Chapter Fifteen #3
A knock sounded on the door as she was folding the last of her clothes and putting them in the bag resting on the bed. “One moment,” Thea started to say, picking up the bag, thinking to hide it, but the door opened on its own.
She was surprised to see Harry standing there. He did not look well. His skin was pale and clammy, his eyes dark.
“I wanted to let you know I returned on my own this time,” he said, sauntering in, his hands in his breeches pockets.
“Rowan is relieved. He scolded me. Can you believe that? All these years he’s put up with me, but now you are here, so I’m scolded—” He stopped, his foggy brain realizing she was holding a half-packed bag.
He tilted his head. “What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving,” Thea said. Why hide it? Had he not wanted her gone?
“You can’t do that.”
His objection surprised her. “Is that not what you wanted?”
He shook his head as if trying to clear his brain. The air around him reeked of spirits. “I can’t think. Where’s Margaret?”
“Harry, don’t say anything to her—”
“Margaret,” he hollered, going out into the hall. “Margaret.”
With an exasperated sound, Thea set the bag back on the bed. “Harry, please,” she said, going after him, but Margaret had already heard his shouts.
She came out of her room. “What is it?” she asked, taking one look at her brother and making a frustrated sound. “So you are back, are you? And looking the worse for wear!”
“Enough about me,” Harry said, waving away her chastisements. “Thea’s leaving.”
Margaret’s whole mood changed. She came charging toward Thea’s room. From the doorway, Thea turned and went inside. She wanted any arguments between them contained in this room.
“Tell her she can’t go,” Harry said, following his sister into the bedroom.
“Will you shut the door?” Thea ordered him in a furious whisper.
He mugged a face at her sharp tone but did as bid. Once the door was closed, he poked Margaret’s arm. “Tell her she can’t go.”
Thea turned to her sister-in-marriage. “I must leave,” she said. “The curse is real.”
“Of course the curse is real,” Harry responded, throwing his arms wide. “We know that.”
“Oh, Harry, I wish you were sober,” Thea said. “Then you would understand what I’m saying.”
“I understand,” he snipped back.
Margaret held up a hand to warn her brother back. “What is the real reason you are leaving us?” she asked.
Leaving us. Margaret had said that . . . Margaret, who had disliked almost everything Thea had done, even when she’d been very careful about Margaret’s feelings. Margaret, who barely spoke to her.
“I don’t want to,” Thea replied. “But I must. I am carrying Neal’s child.”
The air in the room changed. Harry collapsed on the bench at the foot of the bed. Margaret raised a hand to her head. They knew what this meant.
And then Margaret said, “But how is your leaving going to do anything but tear Neal’s heart out?”
So, they had noticed he loved her. “He’ll be angry if I leave, and then he’ll hate me,” Thea said, her eyes stinging. “I don’t want him to love me. He’s never said the words to me. There may be time to help him. I’ve had the dream,” she said to Margaret.
“The dream?” Margaret asked.
“You don’t know about it?” Thea shook her head.
“Perhaps only those who are being chosen have it. I’ve had dreams where I’m burning and everything is being destroyed.
There is terrible laughter in the background.
A woman’s laughter. I can’t describe it except to say it is the most evil sound I’ve ever heard.
I started having it after I married Neal.
Cass Sweetling had dreams as well, much like mine.
She asked me about them. Now I know the curse is real. ”
Thea closed the top of the bag. “I love him. I don’t want anything to happen to him. I want Neal safe. I want our son safe. Our son will be safe. This is the only action I can think of taking.”
“But you and your sons have become a part of our lives,” Harry said. “We don’t want you to go.”
His candid admission touched Thea. “And I would not go if there was any other way out of this.”
“Where is Neal now?” Margaret asked.
“He has the day at Whitehall, and then he will be dining with Lord Blayne and a few others,” Thea said. “He warned me it would be a late night. That gives me time to leave London.”
“And then after that?” Margaret wondered.
“I’d best leave the country,” Thea answered, not willing to divulge her plans to either of them.
Margaret nodded.
“This is all rot,” Harry said, jumping to his feet. He gestured wildly. “I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want your sons to leave. You are family now. You belong here.”
“Even if it means your brother’s life?” Thea asked gently.
He let his arms drop in defeat. “I can’t take this,” he said. “I can’t stay here. I don’t want to think of this.” He lurched for the door.
Margaret called after him. “Going for the bottle, Harry, or more opium?”
He paused, looked back at her. “You are cruel, Margaret.”
“No, your excesses are cruel, my brother. Go. Lose yourself.”
“I don’t want her to go,” Harry said sadly. “I don’t want her boys to go.”
“Sometimes we must make hard decisions,” Thea said.
Harry seemed to waver, then he opened the door, slamming it behind him.
“He must change,” Thea said.
“Aren’t you the one who said he would when he wanted to make the change?” Margaret reminded her.
“It’s hard waiting for that moment, if it ever does come,” Thea replied. She ran her hand thoughtfully over the handle of the bag. “I do love Neal. I want his happiness.”
“How good you were for all of us. But you are right. We must protect Neal and the child you carry. At least he will have his brothers.”
Thea nodded, feeling hollow inside.
“Do you have money?” Margaret asked.
“I have my pin money.”
“Let me add mine. I never spend it.” Margaret left the room and came back a few minutes later with a heavy leather purse. “Whenever you need money, contact me. Harry and I will see you are cared for, and we won’t let Neal know.”
“Thank you.”
“How are you going to leave?”
“I will sneak this bag outside. I’ll collect my sons after their lessons and we’ll walk off. After that, it’s best you don’t know my plans or my direction.”
“The boys won’t want to leave.”
“I know,” Thea admitted. “This is going to be so hard.” She broke down.
Immediately, Margaret threw her arms around her. “I won’t lose track of you. We can’t. You and your sons are part of us now. And, Thea, I believe you are doing the bravest thing I have ever witnessed.”
Thea nodded. Margaret’s support meant a great deal to her. But now was not the time to linger. “I must go.”
She didn’t look back.
Neal was relieved to finally return home. The dinner meeting had gone overlong, and it was now well past midnight. He had wanted to leave hours ago, but there had not been the opportunity to excuse himself gracefully.
The house was dark save for a servant waiting for him by the door. Neal took a candle and went up the stairs. He could not wait to climb into bed beside his wife. He hated spending a day like this one. He would rather have had his evening at home with his family.
The bedroom was dark. Neal cupped the candle with his hand so that the light would not disturb Thea. He thought about blowing it out, but he feared stumbling around and making noise when he crashed into things.
Placing the candle in a holder on the dresser, he set out to disrobe as quietly and quickly as he could and then join his wife—
The faint light of the candle barely reached the bed, but Neal could see it was empty.
His first thought was that one of the boys might have taken ill and she was with him. He picked up the candle, determined to go to the boys’ rooms and see for himself, when a knock sounded on the door.
“Come in.”
Harry pushed the door open. He was in stockinged feet, and his shirt was pulled out over his breeches.
His hair was mussed, he had a growth of beard, and he had not bothered with a neck cloth.
Neal’s first thought was that he was foxed.
His skin was pale and his eyes sunken, always signs of the worst.
“I’m cold, stone sober, if that is what you are wondering,” Harry said, wandering into the room.
“That’s good,” Neal murmured.
“Aye, good. I don’t feel good. I feel ill.” He held out his hand. It was shaking. “But I had to be sober to talk to you.”
Neal found himself impatient. He was more interested in locating his wife than talking with his errant brother. “What do you have to say?” he asked, letting his annoyance show.
“Thea is gone. She’s taken her sons with her.”
Now he had Neal’s attention.
“I don’t understand,” Neal said with disbelief. “She wouldn’t leave.” He started toward the door, wanting to see Jonathan and Christopher.
Harry stood his ground, not letting him pass. “Sit down, brother,” he said. “I want to tell you a story about love.”