Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
“Shit, Lyric,” I chastised as I tossed my legs over the bed and stood to my feet.
It felt as if my world had been flipped upside down once I was upright.
My plan to speed walk to the bathroom was quickly put to rest the minute I began seeing small, invisible capsules of space floating in the air.
Lowering myself back onto the bed and closing my eyes to stop my world from spinning was my only option.
Wait. Wait. Wait, I thought, trying to make sense of the fuzziness of my head.
Once the aching subsided and I felt as if I’d gotten my bearings together somewhat, I reopened my eyes and stood tall. This time, there weren't any little speckles of nothingness fluttering through the air. I made it to the bathroom connected to my bedroom unharmed.
When I arrived, my desire to feel the coolness of the floor against my skin overruled any other thoughts circling around my head.
Slowly, I lowered my body an inch at a time until I made contact with the floor.
The cold tiles against the skin of my arm was nearly painful at first, but the pain quickly transformed into relief as I continued to descend.
“Ahhhhhh,” sighing, I wrapped my arms around my body.
Oh, Em. For two days straight, I’d nursed my niece back to perfect health after she’d caught a virus from one of her friends at school.
To avoid spreading it throughout the household, I agreed to keep an eye on her.
Our biggest concern was Ever’s health. No one wanted to chance her stressing the baby if Emorey happened to share her virus with the rest of them.
I sacrificed myself for my little human, and I was about to pay for it.
For the last hour, I’d laid awake in bed feeling as if a truck had been dumped onto my body. The achiness was agonizing coupled with nauseousness, and I was pretty darn close to making an emergency call to one of my family members.
Oh God. It felt as if my insides were attempting to escape through my nose and mouth. Quickly, I sat up on the floor and leaned my head over the toilet, clinging to the seat with my hands. Everything I’d consumed for the last twenty-four hours tried to evacuate my body at once.
My stomach caved and my throat burned while I continued heaving, each time filling the toilet bowl with more contents of my stomach. I wasn’t sure how Emorey had managed to stay up in spirits while going through the same, but baby girl was a rider. As for me, I wanted to call crying to my mother.
“Shit!” I yelled, spitting out what I expected to be the last of my session.
My nose watered, running down my lips and slightly into my mouth. I wiped it all with the end of my shirt. The taste of puke in my mouth was repulsive enough to have me leaning over the toilet again. This time, the gagging produced nothing. My stomach was completely empty.
I flushed the toilet to get rid of the smell as much as possible.
That alone was making me feel as if I needed to puke again.
When I was finally able to stand to my feet, I realized just how much better I felt.
I wasn’t one hundred percent, but I was so much better than I was when I walked into the bathroom.
I turned the handle for cold water, then proceeded to rinse my hands and then my mouth. Once I’d spit out a few handfuls of water, I grabbed my toothbrush and squeezed toothpaste onto it. The second it touched my tongue, my doorbell sounded.
There was only one person who hadn’t been scanned into my system yet.
Assuming it was him that had shown up to my house unannounced and uninvited, I took my precious time finishing up in the bathroom.
Then, I took the stairs that led to the first level in order to reach my front door.
When I heard little voices on the other side, my heart danced in my chest.
“Why didn’t you just come in?” I asked Luca when I opened the door.
“Trying to respect your space. You’re in a relationship and shit. I don’t want to walk in on some shit I’ll regret seeing the rest of my life. Especially not with the girls.”
My family, most of them, was still convinced that Collin was in my life. Though it had been Keanu that was occupying my time, I allowed them to think whatever it was they wanted to.
“I’m alone, Luca.”
“Ever’s in labor,” he rushed out. Though calm, I could tell that he was excited to meet his new addition.
“Ever’s in labor?” I asked the rhetorical question. “Oh my God. For how long?”
“For like the last four hours. Her water broke about forty-five minutes ago. We’re not sure when this nigga coming. I need you to handle the girls for me this morning.”
They all stood next to him with smiling faces, even Elle. She was usually in Luca’s arms, but his hands were full.
“Of course! Did you bring baby girl some boobie milk from breakfast?”
Elle only consumed her mother’s breast milk as her beverage of choice if it wasn’t water she was drinking.
In the last few weeks, Ever had been training her to drink out of a cup so that she could give her boobs a bit of a break before the baby came.
I assumed she had a feeling he was on the way although he wasn’t due for another week or so.
“Yeah. I put it on ice. She just let her nurse right before her water broke. Elle should be good. You can give her some water and send the milk to school with her.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“You good? You look like shit,” Luca stated the obvious.
“I am now.”
Nodding, I took the girls’ bags from his hand and ushered them all into the house. “Come on, gang.”
“Mommy is having a baby, TT! He name is Lucas,” Emorey cheered after she’d made it inside the house.
“I know, Em. Isn’t that exciting?”
“Yes. Now daddy isn’t the only boy. We will have two,” she explained.
“Yes. That’s right, baby.”
“Take them to school early. Moms can drop Essence off at her school. You look like you could use some rest.” Luca’s handsome face was riddled with concern.
“I can drop her off. It’s fine. I’ll take them when I drop her off. I think Emorey gave me whatever virus she had. But after some ginger ale and crackers, I’m feeling a lot better.”
“Alright. I don’t know how long this shit about to take with my lil’ nigga. Hopefully, he decides to come on up out of there and not give her too many issues. If you need me, call me.”
“I won’t do such a thing. You have bigger concerns than me and this little stomach bug. I’ll be fine.” I waved him off.
“Shit, you must not have walked past a mirror on your way down,” Luca chuckled, “it ain’t looking too good, baby.”
“Shut up!” I hit him with one of the bags in my hand.
“I’m just saying. If you don’t want to hit me up then hit up Laike or Ken. Both of them niggas up and alert, waiting on Lucas to touch down. I can have one of them shoot over here with some medicine if you’d like.”
Simply hearing his name was triggering for me. I could feel the lump swell in my throat as I said a few final words.
“Luca, go home to your wife. I’m fine. Call me when the baby gets here, and I’ll try to come by.”
“Not if you’re sick,” he emphasized.
“I’m not sick. I promise. Not really, anyway. Okay. Well, at least I can stand by the door and see him. Hell, see Ever. I can’t just not be there. It would crush me.”
“Aight. I’ll call you but if you’re still feeling like shit then don’t come our way.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
Ken. It had been three and a half weeks since I’d heard anything from him. I’d mailed him the check for eighteen thousand dollars as promised, but the money had yet to be drafted from my account. I checked it daily to be sure.
As I closed the door behind Luca, Keanu’s handsome face flashed before my eyes.
I could still taste his skin on my tongue from the last time I’d feasted.
Even the thought of the way I missed his powerful, unmatched stroke made my center throb.
And his presence, I was miserable without it the first week of our split.
However, he’d made it clear that with me wasn’t where he wanted to be.
He was too invested in the fact that I wasn’t ready to expose our truth.
He’d given me a month but that month hadn’t passed at the time of our disagreement.
His obsession with their blessing drove me up the wall, only proving my point for waiting to begin with. We hadn’t even lasted a month.
The possibility of separation was always in the deck of cards. Not only with Keanu, but with anyone which was why I held out on involving my family until I knew things were solid. Of course I understood that Keanu was solid, but our relationship was an entirely different thing.
Not once since we’d broken up had he called or texted me. Neither had I seen him. I’d purposely locked myself inside and buried myself in work to keep my mind off him. After week one, it got a little easier and missing him was a little less agonizing.
He was stubborn – as stubborn as they came.
I knew that before getting involved, which was why I wasn’t surprised that I hadn’t seen him around or heard from him.
And, me, I was too prideful. The thought of reaching out to him the first week made me cringe.
So, I took my loss like a champ and decided to keep pushing.
Collin had texted me a few times in the past few weeks, but not even he was on my radar.
To be quite honest, I simply wanted to be left alone.
Lately, I’d been a bit more irritable than usual and preferred peace and quiet over company or human interaction.
Sleep had become my refuge. I could nap all day and it would be the perfect day for me.
“Come on, girls. Let’s get some breakfast going.”
I ushered everyone into the kitchen and began pulling out contents of the fridge and cabinets.
“Mommy made us fruit!” Emorey shouted, bouncing up and down at her seat on the table.
“Yeah? When?”
“Before we left,” Essence intervened.
“Of course she did,” I whispered to myself.