Chapter 8
EIGHT
As I followed Keanu down the stairs of my home, my heart was torn.
There was no place in the world I’d rather spend my night than in his arms, but I’d just made things with Collin official, and I knew that he didn’t deserve what I was willing to put him through for the sake of Keanu.
As much as I tried to fight the feeling, it was one that I just couldn’t evade.
Dinner with Laike had put so much into perspective for me.
He was right. I was settling for what I thought would guarantee safety, hoping that my happiness wouldn’t be sacrificed.
It wasn’t Collin that I craved. It was Keanu.
It wasn’t Collin that filled my dreams as I slept.
It was Keanu. It wasn’t Collin that my body desired.
It was Keanu. The first chance I got, I’d share with Collin that I was sadly mistaken when agreeing to be his woman.
Keanu’s boldness was exasperating. When we stepped outside, and I noticed his truck in front of my house, my nerves began to separate.
“Keanu, can we be a bit more discreet? Please?”
“This is your secret, Lyric. Not mine. I’m a grown ass man, and I’m not hiding from a fucking thing.”
“It’s not hiding,” I reasoned.
“I didn’t pull up when Laike was here. That’s as good as it gets with me, love.”
“Thank you.”
Keanu opened the passenger door of his truck and waited until I was all the way inside before closing it behind me.
He tossed my overnight bag in the back, right behind me.
It wasn’t until I heard the ruffling of paper before he sat down that I noticed the flowers in his hand.
They’d been waiting on the passenger side, wrapped in brown kraft paper with the most decadent aroma.
“For me?” I hummed, accepting the bundled bouquets he was handing me.
“For you,” he said before rolling down the window and getting rid of the end of the blunt he’d been smoking.
Even in the darkness, I could see the beauty of the arrangement. Just like Keanu and I, they were fresh. I stuffed my nose in the middle of the bunch, inhaling and then exhaling.
Tiny bumps raised on top of my skin as I closed my eyes.
This beginning wasn’t exactly ideal, but it was ours.
I wasn’t sure what would come of it, but for the first time since he’d touched down, I was willing to try.
When I found the strength, I would tell him just that.
But for now, I simply wanted to savor the moment. Savor us.
“Thank you, Keanu.”
Taking a second to glance in his direction, I voiced my gratitude. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d received flowers from anyone that didn’t share a last name with me. I’d almost forgotten how good it felt.
“You’re welcome, Lyric.”
I didn’t miss the sparkling gold in his mouth as what appeared to be a smile altered the features on his face.
He’s so darling. His crisp line and thick lips made my lady parts tingle.
I’d always thought Keanu was handsome, but as I stared at his side profile, I was beginning to believe it to be an understatement.
He was astounding. Unbelievably beautiful.
It was inexplicable. He was inexplicable.
Beyond his handsome face, his heart matched. That was the beauty in it all. I knew it because I’d been around him all my life. Admittedly, I wanted him to have mine for the rest of our lives.
“What?” he asked, noticing I was still staring.
“Nothing,” I said, lowering my head with a smile on my face.
“What is it, Lyric Eisenberg?” He chuckled, reaching over and pulling my face in his direction. He divided his attention between me and the road we were on.
“I’m just so happy you’re home.”
“I’m just happy I had you to come home to,” he replied.
“You know…” I hesitated before grabbing his wrist and running my fingers along his hand.
Physical touch. It was my heart’s language. The act spoke to me, directly and intentionally. Feeling Keanu’s skin against mine was as close to caressing my heart as one could get.
“I’ve felt crazy all these years. I’ve loved you for so many moons and so many sunsets.
And not the love that friends possess for one another.
A different kind of love and a yearning that could only be described as one a lover has for another.
But it made me delirious. Knowing that we weren’t possible, no matter how I might've felt.”
“Never knowing that I felt the same?”
“Never knowing you felt the same.”
“Since you were like, shit… prom. I think that’s when I knew, too. I wanted to be the one on your arm. The nigga you was with, I still want to kick his ass ‘til this fucking day.”
Tittering, I leaned into his open palm. “What do you want from this, Keanu? From us?”
“The best, Lyric. I can’t give you that if you don’t let me.
I want to properly date you and give you every reason in the world to fall for a nigga.
I’m not trying to use my position in your life and history to solidify my spot.
I wish to earn it. That entitlement shit I’ve been on, tossing it.
Keanu is the nigga you want and the nigga I want to give you.
This sneaking around and shit that we’re doing, I’m not with it.
And you settling for bare minimum, I don’t like it.
Require of me exactly what you do of the rest of these niggas. I know you, Lyric.”
“You’ve been bleeding them dry for years, turning their pockets inside out.
Not letting anybody slack or think they can relax on your watch.
I want to stay on my toes, too. Take you to these fancy ass restaurants you love, buy whatever makes your heart happy, and take care of any and everything I’m able to for you.
I want to take care of you, good care of you.
I want you out of your people’s pockets and in mine.
Your brothers have done their jobs. I want to make you smile on a daily basis, give you the entire fucking world because you want it. ”
“I want a family, Lyric. I’ve got my people, but I don’t have a fucking family.
I’m trying to create that with you. The shit my nigga on, I’m on, too.
Sitting my ass down with the right woman and building my legacy.
I’m a very simple man who has never wanted nothing more than some fucking money.
Now that I’m sitting on seven figures, it’s time to aspire for something greater.
What’s greater than family? What’s greater than peace?
Quiet? Happiness? That’s what I want from this.
That’s what I want for us. I want forever. ”
“I’m forbidden fruit, Keanu,” I admitted as our eyes met.
“I’ve had a taste, already, Lyric. It’s too late. I’m here to stay.”
I didn’t have the words to follow. Only feelings.
Big ones. Ones that made caused a wave of emotions to overwhelm me as my heart began beating erratically.
The painful gulp that I swallowed got stuck in my throat, making it difficult to remain still.
Seconds passed before it subsided, and I heard Keanu speak again.
“Is you with that shit or what?”
Nodding, I agreed. “Yes.”
“Then, stop standing in our way.”
I’d seen the inside of Keanu’s home a few times.
Maybe twice or three times at the most. It was fairly new to him as well.
He’d only been at the specific location for the last two years.
Laike had been generous enough to design his home, too.
It was already in progress before he’d finished up Luca’s place.
Though I’d been inside, everything seemed different when I walked in. I wasn’t sure if it was the fact that I was seeing it for the first time as a counterpart and not a friend or if it was because it was truly different from the last visit. Whatever the case, I loved it.
“Everything seems so different,” I told Keanu as he took my coat. The black, fur-lined garment was my go-to and was always waiting in the coat closet behind the door, making it easy to grab on my way out.
“Because it is.”
“So, I’m not crazy after all?” I asked.
“You’re not crazy after all,” he reassured me. “Luca replaced everything inside. Did he not tell you?”
“He didn’t.” Luca hadn’t told me a thing.
“Which means he paid someone to do the job and leave him the fuck alone,” Keanu chuckled, taking a look over his shoulder and back at me.
“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what happened,” I agreed.
“Nevertheless, I’m fucking with it.” His broad shoulders hiked and then fell.
“Everything is gorgeous.”
“Yeah? Anything you’d change?”
“Nothing jumps out at me. I love the vibe. The dark colors that are blended seamlessly with the muted tones. I’m a sucker for the muted tones,” I admitted, walking through the wide space behind Keanu.
When we finally reached the bar area, he paused.
“Can I make you a drink?”
“Sure.”
“Any specific?”
“Surprise me.”’
I watched as he began pulling out the contents of the bar. After he’d chosen two additives, he turned to me and smiled.
“You said surprise you. Close your eyes,” he insisted.
Closing my eyes, I smiled. The man that I was witnessing before me wasn’t the one I’d known my whole life.
The one I’d known since a kid barely showed those dimples in his cheeks or those gold teeth in his mouth because he hardly had anything to say or anything to smile about.
The one that I’d known since a kid also sported the most unchanging, serious mug on his face day in and day out.
He was kind to the women he loved, ones like his aunt, grandmother, my mother, and I.
But that was as far as his kindness stretched, much like my brothers.
I waited and waited, in the middle of the floor with my arms folded in front of one another. The silly smile that I wore on my face didn’t falter. Though it felt so stupid plastered on as it was, it felt just as good.
“You know… I’ve been wanting to get you here since I first read your message,” he stated. I could hear his footsteps in my direction. He was on his way to me, closing the distance between us.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”