Chapter 32 Riot
Riot
The mechanical bull got the best of me, bucking and whirling faster and faster while my hands got sweaty. But at least candy head enjoyed the show.
Dizzy whirls past me, almost knocking me off my feet. She’s wearing Ivy’s cat burglar mask, her bright hair flying out behind her.
She barely manages to avoid several people before she grabs the agent’s shoulder and spins him around.
He immediately reacts with tension and readiness, but no one is ever ready for Dizzy. She grabs his face with both hands and plants her mouth smack bang on his.
Well, shit. Tongue and all. I did not expect that.
And neither did the agent by the way he forgets how to react. His arms freeze mid-flail. His posture turns to stone.
Rebel and Burke stare like open mouthed fish.
She peels herself off him before anyone can react and runs back through the crowded barn, over a chair, and along a table.
She narrowly avoids full glasses and empty bottles before veering around Lincoln, who stops in her path, unaware of her antics.
With a check over her shoulder, she darts out through the back entrance.
The FBI agent stands immobilized.
West is also still. Too still. His complexion is flushed, a chilling yet familiar expression I’ve seen on both Rebel and Rogue glares daggers into the FBI agent’s back.
His fingers twitch at his side, as though searching for the weight of a weapon. Not for the first time, I wonder if my eldest brother might be capable of murder. He grew up as a Hawthorne, after all, and hates talking about himself, his life, or his work.
Then something changes. His posture softens. It sags. He prowls out of the barn and into the darkness.
The poor bastard is probably going to relive that moment a thousand times tonight.
If that were me, and it was Kelsey and not Dizzy, well, let’s just be glad it wasn’t.
“Riot?” Rochelle’s voice behind me grabs my attention. It’s nervous, but not nearly as frightened to death as it was a few months ago.
Witnessing her timid and vulnerable brought out my need to protect her for a while. It’s why I suggested we date. I was able to offer her all the protection of a relationship with whatever conditions she needed to put on it. Real. Fake. Or anything in between.
I was committed to following through until she decided she didn’t want or need me in her corner. At the same time, it got harder and harder to pretend I wasn’t aware of my feelings for Kelsey.
She looks better now. Healthier. There’s color in her cheeks. She isn’t scanning the room for danger. “You look good, Ro.”
“So do you.” She takes a half step in. Hesitates. “Really good.”
“It’s that rock star life.” And Kelsey. Fuck, she makes me happy.
She makes me want things I never considered before.
Shenanigans like tonight. A heavy rock on her finger.
A life beyond the band and music and touring.
Maybe I’ll buy her that puppy she was asking me about last night for her birthday.
Ro glances off to the side, where her bodyguard stands against the wall, before bringing her attention back to me. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” I wipe the sweat off my face with my shirt. “Go ahead.”
“Outside.”
Kelsey is still with Summer, Rogue, and Ivy. They’re laughing and scanning the room, probably for Dizzy.
“Yeah, of course.” I gesture for her to lead the way.
It’s quieter out here. There’s a blanket of stars across the sky that we don’t get in the city. An orb hovers and blinks out of sight. Burke says he sees UFOs out here all the time. “We’re not alone.”
“Huh?” Ro signals for her bodyguard to give us more space. “Better?”
“I meant the aliens.” I point at the sky, but the orb is already gone. “Never mind. What did you want to talk about?”
“Is this awkward. We haven’t talked since...” She rubs her hands up and down her arms.
“We haven’t.” I had to let her go and step back. It was brutal. “I wanted to be there for you, Ro. It didn’t have to be as your boyfriend. I will always be your friend. But you shut down on me. I kind of understood why you shut out Rebel, but me?”
“It wasn’t fair. I know. But I promise that wasn’t my intention.
I realized I needed to be strong enough to deal with the fallout myself.
I didn’t want to drag you into it publicly.
Your career was skyrocketing. I didn’t want to cause you any harm when you’d been so good to me.
I was sick of being the victim that needed to be protected. ”
God. That makes me want to hit something. That she had to feel like the problem because that prick hurt her. “You were the victim.”
“I was. But I can’t live my entire life stuck in my trauma. And I won’t. I refuse to let that asshole take any more from me. I’m in therapy now. It’s helping.”
“Good. I’m glad.” Watching her struggle was hell.
She grows silent. Scuffs the toe of her boot in the dust.
“What is it?”
She focuses those bright blue eyes on me. “Would you consider giving us another shot?”
She’s earnest and hopeful. I don’t want to cause her hurt. “Ro—”
“Could we go back to how it was?” Her focus on the bodyguard standing some feet away, she lowers her voice. “Not exactly how it was. I would like to want intimacy… and sex… again. I want to have control in the bedroom. Would you help me?”
“You know I would do anything for you.” I wrap my hands around hers and squeeze. That’s how we found ourselves in a fake relationship for months in the first place. “But I can’t be that guy for you.”
“Sorry I asked.” She tugs her hands free, curling in on herself.
“Why did you?” I grasp her elbow, though Tex starts when I do. “What’s going on?”
She placates him with a hand gesture. “Because I want to move on with my life. Alec... what he did... I can’t get close to anyone physically. I can’t trust anyone enough to date them. How am I supposed to move on? All I want to do is put him in the past.”
“So you figure you can tell me what to do and that will give you control?” It would have been a sound idea prior to me realizing Kelsey is the woman I want.
“I could have tied you up,” she says shyly.
My lips twitch. I’m not averse to being tied up by the right woman. Unfortunately for Ro, that’s not her. “Why don’t you ask your bodyguard?”
“Tex?”
“Yeah, Tex. In case you haven’t noticed, he’s paid to be at your command.” I drop my hand to my side as she gives him her attention. “You literally stopped him in his tracks with a hand gesture a minute ago.”
“Because that’s his job. I can’t ask him to…” her voice shrivels up, “have sex with me. He’s a professional bodyguard. He’s a weapon. Not a—”
“He knows your situation well enough that if you laid it all out for him, there’s a good chance he’d be willing to help.” More than willing is my hunch. “He’s already signed an NDA. Even if he says no, he’s not going to say anything about it.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
“You could hire an escort. Same principle, different guy. And then you have your bodyguard there in case anything goes awry.”
“It would be much easier with you.” She sighs. “So much less awkward and weird.”
“Trust me. It’s going to be awkward with anyone the first time. Me included.”
“I’ll think it through some more.” She leans up on tiptoe to hug me. She presses a quick kiss to the side of my mouth. “Thanks for the advice. I knew you’d be the right person to talk to about all this.”
I hug her back. “Any time.”
She lets go and neatens a few strands of hair behind her ear. “I’m going to head back inside.”
“Okay.”
Tex moves as she does, following close behind, past Kelsey who must have followed us out at some point, who is staring at me the same way she did when we talked about Sonatina’s dumb black panties.
“Hey,” Ro says, as friendly and oblivious as can be.
“Hey.” Kelsey’s reply is stonier. Her arms are wrapped around her belly.
Ro and her bodyguard disappear inside the barn.
“You’re kissing her too?”
“She kissed me.” I scratch my jaw. It was a peck on the cheek practically. It wasn’t like Ro was throwing herself at me. A few minutes earlier it would have seemed that way, but that had nothing to do with the ounce of affection in that peck. “It didn’t mean anything.”
“Of course it didn’t.” Her eyes water. She storms toward the house. “It never does when you’re a rock star.”
“What is your problem?” I catch up with her as she storms over the threshold.
“My problem?” Her breath hitches.
So does mine. That was the wrong way to put that. “Yeah. What is going on with you?”
“With me? You’re the one collecting kisses like they’re guitar picks.” She stares up at me with hurt in her gaze. “You’re the one not making it obvious to your ex that you’re with someone else now.”
“It’s not like that. You know it isn’t.” I tug at my hair as she stomps toward the bedroom.
“I’m not sure about anything anymore.” She starts to close the door.
“I’m here with you. Just because I haven’t told anyone yet doesn’t mean it’s not real.” I push the door open and hold it in place. “It’s you and me, candy head. Always has been. Always will be. You know me. Trust me.”
“I do.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“I’m...” Her cheeks hollow. “I’m...” She looks like she might vomit.
“Kels.” I need to touch her.
“I’m not sure you want this. Us. I’m not sure you didn’t refrain from telling Ro about us because you’re not ready for this. I’m not sure that you aren’t enjoying having the pop princess chasing after you.”
“That’s not—”
My phone rings. We both glance at the screen.
“You better answer that,” Kelsey says as she marches deeper into the room.
It’s as if Sonatina has bugged me. “Damn it, what does she want?”
“You.” Kelsey shoves a pillow into my chest. “You need to figure it out. You’re either in a relationship or you’re not. You’re either my boyfriend or—”
Ultimatums are bullshit uttered by insecure people. Kelsey has never been one of those people. “Or what?”
“You’re not.” She closes the door in my face, and the lock clicks.
Leaning my forehead against the panelling, I aim for calming breaths. “This is ridiculous, Kelsey.”
Fuck.