Chapter 35
Chapter
Thirty-Five
Kainda
A fter Hida’s hissy fit and our resulting fight, the atmosphere inside got chilly— more like arctic. She’d stormed off, and I’d spent the next ten minutes in the bathroom getting my nose straightened out, and the blood washed off. Evin had attempted to perform a healing spell that proved only slightly effective. As a battle witch healing wasn’t her strongest talent. It wasn’t even her third-best talent to tell the truth. So I had two black eyes, but the broken bridge of my nose was about ninety percent healed.
When she’d come back, we’d both apologized under threat of violence by Evin. A sour taste had coated my mouth at the time. Being a demon hunter wasn’t easy, and sometimes we lacked sound judgement, as evidenced by our choice in profession. My father had only ever become involved with one person during a mission, my mother Bronwen. He’d continued to show bad judgement in relationships after their separation by having an affair with Delmira, his teammate. But Hida couldn’t say anything about sleeping around within the organization. She’d had a long time affair with Turk until his death at the hands of a Dobhar-chú on the same mission where my parents met.
Once we’d cleared the air, we finally got to work. We had done the best we could despite the challenging circumstances. Before Theron died I had pushed away opportunities to take on leadership, only when necessary did I take the lead. I’d never dealt with a mission of this magnitude. None of this was easy, which I’d known, but it was by far harder than I ever thought possible. All I wanted to do at the moment, was crawl into the sleeping bag with Elijah and pretend nothing else existed except for us.
Elijah had kept his distance from Evin and Hida which meant he kept his distance from me as well. I had to remind myself repeatedly it was better this way, and I didn’t feel lonely like the ache in my chest claimed. That annoying little voice I’d dealt with for days called me a liar for the umpteenth time. As we worked I could feel his eyes on me and every once in a while I’d catch a stray feeling from him. Whenever that would happen, a warmth would take up residence in my lower stomach and around my heart.
That first night, I’d moved my sleeping bag to the other side of the warehouse. I’d laid there for hours, tossing and turning. The floor seemed harder over here than it had by his side. At some point, Evin had sneaked over to my sleeping spot and smacked me. “Quit being a dumbass. Go get cozy with your human.”
Hida would pretend she didn’t see me sleeping next to Elijah every night. I stayed in denial that she’d catch me each and every time. Thankfully, she said nothing, or we’d have ended up going another round. When I thought she’d finally fallen asleep each night, I’d crept into his sleeping bag. The only time I felt like I could truly breathe and relax. He gave me some intangible feeling that gave me permission to allow my guard to fall. I’d never experienced this before. Did I like it? I didn’t know the answer, but what did that say about me?
He’d pretend to still be asleep, but I always noticed the change in his breathing. Just before I’d drift off, my hand would slide under his shirt to rest over his heart. The feel of the steady rhythm soothed me and his nightmares were kept at bay. His heat kept the chill from my heart. That chill became a coat of armor I needed to protect myself, long before my world had imploded. It had become impossible to sleep at night without his presence next to me. The goddess knows I’d tried.
If we survived this, I had a problem on my hands. And more and more I noticed that a fear of not surviving had crept in. I couldn’t afford that. No way I could safely go into this battle with the fear of death looming over me. I’d die trying to kill the spider bitch for all the damage she’d caused to my loved ones if that’s what it took. No other option existed than her defeat.
One of those nights, he rolled over, wrapping his arm around my waist. A gentle tug had me flush against him and his mouth pressed up against my ear. “The steam coming out of your ears is keeping me awake.”
“I can’t sleep. My mind won’t shut off. This is too important to mess up.” The breath I hadn't known I’d held escaped me.
The kiss he gave me had chills going across my skin. “Close your eyes. Deep, even breaths. Where is your happy place, Kai?”
“Don’t call me Kai.” I mock growled before realizing I didn’t know the answer to his question. How pathetic is that Kainda? “I don’t think I have a happy place. There isn’t a time in my life where I’ve felt perfectly content.”
He had to judge me for that, I just knew it. My life was a sorry waste of the goddess’s gift. A sharp pain took up residence in my chest. He didn’t say anything, but what could he say to that. I didn’t want his pity, it was the only thing that could hurt me at the moment.
Looking inside, I felt for the tiny spark of residual magic left over from the spell. It faintly glowed like embers about to burn out. Letting my magic explore the ember, I let the thin thread of connection open. Taking a deep breath, I braced for impact. Elijah still projected his thoughts and feelings psychically, and purposely opening myself up to it would feel like running into a brick wall. But right now, I needed his presence in my mind.
His feelings flooded into me, so quickly, it boggled the mind. It took my breath away and forced a gasp from my lips. The most shocking thing, though, I couldn’t detect even a tiny trace of pity. What I couldn’t understand was why? Even I felt sorry for myself just now.
“There is nothing for me to pity you about.” Me opening the connection must’ve allowed my own thoughts and feelings to pass onto him. “The circumstances of your early life were beyond your control. And just when you were coming into your own as an adult, life threw you yet another curveball. Since then, fate hasn’t allowed you any happy moments. Maybe happy place was the wrong thing to bring to mind. Is there a place that brings you peace?”
I couldn’t even lie because as soon as he’d asked the answer had sprung to mind without my consent. If I could’ve, I would’ve, because for him to know and me to acknowledge it might prove disastrous. But like the glutton for punishment that I’d become, I answered him. “You. You bring me peace.”
After the too revealing conversation, he must’ve sensed I’d reached my limit. He hadn’t said anything else. By an unspoken mutual agreement, we hadn’t spoken again that night. He’d coaxed me to roll over to face him. Despite my better judgement, I’d kissed him and that tiny connection never closed. We fell asleep together in the knowledge of the other’s feelings.
I woke up just as the sun began to lighten the sky. Crawling out from his sleeping bag, no one else had woken yet. I needed the time to collect my thoughts after the revelations of the previous night. Grabbing a drink from a nearby cooler, I stepped outside to watch the sun come up. Sitting down in the grass, I moved into lotus pose and began walking myself through a self-guided meditation. The only way I could force those intrusive thoughts out of my head.
An hour or so later, the door creaking open to the warehouse jolted me out of my trance. Looking back over my shoulder, I found Evin standing in the door with an energy drink she sipped. She tossed her thumb over her shoulder, wanting me to come inside. Climbing to my feet, I went inside, only to find everyone else awake. Looking around, I couldn’t see Elijah, the door to the sole bathroom was closed.
Hida held up her phone. “Delmira is on the line. The troops are on their way. Battle time is upon us.”
“Do you always have to be so damn dramatic?” Evin snarked before taking a big swig of her drink.
I’d missed this during the long journey to uncover Uttu’s weakness. We might fight and bicker, but we’d chosen each other as family when fate thrust us into this life. The antics, a product of our closeness and affection for one another. But also from the amount of time that we spent together. Hida, the grandmother I’d never had. Delmira, the cool aunt that always felt a little maternal. And Evin like the older sister I never wanted. Though, she acted younger that I did at times.
Delmira gave us all an update before ringing off the line to get underway. Shortly afterward, my mother called my cell phone with some surprising news. She planned to come to help us, and I nearly fell off my feet in shock. Now days later, I still couldn’t believe it, since her coven were pacifists they wouldn’t approve. But she had slowly begun preparing to leave her familial coven as she’d started training her apprentice for the last three years. She wanted more than anything to finally have a functional relationship with me.
Time seemed to move at a different pace after that. Things had heated up, and I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hida had finally backed off on her animosity towards me and Elijah. But every now, and again, I’d catch her watching us with a look of disapproval on her face. She might not believe me, but I was distinctly aware of the ramifications of my feelings and involvement with Elijah.
Althea and my mother showed up six days after Hida and Evin with two groups of coven warriors. Delmira showed up alone, but not empty-handed. She brought word that the creatures she’d recruited were traveling our way, but wanted to make sure that the human only organization hunters that showed up didn’t plan to execute them. I couldn’t blame them for their wariness. Even I was wary of those organizations, though they tolerated witches, mostly.
The other demon hunters that Evin had recruited showed up next. After a long conversation, really more of a lecture, slash bargaining to illicit promises from them not to kill anyone that came to our aid. Peace secured, Delmira called the creatures in. Only the leader from each group met us in the shed, though, as there wasn’t enough room for all the creatures. Most of them camped outside, either in tents or in their animal forms.
Maurelle showed up next. Hida’s recruits brought up the rear. As each new being walked through the door, my shock grew. She’d gone to recruit elementals, at least from what she’d told us. The crazy old bat had kept her word. Elementals stood around the battle plans. The thing about elementals, they can’t pass for human. Each easily identifiable by their characteristics. Hida had managed to find a wood, a fire, a water, an air, a smoke, a metal, an earth, a plant, a spirit elemental, and two rock elementals to bring to the battle. The spirit elemental while beautiful creeped me out.
A seven-foot tall column of transparent energy, vaguely shaped like a woman. Purple, glowing energy had created her form. Her features only distinguishable by a darker shade of purple or high light of a lighter shade. Bursts of white light like fireflies appeared inside of her form sporadically. Evin hadn’t been able to contain her curiosity and asked the burning question. What in the love of Gaia were those sparks?
The answer was as unsettling as the rest of her. Souls. Those— now creeptastic— lights were souls. The ones bright and large, a new soul born in the universe, while the faint ones that flared instantly and then dimmed before winking out the souls of the dying, their energy going back to the spirit lands.
Hida had also managed to recruit a trio of Amazons, two of them Valkyries, and a squadron of Atlanteans warriors. The two groups stuck to opposite sides of the building, shooting each other dirty, murderous looks. Hida had assured me that the two feuding factions had long since called a cease fire, but still experienced something akin to the Cold War between the US and the Soviet Union had during the late forties. It didn’t reassure me the way I’m sure she’d hoped.
Now two weeks after we left Maurelle’s cottage store, everyone had arrived. All of our war party stuffed into the moderately sized warehouse resulted in a sweltering heat. The air stayed thick with tension, it practically vibrated. And the amount of magic all in one tiny space made my skin buzz. My own magic couldn’t decide if it wanted to come out and play or if it wanted to blow everyone to kingdom come and then bask in the solitude. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling.
Now that we no longer waited for anyone, we could focus on sealing the deal on the battle plans. Elijah kept to himself and offered little help with the planning. Not that anyone expected him to offer much. This wasn’t his area of expertise. Come to think of it, I didn’t know what his area of expertise actually was. He’d mostly asked me questions about myself and offered very little of himself. Only trivial things, nothing deep and personal from his life before Uttu.
I spent the bulk of my time during planning playing referee to the factions and laying down the law that I was in charge on this mission. Sometimes it felt like I wasted my breath. The problem with a mission of this size, too many damned cooks in the proverbial kitchen. All the dominant personalities had a need to lead and an attitude of ‘ my way or the highway. ’
On the day before battle, we broke for lunch and to let some of the hotheads chill out. Elijah elected to stay in our base of operation while almost everyone went outside to enjoy the mild autumn day. I brought him over a few slices of pizza someone had gone out and ordered for us. Devanna had gone and picked it up now that she had finally warmed to me and vice versa. Although, warmed to each other was probably a stretch, but we remained civil.
Taking a seat on the table-top next to his chair, I looked him over. Could I really let him go into battle with us? I still didn’t have an answer. E had become the first thing on my mind every morning when I woke up, and the last thing as I drifted off to sleep each night. My magic seemed to become restless any time I was within ten feet of the man. In turn, this woke up my body and fanned a low level desire at the same time. My will power waged a constant battle to keep my hands off of him.
He eyed my tight, athletic leggings and form fitting tank top. I wore my normal hunter getup of easy to move in clothes, combat boots, knives strapped to various places on my legs and elsewhere, vials of potions and holy water in hidden pockets, light jacket with zippered pockets full of on the fly magical tools, high grade mace, taser, and a gun holstered at the small of my back. Not much from the supernatural community could be taken down permanently with a gun, but they were good for scare tactics and tended to have humans vacating an area on the double. He looked like a normal person with his jeans and t-shirt, but they fit him to perfection. E set his plate on the table next to me and reached for my hands.
“We’re really going to charge her head on tomorrow?” He looked so pensive as he pulled me into his lap.
This was different and comforting and confusing. I couldn’t afford comfortable or confusing right now. He could turn me upside down and inside out after we made it out of this alive. But it felt damn good in his lap, which was part of the problem. I wanted to sit here cuddling with him for the rest of the day. Badass, demon hunting, bitch that’s who I am, but it’s not who I felt like in his arms. Getting attached to Elijah asked for heartbreak, and I didn’t fancy having my heart broken. Or breaking his if I died. I knew his heart was involved.
“If we make it out of this alive, Kainda, I want to get to know you better.” He said when I didn’t respond to his first statement.
“We should’ve done the getting to know each other better thing before we did the whole getting naked together thing.” I tried to joke, but his face got a sour look.
“Kainda, be serious for a moment?—”
“No, E! I am being serious. We can’t focus on anything other than beating Uttu. After that is done, we can discuss anything else afterward. I don’t have the mental bandwidth to deal with our relationship right now. For the love of the goddess, we can’t have a relationship, Elijah!”
He shook his head and lifted me from his lap. His weak looking frame hid surprising strength. I landed on my ass on the table again, barely missing the two slices still sitting there. E leaned in close, eyes laser focused on mine, before giving me a quick, intense kiss. He let go of me abruptly and walked away without another word. I was so screwed when it came to him and my heart.