Chapter 29
Blood whooshed and rang in Lucy’s ears and her brain spun in panic. Why had the doctor asked her mother and Faith to leave? And why was she standing before her looking so worried? Was she about to give Lucy bad news – some kind of life-changing diagnosis?
‘Lucy, how are you feeling?’ Dr Cauldwell asked in a tone laced with concern. Her voice sounded thin, like stretched elastic, as though she was holding something back.
‘I-I’m fine,’ she replied as brightly as she could, hoping to stave off the bad news the doctor wanted to break to her.
‘I’m sure you got a fright tonight, but I think we might have found out why you collapsed,’ she said in a measured tone.
‘Have you?’ she asked, feeling petrified about what she was going to be told.
‘When was your last period, Lucy?’
‘I-I’m not sure … it’s been a few weeks…’ She racked her brain, trying to remember. Usually she knew her cycle to the day, but in the trauma of leaving Kyle and then losing Elizabeth, she had lost track. ‘Maybe even a couple of months. They’re not very regular.’
‘Well, you fainted this evening because you’re pregnant. Sometimes blood pressure can dip a little in the early weeks, which seems to be what happened to you this evening.’
Lucy was stunned. Those were not the words she had expected to hear. Was she still unconscious and this was a dream? Maybe she was under a general anaesthetic, and this was a hallucination or some kind of sick joke?
‘Pr-pregnant,’ she stuttered. ‘But that’s impossible…’
Dr Cauldwell smiled. ‘I assure you that you are. I’d estimate that you’re around seven or eight weeks, but an obstetrician will confirm that in due course.’
Lucy began to cry as the shock overwhelmed her.
Dr Cauldwell sat down on the end of the bed. ‘Is this an unplanned pregnancy?’ she asked sympathetically. ‘If it is, then don’t panic because you have options. You’re under twelve weeks so there’s still time to decide what you want to do.’
‘No, no, it’s not that…’ she said quickly.
She didn’t want Dr Cauldwell to utter another word.
How could she ever consider doing anything like that to her much-longed-for baby, even if the circumstances were far from ideal?
‘I’ve been trying to get pregnant for the last three years,’ she explained. ‘We even did IVF and it didn’t work.’
The doctor broke into a smile. ‘Well, this is good news then, isn’t it?’
Just a few weeks ago, the news would have been the only thing Lucy wanted to hear, but now?
Instead of being overjoyed, she felt deflated and confused.
How many times had she over-analysed every twinge and possible symptom to work out if it might mean she was pregnant?
And now it had happened, and she hadn’t even realised!
And this was supposed to be a happy occasion.
She had spent so much time yearning to hear these words but she had pictured it so differently.
She had always imagined hearing this news with Kyle by her side: they would be holding hands, crying tears of joy, not like this.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Why did life have to be so difficult?
she lamented. Why did she finally get something she had desired with every fibre of her being, only to be doing it without the man she loved by her side?
Her marriage was over, and she wasn’t hopeful it could be salvaged – even by something as momentous as this.
And she was only in the early weeks; there were so many things that could still go wrong.
What if she told Kyle that she was pregnant and they reunited, only for her to lose the baby?
Where would that leave them? She wanted him to be by her side because he loved her, not out of obligation.
‘I know it’s a lot to process,’ Dr Cauldwell said sympathetically. ‘Do you want me to call your mother and sister back in?’
She nodded tearfully, desperate to see a friendly face. ‘Yes, please.’
The doctor nodded and left the room and soon after Madeleine and Faith hurried back in.
‘Lucy, what on earth’s the matter?’ Madeleine rushed over, ashen with panic upon seeing her daughter’s tearful face.
‘Are you okay?’ Faith asked, hurrying after her.
‘I-I’m pregnant,’ Lucy sobbed.
‘You’re pregnant,’ Madeleine repeated in disbelief. ‘Wow, but … that’s brilliant news!’
‘Oh my God, sis!’ Faith squealed. ‘Did you have any idea?’
‘It’s a complete shock. My periods have always been irregular, so I didn’t really notice I hadn’t had one in a while, and I guess after losing Nanna, I’ve been so distracted that I didn’t suspect a thing. Normally I’d be watching every little sign… I can’t actually believe it.’
‘Well, congratulations, darling, I’m so happy for you,’ Madeleine gushed. She turned to Faith as the realisation dawned on her. ‘I’m going to be a grandmother!’
Lucy started to cry even harder at this.
‘But why are you crying? This is great news!’ Faith cried, squeezing her into a hug. ‘I know how much you’ve wanted this.’
‘But it wasn’t supposed to be this way. Kyle and I are finished, and I don’t want to do it on my own,’ Lucy wept.
‘But doesn’t this change everything? Kyle will be overjoyed when you tell him. I’m sure you can resolve all your differences. Come on, Lucy,’ Madeleine cajoled.
‘Yes, Kyle loves you, this is good news,’ Faith chimed in.
Lucy shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. I don’t want him to try to save our marriage for all the wrong reasons.’
‘It wouldn’t be for the wrong reasons! It’s because you’ve got a little baby on the way.’
Lucy started to cry even harder.
Madeleine and Faith looked at one another in bewilderment.
‘Look,’ Madeleine said, ‘it’s been an eventful evening.
I think we’re all a bit tired and emotional.
The doctors have said they are happy to let you go home now they’ve got to the bottom of why you fainted.
Let’s get you back to the village and into bed.
After a good night’s sleep, I promise you things won’t seem so bad. ’