Chapter 42 Avalon
forty-two
Avalon
March
He called you?” Zeke drops down on the couch next to me.
“Yeah,” I respond. “I don’t know how my dad got my number, but he said he wants to meet me.”
“Meet you?” Zeke laughs. “He’s met you. He actually already knew you when he chose to walk out of your life.”
“I know. He said he needs to explain why he did what he did.”
“Explain what he did?” Zeke pulls my legs onto his lap. “How do you just walk out and leave your child?”
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “I guess part of me wants to go to hear what kind of bullshit excuse he comes up with.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” He squeezes my knee. “Like for emotional support.”
“No,” I reply. “I appreciate it, but I think I need to do this alone.”
“When are you meeting him?” He pats my leg, gets up, and heads to the kitchen.
“In a couple hours.”
“You’re meeting with him today?”
I stand up and meet him in the kitchen. He grabs both of us a soda as I hop onto the counter.
“I thought it was better to get it over with. I haven’t stopped thinking about that day at the grocery store. He has a whole family now, Zeke. One that I didn’t know about. I have two younger siblings… who don’t even know who I am.”
“Yeah, that’s fucked up. Not only did you leave your kid, but your new family knows nothing about her.”
“I’ll call you if I need you, okay?”
He steps toward me, giving me a slow, sweet kiss. “And I’ll be there the second you do.”
“Thank you.” I smile. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“That makes two of us.”
He chose to meet at Greystone diner, of all places. The same place we used to go to when I was a kid. If he thinks it’ll make things right between us, it won’t.
It also doesn’t help that he’s late.
The bell rings above the door, and I look up and see him walking in. He doesn’t seem to be in a rush, even though I’ve been sitting here for fifteen minutes, waiting for him.
“Hi.” My dad slides into the booth across from me. “Sorry, I’m late. I had this thing at my kids' school.”
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised they’re more important than me. After all, he chose to stick around for their lives.
“Well, it’s nice to know you finally learned how to be a father.” I take a sip of my chocolate milkshake, and by the look on his face, he didn’t expect that kind of response from me.
It’s hard to know anything about me, though, since he walked out on me over ten years ago.
“I guess I deserve that.” He sits forward, clasping his hands. “How’ve you been?”
“I’ve been fine.” I want to add, ‘No thanks to you,’ but I feel like I already set the tone for this meeting. “You know, for finding out that the dad who abandoned me took no time in starting over with someone else. How old is your daughter? She looks to be about eleven.”
Okay… maybe this was a bad idea. I didn’t accept his invitation to attack him this whole lunch.
He coughs. “Abigail will be eleven next month. Auggie’s eight.”
“Do they know about me? Does your wife?”
He scratches his eyebrow, leaning forward against the table. “They don’t. And I’d appreciate it if—”
“I didn’t tell them?” I laugh. “So what was this supposed to be? You wanted to meet me to make sure I wouldn’t try to have a relationship with you? That I wouldn’t try and ruin your new perfect family?”
“Avalon,” he begins, “it’s not like that. I do want to get to know you. I just don’t want them to meet you until I know that it’s worth it.”
“I don’t want a relationship with you,” I argue. “Of any kind. Honestly, the only reason I came today was to see what bullshit you tried to feed me about why you needed to leave. But you proved to me who you were before you even showed up.”
“I needed to leave because being with your mom wasn’t healthy for either of us,” he responds.
“Just because your relationship with her wasn’t healthy doesn’t mean you couldn’t stay in my life. You like to use Mom as an excuse, but you ran away like a coward!” I yell. “You let me grow up in that house with her. You thought it was difficult for you; did you even stop to think about me?”
“I’m sorry, Avalon. I guess I didn’t think about it at the time. I thought you’d be better off with your grandparents than with me.”
“Well, they died not long after you left,” I continue. “Which meant me taking care of a drug addict mother instead of anyone taking care of me. Do you know what that does to a kid? Wondering what you were going to come home to. Who you were going to come home to.”
“I’m sorry, Avalon. I never thought about what kind of situation I’d be leaving you in.”
“Yeah, well, you were never one to think about others.” I stand up. “This was a mistake. I’m super happy you got your fresh start, but I’m in the middle of getting mine, and I don’t want you to be a part of it. I don’t need you to be a part of it.”
“Avalon,” he says as I drop cash on the table.
“Save it.” I hold a hand up to stop him. “Good luck with your new family. I hope you stick around for this one.”