Chapter Twenty-Four
Ishower quickly and apply the cream Dorian left for me, one that succeeds in instantly soothing my soreness.
Once I’m done, I venture back into the bedroom to search for clothes, wrapped tightly in a towel.
The shirts and pants I brought from my dorm are already neatly folded in the closet.
I select a pair of forgiving yoga pants and a cropped navy-blue sweater.
Dorian comes into the bedroom carrying a tray that has two plates piled high with food and two accompanying cups of coffee.
“Breakfast in bed,” he says with a smile.
I raise my eyebrows as I look at the heaped servings of bacon and stacks of pancakes on each plate. “Did you make all of this yourself?”
He chuckles, setting the tray down on a nightstand.
“Admittedly, I’m not as good as you, but I can still cook.
” He straightens his dark bedspread, takes a seat on top of it, and gently sets the tray down over the covers.
“Come on,” he says lightly. “You had quite the workout last night. We need to replenish your body with nutrients.”
“This looks like a very healthy selection for replenishment,” I quip drily. “Carbs, cholesterol, sugar, and fat. What could be better?”
Dorian gives me a long, deliberate once-over. “We can both afford the calories. Sit.”
As soon as I join him on the bed, he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me right up against him, offering me a gentle smile.
“I never got a good morning kiss from you,” he comments.
I raise my eyebrows. “I think you got something better than that.”
“While I very much enjoyed your wakeup call, it can’t compare to a kiss.” He leans his head down until his lips hover right above mine. “Open for me.”
My lips instinctually part under the weight of his softly-spoken command, and he presses his against them in a lazy, slow, yet passionate claim. He pulls away after a few moments, kissing the top of my head before nodding at the plate. “Eat.”
Swallowing, a little dazed, I obey him. While I’m munching on a piece of perfectly crispy bacon, I glance at him. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Whatever you want,” he replies easily, pouring syrup on a pancake.
“What do you get out of your style of dominance?” I ask curiously.
“I don’t know much about kink, only what I’ve read and heard from one of my roommates.
I understand that people who are dominant in bed are usually focused on the reactions of their submissives, but that often takes the form of hurting them, then following it up with a few orgasms. You forgo the former and put all the focus on the latter. Why?”
Dorian exhales a deep breath, brows furrowing.
“It’s a combination of things for me, I think,” Dorian says.
“First of all, I don’t get off on causing pain, even if the person I’m with enjoys it.
Second of all, I guess there’s an element of pride.
Few men actually know how to satisfy their female partners—your bodies and pleasure mechanisms are a lot more complicated than ours.
It takes focus and practice to please you.
I’m competitive, so I guess my kink really started with me wanting to be the best in bed I could possibly be.
Then, I realized that I was both fascinated and really turned on by controlling my partner’s pleasure.
When they get to come, how many times they get to come.
I liked making all the decisions. A submissive’s responses to too much or not enough pleasure were extremely erotic, so I started playing around more.
I’ve never been with someone who fascinates me as much as you, though.
You take arousing to a whole new level—you’re fucking ethereal when you come and when you beg. "
I feel my cheeks burn as I glance away. Dorian takes my chin in his hand and gently guides me to watch him once again. “Don’t be embarrassed,” he says firmly. “It’s okay to enjoy it. I want you to enjoy it.”
“It just seems selfish on my part,” I murmur. “You didn’t come last night. Only I did. How is that fair?”
“It’s fair because watching you come, being the reason for it, was hotter to me than you getting me off,” he says simply.
“I enjoyed what you did this morning, but I would’ve liked it even more if I had woken you up to a solid half hour of teasing you with an orgasm before giving you several.
I’m not like most other men; what really arouses me is different.
Sucking and fucking is fine, but it doesn’t titillate me as much as what I did last night, knowing what I can do to you.
Don’t feel selfish; ultimately, I’m still doing what I want to do, and you enjoying it is part of the package. Okay?”
“Okay,” I whisper, still struggling to comprehend how making me come can be more satisfying to Dorian than coming himself.
He raises a fork to my lips. “Open.”
I part them, allowing him to feed me a slice of fluffy, sweet, delicious pancake drenched in the perfect amount of syrup. After I’ve chewed and swallowed, I say, “I’m not a child. You don’t need to feed me.”
“But you are mine, and I like taking care of you,” Dorian replies. “If you don’t want me to hand-feed you, just say so.”
My cheeks heat again. “I… think I like it.”
He smiles. “Good.”
The rest of breakfast is spent in comfortable silence.
Dorian eats quick bites in between feeding me, holding my chin, stroking my cheeks, watching me with the utmost attention.
Once we’re done, he stacks the plates and hands me my coffee.
I sip it for several minutes before forcing myself to address the elephant in the room.
“About me being yours…”
Dorian glances at me. “Yes?”
“I’m not. Not really, or at least not permanently. You know that, right?”
He shrugs. “It’s true for now, and honestly, I hope it’ll keep being true for a long time.”
I open my mouth to argue the point, then seal my lips, scrambling for a coherent way to word my thoughts. “I get that you like me, and I like you too, but we’re really not sustainable. What I said yesterday—”
Dorian cuts me off by pressing a finger against my lips.
“Listen to me, Mira, and please listen well. I don’t like having to say this, frankly it’s fucking offensive, but I understand you need to hear it.
I am nothing like your piece of shit stepfather.
The men I work with are nothing like your piece of shit stepfather.
The organization I’m a part of is nothing like the organization he’s in. ”
I tilt my head back, and his fingers slide from my lips. Apprehension and fear tightens my gut as I gaze at him. “How do you know?” I question softly. “You know nothing about him. You don’t know all that much about me, despite whatever background check you might’ve run.”
“People are looking into your stepfather on my behalf; I’m digging into him.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t kill an enemy I don’t know.”
My coffee cup freezes halfway to my lips. My eyes widen as I meet Dorian’s gaze, which swims with dark intentions. I fear I must’ve misheard him, but his response leaves little room for doubt. He intends to kill my stepfather?
“Why?” I whisper.
Dorian’s jaw ticks. “Because he hurt a girl he should’ve protected.
A girl who, against all odds, grew into a magnificent woman that I have decided to claim.
A woman who is fighting my claim because of the things she saw under his care.
” His features twist. “Not care, more like reign. He hurt you, which means he will die.” Dorian blinks slowly.
“I think I’d be willing—more, eager to kill anyone who wanted to hurt you. ”
I swallow thickly, my breath catching, and take a sip of coffee to distract myself from the warm feelings burrowing their way into my chest. Dorian wants to kill for me.
The notion should be gruesome and a complete turn-off.
It should scare me away, especially considering my upbringing. But it doesn’t.
In the animal kingdom, the patriarchs or matriarchs of the strongest clans, packs, and prides will kill to keep their own safe, and among the species who mate for life, they’ll kill any animal that comes sniffing around their mate.
In the real world, killing for love might be frowned upon, but sometimes it’s justified.
My stepfather is a man who should have died long ago; he should’ve died instead of my mother when his house was broken into years ago.
He’s a stain upon this world, and I’ve wished him dead more times than I could count, though I’ve never had the power to execute him myself.
Dorian does. Despite my aversion to most things involving organized crime, I feel no repulsion at the thought of Dorian killing a scumbag like Clyde. I almost lost a leg because of that man.
“Would you like that?” Dorian questions, rubbing a hand up and down my arm.
I nod slowly. “I think so.”
He smiles. “Good. I’d do it anyway, but it’ll be nice not to have to hide it from you.”
I frown. “If we’re going to be… whatever we are, you can’t hide anything from me. I need to know that when I ask questions, you’ll give me honest answers.”
Dorian’s lips thin. “That requires a great deal of trust and certain concessions from you, Mira. I can only be open with you if you give yourself to me fully, if I know for sure that you’d never repeat anything you heard.
Open yourself to me, and I’ll give you the same courtesy.
Otherwise, I have to protect myself through silence, because lives depend on my ability to keep my mouth shut. ”
I swallow. “Like Connor and Seamus’s?”
Dorian nods. “They’re my legion. I’ll protect them to the end.”
I feel a faint smile pull on my lips. “Your legion? I thought legions require more than three men.”
“In ancient times, sure, the concept of legions were large military units with several subdivisions. Legions prized courage, respect, loyalty, competence, obedience, and hard work. All of those things apply to the self-made legion whose members live in this house. We might just be a trio, but we work hard to exhibit those traits, and we work very well together.”
“I don’t know that I like your fellow legionaries very much,” I murmur, frowning. “Seamus is fine, but Connor’s a fucking fiend. I’m pretty sure he still wants to kill me.”
“Connor is difficult,” Dorian allows, nodding.
“He sees things in black and white, and you’re a grey spot to him.
A complication. He prefers to kill complications before they can harm him.
He’s calmer now that I’ve claimed you and made clear that you’re my complication, one I’ll take care of.
That removes his responsibility and liability. He’ll ease up in time.”
“Maybe, but I don’t like this house, minus the cats.” My lips twitch. “The cats are cute. I want to keep them. How is the little one with the respiratory infection doing?” I frown, realizing that I’ve forgotten to check on the litter during the chaos of the last days.
“She’s fine; the antibiotics Seamus got her are working, and she seems to be doing better,” Dorian says with a smile.
“If you want the cats, I’ll share custody with you.
” His expression sobers. “I’ll do some research to see about finding us a different place today and talk to my boys about it.
They should understand, even though there might be some complaints. ”
I should feel uncomfortable at the idea of moving in with Dorian, but at this point, I’m starting to understand that him keeping me close is about both of our safety.
Even if I don’t see long term potential between us, I’d like to explore what there can be in the short term.
Get inside his brain and pick it apart like the puzzle it is.
There’s definitely something between us, and while his lifestyle means I won’t stick around for long, I can try to enjoy the perks of being with him for now.
“I’ll agree to an apartment for this school year,” I say. “Beyond that, we’ll see.”
Dorian watches me for a few moments, then nods. “End of the year,” he concurs. “After that, we’ll decide on next steps.”
I smile. “Wonderful. Just to give you a taste of what’s coming, how would you feel about me inviting Cara and Valerie over for a girl’s night later?” The idea is impromptu, but I miss living with my former roommates, and I don’t want to become estranged from them.
Dorian thinks for a few beats. “We don’t have anything incriminating out in the open, and we’ll seal up what we have in random drawers or cupboards.
As long as your girls don’t snoop or act suspicious, I’m fine with it.
I’ll talk to Connor and Seamus. Connor’s planning on being out of the house tonight anyways.
” He winces. “Seamus might try to fuck your friends.”
I snort. “Cara would be all for it.”
Dorian kisses my lips. “Let’s finish up, and I’ll see what I can do about having your friends over.”