Chapter 18
MAC
Fee frowns at her phone. “Crap. I might have to bail on you guys.”
“What’s up?” Cammie asks.
“Hold on.” Fee brings her phone to her ear as it starts ringing. “What’s up, Lexi?”
Her face tells a story as her eyebrows pop, then lower, her bottom lip rolling between her teeth as she nods.
“Yeah. Yeah. It’s okay. I’m done with classes for the day.
I can handle it, no problem. I get that you can’t be in two places at once.
I’m on my way now. I’ll message Callie and let her know.
” A pause follows and her expression softens.
“No, really, I get it. I don’t want her navigating public transit when she doesn’t feel good either.
I’ll stop at the condo and grab the car, first.” Another pause.
“Love you, too. I’ll message when we’re home. ”
“Everything okay with your sisters?” I ask when she lowers the phone from her ear.
“No, but yeah? There’s a scheduling conflict and they need someone to pick Callie up from school because she’s not feeling the best.”
“I can drive you,” I offer, already packing up my things.
We haven’t been alone together since Chase dragged me out of her hotel bed two days ago.
My memory is foggy, but I’m pretty sure we were cuddling when I woke up.
I wanted to talk to her about the kiss, but I also didn’t want to make it weird for her, and then I passed out.
Now might be a good time to finally have a truthful conversation about my feelings and how I don’t want her to be my fake girlfriend anymore.
“Are you sure? I’ll probably be a few hours and apparently Callie’s feeling pretty green,” Fee hedges.
“I don’t mind.”
“Tell Callie we love her,” Cammie says.
“Give her a hug for me,” Tally adds.
“Will do.” Fee hugs them and we leave the student commons and head for the parking lot. “Thanks for offering to come with.”
“I don’t mind. Maybe we can get in a little study time while we’re waiting for your sister to get home.” And possibly talk about that kiss.
“That’d be great. I love my psych class, but the first couple of quizzes have been all multiple choice and those aren’t my favorite.”
“They always have one trick answer. I probably still have my tests from that course. I know they switch them up every semester, but it doesn’t hurt to take a look,” I offer.
“Any help I can get would be great,” she replies.
We reach my car and she plugs her sister’s school into the GPS before I pull out of the lot.
“You and your sisters are close,” I say as we navigate city traffic.
“Yeah. Even with the big age gaps. Lexi and I weren’t as close when I was Callie’s age, because she was already in university, but then we lost our parents and she stepped in, and yeah.
” She shrugs and her smile is a little sad.
“Callie and I were always close because we have the same dad, though. It was different for Lexi. She didn’t have the experience we did. ”
“How do you mean?” I ask.
“Our mom and her dad split up when she was really young and I think it was hard on her. Mom was angry that it didn’t work and blamed Kristoff for not being present.
” She sighs. “He still isn’t. He’s a New York lawyer and work focused.
” She taps the armrest. “My mom didn’t openly bad-mouth him to us, but it was obvious she harbored some resentment, if that makes sense. ”
“I think so? It’s like my parents, maybe? They fought a lot when they were together. Then they separated, and things weren’t tense all the time anymore.” The worst was the stifling silence that lasted days once the fighting ended.
“How old were you?”
“Like seven.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been so hard,” Fee says gently.
“Parts of it, yeah.” I tap on the steering wheel.
“There was some custody stuff that they mostly tried to keep me out of, but once they were living in different houses it got better. I used to get a lot of stomachaches when I was young, and those stopped after they split.” It felt like a big loss at the time, but I still have both my parents and Fee doesn’t.
“Probably anxiety?”
“Yeah, from the fighting,” I agree.
“Divorce is hard,” Fee says empathetically.
“It can be, but my parents are happier apart than together,” I say.
“That’s good?” It’s more of a question.
“Yeah. For all of us,” I agree.
Fee is silent for a moment before she says, “I feel bad for Tally.” Her parents separated just before winter break and it’s thrown her for a loop. She’s been mostly focused on dance, school, and Flip Madden.
“Yeah, especially since her dad is in the public eye and everyone has a front-row seat to what’s happening in his life.
” It’s not a high-ticket item in the hockey news sphere, but every time Toronto has a bad game, the media questions whether Coach Vander Zee’s personal life is a contributing factor.
“You know what that’s like because of your sister and Roman,” I say.
“Mm. I do. They’ve been really careful about not posting photos of Callie and Ariel on their public profiles.”
“To protect them from the media?” I ask.
“Yeah, they saw how hard my senior year was and just want to insulate them a little, I think. People can be harsh and careless with their words online.”
“Is that why you don’t really post your art on your socials?” Fee’s profile is mostly pictures of her art supplies, study photos, and still-life pictures, but not her actual pieces.
She seems surprised that I know this. “It’s part of the reason, yeah.”
I arrive at Callie’s school, so I can’t dig into that further. I pull into the parking lot and stop in front of the entrance.
“I shouldn’t be long.” She hops out and ducks her head against the blustery cold as she rushes toward the entrance.
I put the car in park and dig my phone out of my pocket. My guy chat is blowing up with messages.
Brody
Shit or get off the pot, dude.
Chase
^^^this
Gage
Maybe kiss her?
Chase
But ask first.
Gage
Obviously. Consent is king.
Brody
Or just tell her you don’t want to fake date her and you’d rather for real date her.
Gage
Gee, man, that’s some solid advice.
Brody
Mac
I’m working on it. We’re just picking up her sister now. Figured it might be better once we’re headed back to campus.
Brody
I’ll accept this.
Gage
For now.
Chase
Update us when you’ve made your move.
Fee returns a moment later with a pale, sad-looking Callie, so I pocket my device.
“Hi, Mac.” Callie climbs in, a plastic tub clutched in her hands. “Can you sit in the back with me, Fee?”
Fee grimaces. “Are you okay with that?”
“Of course. I got you.”
Fee joins her sister and I punch the address into GPS again before I leave the parking lot. It doesn’t take long to get to her sister’s condo. I park in the visitor’s space, and we take the elevator to the penthouse floor.
“Holy wow,” I mutter as she ushers me and Callie inside.
“Nice, right? This used to be Roman’s bachelor pad, but now it’s a family home.”
“Can I lie down in the living room and watch the hockey highlights?” Callie trudges to the couch, still clutching her bucket.
“Sure. I’ll get your blankets and pillow and some ginger ale.”
“Thanks.” Callie flops onto the couch with a groan.
Fee brushes her hair away from her face and presses her lips to her forehead, too. “You’re warm. I’ll get you something for the fever.”
“Do you need my help?” I ask.
“Yeah, sure. Come with me.”
I follow Fee down the hall to Callie’s bedroom.
“Once she’s settled, I’ll give you the tour,” Fee promises.
I step inside the bedroom that clearly belongs to a hockey player who is also verging on being a teen. There are boy band and hockey posters. But one poster in particular stands out. “Wow.”
“Connor had that made for her birthday a few years ago.”
“That’s incredible.” Connor Grace, in full uniform, rides a unicorn, while wielding his hockey stick like a sword.
“Right?” She grabs an excessively large stuffed unicorn and hugs it to her chest. “This was from Roman in retaliation.”
“The Terror really are like family, aren’t they?”
“Yeah.” She smiles, but it’s a little wistful.
“Would you ever move away from Toronto?” I ask without really thinking.
“I don’t know. It isn’t really something I’ve had to consider.”
“Fifi! I think I’m going to be sick!” Callie’s shout is followed by retching.
“You go. I’ll get the couch set up,” I say.
“Thanks.” Fee tosses me the unicorn and rushes down the hall.
They’re in the bathroom for fifteen minutes, and Callie is a teary-eyed mess by the time we get her situated on the couch, hugging the unicorn that’s almost the same size she is with her head in Fee’s lap.
We just hang out and watch hockey highlights, me occasionally running to the kitchen to grab her more electrolyte water or buttered saltines.
“I miss Mom,” Callie says.
“I know Callie-Wallie. Me, too.” Fee runs her fingers through her sister’s hair.
“Will you sing ‘You Are My Sunshine’?” she whispers.
Fee’s eyes lift to me, cheeks flushing as she mouths, sorry in advance. “Sure. Her voice is soft and a little unsteady, but in tune. It’s clearly a song she knows well.
Roman is the first to arrive home. Callie bursts into tears and he folds her into a hug, just like a dad would. “Not feeling good, pumpkin?”
“I threw up,” she sniffles. “I really hate throwing up.”
“I know, kiddo. The flu sucks, doesn’t it?”
“It’s the worst. And I have to miss practice.”
“It’s okay.” He pats her back. “You have to take care of your body, and right now it’s telling you that you need to rest.”
Lexi arrives shortly after, Ariel weebling excitedly across the room, yelling, “Dada.” It’s a flurry of activity while Fee and Lexi debate whether it’s a good idea for her to hold her niece since Callie is so sick.
“I can keep Ariel entertained if you need someone to step in while you manage everything else. I have only touched the unicorn, and I have experience with tiny people,” I offer.
“Thanks, Mac.” Lexi crouches in front of her daughter. “Callie-Wallie isn’t feeling good and we all need to wash our hands so we don’t spread germs.”
Ariel makes a face and waves her hands in the air. “No germs!”
“That’s right. Do you remember Mac?” Lexi points at me.
“Or-ge hair!” Ariel exclaims and points to my head.
“That’s right. Can you show Mac your room and wash your hands?”
“I show you ma room!” She bumbles over and takes my hand, leading me down the hall. She babbles as she takes me to her room and shows me her princess bed and then she climbs up onto the counter in her bathroom and washes her hands while I hum “We Will Rock You.”
By the time we’re done, Roman and Lexi are settled and a still-green Callie is tucked into Roman’s side on the couch.
“I love that you’re here, but I know you have a test later this week, and I don’t want you to get what Callie has,” Lexi says gently to Fee.
“We’ll make a dinner plan when everyone is healthy?” Fee suggests.
“We would all love that.” Lexi squeezes her hands.
They have a brief whispered conversation and share a hug before Fee heads for Roman.
“Thanks for coming with Fifi. It means a lot,” Lexi murmurs as Fee leans over the back of the couch, hugs Roman from behind, and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
“I’m glad I could help,” I say honestly.
“We’ll have you over for dinner when everyone is in good form,” Lexi promises.
“I’d love that,” I say, and mean it. Hopefully, by then I’ll be Fee’s real boyfriend.
I plan to be honest with her on the drive home, but when we get in the car, she folds her hands together and bites her lips.
“Fee?” I touch her shoulder.
She raises a finger, then claps a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob.
“Hey, hey.” I slide my hand under her hair and curve it gently around the back of her neck. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”
“I’m sorry,” she says from behind her hand. “I didn’t…I can’t.”
“Don’t apologize. Come here, let me take some of that weight for you.” I lean over the center console and hug her as best I can.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbles against my neck.
“Please don’t be.” I stroke her hair. “I’m glad you feel safe enough to cry with me, and I’m sorry it hurts right now.”
“I just miss them so much, Mac. Especially on days like this.”
“I can only imagine. But you have me, okay?” I want to be the person she relies on. The one she comes to when she’s sad, and happy, and everything in between.
“The grief just comes in these big crashing waves sometimes.”
I cradle the back of her head in my hand. “I’m here. I can be your life jacket.”
“Thank you for being such a good friend, Mac.”
“Always.” I just hope that’s not all I am.