Chapter Eleven #2
“But when I saw you here together over the past few days, there is something between the two of you. His gaze would drift toward you when he didn’t think anyone would notice, and he always stood so that he could keep his eye on you. Thea, he didn’t have to announce he was marrying you last night—”
“He was worried for my reputation.”
Mirabel dismissed the suggestion away with her hand as she sat up.
“Explanations could have been offered, and those women would have sewed their lips shut over what they’d seen if he had chosen one of their daughters.
Please listen to what I’m saying. There is an attraction between you and Lyon, one that I think may be quite rare.
People wax on about love and how they would spend lifetimes looking for ‘the one,’ but in truth most of us never do.
We settle. We accept because, perhaps, we give up the dream of one special person just for us.
” She paused, pressing her lips together before confessing, “Palmer was that for me. He was a far better man than I deserved. He loved more than I could ever love him—until I lost him. Thea, sometimes life works in our favor. Fate may be giving the two of you a second chance.”
Thea shook her head. “Fate? Some supernatural force, or being? I don’t believe that things beyond our control influence our lives.
It may be just happenstance that my path crossed with Lyon’s.
Or it might be that London is really not that big a world.
Sooner or later we would meet because that is reality. ”
Mirabel snorted her discontent. “You are the most unromantic creature ever.”
“If you are asking me to believe in fantasy, well, yes, you may be right.”
“Then what do you believe in?”
“I believe in common sense and being reasonable. We live in modern times. I ran away once over love . . . and it turned out to not be what I’d been led to believe because of unfounded romantic notions—”
The front door opened. Osgood could be heard greeting someone. It was Neal. He’d returned.
A hard knot formed in Thea’s stomach. She wasn’t certain whether she was glad he’d come back or frightfully angry that he had been gone so long without explanation.
A beat later, Neal appeared at the door. He was in riding clothes, buff breeches, a jacket of the deepest blue wool, and spurs on his boots. His neckcloth was not knotted but tied in a hasty, devil-may-care manner.
Thea didn’t speak. She couldn’t. Any words would give away her secret fear that he’d abandoned her again.
“Why, Lord Lyon,” Mirabel said brightly, “you appear to have enjoyed an extensive ride.”
He barely acknowledged her words with a nod, his gaze intent on Thea. “I need to return to London,” he said.
Thea felt her heart harden. He was going to jilt her.
In her continued silence, he said, “We need to marry tomorrow morning. I have arranged for a Reverend Wells from the local parish to officiate. Osgood tells me the license has already been delivered.”
Tomorrow morning? “What of my sons?” Thea heard herself say. “Should they not hear of us wedding before we do so? I should have written a note to them, but I didn’t.”
“Tomorrow, Thea. We must wed as soon as possible,” he repeated.
She rose from her chair. “My lord, are you all right?”
“I am.” His gaze shifted away from her when he spoke.
“Perhaps—,” she started, thinking to argue him out of this undue haste when suddenly he walked the space of floor between then in four strides, took her by the arms and kissed her.
Thea wasn’t expecting a kiss, and it wasn’t a kiss that said he liked her or he was angry. No, this kiss was a plea for understanding, of needing her trust.
Doubts dissolved when he kissed her this way. She knew enough of marriage to know a kiss was often the best form of communication. She slid her arms around his neck, eager to let him know she cared, that she had worried.
He smelled of horses, fresh air, and a warm, almost spicy scent that was all his own. His body was solid and strong.
She felt his tongue brush hers, followed it with her own because it felt exactly right. They breathed the same air, had the same needs, were both alone and confused, and, yes, a little afraid.
Neal ended the kiss before she was ready to let go. His arms slid down to her waist. He held her, but shadows lingered in his eyes. “We will marry tomorrow. If I could, I would wed you this night.”
She wanted to banish her doubts. She tried to keep her voice light as she said, “Why do I sense you are in danger of losing courage, my lord?”
“I’m here, Thea. I’m here for you.” He stepped away, taking her hand and placing a kiss on her fingers.
This wasn’t what Thea wanted to hear. It wasn’t enough. But before she could collect the courage to speak, he turned to Mirabel. “I hope this isn’t upsetting your plans for this evening, my lady?”
Mirabel had been watching them kiss, one hand up to her chest and a look of wonder on her face. “Upsetting? My lord, I am honored to have you marry my wonderful friend here under my roof.”
“I must change,” he said, backing away and holding his hands out to show the damage of hours of riding. Hours he’d probably spent weighing whether or not he would go through with their marriage.
Pride warred with common sense inside Thea. He’d come back.
Yes, she wanted him.
There was a connection between them, and she could not let it go.
But she also wanted something more.
He left the room, taking her silence as assent. Mirabel practically danced up to her. “I’m so excited. Aren’t you excited?”
“I’m confused. He doesn’t seem happy.”
“He seems happy enough,” Mirabel said gaily. She took Thea by the shoulders and pointed her in the direction of the door. “Come, we don’t have long to make you into the prefect bride. Let us go see what is in my closet.” She started forward, but Thea resisted.
“This is too quick, Mirabel.”
Her friend sighed her frustration. “Is this coming from a woman who had the audacity to elope?”
“And suffered a bad marriage for it.”
“Do you believe this will be a bad marriage?”
“No, I love him—” Thea broke off, startled by the words that had just flowed easily from her lips.
She turned, considered her words, her feelings . . .
Love was a complicated thing. And what she felt for Neal was different from what she’d felt for her husband. She’d thought she’d loved Boyd, but it had been a passionate, impulsive thing.
Her passion, her lust for Neal was real, stronger even than what her younger self had felt for her husband. But it also went beyond the physical.
She respected Neal. Admired him. Even thought him the most worthy of gentlemen in her acquaintance, and she realized that, unawares, she’d held him as a standard against whom she’d held up every male she’d known since, including Boyd.
Unfortunately time and Boyd’s disappointments and vices had not weathered well during their short marriage.
She’d lost her respect for Boyd, and love couldn’t continue or grow without it.
Thea didn’t believe she could ever lose her respect for Neal.
“I love him,” she repeated, sampling the statement in her own mind and discovering it was true. “I. Love. Him.”
Mirabel dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Anyone with half a brain could see you did. Especially after last night.”
Heat rushed to Thea’s cheeks. Mirabel laughed and tugged on her arm, but still Thea resisted.
“He doesn’t love me. He won’t,” Thea said. “All because of this curse. He’ll be like he is right now. For the duration of our marriage.”
“As long as he can be as he was in your bedroom last night, you, my dear, will not have any worries.”
“But what if—”
“No, Thea, no more questions. So he sees something you don’t—”
“You don’t find that mad, or at the least odd?”
Mirabel gave her a look as old as time. “Most of us have some madness in us. We believe what we believe.”
“I’m not like that—,” Thea started to protest.
“No, you are just expecting love to betray you. You had a bad marriage to a man who turned out not to be what you thought he was. But at some point, Thea, you must trust someone. And remember, one rarely has the opportunity to follow one’s heart.
Follow your heart. Grab on to this with both hands, my friend. ”
“My heart betrayed me once before,” Thea said.
“Did it? Or were you just not listening to what it was really saying before you made your choice? You are very headstrong, Thea. Be careful you aren’t being foolishly independent.” Mirabel took a step toward the door. “Furthermore, you have your sons to think of now.”
Her sons. Their lives would be so much better under Lyon’s protection—and Mirabel knew it.
Thea began following Mirabel to the door. “Do you believe I can defeat this curse he believes in?” she asked.
“My dear, I believe love can do anything.”