Chapter 16 Avalon
sixteen
Avalon
Istill haven’t talked to Zeke, and it’s been over a week since I decided to give in to the whole acquaintances with benefits thing. I guess part of me didn’t know how to go about the entire thing.
I could pull a Zeke and wait on campus until he walks by, but I’d never put myself through that kind of torture.
I could go to his place and hope that he’s the one who answers the front door, but if he doesn’t, that could be shamefully embarrassing.
And since I didn’t have his phone number, I decided to do nothing.
But the world threw the perfect opportunity my way in the library yesterday. A Halloween party. The perfect excuse to get me through the front door.
There’s a knock on my bedroom door, so I jump off my bathroom sink and open my door. It’s my mom.
I don’t know who I expected it to be. There’s only one person who has a key to our house aside from us, and that person is Jay.
But I haven’t seen her for nearly a month and never expected her to be the one to change that.
“What?” I keep my door as closed as possible.
“What are you up to tonight?”
“Halloween party.”
“It’s Halloween.” Her voice fades. “So, your birthday—”
“Was last week. Do you need something? I need to finish getting ready.”
“I wanted to give this to you.” She hands me an envelope. “It’s not everything, but I hope it’s a start.”
I open the envelope, stare at the contents, and look back up at her in surprise.
“It’s money.”
“I know it’s not nearly enough for what I took from you, but I promise I’ll find a way to give it all back.”
“How did you even get all this money?” Now I’m concerned about whatever illegal activity she might’ve participated in to get this.
“I didn’t spend all of it.” She forces a sad smile. “You were right that night when you yelled at me. I was wrong to take it from you.”
I don’t know how to react to this. It’s clear that my mom’s sober right now, which is rare. It happened before, but usually, after a small stint of sobriety, she jumps further into the deep end.
“I saw Jay,” she continues. “He made me realize that you could’ve gone to the police, you could’ve turned me in, and you didn’t.”
“I couldn’t.”
“And you should’ve. I want to be better, mija. I know it’s not much, but I’ve been sober for nearly a week. Jay’s been taking me to an AA group; we meet three times a week, and he’s been really holding me accountable.”
“That’s great, Mami.”
“I know this doesn’t prove anything. I know it doesn’t make up for anything, but I promise you, this time, it’ll be different.”
It’s always going to be different. And it is different… until it isn’t. And then everything seems to hit a thousand times harder because she’s proven she can stay clean. She’s proven to me that she can be a good mom. And then, she goes and chooses drugs and alcohol over me.
“I hope so,” I say. “If you want, I can stay in tonight. We can rent a movie or something.”
“No.” She sniffles. “Go, have fun. Jay’s stopping by after shift to make sure I don’t go and do anything stupid.”
“Okay.” She squeezes my hand, then turns around to head into the living room. “Mami—” she looks back at me, “estoy muy orgullosa de ti.”
Her eyes soften.
“Gracias, mija.”
Ialready regret this. I haven’t even reached Zeke’s house, but I have this queasy feeling in my stomach.
This is embarrassing. Who shows up at someone’s house to tell them they’re ready to be fuck buddies?
It’s been weeks since I last saw Zeke. He could’ve found a new girl that gives him the same pleasure I did, and maybe she accepted the whole friends-with-benefits thing the second he offered it.
Seriously, who waits nearly four weeks to realize that no-strings sex with one person is a good idea.
Always knowing who I’m gonna have sex with and that I’m going to enjoy it should be a no-brainer.
He said it himself, it wouldn’t mean anything, and we could sleep with other people if we wanted to.
I deserve to have a fuck buddy. With all the hell I’ve had to deal with, I deserve to have one thing come easy. And that’s sex.
Except now I’m wondering if coming to a Halloween party to tell Zeke I’m in is a huge mistake.
Maybe Oliver would be down to be fuck buddies.
Sure, the rush I get in my body while we’re sleeping together isn’t as exhilarating as it is with Zeke.
Still, he actually gets me to my tipping point. And he’s good at it.
And I definitely underestimated how many people would be here for the party. I thought the last party was ridiculous with how many people were there, but tonight’s even worse. I don’t even know how to find Zeke in all these people.
“Yo, Harris!” I try to find where the voice comes from, but I can barely hear them over the music and other conversations. “Is Brooks gonna be back with more booze soon? We’re almost out!”
My eyes finally land on a guy in the far corner of what is usually the dining room. His smile reminds me of Zeke’s, only because they both have a cockiness about them.
But he’s shorter than Zeke and a little lankier, not in a bad way; I can still see the muscle peaking through his shirt, but it’s subtle. Although buzzed, his hair is dark brown, which compliments his rich brown skin.
“If you’re alcoholic ass wasn’t hogging all of it, Marcus, we might still have a few bottles!” I don’t need to see him to know that’s his voice. Now, I only need to figure out where the voice is coming from. “He should be back soon; they just went up the road for it.”
And then I see him. He’s leaning against the wall, watching people play beer pong. Even though they’re in costumes, I instantly recognize three of them. I saw them at the first party I met Zeke at; they called Jaxon over to play a round of beer pong with them.
Fletch, I think his name was, is playing beer pong with the same two girls as the last party, but there’s a guy with the blonde girl who doesn’t look familiar.
“You got this,” I mumble, rubbing my hands on my jeans before walking over to Zeke. A couple of girls are chatting with him, which I didn’t notice before coming over.
Fuck. Maybe I can turn around; he’ll never even know I was here.
Or maybe I should just talk to him.
But I don’t know if this Fletch guy saw us at that first party, which means the whole incognito fuck buddy idea I have would get thrown down the drain.
Or maybe the mask I’m wearing for Halloween will hide my identity enough so he won’t realize I’m the same girl. It works in those Cinderella Story movies.
I take a deep breath, and it’s like my body takes that as a cue to keep walking, even though I have no idea how to start this conversation. But my body’s on a mission, and I don’t have enough time to think of a better opening line than hi, so I do the only other thing I can think of.
I kiss him.
Sure, it’s forward, and there’s a good chance he’ll have no idea it’s me from a kiss alone, but it’s the only thing I can think of.
And I don’t know if he realizes from the kiss that it’s me or if our bodies just truly know how to react to each other, but he wraps his free arm around my waist, pulling me into him.
I may have started this kiss, but he instantly took control of it, removing any doubts about this situation from my mind.
I don’t know why I’m surprised. Zeke’s intoxicating. I think that’s one of the reasons I snuck out after our first time. I knew he’d be my drug. The one person I kept coming back to, no matter how hard I tried to fight it.
He pulls back, his hand leaving my back and moving to my face. His thumb grazes across my lower lip, sending shivers down my spine.
I reach up, intertwining our fingers to pull him upstairs with me.
“Here, Fletch.” His eyes stay glued to me as he pushes his cup into Fletch’s chest. Fletch takes it, and I notice everyone playing beer pong is staring at us with amusement.
Without a word, I tug on Zeke’s arm, pulling him upstairs to his room. And unlike last time, I don’t need him to show me where to go—
I already know.