Chapter 26
MAC
“You were good out there today.” Brody pulls his shirt over his head, smoothing it out before he runs a hand through his damp hair.
“Thanks, I’m happy about the assist."
Gage claps me on the shoulder. “It was a great setup.”
None of the guys know I’m spending extra time on the ice with Fee, and I want to keep it that way.
It’s not that they’ll rib me for it. If they knew, they’d want to get on the ice with me, or Brody might call in a favor from his brother, and I don’t want to be the guy who takes advantage of his friends.
It’s different with Fee. She understands why I want to level up on my own.
I'm not quite where I was last season, but it’s a definite improvement.
I finish getting dressed and shrug into my coat.
“You guys want to grab something to eat?” Chase asks.
“I can always eat,” Gage replies.
“I have class in half an hour, and it’s on the other side of campus.” Brody shoulders his backpack.
“You want a ride over?” Chase flips his car keys around his finger.
“I wouldn’t say no. It’s balls cold out today.”
They look to me. “You in?”
“I’m heading to the art studio to see Fee.” She invited me, and I feel like it’s a special privilege to see her creation space.
“You two are pretty serious, huh?” Gage observes.
“I’m really into her.” I've never been this connected to anyone before. It’s a little scary, but I like it.
“I can drive you in that direction if you want.”
“Sure, yeah, that’d be great.”
The four of us pile into Chase’s car. He drops Brody off, then me. I duck into the café across from the art building first. Enid is working the cash register, her long, red hair pulled up in a ponytail and tucked into a baseball cap with a Blaze Café logo.
She greets me with a smile. “Hey, Mac, how’s it going?”
“Good. How about you?”
“Oh, you know, hopped up on too much caffeine because the coffee is free, otherwise good. What can I get for you?”
“I’ll take a regular latte and a caramel one for Fee.”
Her smile widens. “You’re stopping by the studio?”
“Yeah. Has she been in recently?” I don’t want to over-caffeinate my girlfriend.
“Like three hours ago. She has a big project for her fine arts class that’s due at the end of the week.”
“Yeah, she said she was planning to spend the day working on it. I figure I could bring her something to drink. Food might be a good idea, too.”
“She’s a huge fan of the prosciutto, brie, and blueberry sandwich,” Enid informs me.
“I’ll get her one of those, and a butter tart.” She loves those, too.
“Perfect. Anything for you?”
I order a BLT, pay for everything, and wait for my order.
A girl I’ve talked to at some of the hockey parties takes the spot beside me. “Hey, Mac.”
She asked about the hockey gala and I told her, like so many others, that I’d keep her in mind. I feel bad about that now, especially since I had no intention of ever asking her to go. “Hey, Kerri. How’s it going?”
“Good. Busy. Second semester is kicking my butt.”
“It can be a lot,” I agree.
“Especially when you’re playing competitive hockey and juggling a full load of class. You still dating the Terror assistant coach’s sister?”
I frown. “My girlfriend’s name is Fee, and I’m dating her because I like her, and not for any other reason.”
Her eyes flare, and she raises a hand. “I didn’t mean—”
“Why not just ask if I’m still dating the same person, then?” My name is called, so I don’t have to stick around and listen to her defend herself. “That’s me. I’ll see you around.” I grab the bag and the tray with the coffees, and wave at Enid as I leave.
The brief, unpleasant conversation with Kerri is still rolling around in my head when I enter the studio.
Fee’s station is set up in the corner by the wall of windows.
She’s wearing a long-sleeve oversized white button-down covered in a rainbow of paint splotches, and a pair of equally colorful baggy overalls.
Her long, blond hair is pulled up in a messy bun on top of her head.
A streak of pink paint runs from her ear down the side of her neck.
She’s shoeless, and her socks are rainbow striped with the Tilton Blaze logo on them.
The canvas in front of her is nearly the same size as she is.
The central focus is a couple in motion, moving toward each other, their emotions fanning out behind them in a pixelated rainbow that grows increasingly vibrant and saturated.
It’s stunning and one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.
It also reminds me of someone or something I can’t quite put my finger on.
“Hey! What happed to hockey practice?” She sets her brush down and rushes over to greet me, stopping before we collide. “Oh! I don’t want to ruin your jacket with paint splotches.” She pushes up on her toes and kisses the edge of my jaw.
“Fair, and I was at practice, but it’s over, and I don’t have classes this afternoon, so I brought coffee and food.” I hold up the bag and the tray.
Fee tips her head. “What time is it even?”
“After three.”
“Oh gosh. I completely lost track of time! I’ve been at it for hours already.”
“You good to take a break?” I ask.
“Yeah. Absolutely. How was practice?”
“Good. I've been a lot smoother lately.” I glance at her painting. “Am I allowed to check that out?”
“Of course.” She sets the coffee on a small table with two chairs and drops the bag next to it before shrugging out of her paint splattered shirt, leaving her in a T-shirt and overalls. “There’s still a lot of work to be done, but I’m getting there.”
I move in closer, absorbing the details.
The rendering is next-level, the shading and depth make it look as though the couple is about to step out of the canvas, but it’s the rainbow of color streaming out from behind them that leaves me speechless, because it’s not just pixelated colors like I originally thought.
Each dot is a tiny letter, spelling out an emotion that repeats and becomes more vibrant and saturated until it fades on the wind: love, hope, fear, need, desire, comfort, safety.
“This is freaking incredible, Fee. Like wow.” I make the mind-blown gesture. “I knew you were talented, but this is next-level.”
She rests her cheek against my shoulder for a second, then rubs it with her fingers, checking for paint. “Thanks. I’m sure my sister will have lots to say about it.”
“Why’s that?”
“Her nickname for me is Big Pheels, with a ph. It’s even my contact name in her phone.”
“That’s cute.” I smile.
“For a while it felt a little too real, but now I like it.”
“Because of your parents?” I ask softly.
“Yeah. My feelings were too much to handle for a while. I died my hair black and dove right into a solid emo phase, complete with The Cure’s Disintegration playlist on repeat.
But I have some space and distance from that now.
” She motions to the canvas full of bright colors.
“I always miss them, and I doubt that will ever change, but it doesn’t hurt the same way it did when I first lost them. ”
I shrug out of my jacket, let it fall to the floor, then tug my hoodie over my head, so I can fold her into a hug.
“What about your shirt?”
“I have lots of T-shirts, don’t worry about this one.” I settle my cheek on top of her head. “I can’t pretend to know how hard it must have been for you, or how difficult it still is, but I think it's brave of you to channel all those feelings into beautiful art.”
She tips her head back, eyes soft and watery, a faint smile on her lips. She settles her paint-splattered hand against my cheek. “You are the sweetest.”
“Just speaking my truth.” I squeeze her, and she squeezes back.
We stand there for a while, just holding each other, as I revel in her warmth and take in her painting. There’s something so familiar about it. It’s probably just the style being echoed from the hoodie I’m obsessed with wearing.
Her stomach rumbles, breaking the quiet.
“Rude,” she grumbles.
I laugh. “Someone’s hungry.”
“The bag of animal crackers I ate several hours ago tasted good, but the satiating factor is pretty low.”
“I brought you a sandwich.”
Her eyes flare. “Really?”
“Yeah. I know you’ve been here since your morning classes ended. I figured it wouldn’t hurt.” I’m aware that Fee can lose track of time and forget to eat when she’s creating.
“Boyfriend of the year award goes to you. Let me just wash my hands.” She kisses me on the cheek and heads to the sink on the other side of the room.
I unpack the bag, setting out our containers and we sit down to eat.
“Oh my gosh, this is my favorite!”
“Enid was working the cash register,” I explain.
“She knows I can’t resist the brie and blueberry combo. This was really thoughtful. Like super sweet, Mac.”
“Everybody needs to eat, and I wanted to spend time with you.”
Her expression softens. “I really like you.”
“I really like you, too, Fee. I wish I’d told you sooner.” The semester is almost half over and I don’t know what my summer looks like yet.
“We’re here now, and that’s what counts.”
We dig into our sandwiches and Fee quickly polishes off half of hers. “Do you want to try this? It’s really good.”
“Blueberry and prosciutto?” I give her a skeptical look.
“Just try a bite.” She passes me the second half.
I take a tentative bite and chew, groaning as the blueberry and brie burst across my tongue.
Her eyes light up. “Good, right?”
“I was hesitant, but it’s really good,” I agree.
“Like better than you’d ever expect.” She props her chin on her hands. “You can finish it if you want.”
“You only have a quarter left, though.” I motion to the mostly eaten sandwich.
Fee reaches for it. “I can never finish the whole thing, and you’re a hockey player with a bottomless pit.”
“This is not inaccurate.” I take another bite, groaning again.
Fee’s smile grows wider. “It gets better with every taste, doesn’t it?”
“Kind of like your lips,” I reply.
Fee throws her head back and laughs. “That was a spectacularly well-timed line.”
“It’s not a line if it’s the truth.” I grin.
“Ugh.” She holds a hand up. “Stop with the dimple! It’s so unfair.”
I grab her hand and kiss the palm. “I’m glad you came up with the fake-dating ploy.”
“You came up with it!”
“You told that girl I was your boyfriend.”
“Because you couldn’t finish a bite of food without getting hit on.”
“It was pretty frustrating, huh?”
“Especially because I’d been sitting across from you all year. At least we have the rest of the semester.” Her eyes dart away, a hint of sadness passing through them.
“What are you doing for the summer?” I ask.
“I’ll be local. It would be great if I can get a job on campus, or at a gallery or something.”
“Is that what you want to do when you graduate? Work in a gallery?”
“Pie in the sky? I’d love to have an installation in a gallery.
But I’d have to get comfortable putting my art out there, and that can be daunting.
And it can take time to build up a portfolio that galleries want to feature, so I’ll need a nine-to-five gig, but on the side, I’d love to create for other people until it’s my full time.
” She bites her lip and peeks up at me from under her lashes. “Sometimes I draw stuff for Cammie.”
“Oh yeah?” I lean in. “What kind of stuff?”
She ducks her head and looks up at me from under her lashes. “I illustrate some of her spicy scenes.”
“Really?” I’ve read Cammie’s stuff and it’s…explicit and stimulating. “I’d love to see some of those.”
“I can show you, later. Some of it is pretty spicy, fair warning.”
I waggle my brows. “I can be pretty spicy.”
“I know. I like it.” She drops her gaze. “What about you? I don't want to make assumptions, but are you hoping to get called up?”
I tap on the edge of the table. “It’s the dream, but a lot of careers aren’t always long, and if I’m not a top player in the league after five years, I could be looking at shifting gears so I’m glad I have my degree to fall back on.
” I want to ask her how she feels about a long-distance relationship, but it feels too soon to navigate that.
“The degree is smart.” Fee props her chin on her fist. “Imagine you, Brody, and Chase on the same team.”
“That’s a one in a million chance but it would be so cool,” I agree.
“You guys are amazing when you’re on the ice together.”
“Thanks.” I glance at her painting. “Maybe one day you’ll let me watch you create.”
She bites the corner of her lip. “I could draw you.”
“On the ice?”
“I mean sure, but also off it.” She tugs on the end of her ponytail.
“I’m not shy.” I push back my chair. “Let’s do it.”
“Here? Now?”
“You’re already set up.” I motion to the painting across the room.
Her eyes spark, and a devilish smile tips the corner of her mouth. “Yeah, but for the sake of shadowing and contour practice, I want to draw you shirtless.”
I arch a brow. “And you can’t do that here?”
Her eyes flare in mock horror. “When just anyone could walk in and see you in all your shirtless glory?”
“You don’t want anyone else ogling the goods?”
She shakes her head. “I want you all to myself.”
“I love it when you get all territorial.” I extend my hand and she slides her fingers into mine so I can pull her out of her chair.
“I had to spend all of first semester retracting my claws.”
“Same.” I kiss the end of her nose. “Let’s go home, so you can take my clothes off.”
She grins. “Say less.”