Chapter 26
twenty-six
Rowyn Hale
Envelopes
The weekend flew by, and nothing has been said about what happened last week.
Lucy is still missing, and I can’t shake the feeling that it’s all my fault.
I can’t fucking remember what happened when I stormed away from the guys after humiliating that poor girl.
I don’t understand why my mind keeps shutting off.
It’s happening more and more the longer I stay here.
It happened a lot during high school, and still to this day, I don’t remember shit.
People would call me crazy, and I believed it.
It’s not like I can call my parents and ask them why this is happening.
It started after they died. Is it because of that?
I don’t have a clue, but this is annoying.
When Grayson and Kade came to Elliot’s room, I immediately left.
I couldn’t stand being in the room with them.
I shouldn’t want them, especially after everything they’ve put me through, and I’m still not over the video.
I also didn’t want to be interrogated anymore.
Elliot did enough of that while washing me and touching me.
As much as I enjoyed it, it’s not what I wanted or needed.
So, I’ve been avoiding all of them. It’s easy to do it with Kade and Elliot, but Grayson. He’s fucking everywhere.
Walking into my first class of the day, the taunts have already started.
Hungry Hippo keeps flying out of everyone's mouth when I walk by, but I keep my head up and ignore them, even if all I want to do is cry. I know I’m fat and not the prettiest; however, the constant reminder is going to make me flip the fuck out and want to cut again.
This is the only class that I have with Kade and Grayson so coming here I took my time, waiting until damn near the last minute.
I sit in my seat, three rows from the back, thanking god it’s not the little desk again and that there’s no tacks in sight.
I set my bag down and face forward even as the taunts continue around me.
I act unbothered, unfazed by the bullshit.
It's the only way to get through it. The hairs on the back of my neck stand and I know they are right behind me.
A chair drags out slowly, screeching against the floor, making me wince.
"Miss me, Shadow Mouse?" he asks, his breath fanning over my neck.
The smell of weed and mint hit my nostrils and I bite back a moan, because…
what the fuck? Why does he have this effect on me?
Why do any of them affect me in any way?
God, they are annoying but I ignore him.
I click my pen and open my notebook, waiting for the professor to arrive.
But then, the low chuckle of Grayson has my back snapping straight.
His silence is menacing, just knowing he's behind me sends chills up my spine.
The fact that no words are being spoken by him makes me brace myself for what's to come.
Finally the professor walks into the room, and everyone goes silent.
The background noise fades and she begins her lesson.
She drones on and on and I try my hardest to pay attention but the constant whispers behind me and the eyes that send daggers to the back of my head make it extremely hard to concentrate.
Then a folded piece of paper lands on my desk.
As I stare at it, another one lands next to it, and I blink.
What the fuck? Then another, like a quiet rhythm as if the papers are knocking on my desk, waiting for me to have a reaction.
But my jaw tightens and my hands pick one up and unfold it.
"Look at me." My fingers still. Then I pick up another.
"You don't get to ignore us." My pulse increases as I pick up the last one.
"After class. Don't run." I let out a breath, folding it back over and tucking it under my textbook.
I shiver when I feel a warm breath on my neck.
"Rowyn." And I jump, then the professor's eyes meet mine and she huffs.
"Miss Hale. Since you seem so focused—why don't you answer the question," she says, folding her arms over her chest. My breath is caught in my throat and I blink. What was the fucking question?
"Yeah, Shadow Mouse. Answer the question," Kade states, his voice just inches from my ear, soft and venomous. I fucking hate him! A few students giggle and snicker as my hands shake.
"Uh, can you repeat the question please?" I ask, and she does. Oh, thank god I know the answer, so I give her what she wants and she smiles with approval, but then behind me is a clap. Slow. Mocking.
"Holy shit, she speaks," Kade murmurs, and the class laughs. Grayson leans forward and I shiver.
"Not bad," he whispers. "For someone who doesn't know her place." And I turn my head to look at him with narrowed eyes. His cold, green eyes are long gone, they’re now black as night, and I smirk.
"You done?" I ask, looking at him then to Kade, who is grinning, but Grayson doesn't smile.
His hand moves suddenly and his chair jerks just enough to make me jump and throw me off balance, but a hand, steady and firm, pushes me back ensuring I don't fall out of my seat and, for a second, I think he saved me from embarrassment but his grip tightens, making me wince.
"Careful," he whispers. "You break too soon… where's the fun in that?" Then he lets go and I slowly turn to face forward, my fingers curling against the desk. I see Grayson sit back in his seat out of my peripheral. It's sad that Kade is nothing but a lap dog doing his master’s dirty work.
“Ms. Hale. The dean would like a word,” the professor calls out, interrupting my thoughts. My heart drops in my chest. Fuck! Laughter ensues around me, and I roll my eyes.
“Oooo the dean wants to see you,” Grayson taunts, making everyone laugh.
“I wonder if he wants a taste too of the Hungry Hungry Hippo,” one of the guys adds, and the professor does nothing.
She doesn’t quiet down the room or scold them for the taunts.
She just sets her things down and watches as I leave.
Holding my books to my chest, I exit the classroom and walk towards the dean's office, trying not to cry.
I need to keep it together. I have no idea why the dean would want to see me.
My hands shake, and my chest tightens the closer I get.
Opening the door, I step inside, and the secretary smiles at me.
“Go ahead dear. He’s waiting for you,” she states, gesturing towards his office. I walk around her desk and into his office, where he is sitting, looking through what I assume is my file. I lightly knock on his door, and he looks up, taking off his glasses and gesturing to the seat across from him.
“Have a seat, Ms. Hale. Do you know why I called you in today?” he asks as I take a seat. I shake my head, and he nods.
“There’s a very questionable video of you with another student going around and we don’t tolerate that here at Lockridge University,” he says, eyeing me.
“I understand, sir,” I say, looking away from him.
“That’s strike one, Ms. Hale. You get three then your scholarship will be revoked,” he states, and I nod again.
“I understand. It will never happen again,” I answer.
“Very well. Other than that, how are you liking school so far?” he asks, and I shrug.
“It’s okay,” I answer, and he raises a brow.
“Just okay? Here at Lockridge we pride ourselves with sports over academics as you can see. Are you going to try out for Field Hockey? I see in your file you were on the varsity team in high school.”
“I might. My advisor said I should when try outs start,” I answer, and he smiles.
“Very well. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to come see me about it.” He winks, and I immediately want to crawl into myself. He’s watched the tape, and now I just want to throw up.
“Okay. I will,” I answer.
“Oh, one more thing. I heard you are tutoring Kade Langley. How is that going?” he asks.
“It’s going fine. We work together pretty well,” I say, and he nods.
“He’s a good kid. I go way back with his father. Are his friends treating you well?”
“Yes, sir,” I answer.
“Okay, this came for you,” he states and slides a letter across his desk. I furrow my brows as I pick up the envelope with my name scribbled on it.
“Thank you.”
“You are dismissed, Ms. Hale,” he tells me, and I stand from the chair and exit the office. I could kill Kade. I don’t care that someone else leaked the tape. He should’ve never fucking recorded it, especially without my consent. Fucking asshole.
The rest of the day is the same as this morning.
I’m fucking emotionally drained from all the name-calling.
So, instead of going to tutoring, I decide to go to my room and take a nap.
Fuck this school and fuck Kade. I’m at the point now that I'd rather go back to my dingy apartment and be alone, away from here. I still haven’t read the letter the Dean gave me.
I don’t know what it could be, and I’m too afraid to open it.
Although I can feel it staring at me, taunting me to open it.
So, I let my impulses take over and throw the blanket off of me.
Ugh. I get out of bed and walk over to my desk, lifting the black envelope.
I flip it over, really feeling the weight of it in my hands.
I gasp as I look at my name in my father's handwriting. What the fuck?
Knocking on my door makes me jump out of my skin, but I’m too focused on what’s in my hands to care or be bothered to answer.
Why does this have my name on it in my father’s handwriting?
My hands shake, and my heart beats out of my chest as the knocking gets louder and louder.
I'm frozen in this spot. I can’t even open it, just seeing his handwriting after all this time brings tears to my eyes.
I miss him so much. I just wish it were me instead of him in that car wreck.
He didn't deserve to die and leave this world, he was too good a man and a father. He truly was the best dad.
“Are you sure you want to attend Lockridge next year?” my father asks as I sit at my desk, filling out the application.
“Yes, Dad. Can we afford it?” I ask, and he rolls his eyes.
“You don’t need to worry yourself about that. Wherever my princess wants to go, she will go,” he states, kissing my forehead.
“Are you sure? You know I have ears right? I can hear you and mom arguing about money,” I tell him, and his eyes widen a fraction, but then he schools his features and smiles down at me.
“When you are an adult and out on your own, you will understand that sometimes we don’t always agree with our partners and it’s okay.
But I assure you, money isn’t an issue right now.
Listen, Princess. I gotta run. My flight leaves soon and I don’t want to miss it.
Will you be okay without us for a couple of days? ” he asks, and I nod.
“Yeah, Dad. I’ll be fine,” I say, but I hate when he leaves, especially when he leaves me alone with mom. Luckily, this time they are both going together.
“Okay. I’m going to leave you the Amex. You know what you’re allowed to spend. I’ll see you in a few days. Love you, RowRow,” he says.
“I love you too, Dad,” I say as he leaves my room.
Suddenly, the fire alarm blares, thrusting me back into the present and I shove the envelope in my desk drawer, grab my phone and hoodie, and run out of my room. The second I open the door, I’m grabbed and shoved down the hallway to the exit.
“What the fuck. Let go of me,” I yell but he presses me up against the door, wrapping his hand over my mouth.
“I had to do something to get your attention.” Kade smirks, and I knee him in the nuts. He immediately lets me go and I run out the side door. I look back over my shoulder and see him cupping his nuts and stumbling. I laugh as I run, not giving a fuck for the first time in a long time.