Chapter Twenty
Lottie
Lottie lay in the bed as she waited for Nathan to return from the front of the house.
She smiled to herself as she thought about how Nate couldn’t seem to stop touching her over the course of the evening.
Every excuse he had to put his hands on her, he did, and even the times where it wasn’t explicitly necessary, he at least had a hand on her leg or his arm over her shoulder, claiming her for the whole town to see.
The fact that they’d come into the house without even securing it before rushing off to the bedroom was just more proof of how caught up they’d become with one another, and she reveled in every minute of it.
Muffled footsteps on her soft carpet warned her of his presence, and Lottie gazed over at the door, happy to see him even after only being apart for a few minutes.
“Did you get lost or something?” As she studied his face, Lottie saw that instead of a smile or even a knowing smirk on his face, Nate’s expression was one of hurt and distrust as he squeezed his eyes closed. “Nathan?”
When Lottie’s eyes suddenly snagged on the paper in his hand, the familiar letterhead of her financial adviser visible in the dim light of the room, she gasped and shot up in the bed.
Apparently so used to being alone, Lottie had been careless enough to leave her paperwork out where anyone could see it.
Before she could say anything, Nate’s eyes were focused back on her, the blue hard as steel and just as cold.
“Care to explain this?” His voice was low and icy, and it sent a shiver of dread up and down Lottie’s spine.
Lottie panicked, wishing she could go back in time and tell him everything before he had the chance to discover it for himself. Patting the seat next to her, she tried to smile, but it wouldn’t come. “Sit next to me and I’ll tell you everything.”
Nate shook his head, his skin draining of all its color.
She’d known him his whole life and even the one time he’d had the flu and tried to come to school anyway, he didn’t look nearly as stricken as he did in that moment.
“I need to stand.” When Lottie scooted toward the end of the bed to be closer to him, he shifted slightly, one of his feet literally moving out the door of her bedroom.
“So Citizens for a Brighter Applewood? That was you?”
Knowing she had exactly one chance to get this right, Lottie took a deep breath before she started.
“Yes, that was me. I wanted to donate to your campaign but you were financing that yourself with the help of your family and I didn’t think you would accept money from me anyway, so I set up an account under another name to be able to help you out. ”
Nate leaned against the doorjamb, his head hitting the wood before turning to face her. “But you didn’t donate to my campaign, you donated to the town. Why?”
Lottie bit her lower lip and shrugged helplessly.
“I had every reason to believe that you were going to win, and you were so passionate about the town square project that I couldn’t stand the thought of you running into financial roadblocks or having to run a whole other campaign to get the town’s voting approval for the funds, so I donated the money with the specific caveat that it be used for your project.
” Lottie smiled weakly at him as she watched the gears turn in his mind. “I just wanted to help you, Nathan.”
Nate sighed and shook his head. “I feel like up is down right now.” He wiped a hand over his face before looking at her again, his expression no less hard than it had been. “How do you even have this much money, Lottie?”
Lottie panicked. Nate never used her nickname, even when he was so mad at her he could spit nails or was barely speaking to her, he only ever referred to her by her full name.
Between that and the way his voice cracked, Lottie knew she must have really stepped in it.
He was putting distance between them again, and she couldn’t let that happen.
“Does it matter how I got it?” She argued.
When he didn’t answer, Lottie sighed and waved her hand around the room.
“The same way I got everything else. Joanna. Her husband was some sort of stock market whizz and after she left it all to me, I put it in a money management account and have been living off the dividends.”
A slow whistle sounded from Nate’s pursed lips.
His expression was getting harder and harder for her to read, and that frightened her more than anything else.
Lottie had always been able to read Nate, but right then she couldn’t tell which way things were going to go, only that they needed to be resolved quickly or they would be back to where they’d been a month ago.
“Were you ever going to tell me?” The pain laced through his voice was so evident she could have tugged at it like a string, something she would have done if it meant he would just come to her.
Lottie gulped, trying to meet his eyes but finding it difficult when they felt heavy with guilt. “Yes,” she rasped. “I was just waiting for the right time.”
Nate scoffed. “There’s no better time to come clean about something than the minute you know you need to.”
Lottie’s eyes shot to his. The words, while true, stung worse than the tears that gathered in her eyes. “That’s a helluva thing to say to the one person you’ve spent the last decade lying to about how you feel about them.”
Nate jut his chin out defiantly. “That’s different,” he said, having the gall to look self-righteous. “You deserved better than me. I was trying to protect you.”
Lottie rose from the bed, unable to take the distance between them any longer.
“What’s changed? I’m the same person I always have been, Nathan, only now you know exactly how far I’m willing to go to help you achieve your dreams and yet here you stand, still pushing me away.
” What his mother had told Lottie came back to her and she grabbed at the sides of his open jacket, knowing she had to help him see that even though she hadn’t told him about it before, the money she’d donated didn’t have to upend his worldview. “I won’t let you this time.”
Nate shook her off and backed away from her, literally illustrating the accusation she’d just thrown at him while not allowing her to keep him there.
“The dreams I had were mine to achieve alone if that’s what I wanted.
This...this is too much.” His fingers raked through his hair, causing it to stick up at odd angles.
“I thought I had the whole town behind me. I thought that everyone believed in what I wanted to accomplish, but it was only ever you.”
The paper Nate had been clutching fell from his hand and onto the floor as he stalked from the room, Lottie struggling to keep up with his long, quick strides. “It was never just me. It was your whole family and yes, a good chunk of the town too. So what if the money was only ever mine?”
Nate rounded on her, the look on his face so pained that it made Lottie’s chest ache.
“Did the town ever even want me as their mayor? Or was it all because you wrote such nice things about me?” He looked down at the floor, his head shaking in disbelief.
“Did you even mean everything you wrote in your newsletter or was it just another way to help me?”
Lottie reared back, feeling as if he’d slapped her.
“How can you even ask me that? Of course I meant them. I’ve always meant every word I have ever said or written about you because I love you.
” She gripped the front of his jacket again, wanting to shake some sense into him.
“And the town voted for you, Nathan. It’s not like I stuffed the ballot box. ”
Nate gripped her hands, but instead of holding them, he let them drop to her sides.
“Maybe not, but the posters in the windows of every business, the people showing up to my events after telling me they couldn’t come.
You helped convince them. Hell, I’m sure there are at least a few dozen people that you persuaded to vote for me when they wouldn’t have otherwise.
” His head shook angrily as his eyes teared up.
“It was supposed to be mine, Lottie. I’ve wanted this since I was a little boy and it was supposed to be mine. ”
“It’s still yours.” Shaking off her words, he turned toward her front door, Lottie rushing after him.
Tears streamed down her face earnestly as she searched for anything she could say that would make it better.
“Please don’t do this. Please don’t push me away again.
” Lottie grabbed at his shoulder only to be shrugged off. “I love you, Nathan.”
Nate’s shoulders rose and sank with a heavy sigh.
“I love you too, but that’s the problem isn’t it?
” He peered at her over his shoulder. “I love you too much to let you find the person you deserve, and you love me too much to let me do something on my own because you don’t want to watch me struggle. ”
Lottie opened her mouth to dispute him, but nothing came out. She never wanted to see him fail, something he would rather do entirely on his own than win with any help from her. “I don’t want you to go.”
Nate looked like someone was thrusting a knife into his back as he gazed at her, brushing one of the tears from her cheek. “I can’t think straight. My head’s a mess. I just need a little space.”
Lottie nodded, sniffling as fresh tears fell down her face. “Forget your head and listen to your heart, Nathan. Please, stay.”