CHAPTER 5 #2
I quickly bent down and scooped it up. But then I found myself standing before Cam clutching a vibrating dildo while he sat on the sofa holding my other dildo.
He was staring into the open drawer, his body still and eyes glued to its contents.
Even from here I could see what was in there: a variety of snacks as promised, a few pens and notebooks, batteries, and...
a nearly-empty bottle of lube. The dildos had apparently been in there as well, a fact I had completely forgotten about until just now.
He slowly lifted his gaze to me, eyed the loud object in my hand, then the one in his.
To make matters worse, the hand on the table reached down into the drawer to helpfully pull out the bottle of lube.
My already burning face flamed even hotter. Even my ears were on fire as I stood there. Mute. I was incapable of speech. Maybe if I backed away slowly and hid in a closet for a bit, Cam would forget the whole thing and we would never ever speak of this again.
Apparently, I had been doing just that when Cam let out a rushed,
“Don’t... Don’t be embarrassed.” He looked between me and the dildo in his hand before he carefully returned it and the bottle of lube, with the arm still attached, to the drawer. It thumped in outrage, but Cam ignored it as he stood.
“Embarrassed?” I blew a raspberry with my lips. “Who said I was embarrassed. I’m not embarrassed.”
In my flustered state, I had begun waving the dildo in front of me, so I shoved it behind my back and scooted slightly backward through the doorway.
“I’m just going to, uh, put this...”
I turned and made to leave but, before I knew it, Cam was grabbing at my other wrist and holding tight.
My breath caught, and where his skin touched mine, it burned as much as my blush.
The touch tingled and sent my heart thudding unsteadily before racing uncharacteristically fast. Wait, had it just...
skipped a beat? No. No way. That had never happened before.
That kind of thing only happened in books or movies.
Not in real life in my actual real chest. Was that healthy? It couldn’t be.
I hadn’t even managed to pluck up the courage to turn around before Cam’s low voice announced,
“I... I like that you have these.”
I startled, whirling on him.
“What?” I gasped, brows pinching tight. I didn’t know if I was relieved, confused, weirdly horny, or a combination of all three as I stared up at him.
Most of my exes in the past had strongly disliked the fact that I had dildos and even more so that I used them.
Frequently. Apparently, it bruised their fragile masculine egos or whatever, I didn’t know.
But the imminent rejection was what I had learned to anticipate and prepare for.
My walls had already been rising, ready for the, “What the fuck, you own these things?” and the “You won’t need these toys since you’re with me.
” bullshit they all had used as excuses.
But I didn’t hear any of that. Cam’s voice lowered as he took a step closer, invading my space.
“I said that I like that you have these.” His distracting blue eyes flickered with heat. “Do you use them?”
I swallowed, throat suddenly parched, then nodded.
“A lot?” he asked, daring another step closer.
I had entirely forgotten about what we had come in here to do. I forgot about the dildo still vibrating away in my free hand and the thumping of Cam’s other hand where it was trapped within the drawer.
I nodded again, a jerky up and down of my chin. I watched as his throat bobbed in a swallow, and my eyes were transfixed as he licked his lips.
“You use dildos in your spell room, Victor?”
Oh, my good god. That voice... The way he said my name... My knees trembled, threatening to buckle beneath me as I tilted my chin further up to meet his eyes once more.
“Um...”
The dildo in question chose that exact moment to increase in tempo. The vibration grew even louder with a rapid, fluttering pace. I nearly dropped it in surprise but still managed to notice how Cam’s gaze had drifted to my mouth and lingered.
Then suddenly, his face was growing closer. Was he leaning for me or was I teetering toward him? I didn’t know and, quite frankly, didn’t care. All I knew was that his full lips were aiming for mine and my mouth was parting in anticipation.
Were we...? We were.
My eyes fluttered closed and just when I felt the warm brush of his breath against my lips, the doorbell chimed.
The sudden noise startled us both. Cam dropped my wrist and I jumped back a step, putting some distance between us.
The bell rang again, almost impossible to hear over the raging pounding of my heart.
My breaths were coming short and fast, and when I looked at Cam again, his state wasn’t any better.
His chest was rising and falling rapidly as he gazed down at me, his flush spreading to his neck and pierced ears.
Though we’d been interrupted, his eyes still appeared full and dark with what I could only identify as pure want.
What a way to go: death by sexual tension.
“I should... pizza.” I blurted then turned and made my way to the front door.
I pulled the door open still feeling far too flustered to face anyone at that moment. When I saw the delivery guy standing there with our boxes of pizza, I gave him my most polite grin. It felt entirely too stiff and forced.
“DracDash delivery for Victor?” the man asked.
I nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”
Why did I still sound so breathless?
I reached out to grab the boxes he was offering to me but when his eyes settled on what was in my hand, he let out a choked noise.
Glancing down, I realized why.
I was still holding the vibrating dildo.
As if I had a hot potato in my hand, I chucked the toy behind me, hearing it land with a thud somewhere deep within the living room. When a sharp crash immediately followed, I hissed with a winced.
I faced the delivery guy again with a nervous, too-loud chuckle.
“Yep. Yes, my dild- Pizza! My pizza.” I quickly corrected myself. “That’s me. I’m Victor. I’ll just...” I reached out and took the boxes from the stunned, likely traumatized, man. “Thanks. Sorry about that. Bye!”
The man’s now empty hands were still held out before him as I slammed the door shut with my foot.
I let out a long sigh through my nose. When I turned, Cam was leaning against the wall in the living room watching me.
His lips were pressed into a tight, trembling line, clearly fighting the urge to burst out laughing.
His shoulders were already shaking with that silent laughter, and I couldn’t think to be embarrassed any longer.
“I hope you tipped him well,” he said, voice dripping with mirth.
I lifted my chin high, determined to not be bested by a dildo. “I did. I always tip well.”
His eyes were crinkling as he watched me carry the pizzas into the kitchen. I could practically feel the energy pouring off him as I passed by his hulking body. It made me want to gravitate toward him, pulled in by his mere presence.
I didn’t even bother looking to investigate what my dildo had crashed into.
“The customer service industry is hard,” I said as I rummaged around looking for the paper plates. “I was a server for a few years, so I always like to pay it forward. Ya know?”
I spotted the paper plates – my finest China – above my fridge but when I went to grab them, Cam’s arm moved above me to pull them down. I fought the urge to swoon as his biceps bulged by my face with his reach.
“I know what you mean,” he replied, handing the stack to me. “I was a bartender.”
My brows rose, “Really?”
“Mhm. For a while a few years ago.” He tilted his head. “You seem surprised.”
“Not surprised that you were a bartender. Just that you remember.” I set the plates down onto the counter, then asked carefully, “Do you... remember anything else yet?”
He crossed his arms over his chest and rested his head against the fridge.
“A little. But it's really fuzzy, like static. When I try too hard to remember, it gives me a headache. But it’s been slowly coming back to me.”
“Where did you bartend, if you don’t mind me asking.” I couldn’t help but be curious about him; who he was before he died and who he was now. I wanted to know everything.
“Radiance,” he told me.
When I heard that, the pizza I had been dishing out nearly fell onto the table and not the plate.
“Wait...” I began. “Radiance? As in the bar in Mayport, between here and Cresthill University?” When he nodded, I let out an incredulous laugh, “I used to go there.”
Frequent flyer, actually.
Radiance was a popular bar known for its good drinks and food that was decently priced. It was busy most nights of the week, especially on evenings when they brought in live bands. The drinks were strong, the music was loud, and their magic-infused shots were some of the best I had ever had.
It was also a well-known queer bar.
His memory seemed to be serving him fine because he watched me carefully as I admitted,
“I won’t hide it from you.” I flicked my gaze to him then away just as quickly. “I have a... bit of a sordid past.”
He smiled softly in understanding. “Who doesn’t?”
And damn if that didn’t lift the weight of my previous promiscuity from my shoulders.
“I don’t remember seeing you there, but you said you worked there a few years ago, so that makes sense.” After all, I had probably been with Ron at the time. Before he’d stopped me from going there anymore. “If I’d seen you there, I totally would have hit on you.”
I handed the plate of his pizza to him, and he reached out to grab it from me. Our fingers brushed and I inhaled sharply, electricity zapping over my skin. Then I remembered.
“Shit, your arm.” I glanced between his armless sleeve and the pizza in his other hand, obviously warring with myself. “Um, food or arm first?”
He didn’t even hesitate when he replied, “Food. Definitely food.”
***