Chapter 2 #3
“Umm hmmm,” he responded with a nod, pushing a few strands of hair from my face that had stuck to my clear gloss.
“I don’t think that’s such a bad thing.”
I couldn’t hide the smirk on my face even if I wanted to.
Collin was everything one’s mother prayed their daughter would find in a man.
He was handsome. He was paid. He was nice.
He was confident. He was ambitious. And he was thoughtful.
So, I couldn’t understand why my thoughts were consumed with the man that was a few feet behind us, eyes trained and unmoving.
“Not so much,” he admitted.
“I like you,” I confessed, “a lot.”
“The feelings are mutual,” he responded, pulling me in for a hug.
Unable to refrain from following the trail that led back to our table, my line of vision ended where Ken’s began. His gapping eyes penetrated me as Collin tightened his arms around my body, lowering his hands until they caressed my butt.
Sometimes when your gaze lingers on me, I wonder if I’m imagining it or if you might actually feel the same way that I feel. Or anything even remotely close. How do you feel, Keanu? I’m desperate to know.
Closing my eyes, I tried ridding myself of the thoughts surrounding the message I’d sent months ago. To my dismay, Keanu’s chocolate skin appeared behind my lids. The thong that was situated between both of my ass cheeks was instantly saturated with my creaminess.
“Ummmmmmm.”
Forcing my eyes open, I stifled the moan that I’d imagined. Unfortunately, it had surfaced and now I was feeling slightly embarrassed because my body wouldn’t let me believe that it was anyone but Ken’s hands caressing me.
“You should spend the night with me,” Collin suggested as I peered at an unmoving Keanu wishing I could solve the mystery behind those eyes of his.
The cup of brown liquid in his hand that was cooled with a few cubes of ice approached his lips before he took a sip.
With his eyes, he unclothed me, skinned me, and then carefully cut through the surface of my bones to get to the core of me.
Bare and unable to hide, I allowed him a view of my tarnished soul, the one that I would’ve offered him on a platter if I thought he’d accept it.
Feeling the stinging of my orbs, I tore away from his paralyzing peer.
Oxygen filled my lungs as I inhaled deeply before exhaling.
The feelings that I’d tucked away came rushing back at once.
Willing myself to remain strong, I fought the chest-caving whimpers that threatened me with embarrassment and shame.
To cry for a man that had absolutely no interest in the heart I had offered him was pure foolishness. One wouldn’t catch me participating. Not publicly, at least. Not tonight. Preferably not any other night.
“Did you hear me?”
“I didn’t.” Or, maybe I had but had forgotten what Collin had said.
“You should spend the night with me.”
“I don’t know. Maybe I should,” I agreed.
Anything to get over him. If it meant getting under Collin, then I was willing to try. We hadn’t reached that milestone in our journey, but tonight I was willing to pull back the curtains a little sooner than I’d originally planned.
“I think so,” he insisted. “So let me know when you’re ready and we can go.”
“I’m ready,” I pushed out, unsure of what I was saying or what I was doing.
“Then, let’s get out of here.”
“I have to let my brothers know that I’m leaving.”
I dropped my hands from around his neck and he did the same with my waist.
“Of course.”
Grabbing his hand, I pulled him in the direction of our table.
It had been over an hour and two drinks since we’d left for the bar.
When I returned, there was someone sitting in Laike’s lap, keeping him entertained.
Luca was in his phone, more than likely texting Ever.
Ken, he gave us both his undivided attention as I began to speak.
“I’m going to get out of here.”
“And go where?” Ken asked, straight-faced and expecting a response. When I hesitated, he turned to Laike and tapped him on the arm. “Y’all just letting sis roam the streets with anybody or y’all done did your due diligence?”
“I didn’t even know the nigga existed, so I haven’t had the chance to check into him.”
“Bet,” he confirmed with Laike. “So, again, where are you headed?” Ken sassed, daring me with his large, round eyes that were now visible. The weed had begun wearing off, obviously.
“Home,” Luca shrugged, never looking up from his cell.
“Sounds about right,” Ken agreed. “Have a good night, baby girl.”
“Goodnight,” Luca followed up.
“Call me in the morning,” Laike finalized.
Snatching Collin’s arm, I scurried from the table and didn’t stop until we were out of the door.
When we reached the parking lot, and not a second sooner, I released a long, shaky stream of air.
With my fingers spread wide, I fanned the night skies with my hands – desperate to catch a breeze though it was far from humid or hot.
“You good?” Collin asked, concerned.
“I’ll be fine.”
“You listening to your people or are you coming home with me?” he probed, handing the yellow ticket to the valet attendant at the small podium.
“If I’m not home and they happen to check, there won’t be a place on earth you can hide and not be found. This is all a test and the last thing I want you to do is fail. My brothers mean the world to me and their opinions matter. I’ve messed up once, and I refuse to do it again,” I explained.
Nodding, Collin accepted my answer for exactly what it was as our wait began in silence. His Tesla appeared two minutes into our wait. Once we were inside and on our way back to my house, he lowered the volume on stereo.
“Just sitting here thinking about what you said back there a few minutes ago and how I’ve been feeling.
I’m not worried about your brothers. They’re looking out for you and doing exactly what I would.
More women need more men in their lives that care for them like those men care for you back there.
They just confirmed what I already knew.
I’m not walking into any bullshit, and I appreciate that.
“For the past few days, I’d been feeling like I’m ready to take things between us to the next level. I’m ready to make you mine, officially. I just want to know if that’s something you’re interested in or if there are any reservations.”
I’d known this moment was coming but now that it was here, there was a lump in my throat so large that I couldn’t get past it. I palmed my face, trying to relieve myself of the discomfort as my airway cleared.
“I’ve been enjoying our time together. You’ve made me the happiest I’ve been in years, but simultaneously, you’re the first person I’ve dated in ten years.
Aside from random hookups and a few first dates in which I only had one intention, you’re the first real thing.
I’ve fucked up before, Collin. And before I agree to something so altering – for me – I want to make sure that I’m making the best decision.
This has nothing to do with you but everything to do with my baggage.
I’m asking that you give us a little more time before I make the decision,” sadly, I expressed.
Had it been a day prior, I would’ve agreed at the drop of a dime, but with Keanu’s fresh cut, heavily melanated skin, and perfect smile sitting at the top of my brain, there wasn’t room left to think of anyone at the moment. Not even Collin.
“This thing isn’t one-sided and will never be. If you’re not ready then it means we’re not ready, and I’m not doing a good enough job gauging that. I thought I was onto something, but I was wrong.”
But you weren’t, I admitted. It’s him. It’s always him.
“I’ll get there,” I assured Collin while trying to convince myself, too.
“You will and I’ll be right there when you do. Until then, we keep rocking.” He smiled.
“I like that.”
I did. I really admired Collin, his efforts, and his patience.
He understood that our pace wouldn’t be dictated by society’s norms, but on our own terms. And tonight, there had been a wrench thrown in our path.
Once I was able to step over it, we could continue.
I didn’t want to go into something knowing that my thoughts were preoccupied with something or someone else.
It wasn’t fair to Collin. It wasn’t fair to me.
“Me, too.”
The short drive to my home seemed to have shortened as I noticed we’d made it to my gate. Before exiting Collin’s vehicle, I leaned over, pulled his face in my direction, and rested my lips on his. Their softness was rewarding, causing my cheeks to peak as I pulled back.
“What you smiling about?” he asked.
“What the future holds for us,” I revealed.
“Oh yeah?”
“Ummm. Hmmmm.”
“I can hardly wait.”
“Me either.”
“Get inside,” he instructed, watching as I slid out of the passenger seat.
“Yes, sir.”
The walk to my front door after I’d entered the gate went on for far too long.
When I turned back, I found Collin still posted and waiting for me to open the door.
I shoved my key in the door as Laike entered my thoughts.
He had been promising to upgrade my lock to the same as he and Luca’s but had been slow about doing so.
Asshole, I fussed, finally making it inside and closing the door behind me. I opened my threads and sent one to our sibling group message that included the three of us so that I could kill two birds with one stone.
Home, I shared along with a picture of my foyer.
Upgrade my lock! Asshole! I typed with precision and speed. I didn’t have to specify my message. We all knew who it was for.
Fuck that lock.
Who is that lame ass nigga? He followed with, but I ignored.
That’s why I’m Dad’s favorite.
Fuck Dad, too.
And, Mom’s favorite.
You’re taking it too fucking far.
I’d agree, Luca replied.
Have a good night. I enjoyed seeing you.