Letter Twenty-Nine #3
“No. I’m the asshole here. I didn’t want to hurt either of you, but that only led to me hurting you both.
So I have to tell him everything—that I lied about me and you, that you know he’s your brother—so there are no more secrets between you guys.
I need to step back and allow you to work out your issues with each other.
Not as friends—as brothers. This is the push he needs to tell John the truth—and I need your help. ”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Michael, he’s your brother. Put your jealousy aside, stop being a dick, and do what’s best for your family—what’s best for your dad. No one can help Casey tell the truth better than you can. It has to be you.”
Michael shook his head. “Look at all the drama he’s caused. He’s part of the reason my dad’s moving out—because Nic promised to keep this secret for him, and my dad’s had enough.”
“Doesn’t matter. You met Casey’s adoptive dad. You know why it’s so hard for him to open up to John. So you’ll do this for him.”
“Nah,” said Michael.
“You’ll do it.”
“No, I fucking won’t.”
“You will!” I grabbed his hand again and squeezed it hard.
He tried yanking it away, but I held on, digging my fingers into his palm.
“You’ll do it because you’re a good person.
Because your dad deserves to know he has another son.
Because John has always been there for you, and Casey deserves that, too.
You might be an asshole sometimes, but you’re not that asshole.
You’re not someone who would keep two members of your family apart over some petty girl drama shit. You’re so much better than that.”
“Petty,” Michael whispered. “That’s all it is.”
With his hand still caught in mine, he fell back against the couch, completely crushed, and it crushed me, too. I’d just destroyed the version of our story he’d built in his head. The one where he eventually got the girl. Because I chose him.
“I’m sorry,” I said, knowing it would never be enough. “Not just for lying—for letting you believe there was still a chance. And for being too afraid to tell you there wasn’t.”
“You let me think I had a chance more than once,” he reminded me.
“I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry for that, too.
You make me feel safe. You love me despite everything I’ve done, and it’s because you love me so unconditionally that it felt impossible to let you go.
But our dads are right—we’re better off as friends.
Best friends who need to move on from the past. And that especially goes for me. ”
“Right,” he said, still staring ahead, withdrawing his hand from mine.
I hated what I’d done to him, hated how it would change our friendship, hated hurting him at all. Again.
But it had to be done.
I could only hope that someday, at some point in the near future, he’d be able to forgive me for this, too.
“I plan to tell Casey everything soon.” I stood, smoothing my hands down my thighs. “I know you’ll do what’s right, Michael. You always do.”
I’d told Michael the truth.
I needed to tell you next.
But every time I opened my mouth to try, something stopped me.
The timing didn’t feel quite right. Or you were leaving the room. Or Bree had come over to ask for help with her homework. Or you were taking a call from Claire.
Days passed.
Then a week.
And then Nic texted his plans to stay in New York one night. That night. The one that changed everything.
I’d finally gathered the courage to tell you—you could yell all you wanted, but you couldn’t leave the house without Nic there, you were stuck with me—so I’d come downstairs, heart thudding like crazy, ready to bare my soul and beg for your forgiveness. Just like you wanted.
But I stopped short at the sight of Bree, sitting with Garland, curled up with a book in one of the wingbacks.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, hands curling into fists.
Bree flipped a page without glancing up. “Casey says we need to make up. He asked me to stay over until he gets back later tonight.”
“Fuck that,” I said, backing out of the room, my heart sinking at the thought of you leaving. “I’d rather be alone.”
“What if you have another panic attack?”
“That’s a risk I’m willing to take,” I said over my shoulder as I headed to the kitchen. But just inside the kitchen doorway, I halted again. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Sienna, that conniving bitch, was bent over my counter in a skimpy red dress, tapping away at her phone. She pushed off the marble with a poisonous smirk that made my pulse race. “Nice to see you, too, Elliot.”
“My dad says you aren’t welcome here.”
Sienna made a big show of glancing around. “Well, I don’t see your daddy anywhere. So how’s he going to stop me?” She bit her bottom lip—cherry red, matched perfectly to her dress—and sashayed closer. “Casey and I are going to a party together.”
Together?
“Not like that, sweetie.” She perched a hand on her hip. “Or maybe,” she said, teeth flashing. “He might need someone to comfort him after he sees that picture of you.”
My stomach twisted. “What’s your deal, bitch? Why are you so obsessed with me?”
“You fondled my boyfriend. Broke us up. Slept with him and lied about it. Sent me to the emergency room. And now Michael’s done with me for good. You think I’d let you get away with all that?”
“You think I’ll let you get away with showing Casey that picture? After what happened to your eye?” I took a step closer to her. “I will fuck you up.”
She cackled at that. “Game on, bitch.”
“I—”
You walked in, clutching your phone, a jacket draped over your arm. “Listen, I’m about to head out. Bree promised to sort things out with you. Don’t give her a hard time, yeah?”
“No, you listen.” I grabbed your wrist and dragged you into the hall, pulling you far away from Sienna’s prying ears. “I need you to stay home, okay? We need to talk.”
“I have plans.”
“It’s important,” I begged. “Please.”
You slipped your arm into the jacket. “It can wait until I get back.”
“Why are you even hanging out with her?”
“We’re friends,” you stated, and the casualness with which you could say so—the blatant disregard for my feelings, for everything she’d done to both of us—stung.
“She tried forcing you to sleep with her, Casey.”
“What’s the worst that could happen? She’ll use and discard me?” Your jaw ticked, your gaze locked on mine, piercing straight through me. “Been through that.”
I flinched, searching your face, desperate for a crack. A tiny sliver of softness. But there wasn’t any to be found. “Please don’t go.”
“Where was this urgency before? You made me wait weeks, Elliot. You can wait a few hours.”
You strode into the entry hall and Sienna followed, slipping past me with a wink, holding her phone like a loaded gun.
My heart pounded as you held the door open for her. She paused at the foyer mirror, checking her red lipstick with a hum of approval.
“Nate will be there,” she said, tossing you a wink. “He specifically asked if you were coming.” Her gaze met mine. “You should come, too, Elliot. Dip your toes in the crimson water.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“It’s at the Phoenix House,” she added, dabbing at the corner of her mouth. “Behind Mt. Auburn? With the ivy-covered gate and the creepy bust over the door? They’re calling it a ‘literary bacchanal.’ Whatever the hell that is.”
That bitch was baiting me.
You stepped forward. “She’s staying here.”
“Why?” she asked. “Scared she’ll cause a scene?”
“She’s staying,” you repeated, eyes on mine. “To sort things out with Bree.”
My heart dropped. “But Casey—”
“Let’s go,” you said, placing your hand at the small of her back. The point of contact, though harmless, gutted me.
Sienna tossed a grin over her shoulder, waggling her fingers at me. “See you around, Elliot.”
As you walked out together, I rushed to the dining room window. Watched you open the car door for her. Watched Hal ease away from the curb.
And I knew—if I didn’t follow, she’d beat me to the truth.
“Fuck!” I yelled, turning on my heels, heading straight for my phone. I swiped it off the hall table.
Bree, now propped against the wall with her arms crossed, asked, “Why are our dads fighting over you?”
“This isn’t the time, Bree.”
“My dad asked my mom for a separation.”
With shaky fingers, I looked up the address for this place Sienna had mentioned. The Phoenix House.
“He says he’s tired of the lies in this family, but my mom wants to know why he has to walk away from her, too—if Nic’s the problem. She doesn’t understand what the hell’s going on.”
I gazed up at the giant eye in the ceiling, feeling that crushing weight on my chest. I forced myself to take a deep breath.
“But I have a pretty good idea,” Bree said. “It’s because of you, isn’t it?”
“Bree,” I said, gripping my phone. “I have more pressing issues to correct right now.”
“The picture, right? Of you in Michael’s bed?”
I froze. “How do you know about that?”
“Sienna showed me. Right before Halloween. Asked me if I knew.”
So that’s why she’d been giving me the silent treatment since Halloween. Why she’d been cold to me for months.
“You lied to me when I asked if something was going on between you and my brother,” she added.
“When you asked me, it was over. It’s been over.”
“Then why are you so desperate to stop Casey from seeing the picture?”
I glanced down at my phone, where the address on Mt. Auburn Street had finally popped up. Got it. I just had to beat Sienna to the reveal. You needed to hear it from me—not her.
“Everyone’s a mess right now,” Bree said, “and it’s all because of you. Everything you touch breaks. Michael looked awful when I stopped by his apartment after school today. I’m not sure what you did to him, but you definitely broke his heart.”
I shoved past her. “I need to talk to Casey.”
Bree followed me to the kitchen. “How do you plan to do that?”
“I’m taking the Range Rover.” Nic kept the key fob in a drawer next to the fridge. Bree trailed after me as I yanked open the drawer and snatched it.
“To where? The party?”