Chapter Fifty-Four #2
Tucking my hands into my pockets, I watch every expression that rolls over her face as her eyes move across the page. I see confusion, sadness, and then something softer. Pity, I think. Somehow, that feels worse, because that bastard certainly doesn’t deserve an ounce of Maddie’s pity.
After a minute, Maddie sighs, pushing herself quietly out of her office chair before she walks toward the wall of windows that overlook the city much like the ones in the living room.
Frowning, I pick up the letter instinctively and read over it only once. It’s exactly as I expected, and I could kick myself with regret for not having shredded it before Maddie caught wind of it.
With a heapload of regret and excuses, I scoff as I read over lines such as “I lost myself,” or “I still love you,” and the ridiculous, “you made me want to be better.” They’re all just words.
There isn’t an ounce of accountability, and the obsession he harbors for Maddie is very clear in every line he’s written.
But the worst one yet is the last line he’s scrawled at the end.
I hope you can one day remember me with the good memories we shared.
It’ll be a cold day in hell when that happens. I, along with the others, plan on ensuring Maddie doesn’t hold on to a single memory left behind from her time with Toby. In fact, we’re going to make it our personal mission.
Teeth clenching tightly enough that I’m sure I’m doing some form of damage my dentist won’t be too pleased about, I scrunch the letter up before popping the lid on Maddie’s smoothie cup and stuffing the letter inside.
I even reattach the lid, shaking what’s left of the smoothie inside until the letter is fully submerged. It’s no fire or dog piss, but it’ll do.
When my head finally rises, I find Maddie watching me with her hand covering her mouth, her blue eyes glittering with amusement. The tiredness I saw before is gone, her shoulders are no longer slumped, and I know for certain that my manic little pixie is hiding her smile from me.
“What?” I ask innocently. “Were you not done with that?”
I’m sure I hear a laugh behind that hand, but she coughs to cover it, stealing the music from my ears. That’s okay, I’ll still call myself victorious for lifting her spirits slightly.
Flashing her the smile I know she enjoys, I take a seat in her office chair before holding my hands out toward her.
Maddie doesn’t hesitate to accept the invite I’m offering, silently climbing straight into my lap as though it’s an automatic response.
Like she belongs there. Which, honestly, she does.
There’s no other place I’d rather have her.
Wrapping my arms around her waist as she curls against my chest like a kitten, I listen to her sigh deeply before I murmur, “How’re you holding up, trouble? Truthfully? You okay?”
“Mhm,” she answers, and I can’t be sure if it’s a lie or not.
She must realize that, because she adds a quick follow-up.
“I’m good. Now that I know he’s going away for thirty years and won’t be a bother anymore, I can move on.
I just needed to absorb it today so it finally sank in, you know?
That letter was a heaping pile of steamed shit, but I didn’t expect anything more. Do you feel better for drowning it?”
“Mhm,” I answer, and she laughs again, unobstructed and free this time. The sound wraps around my heart and squeezes tight, imprinting itself there for all eternity.
I’m only distracted when she mutters, “Anyway, Caiden threatened me today.”
I blink.
And then I blink again, because what?
“That… okay? I’m not sure if that’s related to the conversation we were just having,” I admit, confused by the switch-up and the new topic of conversation.
Maddie snorts before she nuzzles her nose into my neck and explains, “Yup. He stood in the kitchen wielding a spatula like a weapon, pointing it at me like a disappointed mom trying to control four unruly children all under the age of five. He said I was to pack my suitcase tonight or else he would do it himself. Are we going somewhere? And what should I pack? Heaven knows Caiden would only pack my gym clothes if I allowed him free rein of my luggage.”
A laugh slips out of my mouth before I can stop it, and I shake my head as I say, “You know the man well.”
“I sure do,” she says, and something in her voice tells me there’s an underlying meaning behind those words. And sure enough, it very quickly dawns on me that there isn’t an ounce of surprise in her.
Narrowing my eyes, I pull back to stare at her, eyeing the innocent look on her face that I don’t believe for one second.
After all, this is the same woman who chased me around my own living room with a penis bottle opener tucked in her pants like her very own packer, which has somehow found a home on her bookcase in her office.
This is the very same woman who threw a bottle of lube out of a window and wished hell upon it after it ruined her masturbation session.
The exact same woman who almost caused a seagull apocalypse from a single chip.
The one who is convinced we will suffer an invasion of sentient beings shaped as vehicles, who loves her car as though it’s her child, and who has a passion for life like no other I’ve ever seen before.
There isn’t an innocent bone in her small body, and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what it is she’s hiding. After all, Maddie is just as observant as I am.
“You know, don’t you?” I ask her blandly, raising an eyebrow as I look down at her.
“Know what?” she queries, blue eyes now filling with a glittering amusement that gives her away faster than any word she could utter.
“Don’t play coy with me, trouble. You can’t fool me. When did you find out?” I push, poking her waist and drawing a small squeak from her.
Slowly, a sassy grin grows on her face and she declares, “Caiden isn’t as secretive as he thinks he is, handsome.
I knew he was up to something after I suffered through the grueling interview that almost made me feel like a travel criminal.
He’s been asking endless questions about my two-week vacation ever since I announced that I won it.
When I last spoke about where I’d like to travel, the guy was tapping away at his cell like he was in a bidding war and losing.
Then I overheard a phone call that sounded very much like he was booking something for those two weeks.
I’m no genius by any stretch of the word, Ry, but I know a plan when I see one. ”
I can do nothing but stare at her for a long moment, wondering why the hell we allowed Caiden to be in charge of the surprise.
Sure, it was meant as a ploy to ensure she stuck to us like glue, but then things changed and we simply wanted to be with her on those two weeks, whether she traveled or remained here.
“Mhm, that’s the face of a man who is second-guessing his life choices. Who put Caid in charge? And why are we all going away during those two weeks off? Where are we even going?” she starts, popping off question after question, and I can’t help the laugh that sneaks out.
“It was Caid’s idea, we simply gave him free rein.
We’re going away because we wanted to spend time with you, and I told the guys I convinced you to go away.
However, I won’t be telling you where we’re going.
That can be the surprise,” I answer, leaning in to kiss the sudden pout that appears on her lips.
As anticipated, she melts against me, and I smile against her mouth.
When she pulls back, it’s only to mutter suggestively, “What are we doing on vacation? Anything fun?”
“Your mind is full of filth, Madison Fowler,” I sigh as though I’m put off by it, but I end up kissing her hard and fast.
The cheeky little minx laughs loudly against me, slinging her arms over my shoulders, and it’s not one of those forced laughs. It’s real, it’s bright, and it’s all Maddie. God, I love that sound.
And the realization lands so naturally that I almost miss it.
With her sitting in my lap while the glowing city light spills through the office window, it hits me all at once.
My chest stumbles, my pulse skitters, and my brain locks in so fast that I feel momentarily light-headed.
There isn’t a single version of my future, not a moment in my life, that doesn’t have her in it.
She’s it for me, from now until the end, and the thought strikes me deeper than I ever could have imagined.
Pulling away, I cup Maddie’s face and run my gaze over every inch of her beautiful features. I swallow hard as I soak in the sweet, dopey look on her face, and whisper, “Maddie.”
“Hm?” she answers immediately, her pretty blue eyes peering up at me with what feels like an echoing emotion to all things running rampant within me.
I brush my fingers along her cheek, skimming the mark left over from the ring box Toby threw at her, and whatever she sees on my face makes her expression soften so much that my heart almost stops.
The words simply fly out of me in the next breath, unrestrained and quite possibly the realest thing I’ve ever said. “I love you, trouble.”
There’s no hesitation, no fear, just the plain truth, and I feel it all the way to my bones.
Maddie goes still against me for all of maybe half a second before a grin sculpted from the gods appears on her face. Her expression melts into something else entirely, so warm it nearly disintegrates me on the spot.
And then she whispers, “I know.”
Shocked laughter bursts out of me, my head falling back right after I catch the goofy grin Maddie wears. I’m breathless by the time the last chuckle leaves me, and I blurt, “I can’t tell if you’re that confident or cocky.”
Maddie shrugs, playing with the hair at the nape of my neck.
“Neither. You just make it very obvious that you’re in love with me, handsome.
It’s a subtle love that you only notice if you pay attention, and I pay very close attention to each of you.
From folding my clothes to buying me dinner to tickling my back even when I don’t ask.
It’s in the small but meaningful things. So, yeah, I know you love me.”
I’m rendered speechless, shocked she notices things like that, even though I shouldn’t be. Nothing gets past Maddie.
She presses her forehead against mine, still smiling that heart-melting smile, and she softly confesses, “And I love you right back, Ry.”
The office suddenly feels very small, incredibly warm, and my chest aches in the best possible way. I could cry if I didn’t have a better hold on my emotions.
Not that it would matter, because Maddie ruins it anyway when she whispers, “You know what this means, right?”
My mouth parts as I shake my head. “What?”
With a giddiness that only Maddie can make look endearing, she mutters, “If we get married, the dick bottle opener becomes a family heirloom. How neat is that? Our first piece of history, and it’s a wooden phallus I chased you with.
That thing fell out of my pants, Ry, and we’re going to pass it down to generations after us.
An antique like you’ve never seen before.
Imagine what the grandkids will say. ‘Hey, Meemaw, what’s the story with the vibrant wiener you keep on your mantelpiece? ’ I already yearn to share the tale.”
I stare at her for all of two seconds before I laugh so hard I nearly fall out of the fucking chair.
Oh, yeah. I love this woman.