want it again.
I kiss him back, moaning into his mouth as I wrap my legs around his thrusting hips. He lets go of my wrists to pull my shirt over my head then tosses it across the room. The smell lingers, but he no longer seems bothered by it. He removes my bra next, his eyes locking onto mine as he pulls the material over my head with swift, gentle tugs.
The way he looks at me, like I’m some sort of treasure, makes me blush. He surveys my breasts before lowering his eyes to stare between my legs. I think of telling him to stop. I feel like I should. Like this is wrong. But my lips don’t move, and my legs don’t close even when he stands from the bed to undress.
I want him.
The thought is so shameful that I have to look away as he steps from his boxers, but it’s true. I don’t even know why I want him. I just know I shouldn’t .
It isn’t enough that he isn’t going to kill me anymore. It isn’t enough that he accidentally saved my life back at the bar. And it isn’t enough that he so thoroughly tricks my body into feeling pleasure.
I shouldn’t want him. He makes me out to be a clown the same way he does everybody else. He’s a liar, a manipulator, a user. His own family isn’t immune to his sick mind.
“I’m not a fool,” I say as he lays down on top of me, situating himself between my legs. I’m not even sure if I mean to say the words aloud. I stay turned away from him, staring at the wall.
Luka takes my chin and turns me to face him. He kisses me on the lips before nudging me with his nose. “Okay.”
“Or maybe I am,” I say, emotion suddenly heavy in my voice as I jerk away. “But I’m not going to let you manipulate me like you do everyone else. I’ve already been betrayed too many times. It can’t happen again.”
“I’m not going to betray you. I’ll keep you safe for as long as I can.”
“You’re lying to me.” I swing back to him to glare. “I know you’re lying to me. You lie to everyone .”
His shoulders fall as he sighs, exasperated. “How would you know? You hardly know me.”
“Your whole life is a lie, Luka,” I say, shifting out from beneath him and sitting up on the bed. He rubs the back of his neck while I pull the edge of the comforter to cover myself. “You were having sex with your brother’s girlfriend, and then you killed her and have his head spinning in circles about it. You lied to him about me, you lied to your sister about your involvement with me and God knows what else. And where is Arseni?” I ask, hugging the comforter to me. “Surly, he wants to get revenge for what I did to him. Where does he think I am? What lies did you tell him?”
Luka’s eyes pinch shut as he shakes his head and holds out his hands. “I’m sorry, you’re upset because I won’t let Arseni get his revenge against you? Is that what you’re saying?”
“ No . I’m saying you’re a liar, and I can’t trust you.”
He huffs. “ So ? Then don’t trust me.”
For reasons I can’t fathom, my heart falls at that. I turn away while a lump forms in my throat.
Luka sighs. The bed shifts with his weight when he scoots toward me. Seconds pass before he speaks. “I want you to trust me.”
He’s so close but knows better than to touch me. I bite down on my lip and fight the urge to lean into him, to seek the false comfort he might give.
I want him.
I still want him.
I just don’t want to be an idiot.
“Then tell me the truth,” I whisper. I close my eyes and wait. I won’t say any more. If he doesn’t know what I mean, then this is hopeless.
A minute passes while he just sits there. I don’t know if he’s thinking or waiting for me to give into him.
Finally, he speaks.
“If you told Mila that I killed Piper and kidnapped you, I have no idea what the consequences for either of us would be, but I’m scared to find out. For myself, I’m afraid that she’d tell my brother and that it would devastate him. And even though I’m not particularly fond of the Bratva’s leadership, I’m afraid I’d be exiled. This is the only life I’ve ever known, and it’s the only place I can ever imagine myself having a shot at belonging, and I’m terrified of losing it…
“As for you, I really don’t know what she’d do. She might pity you, but it all depends on if she has any trace of loyalty to me after she learns what I’ve done. If she hates me, she could decide to hand us both over to your father. If she doesn’t, she might kill you and tell me to leave Vegas. Or she could just tell us both to leave and say we were never here, it’s really impossible to say. That is the truth.”
I wait until a moment’s pause to signal he’s finished before letting go of my lip and staring down at my hands. My shoulders ease with the breath I release.
I believe him. I don’t know if I should believe anybody right now, especially Luka, but I do. Everything he said makes sense.
Twisting to face him, we lock eyes, and I’m stuck in the deep blue of his irises. They drag me toward him, my shoulder grazing his arm until he takes my movement as an invitation to kiss me.
I let him. It feels like our game of twenty questions, except more perverse. A kiss for a truth.
The blanket falls away as he drags me farther up the bed and lays me down, situating himself on top of me yet again.
When he breaks our kiss, I hold his face steady and look him in the eyes.
“No more lies,” I say, my voice heady.
He pauses a moment before nodding.
“ Promise me .”
He nods again. “Okay.” He sighs and kisses my cheek then nuzzles his nose against my neck. “I promise.”
His palm grasps the back of my thigh and lifts my knee to my chest as he eases inside me. My mouth opens wide with a cry as I’m stretched. Tendrils of pleasure shoot up from my core and wrap around my spine, pulling tight so my back arches and I gasp, my fingers clutching Luka’s shoulders.
He grunts as he fucks me, slowly at first then faster as I stare at the ceiling, Luka’s mouth to my ear as he pants. My body ignites for him. Every nerve comes alive at his command just as it did before, but it feels different this time. It feels like he’s captured my mind as well as my body.
He kisses me while I come, swallowing up my moan while he squeezes my breast, and as soon as I come down from the high, he tries to take me back. He brings both my knees up and fucks me hard enough that I have to keep my mouth shut to avoid my moans being heard by whoever might be in a nearby room. His hand moves between us to rub me with a force that leaves me panting.
“ Luka ,” I cry, grabbing his face as my body winds tight.
He kisses me roughly for only a moment before pulling away and thrusting hard into me. He rubs faster until I’m gasping, and when I come apart again, he puts his hand over my mouth to muffle the sound.
“Ah, fuck,” he pants, his eyes pinching shut as he pumps into me a few more times before he stills, a low groan crawling up his throat.
His breath shudders as he blinks his eyes open, and when he peers at me, the moment is so intimate that I look away. My face heats, but I can’t imagine I wasn’t already flushed. Still, Luka seems to notice the tension. I’m sure he feels the same.
He climbs off of me, and we lay beside each other saying nothing for the rest of the night. At some point, I pretend to be asleep, and Luka gets up to shut off the light.