Chapter 7
Her blood rushed heavy through her veins. Her heart was going a mile a minute. The feel of his warm lips making their way to her neck made her shiver. His hands slid under her shirt and up her back. They were hot, the palms rough and big.
All he had to do was dip a hand inside her shorts and she'd go off like a firecracker.
And that scared her, the intensity she felt, the swift and surprising rise of it.
Lucy broke the kiss, her hands on his chest. Ian's heart hammered hard and strong against her palm. They stared at each other, speechless, breathless, dazed.
After a moment, he reached up and grabbed her hands at his chest and held them there. "This is the second time you kissed me," he said with an easy smile.
"You started it."
His grin deepened, and Lucy was struck—the way his eyes crinkled at the corners and lines cut through his cheeks. God, he was sexy. And so solidly built she wanted to strip him naked and run her hands all over him just to see for herself.
Overwhelmed, she looked away and drew in a deep breath. When she returned her gaze, Ian was watching her with a quiet expression. His hands still held hers. She wanted to pull them away, didn't want to be close to him, didn't want to get any more involved.
As if sensing her withdrawal, he released her and returned his shoulder to the wall. "I have two questions," he said.
"Okay."
"First, what the hell was with that outfit?"
Lucy burst out laughing. "Liked that, did you?"
"Was mesmerized. All those colors and patterns…"
"It did have a weird hypnotic effect." Her outfit had been so bad. Beyond bad. She must have looked ridiculous when he'd found her. "Well, just so you know, it wasn't my idea."
"Neither was taking your cousin's place."
Lucy made a face at him. "I'm working on saying no to people…
Just remember that." Ian arched a brow at that.
"It was Grace Lindsey," she went on. "The lady you had meet me at the airport.
She took me shopping and I couldn't exactly say no.
Well, I guess I could have. She just seemed so happy with her choices in clothes… "
Ian winced. "Sorry. She lives near the airport and is a very good friend of my uncle's, and offered to help out. Usually she has a bit more style than that, though."
Thunder clapped, making the house shake.
With the fire and their conversation, Lucy felt more at ease than she had been in months.
She was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Ian, and how interesting it was getting to know him.
She was fast becoming a fan of his humor and the smiles that came along with it.
"And the second question," she asked as he stared out the window in deep thought.
Ian looked at her, really looked at her. "The first time… Why did you kiss me?"
Lucy put her head in her hands. "Really?" She dropped her hands. "That's your question?"
His smile was naughty and incredibly hot. "That's my question."
Her first inclination was to close herself off and start doubting.
She had nothing of value to say, nothing witty or interesting.
He'd think her emotional and ridiculous.
But last night, she'd taken a chance, she'd opened herself up to a possibility.
So why stop now? Why retreat back into her safe and lonely world?
Lucy scooted to sit cross-legged on the mattress, facing Ian.
"All right. Well . . . I did it for a lot of reasons.
" She bit her lip, trying to put her thoughts into words.
"My cousins, Riley and Kate—they're family, but they're also my best friends—they'd tell you I'm the dreamer of the bunch.
I am, was, in a lot of ways. Just not so much when it comes to men and relationships.
So I guess I was testing myself, taking a chance, seeing if I could be spontaneous again and stop being .
. . afraid. That probably sounds stupid. "
"Not stupid at all." Thunder boomed. The windows rattled.
Ian eased his shoulder away from the wall and paused, waiting for the sound to stop.
"Bad experiences can change a person," he said, distracted, looking a little pale.
"Can make you protect yourself from being hurt again.
It takes courage to reach out and try." She wondered if he was speaking from experience too.
"But," he continued, "you left out the other reason you kissed me. "
"The other reason," she repeated, not following.
"Your extreme attraction to me."
Lucy blinked.
"I was shirtless. And I'm pretty sure it pushed you over the edge."
She took one look at his twinkling eyes and laughed. "That was so not the reason." At his raised brow, she admitted, "Okay, fine. It was part of it, but I wouldn't call it extreme."
"Ouch."
"You're attracted to me, too, by the way."
"I am. I'm not afraid to call it extreme either."
Her pulse leapt and she didn't quite know how to respond to his honesty.
The thunder came in again, sounding like the storm clouds had parked right over the cottage. The windows shook. Ian tensed, the smile dying from his eyes. Every time a crash sounded, he flinched.
"So does that happen often?" Lucy asked the first lame thing that came to mind.
"What?"
"You know, strangers coming up and laying one on you like I did. That sort of thing."
"Sometimes."
"Really?"
He shrugged. "There are some women who always hang around the bars near base. They're into men in the military, want to take you home and show you a good time." He flinched again as lightning cracked nearby.
"And do you go?"
He leveled haunted blue eyes at her. "Sometimes. When you're on leave for a short time and haven't had anything soft and welcoming for months on end… Yeah, sometimes you take what's offered. Depends on the woman and the situation."
When a lightning strike landed close to the cottage, they both jumped.
Her heart pounded. She didn't mind storms, but that had been a massive bolt.
Sweat beaded on Ian's forehead, dampening his hairline.
As he swallowed, she could see his pulse through the vein in his neck.
He was terrified. And it didn't take a genius to figure out why.
Those sounds brought back enough horrific memories to last a lifetime, she was sure.
Her heart gave a painful squeeze. This big, solid man had demons, ones he was trying like hell to fight.
"No serious relationships since getting out?" she asked, trying to keep the conversation going, hoping it would help.
"No time," he said. "I inherited the estate right after."
"It's a lot of work, what you're doing. A big place to run. The guest house, the farm, the cottages… You must really love it here."
He nodded. "Everyone back home, except my mother, thinks we're crazy for not selling.
My brothers and I have a lot of good memories here, our roots are here too.
Someday I want my kids to have their own memories here like I did.
I want others to come," he continued, "to unwind and find a little peace, you know?
That's one of the reasons I wanted Dev to come and work on the cottages. "
"He was in the military too."
"Yeah. We saw a lot of shit, lost friends," he shook his head, unable to find the words to go on. "This place, the land, I want it to help him like it's helped me. It'll help Jamie too when he's ready to leave."
Lucy wasn't cold, but she shivered anyway and rubbed her arms, knowing he'd notice, knowing he'd be the kind of guy to care.
"Cold?"
She nodded. She wasn't really, but something inside her wanted to be closer, to hold him, to give him comfort and someone to hold on to.
He patted the mattress beside him. "Come here."
Lucy scooted over and snuggled against his warm body as he drew the blanket around them, holding him tightly and hoping it eased his anxiety. His heart hammered and every time a loud thunder clap or lighting strike came, he held her a bit tighter and told her it was okay, that it'd be over soon.
Ian MacLaren was a good guy, the complete package. And it terrified her.
As the storm drifted away, she relaxed. She was close to Ian's neck and could smell the scent of his skin. She breathed in deeply, thinking she could definitely get used to this.
God, I could get used to this, Ian thought, resting his chin on the top of Lucy's head.
He was exhausted, the storm zapping his strength. Annoyance went through him at his reaction. It was just a damn storm.
And yet, it wasn't.
Any loud bang or crash caused his blood pressure to soar, his hands to tremble, and his adrenaline to go haywire.
He hated the feeling. The sudden punch of panic.
The cold sweats. But he dealt with it, just like everything else.
Only this time, holding Lucy, her holding on to him, blunted the sharper edges and made him feel grounded, kept him in the present.
He knew he was in Scotland. He knew he was here in this room, and not back there, in a sand-colored hell.
The memories were there, the images replaying in his mind, but the smells, the smoke in his nose, the tang of blood, the hot metal, they were faint this time, overrun by a woman's warm breath against his neck and the feel of her in his arms.
The only thing that remained of the storm now was the far off thunder and the soft drizzle on the roof. They'd have to leave soon. But not yet. He eased against the wall, pulling Lucy more tightly against him.
The wisest thing would be to head back to the Rover. He had too much going on right now, too many responsibilities to start something with a woman who was only here for a week.
She snuggled closer. Her breasts pressed against his rib cage.
Screw wise.
This felt too good and too right. It had been a long time since he felt content like this. He hadn't thought he'd relate to her in any way or so quickly, but he had. She'd swept into his life like a hell-raising wind. And damned if he didn't end up liking it.