Chapter 49
River
“How you doin’ today, suge?” Dani Earl asked, giving me a too-bright smile for seven o’clock in the morning. I was pissed about my continued lack of sleep, but this was the only time slot available.
I resisted the urge to scowl. “Fine,” I clipped, brushing past her.
“Room four,” she called after me cheerily, ignoring my shit attitude.
Sitting on the exam table, I ran my hands down my thighs, allowing myself this small soothe while Dani had her back turned to me. Her long braids swished back and forth as she hummed to herself, swaying with some music in her head.
It pissed me off.
I looked outside, catching a glimpse of the morning sun while I kicked my feet back and forth.
I hadn’t spoken to Skye in nearly a week.
I rubbed my exhausted eyes.
I’d barely been sleeping, tossing and turning while I considered the awful idea that maybe I wasn’t in Skye’s Chain. What it would mean for me if I was. What it would mean for me if I wasn’t.
“Is this going to get back to him?” I asked.
Dani stopped her dancing, her expression sobering. “I want to say no, but I can’t keep it from him if he asks me.”
I braced my hands on the crinkly paper as I considered standing and leaving.
I didn’t have to do this.
There were three things pushing me to be here, though. Number one, arguably the most important, was spite. Avery didn’t want me to do this, which meant I probably should. But number two was that Lucille Brandt wanted me to do this, which meant…maybe I shouldn’t. But number three...I wanted to know.
I really wanted to know if I was supposed to be with Skye or not.
There was no other explanation for how I felt about her, for how she made me feel.
I was beginning to trust her, believing what she said about protecting me.
Her telepathy was strong, strong enough that Avery hadn’t detected it, and I was living pain-free for now.
I wondered briefly if her other affinities she’d inherited from Avery were stronger than his. I could only imagine if–
I froze.
“River? I’m gonna start.”
I didn’t reply, Dani’s voice hazy in the background of my blistering panic.
Skye inherited her affinities.
Did she…
Could she…
What if this was all some sick fucking joke? What if she was…fucking forcing me to be attracted to her somehow?
What had she said in the garden?
‘I don’t have to touch you at all’.
It made sense, and didn’t make sense at the same time.
How could she be compelling me without having said the words to me?
I closed my eyes.
She could use her telekinesis without her hands.
Fuck, I could use my own affinities without my hands…not that Avery knew that.
Skye could’ve been in my mind this whole time, compelling me to go along with this…whatever this was…
“You seem stressed, Riv. Has that woman been coming back around?” Dani murmured.
I blinked hard, my gaze jumping up to hers as I came back to the moment. It took a second for her question to register, and then I shook my head. I wasn’t about to talk to her about Gina.
I didn’t trust this woman. I’d never liked how her healing affinity felt, like something was wrong with it. Landon had explained she was one of the first affinates Avery had experimented on when she was a child, but that hadn’t made me feel any better.
I winced as the needle went into my arm, but thankfully, I’d been up all night mentally shitting myself in preparation, so I didn’t react beyond the wince.
Dani prodded my arm with her pointer finger, then wiggled her eyebrows at me. “You live in the gym?”
I breathed out through my nose, a silent laugh. I shook my head before dropping my gaze to the dingy linoleum flooring.
“This guy I was talking to, he said the same,” she said conversationally. “I didn’t believe him. Neither did the other girls.”
“Girls?” I asked, my voice raspy. Why the fuck did I even care? My heart was pounding, between knowing there was a needle in my arm and the idea that Skye could be fucking with my mind, I was ready to pass out. Some part of me was desperate to distract myself, though, clearly.
“Yeah. It was me, two girls and this guy. We were trying to build one of those new wave Chains.”
She changed another vial in my peripheral while I stared into the floor.
New wave Chains.
I stopped myself before I could sneer.
Unlearning years of shitty behavior wasn’t easy. I’d spent years being taught that Avery knew better than biology or fate. He knew what was best, always.
“Were?” I croaked.
Dani sighed deeply. “Yeah. I did my own Link-testing and I found my Key. And it’s none of those people I just told you about.”
Oh. I knew something about this.
Carla.
Carla Martin and Dani Earl were in a Chain?
…Ew.
Dani popped the rubber-band off my arm.
“They all hate each other, too. My Key and the others. I don’t know what to do about it, but…but my soul is telling me to stick with my Key. You know?”
No, I didn’t know. I was very unfamiliar with the feeling she was describing, but…the emotion on her face was familiar. Unfortunately.
“I like a girl,” I whispered.
Dani’s dark eyes darted back to my face.
“She’s got a Chain, though.”
Dani’s gaze softened. “They don’t like you?”
I shrugged.
Dani nodded, then slapped a bandaid on my arm before prodding my bicep again.
“Better get going,” she said softly. “Who’s your counselor? I’ll send the results over.”
My stomach dropped.
Fucking hell, I didn’t want Craig seeing these. What if we were on the same list?
A small voice at the back of my head asked…what if we weren’t on the same list?
“Can you uh…keep him off the results for now?” I asked.
She eyed me for a second, then pursed her lips and nodded. “Alright, suge. You got it.”
There were a lot of moments in my life where I was irrevocably changed. There was the time before something traumatic happened, and the time after.
The massacre was one.
The first time Avery hit me was another.
Landon dying.
Realizing Skye was the Phantom.
But this…
The email notification containing my test results came in while I was hiking in the woods around campus, desperately trying to keep my mind off of my results but not wanting to get out of cell service so I couldn’t receive them.
Everything happened in slow motion.
My phone pinged.
I looked down, then teleported.
The sound of crashing waves was like a balm to my frantic soul, calming me as I sank down to sit in the low grass.
I missed the Gulf.
I didn’t come here as often as I wanted.
I looked down at my phone, tapping the notification and taking a deep breath before I began to scroll through the email, and then–
I stared at the words for so long, they didn’t look like words anymore. My vision blurred in and out, teetering the line of calm and rage that I was used to. Waves crashed from somewhere nearby, but I couldn’t focus on that. All I could see were the blurry words in from of me.
Chain Status
Key
* River Mac, 21
Links
* Grace Fisher – deceased, age 9
* Zoe Ford – deceased, age 7
I…had two Links.
Had.
My stomach rolled, and then I retched.
Spots dotted my vision.
I gasped.
Couldn’t breathe.
I was on my hands and knees somehow.
I was a Key.
Was.
I retched again, not reacting as my face flopped into the warm sand. Didn’t care that the grass was fluttering against my cheeks.
My Links…were dead.
I retched once more, then coughed. Nothing but bile left in my stomach.
I couldn’t breathe.
Couldn’t. Breathe.
I ran a hand over the back of my mouth, then grasped at my chest. I sucked in breath after breath of air, but nothing could clear the growing fog in my brain. Breathing felt like I was swallowing fucking needles, each inhale slowly shredding my insides.
I hadn’t even known I had Links just ten minutes ago, and now…
How were they both dead? Two women– no, girls. Two girls, dead. And so young?
My soul ached.
I’d been without them for so long. How could I not have known or felt something?
Dread winded through me, a deep feeling of guilt unlike anything I’d ever felt before twisted around my ribcage.
How had I not felt something when they died?
How?
Another realization had more dread curdling my stomach. I doubled over again, dry heaving as a new, horrific thought crossed my mind.
I was wrong.
I knew I was wrong.
I had to be wrong.
There was no way I could be right.
But I tapped on my phone’s search engine, my fingers trembling so violently it took me several tries to type the first name.
Grace.
A beautiful name.
Grace Fisher…was a victim of the Gulf Capitol Massacre alongside both of her fathers.
And Zoe…
Zoe died with her entire family.
Also in the Gulf. Capitol. Massacre.
Something fractured inside me.
Something that’d already been cracking.
I couldn’t…
I couldn’t do this anymore.