Chapter 4 #2
I sipped at my hot mug of tea, not even reacting to the burn on my tongue. I could’ve cooled it, but this type of pain was welcome. Anything to get my mind off of my splitting headache and burning fingers.
I wasn’t sure how long I sat on that log, but the sun was getting low.
My vision had gone a bit blurry from the wall of white in front of me, and as I glanced up into the sky, I let out a breath of relief when I saw the moon was already rising.
The snow turned a golden shade as the sun began to set, and I closed my eyes, relaxation taking over more and more with each breath.
This was what I needed. Just me, and silence, and the moon. Too bad there wasn’t water. I’d love to have been on the beach, or even at a lake. And this tea wasn’t horrible, at least, though I still wished I could know if caffeine would help my head or not.
I ran my hand over some snow beside me, grinning when it melted into a small sheet of water, rippling in the setting sun.
A twig snapped to my left, and my head jerked up as the water splashed back onto the log, my free hand extending in defense, then dropping.
“River,” Gina said, laughing shakily. God, what the fuck was she doing out here? I looked around, but she was alone. Avery wasn’t with her. She was not supposed to be alone with me. “Good thing you can’t attack me, right?”
My stomach dropped.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, picking at the sleeves of her sweater. “That was rude of me.”
This was why she wasn’t supposed to be alone with me.
Ever since she had the mother of all meltdowns that resulted in a leveled compound, Avery had made a new rule that we weren’t supposed to be alone together.
I still wondered why she’d never told him what caused her outburst. Or that I was actually the one who’d leveled the compound.
I stared down into my tea, seething internally. “What do you want?”
“I…how are you? They said you left lunch. You weren’t feeling well…another headache?”
I shrugged.
Gina made her way over to me before perching on the very edge of the log.
The tea already in my stomach lurched so violently, I felt nauseous.
“This place is something, isn’t it?” She swayed back and forth as if there were music playing. I only stared into the snow, wishing it would’ve blinded me. “Remember that one summer in Alaska, when you saw that bear?”
My eyes began to sting since I hadn’t blinked since she appeared.
“Yep,” I breathed, because if I didn’t reply, she’d just keep prodding.
“Remember, that time in the Pantanal? You saw that jaguar?”
I crunched the travel cup, barely wincing as the hot liquid spilled across my hand.
She fell silent.
Unbearably silent.
The kind of silent that led to a tantrum.
“I…always feel so…sad when you act this way.”
I scoffed, finally looking at her long enough to see she didn’t look too good. There were bags under her eyes for the first time I’d ever seen, and she hadn’t put any makeup on, which was new. She’d never walked through the compound without her face done before.
Her green eyes were wide, watching me with such longing, it made me feel a little sick again.
I stood suddenly, and she jumped up after me.
“I’m sorry, River, please. Please talk to me. I’m so worried. What can I do? Is it Alex? Did you…like him?”
I scoffed again, but continued striding away from her. I could hear her furry boots crunching in the snow behind me as she tried to keep up.
“I didn’t know about Alex,” she went on. “Avery told me later. I didn’t know you felt so strongly for him, I would’ve–”
I stopped suddenly, turning on my heel so quickly she almost barreled into me. She skidded to a stop just in time, leaning back away from me so we didn’t touch. It was my one and only boundary, and she was always so desperate for me to keep speaking with her, she respected it.
If I couldn’t touch them, they couldn’t touch me either.
“I don’t give a fuck about Alex,” I snapped. She shrunk back, but I kept going, even as the fading sun began to fade even faster, puffy thunderhead clouds building. “He was his closest fucking friend. How could he just…nevermind.”
Gina should’ve shared my worry. If Avery was growing erratic enough to kill a close friend on a whim, what would stop him from hurting her? Or me?
A tornado, dumbass, my own mind snarked at me as I strode away.
“No, River, please!” She practically whimpered as she followed me again, her breaths coming in heavy pants as she tried to keep pace with me.
“Please, River. Talk to me. Tell me anything. Tell me you hate me. Just give me something. You think Avery’s a fool?
I’ll agree with you. I didn’t know he would kill Alex. ”
“I don’t think he knew he would kill Alex,” I muttered.
“I trust Avery,” she went on. “If Alex betrayed him to the Royals, then I believe him.”
I turned back to her with narrowed eyes. Clouds continued to build overhead, blocking the rising moon and pushing my temper further.
“He didn’t tell you,” I said in realization. I’d broken up the argument in the office without really knowing what it was about. Gina thought Skye was Avery’s Key, which meant…
“Tell me what?” She fiddled with the sleeves of her sweater again as the last of the sun faded behind heavy clouds. “What is it?”
An idea hit me, suddenly.
This was the perfect opportunity for me to plant a seed of doubt. Something to pull them apart, to cause problems. I’d been considering it lately, late at night when the despair got to me. I was a prisoner here, and the only way out was for a jail wall to explode. I just needed to set the spark.
I’d just found it.
“Nothing,” I muttered. “He…he didn’t tell me anything, either. I feel like…he doesn’t trust me anymore.”
“Oh, River,” she drew closer, and I resisted the urge to wince. I was equal parts glad she believed me and annoyed that she was trying to comfort me. “Of course he trusts you.”
I shrugged. “I get it. I’m moody…my headaches are back…”
“River,” she whispered, shaking her head. “It’s okay. We love you, and we understand. Things are so hard for you, especially after Landon. How about…how about I talk to him for you? I won’t tell him you told me anything, I swear.”
The clouds overhead seemed to thin, and the last of the dying sunlight beamed through the clouds, turning the landscape pink.
“Okay,” I said reluctantly. Fuck, what else would a depressed son say? “I just…I don’t know how to talk to him anymore.”
Gina didn’t come any closer, but she shifted her weight from foot to foot, and I breathed a sigh of relief. She was totally on my side.
“I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry about it. He’s…well, he’s busy making preparations for the Iykos girl right now, but I’ll speak to him when he’s back. He’s just left the temple again.”
“Alright,” I said softly, though my heart leapt. He was making preparations now? He hadn’t even told me. How was I supposed to be transferring an affinity tonight if he hadn’t warned me?
Well…I was out in the snow, wasn’t I? He was probably waiting for me to get back.
“I’ll see you later. Thanks…Gina.”
Regina’s face lit up at my use of her nickname. “You’re so welcome, River. I’d do anything for you.”
Something dark inside me stirred, wondering if that statement were true.