Chapter 29
Kelsey
Istare at the ceiling above me as it becomes visible in the gray predawn. It feels like I’ve been staring at it all night. Barely able to sleep. Stuck lying on my back, because my ankle is still puffy and tender. But it’s not as bruised as my ego. Or as sensitive as my heart.
Riot’s reaction to Sonatina tripping me and busting my ankle during Summer and Rebel’s ceremony still stings. Furious doesn’t begin to cover the emotions I felt toward him as he chose to protect her like I’m the problem.
The argument we had after was the worst we’ve ever had. In all our years as friends he’s never talked to me the way he did last night. And I’ve never agonized over every second of our conversation all night long.
That woman is coming between us, and he either can’t or won’t see it. Or worse, he wants her and he’s trying to convince both of us he doesn’t. Or worse again, and it really is just about keeping Carmine happy. Because if there is one thing I can’t compete with it’s his dreams.
We used to be on the same page and now we’re not. Being with him, wanting more from him than friendship… it’s so much harder than I thought it would be.
The pain killers for my ankle have worn off and my throat is dry, so I climb out of bed to get some water to take the next dose with. My ankle is less swollen and tender this morning, and while it will probably worsen throughout the day, I can walk on it gingerly.
No heels with my outfit today. Damn.
I wince at the sharp pain when I put my foot down too hard a couple times, but I make it to the kitchen and manage to get some water. Opening the packet of painkillers, I swallow two pills with a mouthful of water.
Keeping Carmine happy is a big deal. It’s like most of my job. And my jealousy and insecurity are getting in the way of that. I’m not being as supportive as I should be professionally. Or as a girlfriend.
I flatten my hand over my abdomen as I drink the rest of my water. Perhaps I overreacted because of my little secret. Not just because pregnancy makes hormones crazy from what I’ve heard, but because we don’t keep secrets. Never have.
I have to tell him. I’m going to tell him. Get it off my chest and out in the open so I can be sure that it’s not the reason my sirens are blaring every time Sonatina is nearby.
I hobble out of the kitchen toward the den where Riot crashed out last night. I brought him a blanket at one point and tucked him in. I wanted him to know that we can be angry at each other, and it doesn’t change how much I care for him.
Entering the den, I approach the couch.
Riot is on his side, hair flopping over his eyes. Shirt off and sexy as hell, like always. Blanket covering his lower half. A woman’s hand on his abdomen, her fingers dipping below blanket level.
I freeze in place.
Gold hair spilling all over his shoulder. Her bare leg sticking out from the blanket to hip height. Breasts barely covered.
Sonatina.
My pulse pounds. My fists tighten. There’s a storm in my head with all the blood rushing in my ears.
He slept with her?
It’s not the first time I’ve had to wake him up with some bimbo wrapped around him. Or two...on occasion. But it’s the first time I’ve come to do it as his girlfriend.
He slept with her!
Bile surges up my throat. I clamp my fingers over my mouth. I’m going to be sick. I back away, but I can’t tear my eyes off them. It’s like I’m trapped in a nightmare.
She wanted him. She didn’t hide it. And it looks like he wanted her too. He just didn’t want to admit it.
My back bumps against the door and she starts to stir. I’m not going to stick around so she can rub it in my face that they fucked.
Spinning around, I hobble from the den as fast as my wounded ankle will take me. Hot tears spring to my eyes, making everything blurry. I barely make it back to the bedroom before they fall.
I rush into the ensuite, collapsing onto my knees in front of the toilet. The water I drank earlier spewing from my mouth.
Loving Riot in secret has always been easy. But I knew loving a rockstar out loud wouldn’t be. I just thought we had the history and the connection to trust that he wouldn’t do something like this.
Hurt me in this way.
Sleep with that fucking bitch.
My heart breaks. I cry so damn hard. It feels like I might never stop. How could he tell me he loves me and then sleep with her? I stagger to my feet and walk the short distance back to the bed where I lay down. I cry more tears than I thought possible.
I didn’t even get to tell him I’m pregnant before he proved we couldn’t be the kind of family I want for this child.
The door to the room opens and he staggers in.
Apparently, I forgot to lock it when I raced for the bathroom.
“Kelsey,” his voice is rough and crackling the way it always is when he first wakes.
How I love that sound. Loved that sound. The way it spoke of filthy secrets and after midnight intimacy. Now, it sounds like betrayal.
I don’t want to talk to him. I’m not prepared to hear him try to justify my finding him entangled with Sonatina. Or worse, for him to not even try to lie about what happened to spare my feelings.
I squeeze my eyes shut and don’t say anything.
He prowls across the room and climbs in under the covers next to me. His arm goes around my waist, and I fight the urge to want to be sick again when he snuggles in and the hardness of his morning wood prods my ass.
He kisses my cheek. “I’m so sorry, candy head.”
I can barely breathe as he settles back against the pillows. Wetness coats my cheeks. It’s all I can do to keep from snapping at him not to touch me.
But then we’d have to have this fight now. I’m not ready for that.
His breathing deepens and slows down as he goes back to sleep. Like the fact he cheated on me doesn’t weigh on his conscience at all.
I can hardly keep sobs from wracking my body. We’re imploding, aren’t we? When we have this fight will there be anything left of us at all?
The house starts to stir. The low rumble of conversation filters through from other rooms. This is meant to be Rogue and Ivy’s special day. I won’t allow Sonatina, or my broken heart, to ruin it.
Careful not to wake Riot, I untangle myself from his arm. I go into the bathroom and splash my face with water then press the fluffy towel to my blotched cheeks. My eyes are red from the tears, so I dig out some eye drops from my makeup bag and squeeze a couple drops in each eye.
How am I supposed to put on a happy face for the wedding today with my heart torn in two?
Riot stumbles into the bathroom. He yawns and stretches. His gaze is groggy and he clasps the side of his head. “Candy head, do you have anything for a headache? My head is throbbing so bad.”
“Uh. Sure.” He’s really sticking to pretending nothing happened. I want to turn on him and scream. He slept with her. How dare he act like it’s nothing.
“Kelsey?” He curls out an arm, reaching for me.
I side-step him. Wince at the flash of pain through my ankle.
“About yesterday,” he starts.
If we’re going to get through today, I can’t have this conversation.
I thought we’d be talking about how he didn’t stand up for me when Sonatina tripped me.
Not about how he tripped into her vagina.
I can’t rehash what he did with her. I’m not ready.
I won’t be able to make it through the day.
“Let’s just get through today. We can talk later. ”
“That’s how you want to handle it?” His hand drops to his side, his jaw tightens.
“It is.” I rush out of the room. “Why don’t you shower? I’ll get those pain killers for you.”
I just wish there was a pain killer to take away this pain in my chest.