Lyric Squared (The Eisenberg Effect)

Prologue

Sometimes, when he looks at me, time stands still. When he speaks, my heart threatens to stop, forcing me to succumb to an early death. And when he says my name, for just a second, a brief second, I lose my hearing…

My sight.

My balance.

My breath.

My sense of self.

I’m smitten by his smile. His demeanor. His eyes.

The way he walks. The way he talks. The way he laughs. The way he remembers things.

Remember me.

My favorite snacks.

My favorite shows.

My favorite meal.

My favorite color.

There is not much about me that he doesn’t know, except that I might be in love with him. Or maybe, I don’t know what love is. Maybe I don’t know much of anything. But, I know that he makes me feel different inside.

Ding.

Dong.

I pulled the pages of my diary together and slid my hand across the bed to retrieve the lock. I shoved it through the loops and then pressed on the top, securing the lock. I pushed my diary underneath my pillow and darted out of my bedroom, down the stairs, and to the door.

It wasn’t until I reached the wood that halted. I smoothed down my dress. And then my hair. And then my cheeks. Before opening the door, I took a brief look in the mirror. Opening my mouth, I made sure the nude gloss hadn’t stained my teeth by accident.

“Lyric, do you really have to use all of my things?”

My mother’s voice was lodged in my head. I smiled at the sound of it and shrugged.

“You have the best of everything.”

With a shake of the head and a smile is how all of those conversations ended. But, it was true.

Perfect life.

Perfect husband.

Perfect children.

Perfect home.

Perfect businesses.

Perfect skin.

Perfect memory.

Perfect everything.

“Perfect,” I whispered, appreciating my reflection.

The sundress was ideal for the warm weather. My natural curls hung down my back. My face was lightly polished with my mother’s finest cosmetic findings. On my feet were a pair of Dior sandals, courtesy of my mother’s closet.

I turned on my heels, staring at the door as the bell rang again. Slowly, I closed my eyes. Though I was unhurried, my heart was racing. I placed a hand on my chest as I stepped forward, opening my eyes in the process.

“Keep it cute, Lyric,” I whispered while twisting the knob.

It didn’t matter how well I prepared, I’d never adjust to the sight of him. Staring back at me, Keanu stood on our porch with his hands folded in front of him. I gnawed on the inside of my bottom lip. My right foot twirled in a circle as our eyes connected.

Butterflies swarmed my stomach. I wanted to double over, but with glee instead of pain. He was so enamoring. So glorious. So handsome. So strong. So considerate. So close.

He’s a friend.

The reminder was one I gave myself far too often.

He’s family.

Still, I couldn’t wrap my heart around the revelation. It wouldn’t listen. It didn’t have ears. Only feelings. Emotions. And my feelings for Keanu made us both emotional.

Family doesn’t make me feel the way he does.

“What’s up, Lyric?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. They’re not here.”

“I stay across the street. I know.”

I nodded with a smile. “Right.”

Silently, I waited for his next words. I held onto his last ones like my last breath.

He didn’t speak for what felt like forever. He studied me. Like a quiz.

“Did they send you?”

“Who?”

“To see what I’m doing? To make sure there are no boys in the house?”

“Betta not be no boys in this mufucka. They ain’t got to send me to check on that. I’ma do that anyway.”

“You guys do know that I will have to get a boyfriend someday, right?”

“Not until you’re thirty,” he informed me.

“I’ll have children by then,” I assured him.

“I was in a good mood when I walked over here. Now you fucking that all up, Lyric. You trying to make me crazy, huh?”

“Crazy?”

He didn’t respond. Instead, he sighed, shoving a hand in his pocket. In his hand was a gold keychain in the shape of an L. Diamonds glistened, forming the letter fully. It was small. It was shiny. It was perfect.

“They said you lapped them mufuckas in that math shit you signed up for.”

“The competition?”

“Yeah. That. I ain’t make it.”

“No,” I exhaled, recalling how my equilibrium was startled by Laike’s phone call just before the competition. Keanu was expressing his grievances for not being able to attend.

“You didn’t make it.”

“I came to apologize.”

“For?” I wanted to hear him say it. He needed to hear himself say it.

“For not attending your shit.”

“My shit?”

“Watch your mouth, Lyric.”

I rolled my eyes, folding my arms across my chest.

“Use another word, then.”

“You right. That’s my bad.”

“Start over.”

He sighed with a shake of his head. Keanu pulled up his pants and straightened his posture.

“I apologize, Lyric, for not attending your competition.”

“And–”

“That won’t happen again.”

A smile pierced the seriousness on my face. I couldn’t help myself.

As if mine was contagious, Keanu broke into a smile, too. My heart stopped. It plummeted from my chest. I struggled to catch it. But, I didn’t have to. Keanu picked up the weighty pool of emotions and placed it back in my chest when his arms stretched wide and he pulled my body into his.

I melted. Closing my eyes, I etched the memory in my mind. He smelled divine. He felt so good. In his arms was my favorite place to be. I wanted to be there forever. Nothing compared to them. Nothing compared to him.

I wish you were mine.

He pulled back, stealing parts of me again.

Quietly, I twirled the keychain in my hand, unsure of what to say or what to do or where to go.

Baffled, I inhaled, feeling my vulnerability peak.

Just Keanu’s presence, during our time alone, was enough to have tears streaming down my face.

He was a force in my world. I’d known it since I was just a little girl.

As a teenager, the feelings only heightened.

The fear of never being able to live out the life I dreamed for us did too.

“You like it?”

Words didn’t form. Only more feelings. The thought of forevers.

“Lyric.”

“Hm?”

“You like it? Your gift?”

“It’s an apology gift.”

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t do things you need to apologize about.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“But, I love it.”

“Cool. Cool. I was hoping you would. Ima get back to my side. You good? You ate? You bored? Or you’re good?”

I chuckled. He was always concerned.

With my feelings.

With my heart.

With my mind.

With my interests.

With my state.

With my lonesomeness.

With my world.

“I’m fine.”

“Alright. If you need me, you know where I’m at.”

“Where’s Kale?”

“Sleep.”

I nodded.

“See you. Love ya.”

It never failed.

“I love you, too, Keanu,” I professed.

More than you know.

He took off to his home. I closed the door of mine. My feet didn’t stop moving until I was inside my room. I dived onto my bed and shoved my head in my pillow.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I screamed inside of the cushion as I kicked my feet.

My fingertips grazed my diary. I slid it from underneath the pillow and unlocked it.

As if it knew where my heart was leading me, it parted where I’d left off.

Keanu’s picture stared back at me. I ran my index finger along the edges of the picture I’d cut out.

The hearts surrounding it told stories I wasn’t willing to tell aloud.

“Maybe one day I’ll have the nerve to tell you. Maybe I never will. I’m not sure, Keanu. What I am sure of is that this feeling I have when you’re around is far beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. And, sometimes, I wish we could explore it.

“But, you’d never. You see me as someone to protect, love, honor, teach, and taunt… just like them. Just like Luca and Laike and my father,” I whispered, the pain of his proximity made my chest sore. Because he was as near as he was far.

I stood up, pressing my diary against my chest. Where it hurt most. Where I felt the most. Where I was most unbalanced.

The knob of my door twisted before opening. Frozen in place, my eyes bulged and my shoulders locked.

“Lyric?”

My mother’s voice startled me. So did her presence. I hadn’t heard her come inside. Neither had I heard her come up the stairs.

Something touched my toes, forcing me to lower my head.

My eyes dropped from my mother’s gaze to the image of Keanu that fell from my diary.

I closed my eyes momentarily as I lifted my foot and placed the image underneath it.

Mentally, I chastised myself for the one dot of glue on the image that I’d promised to better secure in the future.

“Uh.” I swallowed the lump in my throat as I shifted my weight. “Yes?”

My mother’s gaze had dropped as well. I lured it in with a smile.

“I didn’t know you’d made it home.”

“Where are your brothers?”

“They said they’d be back in an hour. That was two hours ago. They’re running an errand for Dad.”

“Alright, baby. I’m headed downstairs to start dinner.”

“But Dad promised he’d cook today.”

“Mm hm. I know.”

“Are you trying to break the old man’s heart?”

She chuckled. “That will never be my intention. Not as long as I’m breathing. But, he’s already given me the green light. He’ll be running late this evening. When he gets home, I want dinner on the table or ready to be plated, not him scrambling.”

“Alright girl. Take care of your man.”

She shook her head. “Take care of those dishes tonight.”

Her comeback silenced me. I nodded with a smile, letting her know she’d won that round. She closed my door behind her. The moment she disappeared, my shoulders slumped. I leaned over, pulling the photo from the underside of my foot.

“Close call,” I whispered with a heavy sigh.

My nostrils flared as the memory blackened, forcing me back into reality. The Creed’s Wind Flowers and Baccarat combination was unmatched on my skin. With one in my left hand and the other in my right, I sprayed even, strategically positioned pumps onto my freshly showered and moisturized skin.