Chapter Fifty-Five #2
The cemetery had been quiet when Rayne drove us to his mom’s final resting place.
It was peaceful, the sun shining gloriously down on the headstones that looked very well kept, several flowers placed on countless graves.
Rayne had brought me there alone, the others choosing to hang out at the hotel’s restaurant until we were ready to return.
He wasn’t pressured, and he didn’t seem nervous exactly, just…
quiet. It was a thoughtful quiet in a way he gets when something matters to him.
And I was beyond the scope of being honored that he wanted to introduce me to the only other person he’s ever truly loved in his life.
Rayne hadn’t stayed with me the entire time, either.
After introducing me softly in Korean, he stepped away to give me privacy while I sat cross-legged on the grass.
A photo of his mom was attached to her gravestone, a beautiful Korean woman with eyes the exact same shade as Rayne’s, and I spent a whole hour talking to a woman I would never get to meet.
The moment I started talking, the words just flew out of me.
I told her anything and everything. About how kind and incredible her son is, how gently he loves, and how funny he is once he’s comfortable enough to lower the walls he’s built around himself.
I told her he loves in careful pieces at first, only offering himself in small doses, and then suddenly it’s huge and overwhelming.
I told her he still worries too much, that he apologizes when there’s no need for it, and that he looks at the people he loves like he’s still terrified they might disappear if he turns his back for too long.
Eventually, with tears burning behind my eyes in an unexpected turn of events, I offered her a promise I will keep long after I’m done walking this earth.
“I’ll take care of him. I’ll love him with my entire being. He’s safe with me.”
That memory settles in my heart with a warmth that makes me smile, a gentle ache forming in my chest as I remember the soul-stealing smile Rayne gave me when he returned.
It was almost as though he heard every word I spoke, though I never asked, content to live with the unknowing.
So long as he knows he’s mine and I protect what’s mine, that’s all that matters.
Those memories lead to our conversation later that night, when I casually mentioned I would happily meet all of their families whenever they were ready.
Ryan almost died on the spot, inhaling his drink and swallowing it all wrong, and I snickered when I announced, “Christmases are going to be fucking crazy, guys.”
Caiden looked like Santa had just fallen into his lap with a whole sack of gifts only for him, and he was very quick to declare, “First Christmas at Maddie’s parents’ house. I’m calling it.”
Bax looked concerned with the level of happiness that was practically pouring off Caid, and Rayne was simply content to look at me with that soft expression that still makes my chest feel full and happy. It’s like he can’t quite believe I’m actually real.
That thought follows me later that night as I sit cross-legged on the hotel bed, scrolling through photos the guys have sent in our group chat over the past three days. The guys are all lounging around me, crowding me lazily, warm limbs literally everywhere.
Bax is stretched behind me, his back leaning against the headboard of the bed while I lean back between his legs.
Ryan is sitting beside me with one arm resting along my thigh.
Caiden is lying upside down across the foot of the bed, the never-ending gannet stealing fries from the room service cart we had delivered.
And Rayne is on my other side, his head resting on my stomach as his fingers brush gently along my bare leg absentmindedly.
It’s pure domestic chaos, and I love every second of it.
“That’s one of my favorites,” Bax murmurs softly when I swipe to a photo of me standing under the cherry blossom trees, face tilted toward the sun with my eyes closed as I soak in the warmth. He took it yesterday, snapping the photo as pale petals tangled in my light-blue hair.
I swipe again, and Ryan leans closer to mutter, “I should take up a profession in photography, because those are works of art.”
Snorting, I eye the photo and shake my head. “It’s literally just me holding shirts to my tits.”
“Exactly. Works of art,” he repeats, shooting me in the chest with his charming grin, and I laugh before looking down at the photo again. It’s kind of cute, since I was totally unaware of him taking photos while I was shopping for clothes as though I didn’t already have a closet full at home.
“You just liked watching me spend money,” I argue playfully, still slightly irritated that he didn’t let me pay for my clothes, insisting that he wanted to spoil me while we were on vacation.
At this rate, my bank account is simply going to keep accumulating hefty amounts of money with nothing for me to spend it on, because all four of these guys are very trigger-happy with their credit cards.
Ryan nods and simply states, “You’d be right.”
I’m shaking my head as I swipe to the next photo, only to stop and laugh. Hard.
I know exactly who took these photos, because every single one is either me stuffing my face with food, me in the middle of laughing at something goofy Caid has said, or me aggressively pointing at all the snacks I want to try.
Hell, there’s one photo Caiden managed to snap of me halfway through shoveling tteokbokki into my mouth while glaring at the man behind the camera.
“Delete that. Immediately,” I instruct.
“Never,” Caiden says proudly, even going as far as to reach his hand over my cell to favorite the photo. “That’s wifey right there.”
“Jesus Christ,” Bax snickers, his chest shaking with his laughter, bobbing my head up and down along with it.
Caid swipes away from the photo before I can delete it, only for it to land on another unflattering photo. He laughs as he falls back to his position on the end of the bed, and I stab him with my foot, grinning over at the idiot with so much love in my heart that I feel like it’s about to burst.
I’m only distracted from it when Rayne reaches over me and scrolls farther down the gallery, stopping on the bathroom selfies he took of us. “These are good.”
Fresh out of the shower, his wet hair pushed back from his face while I sit on the vanity in one of his shirts, smiling sleepily at the camera.
I remember I’d been yapping the whole time he was in the shower, and he listened and answered when he needed to.
I remember falling in love all over again when I realized I was receiving everything from these guys that Toby never gave me.
Rayne swipes again, and there’s another photo where he’s kissing my cheek as fog steams the mirror behind us. My chest softens instantly, my smile aching my cheeks at this rate, and it only worsens when I swipe to the next image.
I slap a hand over my mouth when I see Rayne’s horror-filled face as he finally finds the tramp stamp on my lower back.
The drunken regret that holds third place in my list of my life’s regrets.
I honestly don’t know how we managed to go this long without him ever seeing it.
I mean, he’s had me naked more times than the shower has, and yet it was only at that very moment that he finally caught sight of the lightning bolt that looks suspiciously like a sperm etched into my skin.
Just the sight of Rayne’s wide eyes and parted mouth makes me laugh so suddenly and violently that I startle myself.
Well, myself and Caiden, who almost falls off the bed as he yells, “What? What is it?”
I can barely breathe, tears blurring my eyes as I shove my phone at the guys. I’m laughing so hard that I can’t see anything, so it’s only when I hear Baxter laugh, Ryan face-palm, and Caid wheezing so hard that I worry for his lungs that I know they’ve seen the photo.
When I wipe my eyes and look down at Rayne, I find a look of exhaustion on his face that makes me laugh again. With a flat tone, he grumbles, “You told me it was small.”
“It is small, in the grand scheme of things,” I argue through lingering chuckles.
“Whoever put that on you should be charged with a felony of some sort,” he tells me, sighing as he zooms in on the blurry photo of my little sperm bolt.
Snickering still, I quip, “It has personality, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, the personality of a crackhead who sells ketamine behind a 7-Eleven dumpster,” he responds, only making me laugh harder. He points a finger at the offending ink and promises, “I’m fixing it.”
“With what?” I wonder, genuinely curious.
“Literally anything, mayhem,” he answers, blowing out a harsh breath. “Anything is better than that shit.”
Caid wipes tears from his eyes, finding just as much humor in it as I do, before he says, “Bro. Your face. You’re looking at it like it personally offended your ancestors and their ancestors before them.”
“That’s because it did,” Rayne says seriously, glaring at us all as we continue to laugh.
Jesus Christ, I love these guys.
Not for the first time do my thoughts flitter back to that reminder, and I finally calm down enough to relax against Baxter.
I’m still smiling when Ryan brushes my blue hair back from my face with visible adoration, and I smile back at him, wondering once again how the hell I got so lucky to have found these four men who have stolen my heart so thoroughly that I’m sure they possess a piece each.
With those thoughts filling my mind, I peer outside the hotel windows, seeing Seoul as it glows under the endless sky of stars.
Inside the hotel, all five of us end up tangled beneath the blankets while Caiden starts trying to decipher exactly what the tattoo is supposed to be.
He’ll be guessing for a long time, because even though I think it’s supposed to be a lightning bolt, I can’t actually be sure.
I don’t even remember asking for a tattoo, let alone what it was meant to look like.
“You have to admit, it’s kind of iconic,” he argues, nodding like he’s impressed.
“If you say so,” Rayne grumbles, nuzzling his face into my stomach.
“It definitely builds character,” Bax snickers, kissing the top of my head sweetly.
“You pronounced concern wrong,” Ryan injects, and I rest my head on his shoulder with a sleepy grin, squeezing the hand he’s slid into mine.
Somewhere between the laughter, the teasing, and the warmth of all four of them surrounding me, I realize something important. Something vital and life-changing.
All it would have taken was different neighbors for my life to look much different from the chaos, warmth, and comfort it’s filled with now.
From the home it now feels like. I used to think soulmates were a movie concept not meant for the real world, the only thing I’ve ever seen as close to it coming from my parents.
Suddenly, four men moved into the apartment below mine, flipped my whole life inside out, and turned an idea into a reality.
Looking back, I guess I should have known my life was about to derail like an unstable train the moment they found me squeezed into the tub like someone tried to origami a human woman.
It’s definitely a ride I never want to step off, though.
Because where some people find love stories in fate and destiny and grand gestures, I found mine in a bottle of spicy lube, a penis-shaped bottle opener, and a morning that will forever go down as the best regret of my life.
And that’s how I met my neighbors.
Wait, no. That’s how I found the four pieces of my heart and soul.
Yeah, that’s more like it.