Chapter 8
FEE
Ibring Mac’s hoodie to my nose and inhale his cologne.
All my corresponding body parts tingle with longing, like they believe he’s here and he’ll suddenly wind his strong arm around my waist and kiss a path up the side of my neck.
I shove that fantasy back in the that-will-never-happen box with a despondent sigh.
“I’ll be back to snuggle with you later,” I whisper to the fabric before I carefully fold it and set it on my bed.
Two mornings ago, I woke up in Mac’s bed. Still fully dressed in my jeans, T-shirt, and his hoodie. I haven’t had a chance to give it back. Not that I’m sad about it, or that I want to. I have a problem, and he’s my fake boyfriend. The fake part being the real problem.
Because Mac didn’t sleep in his bed with me. He didn’t even sleep on the floor.
Instead, he opted for the gross couch in Gage’s bedroom.
The one with biohazard posters tacked above it, and a groove in the shape of Gage’s ass from all his time spent playing video games when he’s not on the ice, boning a random girl who showed interest in him, or in class.
So as nice as it was to wake up in Mac’s bed, ensconced in the smell of his delightful cologne, it sucks that all our couch cuddling doesn’t equal mutual attraction.
I’ve spent an extraordinary amount of time over the past forty-eight hours rolling things over in my head, sorting through all the puzzle pieces of who Mac is, what we are to each other, and how it all fits together.
My consensus is that I don’t love being his fake anything, but I can’t make him want to snuggle with me for real, so I’ll have to settle for snuggling with his hoodie instead.
It’s better than admitting my real feelings and potentially making things awkward or messing up the friend dynamic.
Tally has already left for dance practice by the time I come out of my room and pop a strudel in the toaster.
Roman would be mortified by my breakfast choice, but I’m all about making myself feel better with sugar.
I even stop at the café on the way to class and order a caramel latte with extra whipped cream.
During my art studio class, I paint all my feelings in uninspiring muted shades of blue that imbed themselves under my nails.
My professor stops to take in the piece. “Deviating from your usual palette today, Ophelia?”
Usually, I work in bright colors and reserve my moodier art for my alter ego. “Just trying something different.”
“I like it.”
“Thanks.” She nods and continues to the next student.
I secretly thrill at the compliment but add in a few of my signature classroom bright vibes. After class, I meet up with Cammie at the campus food hall.
We’ve just sat down with our trays—I went for balance and ordered a chicken salad and carrot cake with cream cheese frosting—when Gage and Brody plunk down across from me and Chase slides in next to Cammie.
I smell Mac before I see or hear him, and my body prepares for his impending closeness.
His arm brushes mine as he takes the seat next to me. “Hey.”
I brace for the impact of his pretty smile, but it doesn’t stop the flutters in my stomach or the way my voice pitches up. “Hey.”
“Looking beautiful as always,” he winks.
“You, too.” I wrinkle my nose. “I mean, handsome and smooth, as always.”
“Want me to dial it back?”
I pretend to contemplate that for a moment. “I don’t mind the flattery when it’s aimed at me.”
“You two match-ish.” Cammie motions to our trays.
I reluctantly drag my eyes away from Mac. His tray consists of a chicken salad sandwich, side salad, carton of chocolate milk, and slice of carrot cake.
“I love carrot cake,” I blurt.
His pretty smile widens. “Same.”
“Aww, you’re twinning,” Brody teases.
A group of girls pauses at our table. “Hi, Mac! Hi, Brody! Hi, Gage!”
“Hi, Chase and Cammie!” the one in the back pipes up.
“Hey.” Mac automatically puts his arm around me.
I wish I didn’t like it as much as I do. I also wish it wasn’t entirely for show and a shield.
The two at the front of the pack move aside and nudge the one sort of hidden behind them to the front.
“Ask him,” the pack leader hisses.
The poor girl’s face is beet red. Her eyes bounce around the group and land on Brody, her face turning impossibly redder. “Um, uh, um…”
I want to hug her and tell her to get nicer friends.
Brody looks about as comfortable as a bunny in a lion’s den.
“Good luck at the game this weekend, Brody!” she stammers and rushes off.
Her friends cringe and watch her disappear into the bathroom.
“Sorry, she gets nervous.” The one in the back shrugs and follows them.
“Well, that was awkward,” Gage notes cheerfully.
“Why didn’t you put your arm around me and save us both from it, then?” Brody deadpans.
“That’s a strategy. Or you know, you could just ask E—”
Brody digs a finger into Gage’s side. “Fuck you.”
“Fuck you back.”
Gage lets it go and slaps a piece of paper on the table. “The SAC club is hosting a fundraiser movie night and we should all go.”
“What’s SAC?” Chase asks.
“Student accessibility club,” Gage explains. “My sister is on the committee, so I want to support her.”
“That’s cool. I can go,” Brody says.
“So can we.” Cammie pats Chase’s cheek then looks pointedly at me. “You don’t have class tonight.”
“I have a psych quiz later this week, but I could take a movie break.” I glance at Mac, fighting to squelch my hopeful lilt. A couple of hours in a dark room, tucked into his side, sounds like heaven. “What about you?”
“I can do a movie tonight.”
“Cool.” I’m impressed at my nonchalant tone. “I’ll text Talls and Enid and see if they can join.” I pull out my phone and fire off a message.
“Thanks, guys. I appreciate the support.” Gage digs into his massive plate of spaghetti.
“Should we ask any of the other guys on the team?” Chase asks.
“Eh.” Gage swipes his mouth with a napkin. “Maybe just keep it our group? If one of the other guys hit on my sister, I’d have to kill them and then I’d be kicked off the team.”
“I mean, fair,” Chase muses. “Especially if it was Brick.”
“This exactly,” Gage agrees.
His sister is HOH, so Gage is fluent in ASL. His sister is a freshman and lives on the other end of campus, in one of the accessibility dorms, so I’ve only heard about her and haven’t met her yet. She’s kind of been like Polkaroo so far this year.
My phone pings with new messages from Enid and Tally.
Enid
As long as it’s not a horror movie, I’m in.
Tally
Same, I can do campy horror, but not Rob Zombie horror.
Fee
They’re playing Wonder.
Enid
I always cry at that movie.
Tally
Me too!
Cammie
We might need cucumbers tomorrow.
Tally
Cammie
For puffy eyes.
The Terror women have ruined your pure mind.
Tally
You ruined it first with Aragorn and Legolas.
Enid
Please update your fic soon, Cam-Cam.
Cammie
Working on a new chapter this afternoon!
“Dibs on first beta read!” I squeal and side-hug Cammie. “Tally and Enid are in.”
“Cool. First beta read for what?” Gage asks.
“Cammie’s fic,” Chase says.
“I can’t wait for the next chapter,” Gage says.
The table goes silent.
“What? Everyone else is reading it, why shouldn’t I? Right, man?” He elbows Brody.
“Yup.” Brody’s face turns red and his food is suddenly super interesting.
We finish lunch, and I get irrationally excited when Mac lifts me off my feet in a goodbye hug before I head to my next lecture. My good mood improves when I spot my recent sticker on someone’s binder.
After class I head back to my apartment and call my sisters before I get ready for movie night. Their faces appear on the screen and my niece tries to hide in my sister’s cleavage. “Ariel! You get bigger every time I see you!”
She wrinkles her nose and shoves her stuffed goose’s beak into her mouth while still playing shy.
“How was practice today?” I ask. “For both of you?”
“Good. The boys are solid this season.” Lexi bounces a babbling Ariel in her lap. Ariel is a perfect mix of her and Roman with dark hair and huge eyes.
“I had a shutout today! Which is great because we’re playing against our biggest competition this weekend and they have a high scoring record,” Callie informs me.
“But they only scored on you once the last time you played them.” Roman tucks himself in beside Lexi, and Ariel clambers into his lap, snuggling into him.
“Hi, Roman, how was your day?”
“Full of hockey, just like these two. What about yours?”
“I was hanging with some hockey players, so hockey adjacent. I’m going to the movies tonight.” I finger-comb my hair.
“On a date?” Lexi perks up.
“It’s a group thing.”
“What about that boy you mentioned?” Lexi presses.
I widen my eyes at her.
“What boy?” Roman frowns.
“He’s just a friend. They’re all just friends,” I assure him.
Tally knocks on my door and pokes her head in. “You ready?”
I give her a thumbs-up. “Speaking of friends, Tally’s ready to go.”
“Tell her I say hello!”
Tally gazelle-leaps over and waves. “Hi, Roman, Lexi, Callie, and little Ariel!”
“Hi, Tally!” Callie’s eyes light up.
“You doing okay, kiddo?” Roman asks.
She nods and hugs me from behind. “Managing all the things. How’s my dad?”
Her parents recently separated, and she started dating Flip Madden, one of the Terror players, who her dad coaches.
“He’s doing okay. We’ll keep an eye on him for you,” Lexi assures her.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” She smiles, but it’s weighed down.
Things have been understandably tense with Tally and her family for a plethora of reasons, not the least of which is Flip’s former playboy reputation.
She’s been throwing herself into dance and school and actively avoiding all the social media speculation.
It’s been a lot for her to handle, especially since she’s in her final semester, but she’s been holding a candle for Flip for ages.
It sort of gives me hope that maybe me and Mac could also transition from fake-dating friends to something more.
“Okay! We should go! Love you! Talk soon!” I make a heart with my hands and end the call.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Glad for the distraction and friends tonight.” She eyes my outfit. “I approve of this.”
I look down at myself. “Oh shit. I should change the hoodie.”
“No. Nope. The hoodie should remain. You’re Mac’s girlfriend.”
“Fake girlfriend.”
She pulls me up off the bed. “For now.”