CHAPTER 7
Mick
The last couple of days have been uneventful in comparison to the beginning of the week.
My girl’s been cleaning and cooking up a storm.
She made me breakfast, dinner, and brought me lunch both days.
She’s also shown me just how much she enjoys exploring sex.
I know I’m one lucky son of a bitch to get to be the recipient of all of it, but I know part of it’s ’cause she doesn’t know what to do with herself.
She’s in limbo, trying to figure out what she wants to do work-wise.
I know she’s still mad at the guys and Kierstie, but I think she’s worked through a lot of her hurt and anger toward Ma and Pa and just doesn’t know how to get herself unstuck and talk to them.
I’m smart enough not to get in between her anger and her siblings ’cause that’s shit they need to work through but fuck if I don’t want to help to mend things between her and her parents.
I know how much they mean to her and how much she goes to them for advice.
I think they could help her figure out what she wants to do, ’cause I don’t think I’m much help in that department.
Maybe Grant will have some ideas.
He’s a parent, after all.
I know he’s got an appointment today so he should be in soon.
I’m in the middle of working up a design for a client I have later this week when the back door opens, and Grant walks in with a large cup of coffee in his hand.
“Long night?”
He shakes his head.
“Nah, just haven’t slept much the last couple of nights.”
I get a better look at him and I could swear he’s got a half-grin going.
“Do I wanna know why you haven’t slept?”
He gives me a full-on grin.
“Probably not.”
I can’t help but shake my head.
“As long as it ain’t that guy who wanted to call you Daddy and would offer me a blow job every time he saw me.”
Grant full-on laughs in my face at that.
“It’s definitely not him, though if you’re hard up, I can give you his number.”
I can’t help my response.
“First off, fuck you.
Secondly, I’m a very satisfied man these days and I don’t see that changing ever.
You can keep that number for your fucking self, asshole.”
Fucker.
It’s his turn to make a face.
“I’ve known both of you since you were born and I don’t wanna think about any of that.”
I must raise my eyebrow at him.
“Alright, no more teasin’ you with my exes.
No, this ain’t him.
It’s… it’s more, but I ain’t quite ready to talk about it yet.”
I know he won’t say anything until he’s good and ready to.
“You don’t have to share nothin’ you don’t want to.
I can tell by your face that it’s good whatever it is.
That’s all that fucking really matters.
I was actually hoping to pick your brain before your appointment gets here.
Got a couple of minutes?”
He goes over to his station to start prepping it.
“Yeah, but even if he arrives, it’s cool to talk.
It’s Chewie coming in to finish his back piece and I’m sure Oz will be with him.” Hmmm.
“I think Mads-er Madison is ready to talk to Ma and Pa but needs a nudge to get out of her head.
I don’t know how to do that without pissing her off.
I feel like she’s teetering and just needs a gentle push to go talk to them.”
The bell above the door dings, letting us know someone just walked in.
Grant looks up and tells me, “I think the answer to your problem just walked in the door.”
I can tell both of them heard Grant and their faces are full of confusion.
Oz looks at both of us.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been an answer to a problem.
I’m usually more likely the cause of one.”
Chewie busts out laughing.
“You and me both.”
Grant rolls his eyes at them and waves Chewie over to his table.
“Listen, fuckers.
I’ve got plans later so get your shirt off and let’s get this done.
Oz, my boy over there has a problem that you’re more likely able to help him with than just about anyone else in this town.
Hell, maybe the state.”
He grabs one of the chairs in the waiting area and turns it around, sitting down and leaning his arms on the back of it.
“Color me intrigued.
How can I possibly help ya?”
I set my pen down and turn the stool to face him.
“It’s Mads-er Madison.”
I can tell he’s surprised.
“Is she okay? She ain’t hurt or nothing, is she? Wait, how can I help? She break the law and need to run or—”
I stop his questioning by holding up my hand.
“Nah, she ain’t hurt.
As far as anyone in law enforcement knows, she ain’t broken any laws.”
I rehash the whole story of her being taken, us finding her, and I give him the Cliffs Notes version of what she found out, what’s happened since, and how she along with Anna and the two girls from the compound took care of the problem.
He takes a breath and strokes his beard, trying to digest everything I just told him.
“Well, shit.
Y’all have had a busy week.
Now which part are you needing help with? I ain’t gonna help with anything between her and Kierstie.
I like my body as it is, thank you very fucking much.”
Both Grant and I laugh at that.
No man would want to wade in between them when they’re arguing.
No sir.
“Nah, I wouldn’t do that to anyone, not even an enemy.”
He looks honestly relieved at that.
“Need help with… dispatching them? ’Cause I thought after the last bonfire that we all learned that—”
I stop him again.
“Nah, that’s all been taken care of.
I was wonderin’ if you could talk to her.
I think inside she’s ready to talk to Ma and Pa but is stuck and doesn’t quite know how to admit to herself that she is and take that step.
She ain’t talking to any of her brothers either, right now, and I don’t know what to say to her.
We finally just got to an actual relationship between us and I – ”
It’s his turn to interrupt me.
“I got ya.
This, I think I can handle.”
He looks over at Chewie and Grant.
“You guys gonna be a couple hours again?”
Grant nods.
“Yep, you go get our girl straightened out.
We’ll be here a while.”
I give him her address and he heads out the door.
Fuck if it’s the right thing, but my gut says it is.
Grant must know I’m thinking about it ’cause he pipes up.
“Oz is the right one for that.
When he stayed at Jonah and Linnea’s, he and Mads always had a special relationship.
He was the one to make sure she was included in shit and all.
He’s the right guy.
Remember, young one, Rabbit is good, Rabbit is wise.” Fuck me.
Madison
Sitting at my dining table, I look at the spread of books and magazines in front of me.
Every one of them has great ideas for careers or businesses, but not one of them is something that I can do or interests me.
Why the hell can’t I figure out what I wanna do with my life? I wanna find my passion, the thing that makes it go from a job to something I love doing.
I’ve gone through all of these and not one job stands out to me.
Could I do some of them? Sure, but if it’s not gonna be something I could do for a long time, I might as well go back to cleaning till I figure that out.
A knock at the door gets me out of my head.
I don’t know who could be here since just about everyone I know should be at work at this time of the morning.
I go to the door and look out the window. “Lyndon?”
What the hell is he doing here? I unlock the door and open it.
I can’t help the smile when I’m engulfed in a hug.
“It’s me, little one.”
How’d the hell he know where I live?
“How? I mean, I’m happy to see ya, but how’d you find out where I live and that I’d be home?”
He lets me go and I let him into the house.
“I was over at the tattoo shop and Mick mentioned you were home.”
I have a seat on the sofa next to the chair he just sat down in.
I must give him a look ’cause he continues.
“He told me about everything that’s happened in the last week.
You’ve been busy, little one.”
My sass must need to come out because I roll my eyes and open my mouth without even thinking.
“No shit, Sherlock.”
Oh fuck.
I didn’t mean to sass him.
Lyndon bursts out laughing.
“If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought I came to visit Kierstie with that comment.”
I can’t help the blush that must be covering my entire face.
Good lord girl, get yourself together .
“Lyndon-er, Oz, I’m sorry! You didn’t deserve that.
I don’t even know where that came from.”
He still chuckles and shakes his head at me.
“You and Ma are the only two who still call me Lyndon and I like it.
Oz just ain’t right coming from you.
I know you’re all grown up, but in here…”
He points to his noggin then his heart.
“You’re still the little girl who liked to be read to and just wanted someone to listen to her for a few minutes.
You were the calm in the wonderful chaos that was that house.
I loved the chaos and I loved spending time reading to you.
It was one of the things I missed the most when I was sent back to my parents.”
I remember the day he left.
“The day after you left, I hid in my closet with my teddy bear and the last book you read me.
Pa found me right before dinner.”
I remember what he said to this day.
“He told me every person who comes into our life, even for a short time, leaves an impression.
Only the gods know if they’re meant to be a part of it again or not, but that we can learn from every relationship no matter how brief.
He helped me see that with you, I should always treasure that you gave me the gift of time—your time.
I know what he means now, but I didn’t get it as a kid.”
Lyndon looks at me the same way he did back then.
He was always willing to wait to let me figure out my thoughts, never rushing me to hurry up and say what I needed to.
I shrug my shoulders ’cause I’m not sure if my words are gonna really make sense with what’s in my head.
“You were a teenager then.
You could’ve spent all your time with your friends or even with Jon, Juan, and Rory since they’re closer to your age.
I was just a little girl who took up your time almost every night.
You don’t know what that still means to me.
You made me feel seen.”
He looks at me with a small smile.
“I think people have seen you, but you’re in a family with a lot of loud individuals, and they don’t know how to be quiet if they tried.
Hell, the only time the dinner table was quiet was when Ma brought out the lefse stick and threatened to smack the lot of us.”
He’s right.
“That kinda brings me to why I came over.”
He leans forward, putting his elbows on his knees.
“Heard what happened and that you’re not talkin’ to Ma and Pa.
Heard you ain’t talkin’ to any of your siblings either.”
I nod, ’cause I can tell he’s got more to say.
“I ain’t gonna get in the middle and try to get Kierstie or any of the guys to talk to you.
That’s on them and you to figure out.
I do think you should probably go talk to Ma and Pa, though.”
I sigh like I’ve been hanging around Ry or something.
“Do you know why I was taken away from my parents and put with Ma and Pa to begin with?”
I shake my head.
“I never really ever found out why kids were placed with us.
I don’t think I even knew anyone’s story till I was at least a teenager.
Ma always said the why wasn’t important.
It was our job to be family to them for however long they stayed with us, even if it was just a couple of days.
I do remember hoping that you’d end up sticking around forever and be adopted, but I didn’t get my wish.”
Lyndon gives me a little grin.
“No you didn’t, but back then, I really wanted that to happen.
My folks were into getting their next score.
They were both drug addicts and would leave me alone at home to go find their next hit.
This happened a lot.
I don’t really know what they did for money, probably nothing legal, and maybe even sold some of what didn’t end up going in their veins or up their noses.
My mom was with it enough at some point to get us signed up for assistance.
I knew at the beginning of the month, there was always gonna be food in the house since they couldn’t spend it on anything but food.
By the time I was six, I could make myself a sandwich, or a frozen dinner.
This went on for most of my childhood when I was with them.
I had a few teachers and neighbors over the years who were concerned enough that they would report my parents.
Neglect is hard to prove, but it was a few times, so I was placed in my first foster home at six.
Ma and Pa’s house made number seven.
Every time I was taken away, Mom would lose the assistance and get herself clean enough to show the courts that she was ready and prepared to take care of me again.
She would do alright and stay mostly clean for six months, sometimes almost a year.
Then Dad would pop up from wherever he’d been and within a couple of days, she’d be higher than a kite.
The last time I went back home with them was from Ma and Pa’s.
When Mom went back to using the next time, I packed up and left.
I was seventeen by then and knew she wasn’t ever gonna stay clean for long.
I wasn’t hit and abused like some of the kids that came to Ma and Pa.
My parents couldn’t quit using long enough to remember they had a son.”
He continues and I can feel the tears building.
“I know you’re hurt that they didn’t tell you about your biological father, but can you see that was to protect you? That sorry excuse for a man was the reason Ma was hurt and contributed to you never meeting your grandma.
She did what she thought was best and hell, it might have been your biological mom’s wishes.
Pa, I’m sure, went along with it ’cause he didn’t want to see either of you deal with any unnecessary pain.
All Joseph gave you was his DNA.
He was your sperm donor.
That’s fucking it, Madison.
Pa is your dad.
He’s what a dad is supposed to be and he still loves you beyond words to this day.”
The tears fall now and I don’t even try to stop them.
“I know he does.
He’s amazing.
So is Ma. I just—”
He holds his hand up to stop me.
“Ma would do anything for any of you.
Hell, she’d do it for any of us who lived there at some point.
She’s got more love and heart in her pinky finger than most people have in their whole bodies.
I get that you’re hurt she didn’t tell you, especially after the night we learned about her past, but maybe she had a good reason.
Maybe your birth mother asked her to never tell you.
You know Ma.
If that’s the case, it went into the vault and wasn’t ever coming out.”
Fuck, he’s got a point.
“Maybe she didn’t tell you ’cause any mention of that bastard brings back memories that she’s not prepared to deal with.
Just think about it.
It took all those years for her to be able to tell us what happened.
Can you imagine everything that went unspoken?”
Oh, I’m a horrible daughter.
Tears continue falling down my cheeks.
“I’m so selfish.
I never thought about it from her side.
I just felt like they were keeping things from me and they were two more people who didn’t think I could handle things.
Like everyone thought I was always about to break.
Then after I went up the mountain with the girls and Anna, I was afraid she’d think less of me ’cause I didn’t let the guys handle things.
But I needed to do it.”
Lyndon looks at me like I’ve grown a second head or something.
He grabs my knee and squeezes it, like he needs to make sure he’s got my attention.
“Madison.
I know you don’t really believe that bullshit you just spewed.
You’re talking about Ma here.
She wouldn’t have hesitated to end anyone she thought hurt one of her kids.
She might not have pulled the trigger, but it’s the strength you got from her that helped you to have the courage and determination to go up there and handle things the way you did.
You and I both know I’m right.”
I just nod because I don’t have the words.
Lyndon stands up and reaches out to me, so I put my hand in his and stand up, taking the hug he offers me.
“So I think what we’re going to do is I’m going to go back to the shop and tell your man to relax, and you’re going to get in your car and go talk to Ma and Pa.
Whatcha say, little one?”
I give him one more squeeze before I nod.
“You’re going to make a lucky lady really happy one of these days, Lyndon.
You really do listen and pay attention.
That’s a rare breed of man that does that.”
I can feel him chuckle.
“Not sure I’m cut out for a relationship, little one.
If it ever does happen, she’ll have to be pretty awesome ’cause she’s gonna have to be approved by you and Ma.
I know you both can hold people up to some high standards, but they’re all about love and family which I couldn’t agree with more.”
He squeezes me one more time.
“We still good, little one?”
I let go of him and look up since he’s as tall as my other brothers.
“Yeah, of course we are.”
I wipe my tears off my face.
“Thank you for showing me I wasn’t looking at the whole picture.
You can go back to your friend.
You can also let Mick know I’m going over to Ma and Pa’s but I’ll be here afterward.”
I grab my keys and purse and follow Lyndon out.
He sighs after he gets on his bike and is holding his helmet in his hands.
“You know, I’m gonna always think of you as a little girl still, but if I had to pick a guy for you, it would be Mick.
I can see how much he loves you.
He looks at you like Pa looks at Ma.
What more could someone hope for? Tell Ma and Pa I’ll drop by soon to see them.”
I nod and wave goodbye as I get in my car and watch him take off on his bike.
**********
I stop in front of the house I grew up in.
“Get your shit together, girl.
There ain’t one good reason for you to be nervous.”
Great, now I’m talking out loud to myself.
I guess if I’m not arguing that’s at least something, right? I get out and head up the steps, knowing that at least one of them should be home.
I pause for a second in front of the door and wonder if I should knock.
What the hell am I doing? “Just open the fucking door and get the hell out of your head, girl.”
Yep, I’m losing my shit.
I open the door and walk in, listening for any sounds.
I hear the television going in the family room, so I walk over to the doorway that leads to the room where so many of my childhood memories were made.
I lean against the doorway as I see Ma in her chair reading and Pa watching the news from his chair.
I don’t say anything but watch them and realize they are the example of what love is in my mind—not Hollywood movies, television, romance books or country music, just them.
I can remember the nights Ma cooked for everyone and Pa kissing her on the cheek and thanking her each and every time.
The mornings where Pa brought Ma the big cup of coffee ’cause she’d had to stay up with a new foster arrival.
The times in the kitchen when a song would come on and Pa would twirl her around once and then dance with each of us girls.
I remember the look of love on Ma’s face when Pa did that.
I can’t help the tears that won’t blink away.
Barely above a whisper, I say the first thing that comes to mind.
“I’m sorry.”
I must say it loud enough ’cause Ma looks over with a very surprised look on her face. “Mads?”
She stands up so fast, I think she drops her book.
I can’t help that more tears are falling.
It’s like there’s a never-ending supply these days.
I hurry over to her and hug her.
“I’m so sorry! I’m sorry I got so mad and didn’t think about your feelings! I’m sorry I didn’t come over sooner! I’m so sorry!”
Her arms wrap around me.
“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t need to apologize to me.
You have every right to feel what you feel.
I know it seems like I was lying or hiding things from you, but I was only following your birth mother’s requests.
She only asked me for two things.
First was for Pa and me to adopt you and raise you to be a good person who understands what love and family mean.
The second was that I keep you away from everything evil up on the mountain.
Joseph was the center of all that evil.
I wasn’t trying to hide your story from you.
I just didn’t want that evil to touch you.
Even with my tryin’, it ended up catching up with you.
I hate that any of it touched you at all.
Then you had to go and be all bad ass and brave and go up that mountain and—”
I can’t help but interrupt Ma.
“I had to.
I know I was taught to let the club handle that kinda stuff, but Ma… I just couldn’t.
I needed to see with my own two eyes that those lugs who took me weren’t gonna be able to do that to anyone ever again.
I know they were just taking orders from Joseph, and to know I shared some of the same DNA as that fucking bastard… I had to do it.
I had to balance just a little bit of the bad that he brought to this world, especially what he let his men get away with. I—”.
My rambling is interrupted by Pa taking me out of Ma’s arms and looking me in the eyes, like he did when we were growing up and he was being very serious in trying to get his point across.
“Little one, listen to me and listen good.
You might have some of his DNA running through your veins but you are not responsible for anything that man did in his life.
You might have been created because that man took what he wanted, but that’s not any of your doing or any karma you need to worry about.
You are our daughter.
You’re a fucking Weston through and through.
You are more like your Ma than anyone I know.
Your heart is so full of love and the need to protect those you consider family.
You are stronger than anyone has given you credit for, me included.
When I saw you up on the mountain, I realized something.
In my head, all my kids have grown and they’re off living their own lives, but in my heart, I still thought of you as that quiet nine-year-old who I’d find reading in the closet at least a couple times a week.
I know in my head, you’ve been an adult for years, but in my heart, you were still my little one.
The woman I saw that day? She was a badass who has so much of her ma running through her veins that I felt the urge to make sure Mick really knows what he’s getting into.”
I can’t help but laugh at that plus the sound of the backhanded smack Ma landed on his stomach.
I reach up to dry the last of my tears.
“Pa, you know I can be both those things at once, right? I can be a grown woman who can take care of business when I feel it’s necessary and still be your little one.”
Pa engulfs me in his arms and hugs me tight.
“You will be my little one till my last breath leaves my body.
I may have to share you with Mick now, but since I know he’s head over heels for you, I guess I’ll be okay with that as long as he makes you happy.”
I squeeze him once more before I let him go and look up to the man who showed me what real men are supposed to be like.
“He does.
He gets me.
The me who can be quiet and in my head too much and the one who would sing karaoke with Kierstie on a random night out.”
Pa smiles and nods in Ma’s direction.
“You two go do that girl talkin’ that I know your Ma is dyin’ to do.
I’ve got my show about to be on and I’m gonna watch it before I head out on a ride.”
Ma grasps my hand and squeezes it.
“Why don’t you and I go into the kitchen and make some coffee.
We can talk about Mick and the other things I can see you’ve got swirling around in there.”
I follow her to the kitchen and get out the coffee mugs and creamer while she gets the coffee brewing.
Once it’s ready and we both have our coffee as we like it, I sit down across from her at the dining room table and wait for the first question to come.
Ma, in her infinite wisdom, asks one of the simplest questions, but the one that has the most complicated of answers.
“So what’s goin’ on in your mind, little one?”
She takes a sip of coffee before she continues.
“I know you’d rather not talk about yourself, but, Madison, sometimes we all gotta do that.
Start small and work your way up to the big one, whatever it is.”
I start by telling her about Mick and all the amazing things that have happened between us in the last few days.
Okay, I don’t tell her quite everything , but just about.
I realize in talking to her, I’ve missed her not only as my mom, but as one of my closest friends.
We talk about me trying to find out what I want to do work-wise.
She has a few ideas but tells me she’ll think on it some and mention it to Pa too.
She tells me that I’m expected at the next family dinner and Mick is too.
She gives me that look that only a mom can give and adds to it.
“I don’t care if you and your siblings ain’t talkin’ to each other, we’re family, and I expect all my kids to be here like they’re supposed to be.”
She sounds like Pa when she tells me, “I ain’t gonna get in between you guys.
Y’all need to figure that out on your own.
You’re grown-ups so I know you can do it.”
I get up and take our empty mugs to the sink to wash.
I must start pouting while I wash them and clean up the coffee pot, ’cause Ma speaks up from the table.
“Now, Madison, I ain’t sayin’ you’re in the wrong, but remember not one of us is perfect.
When they come to you, remember that they love you and keep an open ear and heart.”
I turn around and face her and nod, but know I need to use my words.
“I’ll remember.
I just don’t get how they think I’m that fragile or why I was that hard to talk to.
Was I really that far in my head for that many years?”
“Oh, little one, you were never fragile.
They’re wrong about that part.
Your strength might not be outwardly or in a way that it’s obvious, well till recently that is, but you’ve always been strong, just the quiet kind of strong.
In this family, there ain’t much quiet about anyone else so that’s different.
Kierstie, Ry, or Juan could never be described as being quiet a day in their life.
Even Max, Jon, and Rory aren’t so much quiet as they are observers before they decide to speak.
You’ve always been the thinker, the one who takes a while to decide things.
I remember for most of the kids, I always asked what they wanted for Christmas or their birthday just a couple weeks beforehand, ’cause I knew they would have a list of things.
You, I asked a month ahead of time ’cause I knew you would hem and haw about it and eventually bring me a neatly written list of three or four things that you had agonized about.
One way was no better than the other.
It’s just how you process things and that’s different from your siblings.
We’re all different, and that’s what makes us unique.
We’d be pretty damn boring if we were all the same, don’t ya think?”
I nod my agreement ’cause she’s right.
She stands up and walks over to me.
“Now, have you been so far in your head for years that we couldn’t talk to you or didn’t know how?”
I look right at her, realizing this is the question that I keep asking myself.
“No, you haven’t.
The first year to eighteen months after it happened and Rory went away, yeah, I’d say you were, or at least you were depressed about everything, but since then? No.
I don’t think you’ve been in your head or withdrawn.
I think the guys just haven’t adjusted to you being grown and that you and your sister, no matter how close you two are, are in fact very different people with very different personalities.
I think they each need to figure out and navigate an adult relationship with you.
It may take time, but I think if any of them reach out, be open and willing to listen.
They’re hurting too, even if they’re the ones who started this mess.”
She’s right.
I don’t know how she does it, but I swear Ma is always right.
“I’ll be open, Ma, I promise.”
She kisses my cheek and hugs me.
“Now, you’ve had a lot going on the last few days and we just dissected a lot of it.
You go home and read one of your books or watch one of your shows.
Tell Mick I said hi and he’s expected at family dinners from now on.”
I can’t help but smile at everyone’s acceptance of Mick and I finally becoming an us.
I yell out to Pa my goodbyes and head out the front door.
I’m halfway down the steps when I see a truck pull up.
Ry gets out and heads my way.
I can see the second he notices I’m here ’cause he takes a double step.
I’m not sure if I should just keep heading to my car or stop and talk to him.
He keeps coming till he’s right in front of me.
He sticks his boot-covered foot out and taps my foot with his. “Hey.”
I tap my foot back like we did when we were kids. “Hey.”
He sighs like the world is on his shoulders.
“You know I love you, right?”
I nod and let him continue.
“I don’t know how we got to this point and I hate that all this shit has gone down and we haven’t talked.
I mean, you’re my birthday buddy.”
I can’t help the laugh that comes out.
“I haven’t thought of that in years.
You being exactly one month older than me, but that meant you were a grade ahead of me like Kierstie, but Ma made us have our birthdays together.
I know now it’s ‘cause she was smart and didn’t wanna throw a party every month of the year.”
Ry smiles and shakes his head.
“Yeah, but do you remember the first one we shared after Ror and I came to live here?”
I try to think back but I’m not remembering it.
“We were what, like five or six?”
Ry sits down on the steps and I sit next to him.
“We were turning six.
Kierstie had been six for almost eleven months and acted like she was a big deal since she’d already been six for a while .”
We both chuckle at that memory.
“Yeah, she was always quick to remind us that she was older than us.
I remember when you and Rory showed up, I thought I might finally not be the youngest, but then you just had to be a month older.
At least when Max came and stayed, I knew I wouldn’t be the baby anymore.”
Ry shakes his head at me.
“Most people would want to be the youngest, but you always liked being in the middle.
I never understood that as a kid, but I’m starting to now.
No, what I was talking about with our first birthday party together, I remember what you told Ma.
I remember when I told you I was so excited ’cause I never had a birthday before, let alone a party, you went and told Ma that you wanted me to pick out the cake and decorations.
That it was important that everyone gets to have a birthday party and you were sad that I hadn’t had one.
I remember you had me open my gifts first and blow out the candles all by myself.
I remember wishing that we’d get to stay here forever.
I thought if I had to have sisters, that you and Kierstie were pretty alright.”
He bumps his shoulder into mine.
“I realize thinking back on that time that you’re just as much about the family as Kierstie is, you’re just quieter about it.
I’m sorry for the part I played in all this shit, little one.
I didn’t think you were about to break and I for sure as fuck don’t think that now.
I should have come to see you or at least texted the day after you got home.
I didn’t and then I kept picking up my phone to text you but I didn’t know the right way to say things.
Fuck, I still don’t really know.”
I rest my head on his shoulder.
“I think you did alright.
I get that maybe I haven’t been the easiest to approach or that you guys didn’t know what to say, but I’m the same me as the one you grew up with, I just think you guys forgot I grew up too.”
He nods.
“That could be it.
I’ll have you know that Nicky has been pissed off at me since the reception.
He’s most definitely a fan of yours.
He told me last night that I needed to get my head out of my fine ass and talk to you.
Said he was gonna come see you himself in the next couple of days and that he always knew what a badass bitch you really were.”
I love Nicky and he’s awesome for Ry.
“That’s because he’s awesome himself.
You picked good there, big brother.”
He kisses my head.
“Yeah.
I think I’m gonna keep him.”
We sit there in silence for a couple of minutes.
I know he doesn’t do silence like I can so it doesn’t surprise me when he speaks up.
“You happy with Mick? I mean really happy and not just ’cause you two have been dancing around each other for what seems like forever?”
I can’t help the smile anytime I’m asked about Mick.
“Yeah I am.
He gets me.
Like he knows what flowers and stuff I like, but knows it means more to me that he brings me my coffee just how I like it, or that he knows that I want my diner hash browns and bacon both extra crispy otherwise I won’t eat them.
He gets that it’s that stuff that means the most to me.
He’s happy to just sit in front of a fire with me.
He likes it when I pop into the shop just to say hi and bring him a soda.”
Ry sighs his signature sigh again.
“And now there’s another brother I have to threaten.
If he’s smart, he’ll take me seriously, ’cause I’d definitely kill him if he ever hurts you.”
I can’t help but scoff and roll my eyes ’cause I know what good friends he is with Mick.
He must’ve heard me ’cause he chuckles and stands up and looks down at me.
“Okay, I might not kill him, but I’d definitely give him a good beatdown.”
Now that, I do believe.
He taps my foot again and asks in a serious-for-him tone.
“We good, Mads? Or should I say Madison?”
His face when he says my full name has me full-on belly laughing.
You’d think he’d just smelled a skunk or something.
I try to stop laughing to answer him.
“Yeah, Ry-er, Ryan, we’re good.”
I get the death stare for full-naming him.
I stand up and step down the last couple of steps.
“I’m heading home.
Tell Nicky to text me and you both can come over for dinner or something one night.”
I start to head to my car and wave back.
“Love you birthday, buddy!”
I can tell he’s smiling.
“Love ya too, birthday buddy.”
Mick
Yesterday when Oz got back to the shop and told me Madison was heading over to talk to Ma and Pa, I felt like things were getting righted in our world.
I know it’s gonna take some time for her to start talking to her brothers and Kierstie, but she said she and Ry worked through things, so that’s a start.
I know family means everything to her and I just want her to be happy, whatever that takes.
She’s gonna hang with Mary and Christy today.
I think they’re gonna hang out at Anna’s house.
I know, you’re probably wondering why I’m not worried about those vigilantes getting together again, but I’ve got two very good reasons.
The first is that the men who all their anger was focused on are all dead.
Well, they are as far as they know.
They think that Joseph is meeting his maker tonight and no brother is going to correct them.
My other reason for not being freaked out or worried is that I happen to have it on good authority that Wyatt and Jackson changed the combination on their safe and haven’t told Anna just yet.
See? Things should be fine.
Yep.
I’m not the least bit concerned.
I didn’t convince Nicky that he should go over there and get to know the new girls and hang out.
Nope, that wasn’t me at all.
I just finished with my client and gave them the instructions for aftercare and settled their bill.
I’ve got a little over an hour before my next appointment.
I start cleaning up my station when I hear the bell go off.
Grant isn’t in today since he only works part time and only does appointments these days.
I look up and see Jon, Juan, and Rory all standing in front of me.
My smartass can’t help but speak up.
Not one ounce of self-preservation to be found today, apparently.
“Well matching heart tattoos would require an appointment and I know you guys don’t have one today, so is it the day for my beatdown since I’m not just in love with your sister but sleeping with her too?”
See, not one fucking ounce.
Juan breaks his stare down first and makes a gagging sound.
“Dude, that’s our sister.
I don’t ever want to know about her doing any of that with anyone. Ever. ”
I really must want the beatdown ’cause I speak up again without thought.
“She’ll only ever be doing any of that with me, thank you very fucking much.”
I’m glaring back at Juan and Rory, being the peacemaker he is, breaks the tension.
“We ain’t here to beat you down, and fuck you very much about matching heart tattoos.”
He rubs his beard and sits down in one of the chairs.
“We’re here ’cause we need to figure out how to approach Mads to get her to talk to us.”
Jon and Juan take seats on either side of Rory.
I toss my rag down on the counter and lean against it.
I look over at the three of them.
I can tell this is bugging them, though Jon looks more pissed off than resolved.
“First off, when you talk to her, call her by her name.
She wants to be called Madison and I don’t think that’s too much to ask, is it?”
I swear it’s like talking to three teenagers at this moment with the grumbling going on.
Juan speaks up first.
“Just how fucking pissed off is she? I mean, are we talkin’ Kierstie levels or what?”
He really doesn’t get it, does he? I point at him to try and make my point.
“That’s a big part of your problem.
She ain’t Kierstie.
You can’t compare them ’cause they’re very different people.
She was honestly hurt by what you said to her at the reception.
She said she’s the last one to be remembered, that when y’all are doing stuff, she knows her invitation is often an afterthought.
She didn’t get pissed off till not one of you bothered to check in on her after we got her back.”
I let that sink in before I add my opinion.
“Honestly, to see how much that hurt and angered her, I was ready to storm over and kick each of your asses.
It’s like all of you have her frozen in time to that night.
She’s so much more than that and she’s so much stronger than any of you bothered to realize.”
A voice comes from behind me, causing me to jump, ’cause who the fuck comes in from the back? “He’s right.
You three haven’t bothered to really get to know our little one as an adult.”
Pa and Grant walk into the room and each grab a chair.
I must have a look on my face ‘cause Pa continues, “Jane stopped by with the boys and we heard her telling Ma that you three were being more pains in the ass since the wedding than you’ve ever been.
My guess was because this shit with your sister ain’t settled and you don’t like it when family shit is unsettled.”
Jon leans forward and opens his mouth to speak when Pa points at him and speaks in a way that only a dad can.
“Son, have you even thought about what I said the other day? Have any of you even sent her a text? I mean, you saw what she did up on the mountain and I bet not one of you sent her one to say she was a badass.”
Pa’s question is met with seconds of silence as his answer.
Jon finally speaks up.
“Yeah, we saw it, but she did that when she knew we were gonna take care of that shit and she shouldn’t have gone all rogue and wild with the others.”
Excuse the fuck out of me? Luckily, Grant speaks up before I can say something.
“Do you not know your sisters at all? They were fucking raised right along with you.
You know Ma wouldn’t allow them to be weaklings.
Ever stop and consider that she needed to do it or at least be involved with some part of it? No, you were just going to take care of business.
In case you haven’t fucking noticed, the women in our family aren’t ones to stay quiet and let things happen.
They tend to get involved in things that they see fit to do so.
Madison is one of them.
She might not be the most vocal and ain’t as quick to throw a punch as Kierstie, but that doesn’t mean she’s not strong or that she’s not as passionate about our family.
For both of them, family is everything.
They just show it differently.”
All three of them look a little chagrined.
Rory leans back in his chair.
“I know I forget she’s the same age as Ry.
Shit, she’s spent more hours helping Jane with the boys than just about anyone.”
Juan looks a mix of sad and upset.
“Shit.
We’ve never even thanked her once.”
He looks up at me and I’m shocked to see him almost teary-eyed.
“She’s been there for everything, taking care of all of us, seeing that all our needs were met.
She did it all from the background and we just let her.
The one time she finally lets things out and is the center of things, and I tell her the shit I spewed.”
Rory chimes in.
“And then when she’s taken and makes it back home, not a one of us can take two seconds to make sure she’s okay.
No wonder Jane and Nicky yelled at us.
We just treated our little sister like shit.
Fuck, apparently we’ve been doin’ it for a while.”
Fucking finally.
They get it.
Rory and Juan stand up and, without a word, head out the door.
I’d bet my bike that they’re heading over to my girl’s place now.
I watch Jon sitting there still stewing.
Part of me wants to respect that he’s my president and not go off half-cocked on him.
The other part of me wants to knock some sense into him and tell him to man the fuck up and go talk to my girl ’cause I don’t like seeing her hurt.
A hand comes down on my shoulder and I look back and see it’s Pa.
“Let me deal with him.
You got clients coming and this is a conversation he and I need to have.”
I nod and watch him walk over to Jon and look down at him.
“Son, you and I are going to go for a ride then have a conversation.”
I can see Jon’s about to say something when Pa speaks with a tone that I haven’t heard from him in years.
“This ain’t a request.
Let’s go.”
I watch them both leave and don’t know what to say to that.
Grant seems not to have that problem.
“Son, what you see there is parenting.
Whoever said parenting ends once your kids become adults was a fucking liar.
It changes and evolves but it never fucking ends.”
Of course the father of Saxon and Samson would say that.
The orneriest set of twins I’ve ever met in my life.
Two of a guy’s best friends too, but that’s beside the point.