Chapter 27
Canaan
Kensie held tight to my hand while I steered with the other through the Miami traffic to get her to the airport.
We were both quiet as if we were breaking up, and this was our last time together.
Instead of her usual brightly colored attire, her black T-shirt and leggings matched her dour mood.
She pulled her straightened hair into a messy ponytail and kept pushing up her glasses, a habit whenever she was bothered.
“Call me once you land and then when you get your award. I’ll keep my phone on me.”
She smiled. “I won’t be mad if I call and you don’t answer. With all the press and events, you may not have time to talk to me.”
“Kensie . . .” I warned. “Call me.”
“Okay.” She stared out of the window at the passing palm trees.
“Women in less industrialized places are allegedly happier than women in countries like the U.S. because women in those places have traditional roles of caring for their husbands and families. It seems the more choices we have as women, the less happy we are. I used to think that it meant women aren’t happy unless they’re housewives.
” Kensie looked at me. “Now, I wonder if we’re not as happy because our men aren’t supportive when we make choices that don’t involve them. ”
“Don’t start. I’m driving you to the airport when I should be back at the hotel prepping for my interview with ESPN.” I scanned the rearview mirror before switching to the left lane to speed.
“You’ve been politely supportive all week because you don’t want to be the bad guy anymore. But you still resent that I didn’t decide to stay here with you.”
“I don’t have the right to be disappointed?
I’m doing the best I can with the hand I’ve been dealt.
I’m in love with a woman who’s as driven as me, which means shit like this will happen.
” I released her hand. “If you stayed here, you would be second-guessing yourself the entire time, and that would’ve been worse. We are in a no-win situation.”
“Not true.” She slipped one leg under her thigh in the sports car to face me.
“When it matters the most on Sunday, I’ll still be cheering you on, along with Malcolm and Ms. Murielle.
Did it ever occur to you that no one but Dr. Radi will be in Raleigh?
No family or friends to be there for me on my most important night? ”
My grip tightened on the steering wheel. “Hold up. You didn’t tell me he would be there.”
“Are you kidding me right now? I just told you that I have no one there for me at a big moment of my life, and you’re jealous of a man I told you I didn’t and never wanted?” she yelled.
I gritted my teeth to prevent saying something we would both regret. She’d told me about Dr. Radi and how he hit on her. I trusted Kensie didn’t want him, but I didn’t trust him, especially if she were vulnerable and lonely.
She crossed her arms and bumped her head against the leather rest, and we were silent the rest of the ride. When we pulled up to the curbside, she opened the door, and I reached across her to close it. “You’re not getting on that plane pissed with me.”
Kensie rolled her eyes. “Then don’t annoy me.”
“Kensie . . . Kensie . . . I swear your mouth gets on my nerves.” I pulled her into my arms and murmured my apologies over and over until the tension flowed from her body.
Then, like a lightbulb suddenly switched on in a dark room, everything became illuminated.
I released her with a loud smack on her lips and put the car into drive.
Her eyes widened. “What are you doing? I’m going to miss my flight.”
“Finding a space to park so I can go with you.” Rattling off my thoughts as they crossed my mind, I replied, “We can catch a flight there now. I’m sure there are seats left.
We’ll arrive in style at the banquet, you’ll receive your award, I’ll give you a standing ovation, and I’ll arrange a chartered flight to get us back late tonight or early tomorrow morning.
We’ll only miss the gala and a few media interviews.
Problem solved.” I winked at her. Decision made.
The unsettledness that had hovered over us for the past few days dissipated.
“You’re serious? What about . . . about . . . well . . . everything?” she sputtered.
I shrugged. “Fuck it. They’ll get over it. I’d rather be in Raleigh celebrating you.” My eyes scanned the road ahead for the parking garage. “Do they have valet services somewhere?”
“This is Miami. I’m sure they do.” She giggled before she covered her face with her hands and sobbed. “I can’t believe you would do that for me.”
“Hey, hey, baby, please don’t cry.” I squeezed her knee. “I love you. You’re going to be my wife one day. I should’ve decided this when you first told me. No more celebrations without each other, okay?”
She nodded through her tears. “Malcolm is going to kill you.”
“Yeah, he will. I may not even make it to the race.” Chuckling, I pulled into the valet service. “So, we’d better make the best of today.”
Kensie grabbed my face and kissed it. “I love you so much that I don’t even care that you’re probably going to keep an eye on Dr. Radi.”
“As long as you know I don’t play about my woman either.” I gazed into her shiny eyes. “Love you too.”
And that night, no one yelled or clapped louder than I did as a stunning, glowing Kensie, in an elegant black dress, received her award, which declared her the best in her field.
She stood proudly in front of everyone, smiling and blowing me a kiss.
Being there for her in her moment of glory: priceless.
On the morning of the race, I was a bundle of live wire nerves.
My kinetic energy demanded release. I wanted to fuck it out, but having sex with Kensie only made me want more.
That damn woman made me insatiable, and I needed my legs.
I walked into my private suite, grabbed my earphones, and sat on the plush carpet in the center of the room.
Kensie had made an ASMR playlist for me.
Whispering and rain soothed me the most. The race would begin in three hours, and I wanted to at least take some of the nervous edge off by walking away from the pit.
On Friday, after rushing from the airport to barely make it to the track, I placed fourth during my rookie run.
And on Saturday, I crossed the line in second place for the qualifying, and Gabriel earned fifth place.
We made it in the top five of twenty-two racers, and I was in the best position beside pole or number one to take it all.
I’d already broken a record during the qualifying rounds.
Ferrari execs who watched from their penthouse balconies secured a contract with me for the next two seasons with Malcolm as the crew chief.
I also negotiated flexibility to still participate in NASCAR races that didn’t interfere with Formula One events.
Despite being absent a day and pissing off a few press members and Ferrari executives, I had a triumphant appearance in my inaugural run at The Grand Prix.
Even Malcolm had to smile with approval.
Adjusting my headphones, I twisted my upper torso and moved my head from side to side, stretching my muscles.
The rain sounds finally began to lull me, and the beautiful Barbadian beach flowed into the sandy beaches of the Atlantic Ocean.
I instructed each of my body parts to relax, beginning with my toes, until my body became fluid, and I could feel tingling sensations course through my veins.
Yes, it is happening.
Soon, I will regain control of restlessness. As I breathed in and out, grateful for this moment, the rain in my ears stopped.
Damn it to hell.
My eyes popped open, and I scanned the room for my cell.
When I reached for it on the sofa, my cell phone slipped from my gloved hands, which had been systematically measuring my temperature, dehydration level, and the amount of G-force striking my body.
Annoyed with my clumsiness and that my concentration had been wrecked, I picked up my phone again with a firmer hand.
As I swiped, searching for the playlist, my eyes settled on an unopened email from the private investigator I hired back in February, with a message that this was the third attempt.
I stared at the envelope icon, fighting the compelling urge to click it.
Finally, I took a settling breath and pushed past my almost unshakeable need to see the contents of this email.
I restarted the playlist and tossed my phone, now furious that I’d allowed nonsense to interfere with my peace.
I usually shut off my phone hours before practice and racing events until Kensie gave me a new way to zone out, and it’d been effective in Miami.
Reminding myself of our blossoming love that had sustained while energizing my spirit, I inhaled my life force and exhaled negative thoughts.
Kensie and I had the type of love I’d never imagined, one in which our being together seemed second nature once she and I completely dropped all walls.
Whatever the email stated wouldn’t change my feelings about Kensie.
Despite the initial embarrassment and fallout, we were both grateful for the video leak because it brought us together.
Soon, the sounds of the rain cleared my troubling thoughts, and I disappeared into a mindless abyss.