6 | The Message Mac
Past ~ 1 Month Prior
B rick is dead.
My club brother is dead.
I haven’t done well with death ever since my sister and auntie were killed. So, I’m well acquainted with it. We’ve had our fair share of club brothers pass, but we’ve had more than most these past few years.
I feel like every turn we make, we’re losing someone. We just went on a warpath, avenging our brother.
Pain and exhaustion have taken over. All I want to do is sleep. I lie in the hotel bed so exhausted I didn’t shower. I’m covered in blood. We took out a good chunk of the Chingas but haven’t gotten them all.
Everything has been a blur since the Chingas hit us at the clubhouse, killing Brick. Between looking for Raydene and the Chingas, I’ve gotten no sleep.
I lie here staring at the ceiling, extremely tired but afraid to fall asleep since the nightmares of my sister have intensified. All the killings, interrogations, and not knowing where Raydene is are taking a toll on my subconscious.
“Mac.” I look over and see Ray standing in the doorway.
“What the fuck?” I bolt up to a sitting position, looking around the empty room.
Wait? I wasn’t alone when we came back to the hotel. Where is everyone?
“Mac,” she says louder, not moving from the doorway.
I must be dreaming.
I try to stand up but can’t.
“Ray, come to me,” I say, reaching for her.
“Big Mac.” I snap my head and see my sister sitting on the other side of my bed.
No, no, no…this can’t be happening. Wake the fuck up!
I shake my head, but when I look up, both girls are sitting on either side of my bed.
“What do you want?” I ask them both.
“Big Mac.” My sister’s voice echoes through my head, but her lips don’t move. She just smiles.
Wait, if I’m seeing Raydene and my sister, does that mean Raydene’s dead?
I start to panic.
“Are you dead?” I ask Raydene.
She smiles. “Come find me.”
What the hell?
“Where? I’ve looked everywhere,” I plead with her.
Maybe she’ll send me in the right direction or give me a hint.
“Help me find you.” I try to reach for her, but she’s too far away, even though she’s right beside me.
“Mac, watch out for her,” my sister says softly.
Tears escape my eyes when I ask, “Is Ray the girl?”
She smiles her beautiful, sweet, innocent smile. “Watch out for the girl with two faces.”
Fuck! Tell me something else. I feel my body start to panic, and I try to calm down. When she’s in my dreams, I panic and begin to chase her, but this is different. I’ve never had anyone else in these dreams.
I smile at my baby sister. “I will, sis. I promise to watch out for her. I’m trying to find her now.”
Maybe they will tell me something new if I try to go around this.
“You need to find her—” Raydene says, her words fading like she’s being cut off.
No, no…don’t leave. Find who? I don’t understand.
I’m in a dream-like state. The next thing I know, they’re standing in the doorway together, holding hands.
Stop! Don’t go .
Fading away, Faith says, “Mac, she needs you.”
As Raydene whispers, “Come find us.”
Us? What the fuck?
And then they’re gone.
NO! Fuck! Come back!
“Mac!” a demanding male voice booms next to me.
I try to fight free to go after the girls.
Two large hands grab my shoulders, giving them a shake.
“Wake the fuck up!” another male voice shouts.
“Hold him down,” the first voice orders.
When I snap open my eyes, Wolfe and Cash come into view. Cash is holding me down with Wolfe next to him. Both have worried looks on their faces.
My body instantly stills, falling back onto the bed.
“Mac, you good brother?” Cash questions still holding my shoulders.
I can only get one word out, feeling defeated. “No.”
Cash lets my shoulders go, sitting next to me on the bed.
Wolfe sits on the bed across from us and asks, “Another Faith nightmare?”
My uncle Wolfe knows all about my nightmares since his wife, my auntie Fay, was killed with my sister. We both have been through hell and back, so he knows what I’m going through.
I nod and move to sit up. Cash gets up, moving to the foot of my bed, giving me space.
They give me a few minutes to get myself together. Cash lights up a joint, taking a big inhale before handing it to me.
I take a couple of hits, hoping the weed does its job and relaxes me.
I exhale, handing the joint to my uncle, and explain, “They’re getting worse.”
“What do you mean?” Cash asks.
At the same time, my uncle, sounding shocked, asks, “Worse?”
I don’t want to tell them about Raydene and Faith. They already think I’m crazy for chasing her when she’s got a man. My gut has been telling me something’s wrong, and now this dream.
“I have them every time I close my eyes. I feel the more blood we shed, the more I hear her in my head.”
I only tell them half the truth and leave out the part where I’m also hearing Raydene’s voice now.
“I’ve seen you struggling,” my uncle states, blowing smoke into the air. “Do you think it all stems from this girl or all the bloodshed we’ve endured this past year?”
I shrug. Because honestly, I don’t know.
“I haven’t had this many of them since right after the accident,” I confess.
When they both don’t say anything and only stare at me, I continue, “Usually weed or drinking keeps them away.”
Wolfe huffs, “Well, at least you get that break. Foxy comes to my dreams often.”
Cash laughs. “Yeah, but those are wet dreams, brother.”
We all laugh.
Cash is just like me. We can always lighten the mood in any situation. I hate that I’m the one that needs cheering up.
“You probably need some pussy. How long has it been?” Cash chuckles but is entirely dead serious.
I think this is the longest I’ve ever gone without sex.
Thinking, I lean my head back against the headboard.
“It was the night we returned from the sit-down, and Dallas confronted Doc. I took this little brunette home.”
I smile, thinking of her sexy ass bending over, but when I see the looks on their faces, my smile halts.
“What?” I ask.
“You mean to tell me you never fucked Ray? All that time you spent with her, and you didn’t hit it?” Cash asks, sounding completely shocked.
“Nephew…” Wolfe drawls. “You mean you’re hooked on this bitch, and you haven’t even been with her?” He pauses. “I mean, I would understand if she rocked your world, but nada? What the fuck?”
They are both still waiting for me to reply. No one knows we did nothing besides messing around like two teenage school kids.
“We fucked around, but no, we didn’t fuck,” I declare. “She had a boyfriend,” I finish, thinking that’s going to help my case, but they both bust up into full belly laughs.
“Get the fuck outta here!” Cash bellows
“Like that’s ever stopped you before.” Wolfe laughs.
I get up frustrated. “Fuck you both. She was cool. We hung out and talked.”
Okay, now I would even kick my own ass. Man, I sound like a little bitch.
They both continue to laugh.
“Go back to your own room if you’re going to make fun of me.”
They have an adjoined room with me. Blink is gone with Chiv and Vi, so I’m rooming alone until Shy and the guys come.
“Brother, you need some pussy. Like right now. Fuck this…” Cash pulls out his phone.
“No!” I shout, trying to grab his phone. “I can get my own pussy.”
Cash laughs. “I better see you get pussy in the next twenty-four hours, or I’m calling in the recruits to handle that shit.”
“No wonder why you’re pissy, gloomy, and stressing the fuck out. You need to release some of that.” Wolfe chuckles, leaning back on the bed, taking a hit off the joint.
My mood shifts a bit lighter. These two men have been my rock since birth, along with my father and Hawk. I don’t know where I’d be without them.
“I will, but right now, I need a fucking shower and some more of this,” I grab the joint, “and this,” I grab the bottle of Jack Daniels off the table and head toward the shower.
“And jack yourself off,” Cash bellows behind me.
I flip them off before shutting the bathroom door. Hearing them laugh, I can’t help but laugh.
I definitely need to take care of myself. They might be right. I’m all wound up.
Time to get busy!