Chapter 49
Chapter
Forty-Nine
Kainda
A week had passed since we returned home and so much had happened, it all kind of blurred beneath all the grief. Elijah had started settling in just fine. He’d taken one look at the library and fallen in love. We’d started planning Delmira’s memorial with Hida and Evin. The memorial was tonight once the sun set, and I wasn’t ready. I’d never be ready for this.
Elijah had managed to sleep through the night every night since we’d defeated Uttu. He held me every time the grief at Del’s loss became too much for me. Like he knew I needed him before even I did. He’d hold me against him in bed or on his lap in a chair in the library. It didn’t matter if I just sobbed or if I needed to tell him stories about Del for hours on end. He turned into my shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. His patience felt never ending.
The sky was dark, and the stars had started to blink into view as I lead Elijah outside and around the building. Hida and Evin both waited at the door down to the archives and dungeon. The cold weather outside, matched the feeling in my soul as we went down the stairs to say our farewells. Elijah held my hand the entire time. Standing together in front of the wall of pictures, my heart broke some more.
Rows of pictures hung there facing us. Pictures of the fallen with their names and dates on little gold plaques. Turk, my father’s former team leader and mentor. Theron, my father. And a dozen more faces smiled back at us. Devanna stood next to the wall with a nail and hammer. She hung Delmira’s picture and plaque next to my father’s. As soon as Del’s smiling face went up, the tears began to fall.
Evin and Hida both said beautiful words and shared memories of Del to honor our friend. Elijah’s arm around my waist held me up, squeezing me to him through it all. When they finished, everyone looked at me. I was supposed to say something, but the ball of emotion and tears clogging my throat prevented me from saying anything. For a long moment, the silence stretched taut and painful. The pressure unbearable.
“Delmira Hayes was a loyal friend and warrior. For the short time I knew her, she was nothing but kind. I wish I could have gotten to know her better. She will truly be missed by everyone who knew her. May her soul find peace.” Elijah said the words in a hushed tone, looking around to everyone in attendance. He whispered in my ear. “Kainda, I know it’s hard, but you need to say something because you need the closure. She was one of your closest friends, and now she’s gone, but she’ll never be forgotten.”
Stepping away from Elijah, I walked over to her picture. Devanna stepped back, giving me space. I touched my fingertips to the cold glass covering her cheek. “I miss you, Del. I’m so sorry things happened the way they did. Dad must be happy to have you back, though, and I know how happy that must make you. You loved him with every fiber of your being, and I know how much you hurt when he died. Tell him I love him. And Del, I love you. Thank you.”
I kissed my fingers and placed them back on the glass, holding them there for a moment. Closing my eyes, tears slipped down my cheeks. No one else said anything. Elijah wrapped his arm around my shoulders and lead me from the room. He took me back to my small studio apartment on the third floor of the building.
Together we crawled into my bed where he held me as the grief came in waves of pain and anger. He never pushed me to talk. His strong hands smoothed my hair back from my face and wiped away the tears. Quietly, he whispered to me how much he loved me and to let all the pain out.
I couldn’t imagine life without him in it anymore. Elijah was the glue holding all of my broken pieces together, and I loved him just as much as he loved me. I told him so again before I fell asleep in his arms that night.