Chapter 14
FEE
“Crap! Crappity, crap, crap!”
“What’s wrong?”
I startle at the sound of Mac’s deep voice behind me.
Cammie makes room for him to join us. I haven’t seen Mac since we kissed.
Yesterday he had hockey practice and a study group for one of his classes, and I had an art project to work on.
I spent eight hours in the studio and only came out because my stomach was complaining so loudly it sounded like a lamenting yeti lived in there.
Which means Mac and I have not talked about the kiss.
“My sister has a big game in less than an hour and the bus takes forever to get there.” I can Uber, but I try to reserve that for emergencies, and a trip will be expensive this time of day.
“I’ll take you,” Mac offers before any of my friends can offer their cars.
“I can call a ride,” I hedge. I’m anxious about being alone with Mac. What if he wants to talk about what happened? We didn’t discuss how long this situation was going to last. What if he’s only offering so we can have some privacy and he plans to fake dump me?
I’m already spiraling.
“My car is in the lot behind this building. We can be on the way in two.”
“Sounds like your problem is solved,” Cammie smiles serenely.
“Should we go?” Mac looks at me expectantly.
“Yeah. Yes. Let’s do it.”
A few minutes later I’m sitting in the passenger seat of Mac’s car, huffing his cologne, palms damp, and mouth dry. “Thanks for driving me.”
“You came with me to my hockey gala, and you’ve been helping me on the ice, so I’m happy to return the favor,” he replies.
I tell my brain not to read into that. The toe-curling good-night kiss from the gala two nights ago could be chalked up to date-night vibes.
It was just a kiss.
An amazing kiss.
Probably the best kiss of my life. I haven’t stopped thinking about it.
Three times I try to summon the courage to just say something, but I lose my nerve, afraid I’m setting myself up for a trip down Languishing Road, where I could drive off a cliff into a pit of longing and unrequited desire.
When we reach the arena, I expect Mac to drop me off the at the door, but he finds a parking spot instead. “You don’t have to come to Callie’s game with me.”
“I don’t mind.” He smiles and hops out of the car.
I scramble to do the same, but he has long legs and I’m discombobulated, so I’ve just finished unbuckling my seat belt when he opens the passenger door for me.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.”
He’s all dimpled smiles and it does nothing to help the roll in my stomach, but at least I’m no longer huffing his distilled cologne.
I haven’t told my sister about my boyfriend because of the fake part.
I’m still trying to figure out how to handle this when we reach the rink.
The game has just started, and I scan the seats, Lexi and Roman are near center ice with little Ariel bouncing around between them, Connor Grace, a Toronto Terror player, and his wife, Mildred, who everyone calls Dred, with them.
I issue a warning, “So Roman’s dad vibes are a bit extra.”
Mac’s eyebrows pull together. “You mean Forrest-Hammer?”
“Yeah.”
“Wait.” Mac freezes mid-stride. “He’s here?”
“Yeah.” Empathy replaces anxiety at his suddenly nervous expression. “Roman tries to make all her games. He’s like a…pseudo dad for Callie.” It’s the best way I can explain it. Callie is almost finished with middle school, and Roman is old enough to be our dad, which is how she sees him.
“Right, yeah. Of course, that makes sense. Is that weird for you?” he asks, brow back to a furrow. “Or hard?”
My heart gets all mushy over his concern for my feelings.
“At first a little. I felt guilty for loving him like a parent, but mostly I’m just thankful now.
No one will ever replace mine, but my sister has done a great job of managing both roles, and Roman just has…
big dad energy,” I confide. I don’t envy Callie or Ariel when they start dating.
At least Callie will pave the way for little Ariel.
“How do you have it so together with everything you’ve been through?” Mac asks quietly.
“Therapy?” I joke. “I have a great family and awesome friends, which is more than a lot of people in my situation.”
“You’re fucking amazing, I hope you know that,” he says earnestly.
“So are you. Come on, I’ll introduce you to Roman and my sister.”
Mac nods and wipes his hands on his pants as we cross over to them.
He grabs my hand when we reach their row and drops his voice. “Holy sh—crap,” he adjusts his language as we pass two kids. “Is that Connor Grace?”
“Yeah, he and his wife Dred come to Callie’s games a lot, too. Callie is his number-one fan, and he adores her.”
Mac blows out a breath and turns to me, hand still wrapped around mine. “Okay, so…we’ve been friends for a while.”
“Yeah, we have.” My stomach flips as his tongue drags across his bottom lip and I inconveniently think about our good-night kiss for the millionth time since it happened.
“And I appreciate you for who you are as a person, and not who you’re related to and who you know,” he says.
“I know that, Mac.” It is nice to hear it, though, and for him to sound completely genuine.
“But honestly? I’m freaking out a little right now.”
I smile, glad to have something to focus on other than my own nerves. “I get it, but they’re just people. Roman burps like everyone else in the world. He also snores sometimes. I don’t know about Connor though. His burps probably smell like sophistication and expensive cologne.”
Mac shakes his head and chuckles. “Your brain is weird.”
“Thank you. But seriously, they’re regular guys off the ice.”
“They’re my heroes,” he admits.
“That’s totally reasonable. I won’t make fun of you for getting starry-eyed over them. It would be the same if I ever met Banksy.” I squeeze his hand. “Want me to introduce you?”
“Yeah. Please.”
I lead him to where my sister is seated, a couple of rows back from the ice.
“Big Pheels!” Lexi hops up and rushes over to hug me.
I’d be embarrassed about the nickname, but she’s been calling me that for years, and during my teens it was exceptionally accurate.
She steps back, and her eyes flare slightly as she notices Mac. “Hi, I’m Lexi, Fee’s sister.”
I panic, even though I knew this was coming. “Lexi, this is my friend, Mac!”
His head whips my way for a second, but he extends his hand. “It’s really nice to meet you, Lexi.”
“It’s nice to meet you, too, Mac,” Lexi glances between us like she’s trying to figure out the dynamic.
Roman appears at Lexi’s side, holding Ariel. One arm is latched to his neck, her other fingers in her mouth, her head on his shoulder. She’s wearing a puffy pink princess dress and tiara. He looks far less intimidating when he’s holding my niece. “Hey, kiddo.”
He side-hugs me as best he can while holding Ariel, who immediately decides she wants to be in my arms.
“How’s my favorite niece?”
“Fifi!” Ariel wraps her arms around my neck.
Roman turns to Mac. “Hi, I’m Roman.”
“This is my friend, Mac,” I rush to explain, again.
“I know who you are, sir. It’s an honor.”
Roman takes Mac’s hand in what I can only hope is a gentle, non-bone-crushing handshake. “You follow hockey?” His gaze shifts to me, questions in his eyes.
“Mac is on the team at Tilton,” I explain as I give him what I hope is a meaningful, don’t-torment-Mac look. “He’s friends with Chase and Brody.”
“Ah!” Roman nods as he makes the connection. “I’ve had the pleasure of coaching them. They show lots of promise,” Roman notes.
“They’re two of the best players on the team,” Mac agrees.
“Come join us.” Roman motions for us to go ahead of him, then follows behind Mac, which means he’ll be able to interrogate him.
Dred stands at my approach and hugs me, whispering so only I can hear, “He’s cute.”
“Don’t I know it,” I mutter quietly.
I’m forced into another round of introductions. “Mac goes to Tilton with me and plays on the hockey team with Brody and Chase.”
“It’s great to meet you.” Connor shakes his hand.
Mac is polite and doesn’t stammer over his words.
We take our seats and Ariel claims my lap so she can tell me all about her new princess outfit, which means Roman is free to grill Mac.
“I’ve seen you on the ice before. What position do you play, Mac?”
“I’m defense,” he replies.
“Are you the same year as Brody and Chase?” Roman watches Callie but continues with the questions.
“I am. Brody is my roommate.”
“He’s got a good head on his shoulders. He’ll be playing pro come the fall.”
Callie blocks a shot on net. “Nice work out there, Callie!” He turns back to Mac. “What about you? What are your plans after graduation?”
Mac and I haven’t talked about what’s next for him. But why would we when we’re just pretend?
“I’ll have a kin degree under my belt, but the dream is to be called up by a team,” Mac confides.
“Do you have interest?” Roman presses.
“Uh, yeah. Ottawa, Edmonton, and Florida.” Mac rubs the back of his neck.
Florida and Edmonton are both a plane ride away, and Ottawa is five hours by car. I still have a year left. How would it even work if we were actually real?
“You have designs on any of those teams?”
Ariel climbs out of my lap and pushes past Mac’s knees to tug on Roman’s sleeve. “Da-ee! I need to pee!”
“Okay, kiddo, let’s go.”
I’m grateful Lexi doesn’t offer to take her.
“I’m really sorry about him,” I mutter to Mac once Roman is heading for the bathroom with Ariel doing the pee-pee dance.
“It’s okay, I really don’t mind.”
Lexi moves into Roman’s seat while he’s gone, preventing further interrogation, but he side-eyes Mac when he stretches his arm across the back of my chair halfway through the period.
Mac offers to go to the concession stand at intermission.
I turn to Roman. “Can you cut it with the hairy eyeball?”
Roman arches his brow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Ariel pokes between his eyes. “S’mood.”
Connor scoffs. “He must really like you if he’s willing to brave Daddy Roman.”
“Do not call me that,” Roman grumbles.
Dred does a circle motion around her face, then points at Roman. “This is why Hammer and Hollis hid things from you.”
Before we moved to Toronto, Roman’s daughter, who is older than me by a few years, started dating one of the Terror players.
That player also happened to be twelve years older than her and Roman’s best friend.
Hammer and Hollis dated in secret for several months before the shit hit the fan.
Apparently, Roman didn’t take it well at first, which tracks.
Roman pokes at his cheek with his tongue and glares at Dred.
“Don’t look at my wife like that,” Connor warns.
Dred pats his hand. “I can handle myself, Connor.”
“I’m aware, darling.” He kisses her temple.
“He’s a hockey player,” Roman states.
“Uh, yeah. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m surrounded by hockey players all the time. He’s my friend.”
“You two seem pretty cozy for friends,” my sister pipes up.
“Whose side are you on?” I grumble.
“It’s just an observation.” She smiles innocently.
Mac returns with popcorn and drinks from the concession stand for everyone, ending that conversation. He even bought Ariel a box of animal crackers.
I shoot a see? look at Roman.
Mac puts his arm around me again.
Lexi gives me a look which I ignore.
While I relish the closeness, my pit of longing gets deeper the more time I spend with Mac.
Callie’s team wins, so upon her request, we go to Just Desserts for ice cream sundaes, despite it being the middle of winter.
“You can sit right here, Callie.” Connor offers the chair to the right of him, since Dred is already on his left.
Callie’s lips pull to the side. “Thanks, but I’m going to sit beside Mac.”
Connor frowns, making his regal face severe for a moment.
Dred smothers a laugh by pressing her face against his arm.
He crosses his arms. “This isn’t funny, darling. I’m being replaced.”
“You’re still my favorite player, Connor, but new friends need to feel welcome.” She slides into the seat next to Mac, looking up at him with starry eyes. “Roman said you play hockey. What position?”
“I’m defense.”
Her face lights up. “So you help protect the goalie.”
I exchange a look with Lexi, while Connor scowls. Of course Callie is trying to mack on Mac. The boy-crazy era will hit her hard.
“I do, but the whole team needs to help the goalie protect the net, don’t you think?” Mac says.
Callie beams up at him. “I totally agree.”
I love how seamlessly Mac fits in with my sisters and the family I’ve found in the Terror, even if we’re destined to just be friends. As Mac interacts with the people I care about the most, an idea starts to form.
I have access to all these amazing pro players, and Mac has already admitted that he hasn’t asked Brody for help because he doesn’t want to take advantage of his friend’s connections.
Roman coaches up-and-comers, Connor plays for the Terror, and my sister is a coach.
It’s not taking advantage if I’m the one who orchestrates it.
He’s already playing so much smoother, but if I can get him on the ice with Connor and Roman and my sister…
it could change his whole game around. He could have his pick of teams in the fall.
And maybe he won’t end up on the other side of the country.