Chapter One
Two months later
It’s been a long two months. Jumping from trucker to trucker is the only way to stay safe, but constantly being on the road is wearing both me and the kids down. Even the couple of times we have stayed at a hotel waiting for our next ride have been exhausting.
I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
Looking back at my sleeping children, I take a deep breath.
This is worth it. I’m doing all of this for them.
“You okay, hun?” Bertha, our most recent truck driver, asks.
“Being on the road is a lot. I don’t know how you all do it,” I admit honestly.
She shrugs. “You get used to it after a while.”
I nod, looking back out the window. After a few minutes, she speaks again.
“What are your long-term plans?”
Isn’t that the million-dollar question? The truth is, I left on a whim. I hadn’t made any long-term plans. I left because my son begged me to. I couldn’t stay a moment longer.
“I don’t know,” I admit
“Do you want to settle down somewhere?”
“I would love to settle, but my husband…” I swallow the lump in my throat. “He has connections. If I stop, he will find me. To be completely honest with you, I feel like he is a ghost chasing us. I worry at every stop he will catch up, and when he does…”
“He’s not a good man,” she says, not making me speak the words.
“No,” I whisper.
“So you stay on the run forever?” she asks.
“I have some money to keep us going, but not forever. I guess I am playing a losing game. Either he finds me now or in a few months. Either way, he will find me. I have no way to stop him.”
We go quiet once more. I get lost in my thoughts.
I’m failing my children. I am supposed to keep them safe, but how can I when one of the people who is supposed to love them is the one who wants to hurt them? What am I supposed to do?
If he ever catches up with me, he won’t hurt me right away. No, he will likely already be building a case against me. I can’t come up missing, otherwise it would look suspicious on him. He’s smarter than that.
No, he will have a plan in place. I’ll die from an accident, or maybe he will let me live, but he will take the children. It wouldn’t take too terribly much to convince a judge that I’m an unfit mother. I think that would kill me more than him actually killing me.
“Do you trust me?”
The question is so sudden that I have to turn and look at Bertha.
“I do,” I admit.
Trust isn’t easy to come by, but so far, these truckers have been my heroes. None of them have tried to harm us in any way. I trust them as much as I can trust someone.
“I have a possible solution. It’s going to seem a bit crazy, but I need you to know I wouldn’t propose it if I thought it was dangerous.”
I nod. “Okay. I’m all ears.”
“I have a brother. He isn’t quite on the right side of the law. He’s not a bad guy, but he doesn’t always do the best things. He is respectful to women, though, and he will treat your children well.”
My eyes widen. “I can’t go live with another man. I’m sorry. I understand you are trying to help, but I can’t. I won’t.” I look back out the window.
“You wouldn’t be living with him. I only meant he would protect you.
He has a rental home that is available. Your main problem is that you can’t settle down without the sperm donor finding you.
” I smile at her nickname for Evan. “My brother would be willing to rent it to you under the table. It would give you a place to figure out what to do next and give you some stability.”
“So…no paper trails,” I murmur.
“Exactly. Besides, if for some reason you are found, he would protect you and the kids. He and his brothers.”
I frown. “How many brothers do you have?” I ask her.
She laughs. “Just the one, but he has many he considers brothers. All of them are good men. He wouldn’t be friends with them if they weren’t.”
I’m not sure, but the temptation of being able to be still for a little bit is almost too much.
“Think about the kids,” she whispers. “It would give them a chance to have a little normalcy. You don’t have to decide now. The offer will always be there. You can call me at any time, even if you’ve already moved on.”
“I don’t have a phone,” I mumble.
“Well, we will have to solve that now, won’t we?”
I look over at her and study her.
“Why would he want to help me? I don’t want to get into some pimping situation.”
She chuckles. “If you knew my brother, you would think that statement is hilarious too. Absolutely not. No strings attached. He’s simply a good person who would help you out of the goodness of his heart.”
I look back at Tanner and Emily. I really hate keeping them on the road like this. It breaks my heart seeing how anxious they have been—Tanner especially. He saw far more than I thought he had. I hate that I couldn’t protect him from it all.
“Okay. I’ll take it,” I say, accepting the offer.
“Good. Next stop, I’ll give him a call and let him know we will be there in a few days.”
“Where does he live anyway?” I ask.
“Pensacola, Florida. Ever heard of it?”
I shake my head. “No. Florida? Isn’t that a three-day drive? I thought we were going to Boston?” I ask.
“I will still be going to Boston, after a slight detour. Don’t worry, darling. We will get you all taken care of. Hey, the kids might even like the beach.”
I think about how different it will be from Portland. I can’t believe we have already made it across more than half the country, and now we will be settling down on the other side of it.
It is surreal.
I only hope it’s far enough out of his reach.
“You sure you are up for another run?” Smoke asks me for the third time.
“I know it’s Gunner’s turn, but he and Sloane got that car thing that weekend. I’ll take his shift. It’s no big deal,” I tell him as if I haven’t already told him this twice before now.
“One of the other brothers can fill in, or, fuck, I could. I don’t want you taking on so much. You seem to be all work these days.” He studies me as I take a sip of my bourbon.
He’s not wrong. I followed Smoke to Pensacola because Boston never quite felt right for me. Something always seemed like it was missing. On the road, I always knew it wasn’t right because we needed a home. Now that we have settled, though, I still don’t feel right.
I can’t admit that to him, though. He would encourage me to get back on the road. Go visit other chapters. Find the place that feels right to me.
I don’t want to leave the men I consider my family, though. So as much as I feel unsettled, I won’t leave this place. Like it or not, this is home.
“I like work. It keeps me busy. We can’t all have a beautiful woman to come home to each night. Some of us have to play up the lifestyle the locals expect from us—boozing and women and all that.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “The others do plenty of that, but what about you? When was the last time you were down at Wild Greg’s?” he asks.
I roll my eyes. “You know I don’t like going downtown.”
“Mac…” he says, warning in his tone, but my phone goes off, saving me.
“Oh, it’s my sister. Sorry, I should take this. You know she never calls.”
He grimaces, but nods because it’s true. My sister barely calls.
I walk away from him, stepping outside the clubhouse to take the call.
“What’s up?” I answer.
“What’s up with you, kid? I haven’t seen you in ages.”
“Roberta,” I growl.
“Don’t be using my government name, Colin.”
I snort.
“Fine, Bertha. What can I do for you?”
“I can’t want to call and chat with my only baby brother?”
“I swear if you keep calling me that, I will punch you.”
She gasps. “You would hit a woman? Now, brother, that isn’t nice.”
“No, I wouldn’t hit any woman, but my sister? Absolutely. How many times have you nut checked me growing up? I figure I still have a few owed paybacks yet.”
She laughs, making me smile. I might not talk to her much, but fuck if I don’t love the girl.
“Maybe a couple,” she reluctantly admits.
Sensing she won’t come out and say what she wants, I play her game.
“How’s life on the road? Find anyone special?”
She sighs. “Nope. The road isn’t a place for love. You know that. What about you? Settling down with any of those…what do you call them? Sweetbutts?”
“I don’t mess with club girls. You know that. I don’t like being tunnel buddies with my brothers.”
“God forbid,” she says, over exaggerating.
“Not that I don’t love to hear from you, but what the fuck do you want? It’s like two a.m. here, so it can’t be much earlier, no matter where you are.”
“Why do you always want to rush to business?” she asks.
“Because every single time you call me, you need something. So did you get in trouble? Do I need to send a club to come help you out? Is some asshole trying to swindle you out of your money again?” I ask.
“It’s not like that. Jesus, make a girl feel like a burden.”
I rub my hand down my face. “Never. You are never a burden, and I will always take care of you. You know this. I’m only worried. The longer you hesitate, the worse I think it is. Tell me, so I can fix it for you.”
“Always a kind man.” She takes a deep breath. “Do you still have that rental property?”
I frown. Last year, I bought the house next door to me. I wasn’t sure what to do with it, but I have been fixing it up to rent out. It’s almost done, but not quite yet.
“Yeah. Why? Do you need a place to stay? Are you tired of the road?” I tease.
“Never. You know I am a traveler at heart. No, I was wondering if you would rent it to a single mom and her two kids.”
“I mean, I could, but why? What have you gotten yourself mixed up in?” I ask, skeptical now.
“I’m not in anything. There’s this kind woman who was abused by her ex. She needed to get out and has been using the trucker network to travel around the country. She needs a place to lie low off the books, if you get what I mean. Somewhere safe.”
I groan. “I don’t want to get caught up in some domestic bullshit.”
“Colin, she’s not even thirty yet and looks like she has aged significantly in the last two months.
Her children are eight and five and are more used to being on the road than in a real bed.
They play so quietly in the back most of the time, I don’t even realize they are there.
They never fight. Never make a peep without me prompting them. They are only children.”
My heart hurts at the image she has painted. We never had the best childhood, but we had parents who cared. We fought like cats and dogs. We were always rowdy, even when our parents were yelling at us to keep it down.
To know these children have experienced something so traumatic that they don’t feel like they have a voice has my mouth moving before my brain can fully process.
“All right. Bring them here. They can stay as long as they need, but if he comes looking, it’s not up to me. It’s up to the club if we get involved,” I warn her.
“I know. You have to put it to a vote and all that. I suggest you do it soon because I don’t know who she is married to, but she is so certain he can find her that she hasn’t slept more than a night or two in one place. That doesn’t sound like some low-life wife beater to me.”
I tilt my head back with my eyes closed.
No, that sounds like trouble with a capital T, but there’s nothing I can do now. I already agreed to it.
“Understood. Just get them here, and I’ll have the place ready.”
“Thanks, Mac. I appreciate your help on this,” she whispers.
“I know. I love you, and you know it, but do me a favor. Stop picking up strays. I can’t save everyone who tugs at your heartstrings,” I say, teasing her once again.
“Ronald was a very good dog who was taken too soon. You loved him too.” She huffs, talking about the road dog she adopted over a decade ago.
“Ronald was like seventeen and lived a long, full life. Take care of yourself. Be safe out there.”
“I will. See you soon.”
As she hangs up, I look back at the clubhouse. I know I need to tell them, but I don’t feel like it right now.
No, now I need to make one more call.
Dialing his number, I wait for him to answer.
“Crow, I need to borrow a crew for two days.”