Chapter 12
FEE
Islap my thighs. “Why don’t we make some popcorn?”
Cammie and Chase take a three second break from their excessive PDAing.
“You make the best popcorn! Can I have mine with cheese seasoning, please?” Annnnnd Chase is back to kissing her neck.
“Sure.” I turn to Mac. “Wanna help?”
“Absolutely.” His nod is exceptionally enthusiastic, even for a self-proclaimed popcorn lover.
Seems like we both need a break from their hormones. “Cool.”
We leave the happy couple to their foreplay without an audience.
Cammie just posted another chapter of her fic and I finished my assignment, so we thought it would be an awesome idea to have a movie night at Mac’s. Brody is at his brother’s, and Gage is out with some of their teammates, so in theory it was a good idea.
I should have foreseen Cammie and Chase being all over each other the moment we walked in the door.
The chapter was exceptionally spicy, so I get it.
But if they needed to get a boning out of their system, they should have just gone back to their apartment and fucked each other senseless.
Now Mac and I are subjected to their rampant hormones.
Most of the time it’s cute.
But right now, when I’m hanging out with my not-real boyfriend, with nowhere to channel all my pent-up sex energy, I long for things that aren’t happening; like make-out sessions to go with the hugs and snuggles.
The ice time practice session I stumbled on was amazing. I got to touch Mac on purpose, a lot, and it felt like we connected, and not just about hockey. He’s also been smoother on the ice, which is awesome.
“Is it me or are those two extra touchy?” Mac whispers once we’re in the kitchen.
His ears have turned red, along with his cheeks.
“They’re channeling some big fuck energy,” I agree. “Cammie posted a chapter.”
“Oh.” His eyes flare. “A spicy one?”
“Super spicy. Yeah.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “Don’t they like…test the scenes before she writes them?”
“Yeah. And possibly after, I guess.”
“Right.” His Adam’s apple bobs.
We stare at each other for a few long seconds, me wishing Mac would back me up into the counter and kiss his way up my neck the way Chase was doing to Cammie.
Eventually I look away, because I don’t want Mac to be able to read the longing on my face.
Before we entered this agreement, he was hot, nice, my friend and fun to hang out with.
He’s still all those things, but we’ve gotten closer and sometimes it feels like all the hugs and snuggles aren’t just for show.
I run my sweaty hands over my hips. “So where do you keep the popcorn supplies?”
“Right. Yeah.” Mac skirts around me and pulls out a full-on popcorn maker. The kind you usually see at birthday parties.
“Whoa. How come this is the first time I’ve seen this?”
“We don’t bring it out at house parties because we don’t want it to get broken,” he explains.
“Reasonable.” I nod my agreement. “You guys are living the dream here.”
“My mom bought it for me when we got the house because I’m a popcorn fanatic.”
“I feel this in my soul.” I lean against the counter. “I could eat it every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of it.”
“Me neither,” Mac agrees.
“What’s your favorite seasoning?”
“White cheddar is classic, but sometimes I like to mix that with dill.”
“Ooh, nice.”
“How about you?”
“I’m a huge barbecue fan, but also kettle corn hits the salty sweet button.”
“We have this kick-ass farmer’s market in Guelph in the summer, and one of the vendors has the best kettle corn. Back when I was in high school my family would go every weekend.”
“We had one in Niagara, too. It was the best during peach and cherry season, though.” I’m hit with a wave of memories.
“I live for Niagara peach season. Did you go to the market often?” Mac pulls popcorn bowls down from the cupboard.
“It was our Saturday family tradition.” Sadness sweeps over me, and I turn away as I fight to push it down.
“Shit, Fee, I’m sorry.” Mac trails his fingers gently down my arm. “I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
“It’s okay.” I want to step into him and feel his arms around me again, like when we were at the arena.
I work to control the waver in my voice so I can explain.
“A lot of people avoid conversations about my parents. Not my sisters, but other people, because death hurts and it’s uncomfortable.
We can’t take away other people’s pain, and we can’t stop them from experiencing it, and that can be hard, but I like talking about the memories. ”
“Even though it makes you miss them?” he asks softly.
“Yeah.” I inhale deeply, hoping to hold the tears back this time. “If they were here, they’d want me to be happy and still be able to talk about them.”
“I know it’s not the same, but when my parents first split up it felt like this huge loss. Like everything I knew was suddenly gone,” Mac says softly. “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you, but I am always here, Ophelia. To talk, to not talk, even if you just need a hug.”
“That’d be nice,” I whisper.
He links our pinkies. “Feeling the hug vibe?”
“Please.” My heart skips a beat as he pulls me closer.
My eyes slide closed as his arms circle my waist. And I happily sink into the affection, hands linked at the small of his back. He smells so good, like fresh rain and sandalwood. He’s warm and solid and it feels so good to be held by him.
He squeezes me tighter for a few more seconds before releasing me. But his hands slide up my arms and curve around my shoulders. And mine settle on his hips. Our eyes meet. His are soft and warm, a tropical ocean I want to swim in. His tongue drags across his bottom lip.
Does he want to kiss me?
Maybe he likes me the way I like him.
I lean in and his eyes flare.
Or maybe I’m reading into things. Maybe I’m projecting. Maybe the hormones and the feelings are interfering.
I step back as he leans in.
He raises his hands. “Shit. I’m sorry.”
Was he going to kiss me? Or did I imagine he leaned in? I’m so confused. I blame Cammie and Chase and Mac’s exceptional sweetness.
“No! Don’t apologize. That’s not…I wasn’t…sometimes faces get close together. Especially right after people hug.” What I do next will haunt me until the end of my days.
I grab Mac’s giant hand, raise it in the air, and shout, “High five!”
He stares down at me with understandable confusion.
And I immediately want to melt into the floor.
I just high-fived the guy I want to kiss. Mac and I have never high-fived. Ever. And an embarrassing botched almost-first kiss is not the time for a fucking high five. But here I am, making things endlessly awkward.
I’ve just entered the fourth circle of thumbs-up hell, and it’s nowhere I ever wanted to end up, especially not with Mac.