Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Autumn
For several minutes, I simply wander around this magical room, taking everything in. It’s overwhelming. Everything about Mace and this new reality I find myself in is overwhelming. When I add that to the fact I’m also dealing with a tremendous loss, it’s a wonder I’m able to remain upright.
I should be catatonic, perhaps curled up in a ball in the corner, rocking back and forth. But I’m strong. And I may be young, but I’ve had plenty of years to know my mind.
I don’t take his bossy, confident propositions lightly. It’s important that I consider my options here. He says he doesn’t care what age range I prefer, but flipping around from one to the next to try them out seems excessive.
My mind is not wishy-washy. I’ve been reading books on this subject and exploring my sexual responses for years. Maybe not every fantasy I have needs to be acted out, but a lot of them do.
And just like that, I’m a free spirit, ready and willing to give myself to a man. Two days ago, this wasn’t on my radar, but that’s because I only had googly eyes for one, and he wasn’t in Indianapolis. Now I’m in his home, in Seattle, where I’m apparently staying.
It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the thought of actually living here permanently. Granted, I just graduated from college and haven’t grown roots in Indiana. I’ve been taking my time, looking for the right job.
Or was some strange twist of fate keeping me from moving forward because I was meant to be here, with Mace, instead of living in my father’s house?
Taking a deep breath, I force the deep thoughts out of my head and aim for the bookshelf where I saw the art supplies. Coloring has always been cathartic to me. I find an adult-coloring book with intricate designs, grab the colored pencils, and head for the table and chairs.
In minutes, I’m lost in my picture. It’s relaxing to let myself focus on each tiny hole that needs to be filled in. One at a time.
I’m startled when I hear voices. When I look up, Blade and the woman who must be his Little girl are entering the room with Mace. I’m immediately intrigued because she’s dressed younger than me.
I’ve never interacted with anyone I knew was Little. This is a first, and I’m nervous.
Mace introduces us, “June, I’d like you to meet Autumn.”
I stand. Being polite is ingrained in me. My father often had military buddies over. I was always a good hostess, even from a young age.
June has brown hair that’s in pigtails behind her ears, and she’s wearing a pretty dress that looks appropriate for a Little who prefers to play at about five years old. But maybe that’s just her style.
The dress is navy and short. She has matching leggings and navy ballet slippers on. She’s very pretty and looks younger than thirty, but that could be because of how she’s dressed.
Blade is holding her hand, and he speaks first. “Good to see you, Autumn. And again, I’m so very sorry about your father. I promise my team will do everything in our power to catch whoever murdered him and see that justice is served.”
Justice… When he says that word in an odd way, I know he agrees with Mace. They are out for blood.
“Thank you,” I remember to say. I’d rather argue that they drop this charade entirely. A part of me would prefer to move on with my life. I don’t need Mace and Blade hunting down a murderer and erasing him from the Earth.
It’s not that I feel sympathetic toward the asshole. May he rot in hell. But I don’t want Mace taking risks for me. I just got him. I don’t want to lose him because he went off to hunt bad guys and got himself killed.
I know he thinks he’s invincible, but no one is.
June wiggles free of Blade’s grip and comes toward me. It sort of surprises me when she envelops me in a hug. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers.
I get choked up as I return her hug. This feels nice, and it occurs to me that I don’t really have close girlfriends. If I were at home, dealing with my father’s death, I would be alone. I don’t know anyone my age well enough for them to come over and pay their respects.
How pitiful. It just sort of happened. For one thing, I lived at home while I went to college. All four years. My father encouraged me to move into the dorm my freshman year, but I didn’t want to.
My father and I have been each other’s person since I was young.
We rarely had an argument. Living with him was easy.
He didn’t treat me like a child when I was in college.
He didn’t set curfews or lecture me about drugs or alcohol.
He didn’t have to. Like he always told people, I’m an old soul.
Partying never appealed to me. Drinking was never on my radar. Acting like a fool wasn’t, either.
How long have I been old? As long as I can remember. Is that why it appeals to me to be Little? Maybe.
When June steps back, she points toward the page I’ve been working on. “I love to color. Can I join you?”
“Of course.” I nod toward the chair opposite mine.
She twists to look at Blade. “Is that okay, Daddy?”
He smiles at her indulgently, his gaze never leaving her. He adores her. It’s obvious. “Of course, Little one. Stay in this room while Mace and I meet in his office.”
“Yes, Sir.” She pulls out the chair and plops down, her pigtails swinging.
Mace comes to me as I resume my seat. He tucks a finger under my chin and looks into my eyes. “Unless one of you needs to go potty, I expect you to sit right here, at this table, understood?”
Instantly, I clench my thighs together. That’s the most controlling thing he’s said to me. It’s not one word that has some command in it. He’s issuing me an order. I don’t think I’ve breathed since he spoke.
When he doesn’t move, I finally nod.
He lifts a brow.
I lick my lips as strange tingles cover my skin. I’m embarrassed to be bossed around like this in front of someone I just met, but my face heats and my pussy pulses. It’s a bizarre combination that confuses me.
June is obviously Little, so I have no reason to think she will make fun of me for submitting to Mace. She’s doing the same thing to her own Daddy. She even asked for permission to color. Who does that? Littles, apparently.
Mace doesn’t back away. He’s waiting for me to respond, so I finally find the will to whisper, “Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl.” He kisses my forehead.
Blade is standing close to June, and he strokes a hand down one of her pigtails. “Were you listening, Little one? Don’t move from this chair.”
“Yes, Daddy.” She’s not snarky or sassy when she speaks.
When the men disappear through the adjoining door and pull it almost closed, I find myself staring at the spot. “Are they always this intense?” I ask almost absently.
June giggles. “Worse, usually. They’re probably holding back for your sake.”
I turn toward her. “I’m new to all of this.”
She shrugs. “That’s okay. We all start somewhere. How long have you known you’re Little?”
“About four years.”
“Have you ever had a Daddy before?”
“No. I’ve never done anything about my feelings. I kept them buried inside me.”
She winces. “That must have been hard.”
“Not really. I didn’t know better. I didn’t have anyone to open up to about my kink. I didn’t expect I ever would.”
“Daddy says you’ve known Mace for a long time.”
“Yes. He was a good friend of my father’s.” I suck back a small sob.
June reaches across the table and covers my hand with hers. “I’m so very sorry,” she tells me again. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I only know as much as Daddy told me, but I can tell you that Black Blade Protection is an amazing agency. They will figure out who killed your father.”
I shudder at the thought. “I’m not sure I want them to. I don’t like the idea of Mace going after a murderer. What if something happens to him?”
“Nothing bad will happen to him, I promise. These guys are the best of the best.”
I take deep breaths.
June extends her other hand so she can hold both of mine in the middle of the table on top of the coloring books and pencils. “Tell me about your Little,” she says.
I know she’s distracting me from my fears, and that’s okay. I need to focus on something other than the possibility of Mace being in danger.
I swallow. “I don’t know her well yet. I’ve never let her out. Everything I know is from the internet and reading romance novels.”
She giggles. “Romance novels will make you swoon.”
Smiling, I nod. “Yeah. They do.”
“Do you want to ask me some questions? I don’t mind. Sometimes, it helps to realize you’re not alone.”
That’s so kind of her, and I have a million questions.
“It can be easier to have a girlfriend to talk to than just a Daddy.” She scrunches up her nose. “I mean, Daddies are men. They don’t always understand.”
I already love June. “How often do you, uh, spend time being Little?”
“Most of the time. I prefer to stay in that headspace. The only time I usually let my adult out is when I’m working.”
“You work?”
“Well, from home. I teach English, mostly to students in Japan. We have online classes.”
“Oh, wow. That sounds exciting.”
“It’s fun. I enjoy it. No pressure. Since I no longer have to worry about paying rent or keeping the heat on in my apartment, I’m far less stressed. I teach because I enjoy it. What do you do?”
“I just graduated. I have an early childhood education degree. I was in the process of interviewing at various places. I guess a job in Indianapolis is no longer practical.”
“So, you like to work with kids. Me, too.” She grins.
I shrug. “I guess it’s fun for me. My dad says…” I look down at our combined hands and take a deep breath, “…said… He said I like to play with children because I never really was one. He always said I was born an adult. Maybe I got it backward and started out old, and now I’m getting younger.”
June is still smiling. “That makes sense. Maybe that’s why you have a Little side. If you bring her out, you get to do all the things you didn’t when you were younger.”
“It’s kind of silly. It’s not like I couldn’t do what other kids were doing. I just didn’t. I think it was partly because it was just me and my dad.”
“Where was your mom?” she asks gently.
“She died when I was five. A fluke aneurysm. I only have fleeting memories of her.”
“I’m so sorry. And now your dad…”
I pull my hands free from hers to dab at the tears leaking from my eyes.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I shake my head. “You didn’t. I mean, I cry all the time at the moment. It’s like I’m raw and not fully grasping what’s happened.”
“Well, you have Mace now, and us. We’ll be your family. Wait until you meet Cannon and his Little girl, Eloise. She’s your age. You’re going to love her. They live across the hall from you.”
After one more sniffle, I try to shake off the sadness. It’s not doing me any good. I want to forget and enjoy my time with June. “Thank you for being so kind.”
“Oh, girl, Littles are, by and large, kind people. You’ll see.”
“I’ve never known anyone who was Little before.”
She holds up a finger. “Or… You didn’t know they were Little.”
“True.”
“Now, what other questions do you have?”
“Mmm.” I tap my lips. “Do you have a room like this in your house?”
“Yep. So does Eloise. It’s pretty common to have a place you can go and be your inner Little.”
“Is your, uh, Daddy super bossy?”
June rolls her eyes. “Very bossy. It must be in the Daddy handbook. I think it’s also common for Littles to like a strong, bossy Dom. It’s like something happens to me, sort of like a trigger or whatever, when Daddy orders me around.”
I nod. “Yeah, I’ve noticed that for me, too.”
“Totally normal. I guess I’m really submissive deep inside. I like having someone else make most of the decisions and controlling me. It’s oddly freeing. And he’s super dominant, so we’re a matched set.” She beams, sitting taller.
“I’ve been fantasizing about Mace for so long.
I never thought he would find out I had a crush on him.
He’s so much older than me. I had no idea he had thoughts about being with me, too.
If my father hadn’t…” I swallow. “I mean, I wouldn’t be with him if it weren’t for my dad telling me to come straight here. ”
“I’m so glad you did. Mace will take care of everything. He’s brilliant. And, just to say, Blade is significantly older than me, too. Eighteen years.”
That does make me feel better. I glance toward the nearly closed door. I can’t hear a single word the men are saying in there. I’m sure they’re being careful to keep us from listening in. “Mace sure has a lot of computers.”
June giggles. “Yeah. He’s a bit of a computer geek. Did you see his candy stash yet?”
My eyes widen. “Candy stash?” Somehow, I can’t picture Mace eating candy. He’s rock solid, for one. Not an ounce of fat on him.
“M&M’s. I think he has an addiction.”
“Really?” I chuckle.
She nods. “He keeps them in his desk drawer. I don’t know if he has a stash here at home, but he does in the office upstairs.”
Interesting…
“Do you think it’s weird that he had this room ready for me before he had any idea I would ever come here?”
June looks around, smiling. “I always wondered if he had someone specific in mind for this playroom. Sometimes when we all come over, Eloise and I play in here while our Daddies meet to discuss work. Mace never admitted to me or Eloise that he knew a particular Little girl, but we figured.”
“Do you and Eloise use sippy cups and plastic plates and bibs and stuff like that?”
“Yep. All the things.”
I stare at her for a while. It’s a surreal experience, meeting someone who lives a life like the inside of a Daddy book.
I haven’t wrapped my head around the fact that I’m living that life, too.
I might need to pinch myself to decide whether it’s real or not.
I’m skeptical that any of this is really happening to me at all.
After glancing down at the coloring page I have not touched since June arrived, I twist to look at the shelf where there are other crafting implements. “Do you think we need markers or crayons?”
June shakes her head. “No way. I like my bottom just the way it is, thank you very much.”
We break into giggles. I just might like this new life of mine.