Chapter 4
MAC
Fee gathers her things, stuffs them in her bag, and pushes away from the table.
I’m still reeling and internally trying to figure out what all this means. If anything. “Where are you going?”
“Somewhere quieter than here,” she declares.
“You’re supposed to be my wingwoman,” Gage complains.
I have the unreasonable desire to punch him in the kidneys.
“You have a wingman.” Fee motions to me.
“Besides, the object of your creepy stalking left two minutes ago, while Mac was deflecting yet another prospective date, and you were texting whomever.” Fee nods in the direction of the table where the girl Gage decided he’s into sat previously.
A group of dudes now occupies the space.
One of them tips his chin at Fee. “How’s it going?”
She smiles at him. “Good, Josh. You?”
“Awesome. I’ll see you in psych tomorrow?”
“I’ll be there.”
I suddenly have the urge to fight him, which is not a typical reaction I have ever. Even when I’m enforcing on the ice I’m mostly level headed.
“I knew I should’ve ignored those messages from my sister,” Gage grumbles.
“We’ve been here for over an hour. I have an actual assignment due tomorrow that I would like to finish before midnight.
” Fee slings her backpack over her shoulder.
“If you hurry, you might catch her. She said she was going to grab something to eat before everything closes, and the elevators here take eleven years.”
Gage shoves his textbook in his bag and rushes off.
“Chase just finished class. I’m going to meet up with him at the pizza place because he’s starving and I could eat.” Cammie looks at Fee.
They have a brief silent conversation with their eyebrows. “See you tomorrow!” Cammie hugs Fee and bumps my shoulder before she leaves.
“I’m calling it a night, too,” Fee’s voice pitches up an octave.
“I’ll walk you.” Boyfriend duties and all.
“You don’t have to.”
“I want to.” Any time spent in Fee’s presence is a win, plus I need to suss out what just happened.
I shoulder my backpack and hold the door open for her, summoning courage. “You know, it’s actually a great idea.”
She side-eyes me. “The elevators really do take forever.”
“No, I mean about—” I motion between us, anxiety causing a bead of sweat to trickle down my spine. This could either go well, or it could obliterate my ego. But when will I have another opportunity like this?
She quirks a blond brow.
I want to run my finger along it. And then my lips. Instead, I ask a leading question. “We’re friends, right?”
Her face softens, and man is she ever pretty when she looks at me with gentleness and compassion. “Yeah, of course we’re friends, Mac.”
“Cool. Yeah. Right.” I nod, swallow, and lick my lips, then follow with another obvious statement. “We hang out all the time.”
“We have an awesome group of friends,” she agrees.
“This could work.” We stop outside her and Tally’s apartment. “It wouldn’t be the worst situation.” If we stay just friends it’ll sting, but at least I won’t be jeopardizing our friendship or the group dynamics, but if we ended up being more…that would be amazing.
She crosses her arms, pretty lips pulling down at the corners. “Gee, thanks.”
“No. I mean. I don’t mean…” Shit. I’m fucking this up. “I like hanging out with you and maybe you don’t mind hanging out with me? I’m pretty sure you weren’t here for Gage’s company tonight.”
The corner of her mouth tips up. “He’s entertaining, and one day he’ll stop being a dolt and fall head over ass in love, and he’ll need friends who are girls to prevent him from epically fucking it up.”
A wave of relief crashes over me. She’s not into Gage. I still have some hope. “That’s not untrue, and it’s kind of you to be one of the people who volunteers for that role.”
She shrugs. “I won’t be alone in it.”
I steer the conversation back to us. I’ve been harboring a secret crush on Fee since I met her.
She’s always hung out with Cammie, Tally and Enid in the past, and this year she started coming to more parties, and spending more time with me and the rest of our friend group.
But Fee has never flirted with me. Ever.
And we’re together all the time so it wasn’t like I wanted to make things awkward by making a move and getting shot down.
Plus, her sister coaches the pros, so I didn’t want her to think it’s for her connections.
But she’s the one who said I was her boyfriend.
Maybe it was out of sheer frustration, maybe not.
Maybe my crush isn’t entirely one-sided.
This is a solid way to get closer to her and get the hockey player obsessed girls to lay off me for a while.
Plus, I’ll have a date I actually like for the hockey gala. It’s a win all the way around.
My coaches will be there, and possibly scouts, too.
It’s happened before. I need a date who appreciates the stakes.
And she’s standing right in front of me, looking wildly beautiful.
I go with practical, because Fee is a no-nonsense kind of girl, and I’m too scared to admit the truth yet.
I need time to get a better sense of her motivations.
“How about as friends you could be my fake girlfriend?” I suggest.
She blinks at me.
I resist the urge to oversell it.
“You want me to be your fake girlfriend?” she hedges.
“You can be my date to the hockey gala. You know the sport, and you don’t get all starry-eyed over the players because they’re just dudes to you,” I explain, sticking with the plan to appeal to her sensible side.
“This is accurate.” Her tongue sweeps out to wet her bottom lip.
I throw in another fact. “And if you’re my girlfriend, I’ll finally get some peace, and the other girls will leave me alone.”
Fee crosses her arms and purses her lips. “You know, Mac, if you didn’t flirt back, they might also leave you alone.”
“I’m being considerate,” I say defensively.
Fee sighs and rolls her eyes to the ceiling. “I can’t explain this to you.” Her eyes return to me. “You should watch KPop Demon Hunters. You’re literally Jinu.”
“Are you comparing me to a K-pop artist?” I can’t carry a tune at all.
“Just the way people respond to you, and your obliviousness to the impact it has.” She sighs. “You aren’t being rude by setting boundaries and saying you’re not looking for a date. You can be respectful and still say you’re not interested.”
I open and close my mouth a few times. I guess I never looked at it that way before. “I don’t like disappointing people.”
“I think it’s more that you hate having to witness hurting someone’s feelings.
When you say you’ll keep someone in mind, you’re telling them they have a shot, Mac.
All five hundred of the girls who have asked you about the hockey gala are still hoping you’ll pick them, when that’s the opposite of your intention,” she says, gently, kindly, like I’m a bad dog being admonished for chewing on the furniture.
But she’s right. I do this, and it’s not better than just saying I already have someone I want to go with. “Am I a dick?” I think I’m having an existential crisis.
Maybe I’ve already shot myself in the foot with Fee. Maybe this is why she never flirts with me.
“No, God no. You’re not…you aren’t a dick, Mac.
” She says it with conviction, and I’m immediately mollified.
“You’re the opposite. You’re super friendly and incredibly kind.
There’s a reason all the girls keep trying to shoot their shot.
You just need to learn how to set boundaries, so you’re not exhausted by all the attention and you don’t have to always worry about disappointing people. ”
“You could help me learn how. You could teach me if you were my fake girlfriend, Ophelia.” I want to take her hand, but I worry my brain will short-circuit like it did earlier and then I’ll accidentally admit I have a crush and ruin this half-baked plan.
“Please be my date to the hockey gala. I really need to focus on school and hockey this semester.” Especially hockey.
I don’t want to be the player who peaks in university.
“I need a break from being the guy all the girls want to go out with. Help me set some boundaries.”
She sighs, long and loud and deep. “Your life is so hard.”
“You really have no idea.” The stress of always turning people down is a lot.
“No, I don’t, because unlike you, I have boundaries.” She gives me a slow once-over that does amazing things to my body, and sighs again. “It’ll break the heart of every girl on campus, but fine, I’ll do you a solid, Mac. I’ll be your fake girlfriend.”