20. Abel #2
“Huh?”
“Suppose it was you that was sleeping with Maria. Supposing you really loved her. Loved her like no other woman. Okay?”
“I don’t get where?—”
“Just go with it, big man. Just suppose it. Just for a moment, okay?”
“Alright, but?—”
“So, would that mean you stopped caring about your friends? Would that make you feel any different about me and Grant?”
“Well… no, I guess not. But?—”
“But nothing. There you are. Same for you… same for us. See?”
“I…” I trail off. “Maybe,” I concede.
“And honestly, Abe, if you think all this was determined in advance or something… well it wasn’t.
This whole thing… it’s just kinda happened.
Accidental. I’ll not say a mistake, because I’m still hoping it’ll all turn out for the best. But I promise you this…
none of it was planned. I was as surprised as the next person.
And I’m a hundred percent sure that goes for Grant too.
“It does,” Grant confirms. “I may not have your way with words, Regan. But you put it very well. None of this has been planned. It just… happened.”
“So what happens now?” I ask, confused, not sure what to think anymore.
So much to take in. “Because here’s the thing.
I’ve never been good at relationships, but great or poor at them, what I simply do not want to do is be around when I’m not really wanted.
I just can’t stand that idea. I’d far rather be alone than be in someone’s way.
So if you’ve got Maria, and Sandro too, then my thinking is… do you really need me?”
Regan and Grant stare at me incredulously, like I’ve just said something very stupid indeed.
“What on Earth are you talking about, Abe?”
“What do you mean?”
“Can Maria fix fuel injection systems?” asks Regan.
“Well, no, of course not. But?—”
“What’s she like with timing belts and cam chains?” Grant asks me.
“Well again, she’s?—”
“And who’s going to lift the engine blocks into place when the hoist is out of order, ‘cos I ain’t doing it. I nearly broke a fingernail last time I tried.” I look suspiciously across at Regan, who just winks at me, solemnly.
“Are you taking the piss?”
“Of course not. You’re my buddy. I’d never do a thing like that. Besides, it wouldn’t be sporting, given the huge gulf between our intellects.”
I sigh. If I’m back to being the butt of Regans jokes then I guess we really are a team again.
Grant turns to Maria.
“Maria, what about you? How do you feel about all this?”
Maria turns to Grant and gives him a nervous smile.
“Thanks, Grant,” she says. “Yes, I think I should say something.” She runs a nervous hand through her hair, her face slightly pink, her voice a little hesitant, obviously feeling awkward.
“Papa and I… well we’re both very grateful.
To all three of you. We really are. And then I got…
involved with Regan.” She glances up at him shyly.
“And it was… well put it this way, he made me feel something I’d never felt before.
And then Grant… well we got into an intimate conversation, and it just…
progressed. It felt so natural. Like it was meant to happen.
And honestly, I don’t regret it. Not at all.
” She stops, looks at me, as if trying to decide if any of what she is saying is making sense to me.
“So all that stuff… well it was all good, and as I say, I don’t regret it.
But what I do regret is how I handled things with you.
It was stupid of me, but I never for a moment thought about the impact my actions might have had on you, Abel.
Or on the relationship between the three of you.
And… well, that’s my bad, and I’m sorry, I truly am.
I didn’t think about how it might look from your perspective, Abe, and I damned well should have done.
So, you see, if anyone’s to blame for this mess, it’s not Grant or Regan. It’s me.” She takes a hesitant step towards me.
“And the stupidest thing of all is this…” she takes a deep breath, then looks me in the eyes. “What you don’t realize, Abe, is that you mean just as much to me as Grant and Regan. So, if you won’t come back for them, then please… Abe… come back for me.”
We stare at each other for a long moment, neither of us quite knowing what to say. I want to believe her. Truly I do.
I think she sees this in my eyes because she goes on to add one final thing more to convince me to go back with them.
She brings out a handwritten notepad, and passes it to me.
“Many years ago, I got into the habit of journal writing,” she explains. “And a few weeks ago—long before any of this happened—I wrote this.” I stare blankly at the notepad, not understanding.
“I think you’re meant to read it,” says Regan.
So I read it. Then I stand in silence, turning it over in my mind.
“Yeah. Out loud, big man.”
“Oh… yeah, right.” I look across to Maria, who nods, so I clear my throat and read out the part she’d highlighted, loud enough so that everyone can hear.
“I like getting up before everyone else and hearing the quiet crackle of the stove while the coffee brews. I like cooking breakfast for Grant, Regan, and Abe, and I like having dinner waiting after they come home tired and dusty from work. It’s…
well, it’s like a normal family. Or at least the closest thing to one I’ve ever really known.
I know I don’t deserve it, but I am so glad that Papa and I have found these three wonderful men. I hope it will last forever.”
I lower the notepad. Stand there, looking at Maria
“So you see, Abe… you have to come back.” She smiles, her eyes on mine, her hands open towards me. As in a dream, I take a step forward. She takes my hands in hers, kisses me lightly, delicately on my forehead.
“Thank you, Abe.” She whispers.
And after that, I know she’s right.
I really have no choice at all.