Chapter 15 #3
“It’s not about what I want you to say. You don’t have to say anything.
It’s what I want you to do and that’s schedule an appointment with your physician.
But, before you do that, I want you to go home and get some rest. Don’t even think about opening your laptop.
Go home and get some rest. And, when you wake up, I want you to consider how you’re going to approach your brothers and father with this because playtime is over.
It’s time to put your big girl panties on,” my mother expressed before leaving me standing in the hallway with my heart on my sleeves.
I could feel the tears hit my cheeks as I exited her building. My trip to the car felt unnecessarily long and even more tiring than the trip I’d made going into the daycare. And the second I settled in, the levees broke.
My chest sank and then rose again, sank and then rose again. I could feel my shoulders as they shook uncontrollably, with each whimper. The tears fell freely in the palms of my hands where I rested my head. Life for me was happening and it was happening whether I wanted to participate or not.
To make matters worse, the one person in the world I wanted to call wasn’t available.
She was busy preparing for another monumental event that would expand their family and be remembered for years and years to come.
As much as I loved my solitude, right now I wanted my best friend.
I needed her, but my crisis wasn’t her emergency and knowing that, I tried my hardest to pull myself together.
It was better said than done because the tears just kept coming.
Saltiness seeped into my mouth, settling on my tongue as I wept. The emotions I’d bottled up for the last nearly four weeks came crashing down on me at once. Every part of my frame shook from the heart-shattering tears that fell from my eyes.
It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. The thought resurfaced over and over while I spent a full twenty minutes in my truck trying to pull it together.
My eyes revisited the door of my mother’s building to make sure that she hadn’t decided to come outside.
The last thing I needed was her standing over me, telling me what I already knew to be true.
It would only be salt on the wounds that were already there.
When the tears stopped long enough for me to see clearly, I started my engine and pulled out of the parking lot.
My stomach growled, but I was too afraid to eat anything.
The way I’d been hunched over the toilet all morning, food was the last thing on my agenda.
Even the thought of it was revolting. So, instead of stopping for food, I made the short drive home.
Settling for water and rest was more of my speed.
Anything else would take too much effort and be far too great of a risk.
I awakened from my slumber with an appetite and swollen eyes from the crying that continued until I was sound asleep, cuddled with the blankets that caught the tears my tissue didn’t. Although my head was pounding from starvation, I felt so much better than I did when I’d gone to sleep.
5:22p. I’d slept the entire day away. As well rested as I was, it was worth it. Seeing as though I only had a few minutes to pick the girls up before my mom’s center closed, I decided to grab them and then something to eat for us all.
Notifications filled the screen of my cell.
Some from Luca and one from Ever. Laike had called, and I had a few numbers I didn’t recognize.
There was also one from my mother letting me know that she’d drop the girls off around 5:30p.
Before I was able to respond to the message she’d sent me, her name appeared on the screen.
“Yes?” I answered, voice still raspy from the lengthy nap I’d taken.
“Hey,” she greeted, “Open the gate. The girls and I are pulling in.”
“Okay,” I responded before ending the call.
I opened the app that controlled my gate and opened it for my mother.
Her bringing the girls to me was a pleasant surprise, but one that I was pretty darn satisfied with.
She’d saved me some time and effort. Hadn’t Ever specifically requested silence in her birth plan, the girls would’ve been home with San.
In an attempt to grant every request on her short birthing plan, keeping the children out of the house was top priority.
As I waited for my mother and nieces to burst through my door, the messages I’d received from Luca contradicted everything we’d discussed about their care.
He’s here. Ever is already missing the girls. We’ll give her a few more hours with Lucas and then once the girls are from school, you can bring them.
Look at this little nigga, Lyric. Blonde ass hair and these big ass blue eyes. Who done gave me a fucking white baby?
The attached image made my ovaries ache.
With large, full jaws, a head full of blonde hair, and the biggest blue eyes I’d ever seen on a baby, he was everything I’d imagined he’d be.
He reminded me of his sister, Elle, when she was born, but with fatter cheeks and even larger eyes.
But their resemblance was still stunning.
“Oh my God!” I cooed.
“Oh my God, what and why are you sounding like that?” My mother’s voice startled me. I hadn’t even realized she’d come in.
“Hi, TT,” Emorey greeted me, first.
“Hi, Em. Essence. Elle.”
“Hey, TT,” Essence responded, still standing near her Mimi. Those two were partners in crime as well. Essence could get whatever she wanted from her Mimi, including the Louis Vuitton mini that she wore on her arm.
“Uh, that’s new,” I acknowledged the bag she was holding onto for dear life.
“Ummm. Hmmm. Being the oldest of four and helping take care of your siblings has its rewards. We picked up one after school for her,” my mother chimed in.
“Okay, then. Essence is officially one of the girls, now. Turn around for TT. Let me see what you’re working with,” I cheered, mustering all the energy I possessed.
Too shy, Essence stepped behind my mom so that she was out of plain view. Not bothering to bring her out of hiding, I focused more on the task at hand. I had to get them to their mother and father in one piece.
“Alright, girls. We’re going to head to your house in a few minutes. Let auntie get herself together. I just got up from a long, much-needed nap,” I explained. “Elle, baby girl, do you miss Mommy?”
“Mommy?” Elle perked up, immediately. She was still snug in my mother’s arms, but it was obvious she, too, was ready to see Ever.
“Yes. Mommy had the baby. She’s ready to see you guys.”
“Are you sure you’re up for it? I can drop them off. I would’ve if I’d known Luca and Ever were ready for them.”
“I’m fine. I need to get out of here or else I’ll go crazy.”
“Your eyes are swollen, baby. I don’t think your brother should see you like this.”
“It’s fine. I’m emotional. My friend just had a baby. I’ve cried at the birth of all three of these. This is nothing new to Luca.”
Shrugging, I stood to my feet and stretched long and hard.
“Alright. Your dad and I have dinner plans at seven. If you need me, call my cell.”
“Go enjoy yourselves. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m going to call your brother before I leave out tonight. I imagine I could pick the girls up for school in the morning and see Lucas. I bet I’ve seen him before – in one of these three girls.” She tittered.
“You have… in that one.”
With my index finger, I pointed to the one in her arms. Lucas was her twin, only with blue eyes. The two of them were the perfect combination of Ever and Luca, but Ever’s genes just didn’t play fair. All of her children were nearly identical to her. She had super genes. This, I was convinced of.
“You want to see his picture?”
“No. It’ll ruin my first encounter. Your dad and I will get over there in the morning. I’ll let them have the day for themselves. I know Ever is tired.” Sighing, she kissed Elle on her cheek.
Elle was reluctant to climb from her arms when she kneeled. With outstretched arms, she welcomed the girls inside for a hug.
“I’m going to get out of here. You and I should plan dinner next week or maybe a staycation next weekend,” she suggested.
“Dinner sounds doable,” I agreed.
“Good. We’ll chat about it later. Girls, be good and give your brother plenty of kisses for me.”
My mother was out of the door less than a minute later. I rounded the girls up as I considered what I’d be wearing for the evening. With the way that I was feeling, I knew that it would be something simple.
As I walked inside of my closet, the light automatically illuminated the space. I grabbed a pair of matching basics. It was March and the weather was nice out, but there was still a chill that required an insulated top, jacket, or coat.
I pulled the ivory top over my head, barely able to get the fabric over my boobs before the bottom of it rested at my waistline.
The pants were the same color and material making it hard to get them over my curves, but I managed.
I topped it off with a cropped jacket of a slightly darker shade, Yeezy boots, and a ball cap because my hair wasn’t exactly presentable.
It had been through hell right along with me this morning.
The girls and I loaded up in my truck and headed for their house.
It wasn’t until I pulled into Luca’s driveway that I realized I hadn’t stopped for food.
My stomach protested as I shut off my engine.
Laike’s car was also inside of Luca’s gate, letting me know that he was inside sharing precious moments with our nephew.
Jealousy budded inside me at the thought of him loving on Lucas before I had the chance, prompting me to add speed to the equation.