Chapter 29
FEE
“How would you feel about getting the blueberry brie sandwich, and I’ll get the coronation chicken wrap or the multigrain BLT so we can go halfsies?” Mac asks as we approach the campus café.
I hug his arm. “It’s like we share a brain.”
He leans down to kiss me. “What else are we thinking?”
“That we should also get a slice of their German chocolate cake for dessert.”
“But if they’ve already run out—”
“—because it happens often—”
“—we can get the death by chocolate mousse cake,” we say at the same time.
I make half a heart with my fingers and Mac mirrors the movement and we touch them to each other while laughing.
“We’re so extra.” Past me would have rolled my eyes at us, but I love how close Mac and I have become since we made this real.
“We’re giving Cammie and Chase a run for their money.” Mac’s dopey smile mirrors my own.
I’ve never been in a relationship with someone who feels like my best friend.
We finish each other’s sentences. He knows what I’m about to say or ask before I even ask it.
I’m definitely in deep with Mac and it’s both scary and elating.
We’ve been dancing around the topic of his future plans after graduation, skirting the edge and then shying away.
I don’t want to bury my head, but I also don’t want to ruin the flow.
Mac holds the door open and ushers me in ahead of him. Enid is working the cash register and waves at us. We’re ahead of the lunch rush, so we don’t have to wait long to order.
“Let me guess, blueberry brie.” Enid points at me, and then at Mac. “And the multigrain BLT, extra B, and the very last slice of German chocolate cake.”
“Are we really that predictable?” I ask.
“Yes,” Mac and Enid say at the same time.
“Do you also both want the caramel latte?” Enid punches in our order.
“I’m going cinnamon today to be different.”
“And you’ll probably switch halfway because you miss your caramel, but it’s your call.” Enid glances between us.
“Just let her have the cinnamon and her unpredictability.” Mac winks.
We pay and glance around, looking for a free table. “Brody’s in the corner.” I tip my chin toward the black logoless baseball cap pulled low.
“Let’s go say hi." Mac laces our fingers.
I frown as we approach and whisper, “Do you think he realizes he’s reading upside down?”
Mac squints. “Oh, man.”
He tugs me with him and snatches the book from Brody’s hands.
“What the hell?” Brody tries to grab it back.
“Bro.” Mac gives Brody a look.
Brody lifts his hands in a gesture that belies his previous question.
Mac flips the book around. “I know you have some special talents, but I didn’t realize reading upside down was one of them.”
Brody’s face turns an exceptional shade of red as he snatches the book back. “Fuck you, dude.”
“Don’t be a creeping creeper, man. Just ask her out,” Mac says quietly.
“Easy for you to say when you haven’t fucked it up already.” Brody shoves his book in his backpack, slings it over his shoulder, fires the bird at Mac, spins around, and leaves through the back entrance of the café, abandoning his half-finished sandwich and coffee.
“That was telling,” I muse.
“I don’t get it.” Mac runs a hand through his auburn hair. “It’s pretty damn obvious to everyone that they have a thing for each other.”
“I guess they’re not ready to deal with it.
” Brody is a great guy, generous, fun to be around, a solid friend, and a talented hockey player, but he has some serious baggage.
Cammie’s older sister is married to Brody’s middle brother Nate, but they went through a rough period because Nate has some deep-seated abandonment issues.
Their mom left when they were kids, and Brody was only four.
He hasn’t seen her since the day she walked out on them.
That would leave deep scars. It’s different than losing a parent to an accident.
Mine are gone, but they didn’t leave me on purpose.
“He’s been pining for four years,” Mac grumbles.
“Hopefully they figure it out before they graduate.” I point to the half-finished sandwich. “Should we get a to-go box?”
“Yeah. I can bring it to practice.”
We set our backpacks on the chairs, and I grab the mug and silverware, putting it in the appropriate bins before we return to the pick-up counter, where our meals wait.
Enid glances between us. “Did you tell Brody he was reading his book upside down, then?”
“Yeah,” I say.
Enid nods. “Figured. In his defense, it had only been inverted for like, five minutes.”
“Could’ve been worse.”
“Yeah.” She sighs. “You need a takeout box for his sandwich?”
“That’d be great,” Mac replies.
She reaches under the counter and passes him one.
“Thanks.”
“No problem. If Brody comes back, I’ll tell him you have his food,” she offers.
Mac and I tuck ourselves into Brody’s abandoned table. I cut one of his BLT halves in half again and pass him half of my blueberry brie sandwich before we dig in.
“How’s your art piece coming along?” Mac asks.
“I should finish it tomorrow.”
“Really? Can I come see it?”
“Yeah, for sure.” I smile and sip my latte. “And once that’s out of the way, I'll work on your portrait piece again.”
Mac’s eyes light up. “Will you need me to pose again?”
“I took reference photos, but I do love a live model.”
“I’ll get shirtless for you anytime you want.
” Mac’s dimple pops, then his expression grows serious.
“Have you thought about submitting a piece for the spring art show?” He taps the poster on the wall next to us.
The café routinely boasts posters advertising various performances and arty things.
There’s one for Tally’s dance showcase on the wall behind Mac.
She has one every semester, and it’s cool to see her on stage.
I stab a slice of tomato that fell out of my BLT with my fork. “I don’t know. It’s pretty competitive.”
“But you’re super talented. What would it hurt to at least submit an application? How cool would it be if your piece was chosen to be part of a campus installation?”
“Art is really subjective. It’s like…personal? I guess. I just think about all the flack Cammie got when Annabelle and Barbie outed her fic name.”
“Sure, but look at all the new followers she has. She’s low-key famous in that sphere. Seriously, Fee, you should consider submitting a piece. The worst they can say is that you should try again next year.”
It’s easy to put things out there when I’m anonymous, but it’s more than that. “I haven’t submitted anything for an art show since my parents passed.”
“Oh.” Understanding causes sadness to settle behind his eyes and he takes my hand. “Does it bring up a lot of memories?”
I nod and swallow past the lump in my throat.
“My mom used to be the one who helped me get ready for them. I did them every year with my school and then with my art classes. It was this special thing we did together, and I know I should get back into it, but it just...hits a really raw place in my heart?”
“That makes sense.” He kisses the back of my hand. “But I’ll be there to support you, and so will Lexi and all our friends, however you need us. We don’t have to replace the memories, we but we can make some new ones to help it hurt a little less?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Okay.” He leans across the table and kisses me softly.
Yeah, I’m definitely falling for him.
We finish our meals and talk about the upcoming game against U of T. Tilton beat them the last time they played, so they’re hoping for another win.
After lunch, Mac walks me back to my apartment and I stop at my mailbox. “Oooh! I have a package. I wonder who it’s from!”
“Hopefully not a secret admirer.” I can’t tell if Mac is joking.
We stop at the mail desk and wait in line.
Mac scans the bulletin board while we wait.
“Oh shit!” He rushes over and pushes a few tacked up papers boasting upcoming events aside to reveal one of my secret posters.
I put it up late last night. He carefully frees it from the board and brings it over.
“This one is brand-new.” His eyes move over the poster.
“I’m going to add it to my wall when I get home.
You should do something like this. People would love it. I’d love it.”
I laugh, but it’s a little high and reedy. “In all my spare time?”
Thankfully it’s my turn and I pass over my mail slip in exchange for a small box. Mac tucks the poster into his binder. A thrill of excitement rushes through me when I notice a few of my stickers on the inside cover.
“Who’s the package from?” he asks after he tucks his binder back in his bag.
I scan the address label. “It’s from Kristoff.” At Mac’s deepening frown, I explain further, “Lexi’s dad.”
“Oh, cool.” His brow smooths out and his shoulder relax. “Are you close?”
“Not really? He’s nice, and Callie likes him, but he’s…
not super present? He’s a big lawyer in New York.
He and my mom divorced when Lexi was young.
He remarried a woman named Jacqueline who’s also a lawyer and they’re basically workaholics.
He’s come to a couple of Terror games every season, but he usually ends up working through them.
Occasionally he sends gifts.” I shake the box, then pick at the tape until the end comes free.
“It’s how he shows he cares. I used to get frustrated with him, mostly because I felt bad for Lexi.
She had to do everything on her own. She wasn’t close with our mom the way Callie and I were, and Kristoff is always busy with work.
But she has Roman now, and we’re part of the Terror family, so that feels good, you know? ”
“It really hasn’t been easy for any of you, has it?” he asks.
“Every family challenges.” I shrug. “I have great sisters and awesome friends, and this big extended found-family, and a super cool, very sweet boyfriend, so I think I’m doing okay.
” I open the box and pull out the gift bag.
Inside are the paint markers I’ve been drooling over for the past few months.
“Holy crap. These have been sold out everywhere.” I hug them to my chest. “They’ll be a game changer when I render your portrait. ”
“How did Kristoff know you wanted them?”
“Maybe Lexi or Callie said something?” I take a photo and shoot him a quick text to thank him and follow it with an excessive number of excited emojis.
“Maybe it’s a sign,” Mac says.
“A sign for what?”
“That you should submit a piece for the art show."
I’m scared to put my stuff out there for everyone to see and critique, but I can’t achieve my dreams if I don’t take a chance. “It does seem like the universe is pointing in that direction, doesn’t it?”