CHAPTER 17 #2
“Vic, I’ve been wanting to tell you something,” he began and my heart started racing with nerves. “I wanted to do it when we got home, but I can’t hold back anymore.”
Okay, now I was starting to worry. “Cam?”
“I... I love you.”
My brain short-circuited before coming back online several seconds later. Mouth falling open in stunned surprise, I blinked dazedly up at Cam as the words began flowing from within him. Seemed he had been bottling them up and the dam had finally burst.
“I love you, Victor. I am so completely, entirely in love with you, and you… you have no idea how grateful I am that you found me. I… I love everything about you. You’re stubborn and a little pessimistic but kind and loyal to a fault.
You’re sweet and… and caring even when you try to hide those sides of you from everyone. ”
He swallowed hard and his stuttering slowly faded as he grew more confident in his words.
“You love so wholly. So completely, with your entire being. You give yourself so willingly to love even though you’re terrified of being hurt.
And I know those from your past have abused that, but I never will.
I love you. I see you always holding back, worried you’ll be too much.
But you are perfect for me in every way. Just as you are.”
He was panting, face pink and hands trembling slightly. He sucked in a breath before adding as the final cherry on top,
“So, don’t be afraid of being too much for me, because I love every part of you, Victor.”
There went my knees, going all weak on me. Every time he said my name, it was my kryptonite. And that speech... Fuck, had he rehearsed that? Those were the sweetest words I had ever heard in my life, and I was left utterly speechless.
“I... I’m sorry to tell you all of this in the middle of the street after the party,” he rushed to add. “It’s not exactly the most romantic, but… but I had to.”
I blinked hard, vision blurring at the corners. My suspicions bubbled up, feeding my insecurities. And suddenly there was something else, something that I needed to confess. As much as I desperately didn’t want to.
“But...” I choked as an unexpected sob tore free.
Cam’s face grew pained at the sound. “But... What if... What if it’s...
” I struggled to get the words out, but I had to.
Cam had finally told me he loved me, and even though I was terrified, I couldn’t keep this from him.
Not if there was a chance that it was true. He had to know.
“What if it’s,” I hiccupped, squeezing my eyes shut, unable to look at him. “Not real?”
His head cocked in confusion and that only made me cry harder as I clutched the flowers to my chest.
“Oh Vic,” he said soothingly. His arms came around my shoulders to pull me against him. My body shuddered with tears as he asked, “What are you talking about?”
I felt his big hand cradle the back of my head and I pressed my face into his chest to hide the worst of it. Though Cam had already seen me ugly cry before.
“What if it... What you feel for me,” I whispered. “What if it’s not real? What if it’s just... my magic? The magic that brought you back.”
He went still against me, and all I could hear were his steady breaths and the soft thumping of his heart against my ear.
“Is this what you’ve been so worried about?” he asked softly, then released a chuckle.
I jerked back giving him a full view of my tear-stained, red face.
“What? Of course I have! I’ve been holding back from telling you how much I love you, but I’ve been-”
“You love me too?” he interrupted me, blue eyes staring hard into mine. Both of his hands reached up to hold the sides of my face, thumbs stroking my cheeks and taking the salty dampness with them.
I sniffled, “I love you so much it aches, Cam.”
The sound that left him was akin to a wounded whine, and for the first time, I saw Cam’s eyes glisten with emotion before his own tears painted his face. He was stunning, stealing the breath from my lungs.
I removed one hand from the bouquet to cup Cam’s jaw. “Of course you’re beautiful when you cry.”
He huffed a laugh as he nuzzled into my palm. “You love me too.”
This time, it wasn’t a question, but a statement. Like he needed to repeat the words to believe they were true. As if me saying them wasn’t enough. I nodded and he was gazing down at me with so much tender affection that I nearly melted on the spot.
“Oh Vic,” Cam leaned forward to press his lips against mine.
He pulled back a second later. “You didn’t fabricate my feelings for you, if that’s what you’re worried about.
And your magic didn’t either. Your magic may have brought me back to life, but my heart was always mine to give.
And I chose to give it,” he kissed my left cheek, then the right, light brushes of warm lips, “to you. Not out of obligation or because of your magic inside me, but because you are you. And I love you.”
Had Cam not been holding me, I would have collapsed with a mix of relief and such burning love.
The ground was unsteady beneath my feet. I was off balance. Like one final push from Cam was all it would take to send me falling like the last of these autumn leaves fluttering around us.
But I blinked at the sudden realization. I wasn’t afraid. I could allow myself to fall. Because he would catch me. I sagged against him.
“Why hadn’t I met you sooner?” I whispered.
Cam worked at the bar I’d frequented. I easily could have crossed his path had I not been with Ron.
It was all too easy to think what could have been if only I hadn’t held onto false hope for so long.
Hope that he would change. And I had potentially missed out because of it.
But I had Cam now. And the fact that he had literally died and I might never have gotten to know him terrified me, it made my heart physically ache.
“I’m with you now,” he assured me, echoing my thoughts. “And I’m not going-”
I silenced him by flinging my arms around his neck and pressing my lips to his.
This kiss was long and innocent but just as passionate as any deeper kiss we’d shared.
When we finally separated, I blinked as my eyes focused.
I couldn’t help but drink him in, the warm glow of the lamp making his face appear soft and angelic.
I released a drawn-out sigh and whispered against him,
“I love you, Cam.”
His own trembling sigh was heavy with relief. It left me melting into him as we kissed beneath the golden glow of the streetlight, tasting each other’s tears. Long fingers danced over my spine as a wide, dreamy smile spread over Cam’s face.
And I had never been happier.
***
Days passed, then weeks, and before I knew it, nearly a year had gone by.
The BPD never showed up at my door. Not for Cam and not for he-we-don't-speak-of. And Alice’s wedding was right around the corner.
The day before Halloween, in fact. Their chosen colors were black and orange – or apricot as Mandy declared – and they even had Cam decorate a Halloween-themed cake with a bunch of little bats. Jinx had been delighted.
I’d helped. Meaning I had made the second batch of icing for the cake. Yes, the second batch.
Because, like the gentleman I was, I’d used the first batch on Cam like he had on me for my birthday. Seeing Cam’s muscled, tattooed body covered in black and orange icing had been a sexual experience I definitely wanted to repeat.
He’d loved it.
But maybe the next time we could both be covered in icing. It would be hella messy, but so fucking worth it.
I rubbed a palm over the seam of my pants, urging my rapidly filling frosting-fantasy-induced boner to go away.
Now was not the time to go all horny when Cam had told me he had something very important to tell me.
He even had a place in mind and, thirty minutes later, Cam was helping me out of the car at the Briarwood Cemetery.
My brow wrinkled with confusion, but my curiosity was piqued.
“Uh, what are we doing here, Cam?” I asked him as he tangled our fingers together.
He smiled brightly down at me, even as the bitter chill whipped around us, sending my hair in all sorts of unruly directions and his gray plaid scarf flapping wildly.
It was well after dark, so it was particularly frigid and I shivered, bundling my coat tighter around me.
Cam tugged me into his side, looped my arm through his, and began walking.
“You’ll see,” was all he said.
I hummed and smirked up at him. “What a tease. I’m quivering with suspense.”
By the time we stopped, I had already realized where Cam was bringing me. I gave him an intrigued glance as I turned to eye the gravestone with my name on it. When he pulled out a foldable spade shovel, I snickered.
“Where were you keeping that?”
“Vic, it’s time,” Cam said, holding out the shovel to me like one would offer a ceremonial weapon or something.
I sighed softly, “I suppose you’re right, babe.”