Chapter 15
fifteen
Rowyn Hale
Taunts
Walking into my first class of the day, everyone seems quiet, and that has me on edge.
Even when I was in the cafeteria, things were odd, and now, as I enter this room, all eyes are on me, making me just want to run and hide.
My body crawls as if a million ants are running up and down every inch of my skin.
I try not to make eye contact with anyone, especially Grayson, who is sitting in the back talking to some guy.
I keep my eyes down as I make it to my seat, then gasp when I see the desk.
I swallow thickly as tears threaten to fall down my cheeks.
I will not cry in front of these people. I will not give them what they want.
“Aren’t you going to sit down, Chunkers?
” Grayson shouts, making me jump as the room fills with laughter.
My eyes shoot to him, and he smirks, then tilts his head, but the professor enters the room, and those who were standing around me all find a seat.
So I’m left standing here with nowhere to sit because my desk is too small for me to sit in.
I tighten my hold around my books, trying to come up with any possible solution.
I cannot miss class. I’ll lose my scholarship.
“Ms. Hale. Please sit down. You are holding up the class,” she spits, and I look at the desk, then at her. “Sit, or you can get out,” she scolds.
“I would go with the latter.” Grayson laughs, and so does everyone else.
“Settle down. Now, Ms. Hale, if you can’t plant your butt somewhere in the next two seconds, you are dismissed,” she states, and everyone laughs again. Tears threaten to spill again, and I run out of the classroom, letting them fall. What am I supposed to do? He’s going to ruin everything!
Suddenly, I slam into a body and fall back on my ass. My books scatter across the floor.
“I-I’m so sorry,” I say, grabbing all my things and getting back to my feet. Hands grip my waist, and my head snaps up to see Elliot with a concerned look on his face.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asks, wiping my tears off my cheeks.
“N-nothing. I’m fine,” I say, taking a step back, but he pulls me closer and cups my face, forcing me to look at him.
“You don’t look fine, Petal. Tell me what happened,” he says softly, and I shake my head.
“It’s nothing. I’m fine,” I say, and he tilts his head much like Grayson did only moments ago. I brace myself for impact, but he presses his lips against my forehead.
“You know you can trust me right?” he states, and I nod my head.
I know I can, I just choose not to divulge the truth.
I really just want to go to my room and drag my blade up my thighs and hope the pain in my chest goes away.
“Look at me, Rowyn. You’re safe with me.
Now, please tell me what just happened,” he begs, and my eyes shoot up to his.
“Your friend Grayson is embarrassing me yet again, that’s all,” I state, and he smiles.
“Ah, he’s not so bad. Everything will be okay. Don’t worry. It’s just some harmless fun,” he says, pressing his lips against mine. “Will you come to my game tomorrow night?” he asks, and my eyes widen.
“Really? You want me there?”
“Yeah, Petal. I do,” he says with a wicked grin. So I nod, even if butterflies swarm my stomach and excitement fills my veins.
“Okay, can I bring Misti?” I ask, and he smiles wider.
“Of course. But listen. I gotta run. Are you sure you’re okay? I can cut class and hang out with you if you want?” But I shake my head and take a step back.
“No, I'm fine. See you later,” I tell him, and he squeezes my hip before walking away. I take a deep breath and walk down the hall without having any clue where I’m going.
So I just walk around aimlessly until the bell rings then head to my next class.
But when I walk in, I see yet another small desk, so I sit in a different one.
Fuck him. He’s not even in this class, and he’s still taunting me.
The professor walks in and looks at me, and I freeze.
“Ms. Hale. On your feet,” he orders, and I stand.
He looks me up and down with a look of disgust and points to the small desk.
“Please take your assigned seat,” he says, and I shake my head.
So he raises a brow and walks around his desk towards me.
My eyes widen when he grabs my arm and walks me over to the small desk.
I rip my arm away, and he huffs. “Sit!” he growls, and the class laughs.
“No,” I state as the room fills with laughter.
“She’s too fat, Mr. Westford,” some guy yells, and I cringe.
“Yes, indeed. Please leave my class. Maybe go to the gym and run on the treadmill. It will do you some good,” he states, and I gasp, but everyone laughs at his cruelty.
“I’m reporting you to the admins. You can’t speak to me like that,” I threaten, and he laughs.
“Does anyone know what this poor girl is talking about? All I did was ask you to sit in your seat. You’re the one being disobedient and interrupting my lecture,” he says, like I’m crazy and made this all up.
I can’t believe this fucking school. What the fuck.
I scurry out of the class so ready for the fucking day to end.
Fuck this. I go back to my room, slam the door, and lock it.
Misti won’t be back for hours. I throw my books on my bed and sink to my knees, reaching under my bed for the box I hid there.
Pulling it out, I crack the lid and take out the little pink bag.
Opening it, I look inside and take out my blade as my heart begins to race, knowing what’s coming.
I place it back in the bag and slide my leggings down my thighs, removing them.
I widen my legs and grab an alcohol swab, wiping my inner thighs.
Then I take out the blade and wipe it off as well.
Taking a deep breath, I press the metal into my skin and drag deeply, watching the blood pool lightly then drip down my thighs.
The tightness in my chest starts to diminish the more cuts I give myself, and before I know it, I start to feel lightheaded followed by a sudden rush of excitement.
Six slices later, I feel lighter. More normal then I’ve been since the last time I cut myself.
It’s the only way I know I’m still human and that this life I lead is my reality.
Just an unloved girl, all alone, begging for attention and praying to find someone to love me for who I am and how I look on the outside.
I get it. I'm fat and not the prettiest but I deserve love and affection. I take a deep breath and smile as I throw the blade away, clean and bandage myself, then I crawl into bed and let the high drift me off to sleep. Fuck Grayson Mercer. One day I’ll get him back for his cruelty, but for right now, I settle for only dreaming of it.