Chapter 16
REMY
I have to borrow someone else’s uniform for my shift in the café.
Bash’s car is waiting outside for me when I finish. I don’t get in. I start walking back towards the residence halls, head down, trying to ignore the car crawling along the curb beside me. I’m not ready to go back.
The driver winds down the window. “Ms. Jones? Mr. Murray asked me to take you to the Rinse.” He has a round face, eyes that see everything which I guess comes from driving around a busy city for a living.
“Can you please tell Mr. Murray that I’m going home tonight?”
I almost tell him that I have an assignment to complete, but I don’t need to add ‘college student’ to the list of reasons why I don’t belong in their world.
“Sure.” He inclines his head; he isn’t paid to persuade me to get in the car. “Can I give you a ride home?” It’s a genuine offer.
I smile. “No. Thank you. I need to walk.” I don’t even know why I tell him this. Ariel always accuses me of oversharing; it’s a tough habit to crack.
I watch the tinted window wind back up, watch the car pull away, and swallow the lump in my throat.
I tell myself that it was the right thing to do.
I need time to replay the last twenty-four hours in my head and figure out what I want.
I feel like I’ve been on a rollercoaster that hit the top of the first hill when I kissed Cash and arrived back at the starting point when I saw the concierge accept that woman’s business card in the Rinse’s foyer.
I’m not emotionally equipped to deal with this right now.
I need some Ariel time.
Only, I don’t realize until I let myself into our dorm room that she’s spending the evening with Tristan.
I power down the cell phone, empty a tin of baked beans into a microwaveable bowl to heat up, and eat them sitting up in bed with the pillows propped behind me.
I sleep fitfully. In my broken dreams, I’m hunting for a shoe that I lost somewhere in a tall tower.
I run up and down a spiral staircase, peering over the ornate banisters, unable to see the top or bottom.
The harder I run, the taller the tower becomes.
My legs get slower. My clothes get heavier.
Until my alarm finally goes off and I wake up, heavy-eyed, feeling my body to reassure myself that I’m not wearing a saturated wedding dress that smells of chlorine.
I realize that Ariel’s eyes are open, and she’s watching me.
“You either drank too much caffeinated soda last night, or the wrong twin proposed to you.” She hugs her pillow, unwilling to get out of bed until I spill the beans.
I sit up and slide my legs over the side of my bed. My heart is racing from the vividness of the dream. My belly is gurgling with hunger, and as if that isn’t enough to deal with, I feel nauseous. I inhale deeply, trying to steady everything that’s rolling around inside me.
“Rem?” Ariel pushes her covers back and joins me. “What happened? I didn’t want to wake you when I came home, but even I could see there was some crazy-assed shit going on inside that beautiful head.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls my head onto her chest.
“They want to buy an apartment for me and pay for private healthcare.”
Ariel sniffs above my head, and I don’t need to look at her to know that her face is scrunched up in confusion. “That’s it? That’s what got you so rattled that you were thrashing about like an alligator in a tiny pond?”
I smile. I can always rely on Ariel to bring things into perspective.
“Not entirely.” I pull away so that I can look at her.
“I don’t belong in that world, Ariel. I thought that perhaps I could, that I might love them enough to make it work.
But then a woman with a chihuahua walked through me like I didn’t exist, and the concierge smiled at another woman with a business card, and I don’t want a flashy seven-figure apartment. ”
I run out of steam, and slump against her.
“You didn’t speak to them about this, did you?”
“No.”
“You turned your cell off, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“You know what this means, don’t you?” She doesn’t give me a chance to answer. “They’re going to be sitting outside waiting for you to go out there and explain why you’re freaking the hell out over an apartment some folks would sell their soul for.”
“I’ll speak to them.” I pause. “When I’m ready.”
“Okay, what else happened?”
“Nothing. Kyle was lovely. Gentle, kind. I didn’t feel like he was judging me.”
“So, you’re judging you instead.”
“How do you always know what I’m thinking?” I sit up straight and take another steadying breath.
“Because you’re a classic people-pleaser, and I’m studying psychology in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Damn.” I smile.
“Damn indeed.” She shrugs. “So, what are you gonna do about it?”
“I don’t know. I need time to think.”
“Well, you’ve got a little over six months to get your shit together. Maybe less. Twins often come early.”
I groan out loud.
“Someone’s got to tell it like it is, Remy. And it sure as shit isn’t gonna be those two men whose hearts you’re messing around with.”
“I’m not messing around with their hearts.”
Her eyes bulge and her lips purse when she gives me the look. “You want to try rephrasing that?”
“I’ll speak to them.”
“Thank you, lord.” She peers up at the ceiling. “But perhaps next time you could send a sex-god billionaire my way too.”
“My schedule is full today.” I tuck my cell between my chin and shoulder and shove some textbooks into my tote for effect.
It isn’t. I’m just not ready to see either of them yet.
I still can’t wrap my head around what happened. Again. I didn’t intend to have sex with them both. When I replay it in my head, my panties get soaked and I want to cover my face with both hands at the same time.
What the hell am I doing?
“I’ll pick you up after your classes,” Cash says.
“No, I’m working.” Another lie. I feel bad for lying to them, but I need more time, even though I know that twenty-four hours isn’t going to give me sudden and apocalyptic clarity.
“I want to see you, Remy.”
His voice brings tears to my eyes. “I want to see you too.” I do. I just can’t see beyond that.
“But?” he prompts. I’m not fooling anyone but myself. “Would it help if I came alone?”
More tears. “It isn’t that.” It isn’t only that.
“What is it then?”
I try to picture Cash in his office. Is it like Bash’s, with huge comfy couches and a jug of iced water on the coffee table?
Is that standard office décor? Is he standing by the window when he speaks to me, his eyes instinctively seeking out the college building?
Or is he seated at his desk with his feet up, a spreadsheet open on the computer screen.
It’s hard to imagine him in that setting when my mental image of him is naked, his body stretched out beside mine, his lips so close…
“Remy? Talk to me, baby. Whatever it is, we can work it out. Together.”
“I’m not sure I belong in your world.”
I don’t feel relief from saying it out loud.
Instead, my chest feels as though it’s caving in beneath the weight of a sledgehammer.
I feel like Kate Winslet when she lets go of Leonardo DiCaprio’s hand at the end of Titanic.
I’m being melodramatic because of the pregnancy hormones, but for once, I don’t apologize for it.
Cash is silent. He obviously doesn’t know how to handle hormones and that’s okay. I get it. I don’t know how to handle them either. Then, “Cancel your shift at the café.” He ends the call.
“Cash?” I stare at the dark screen.
I shouldn’t feel excited, but I do. I seriously have no control over my emotions right now. What happened to I need time to figure this out? One command from Cassius Murray, and I’m a gooey, caramel-centered chocolate.
A limo is waiting outside college for me at the end of the day.
The chauffeur opens the passenger door for me, and I climb inside wishing that I’d worn pants and a shirt instead of a white sundress with a sunflower print.
I look like I stepped straight out of the 60s.
All I need to complete the visual is a daisy chain in my hair.
“I didn’t know you were going to send a…”
My voice trails away when I realize that Cash isn’t waiting for me. Instead, the door closes behind me, leaving me inside with two beautiful women I don’t recognize.
“Shit. I’m sorry. I thought this car was for me.” The limo shifts into gear, and I’m jolted onto the seat.
They both watch me, smiling. “This car is for you, Remy.”
They introduce themselves as Victoria and Sienna. The twins’ sisters-in-law.
“Did Cash send you?” I sit up straighter and smooth my dress across my lap.
They exchange glances, then Victoria says, “Shall we get coffee first?”
“I work in a coffee shop.”
“Have you ever been to Alice’s Tea Cup?” Sienna asks.
She has red hair, I mean, it’s literally red with golden strands like she stepped straight out of a fairy tale book. My eyes drop to the scars above the neckline of her tank top, and heat rushes to my face.
“I used to hide them.” Sienna shrugs. “Until Kyle made me realize that it’s a part of who I am.”
“You’re Kyle’s wife.”
Cash and Bash told me about the car crash they were involved in. They got separated somehow, Kyle thought she was dead, and then six years later, she walked back into his life.
“I am now. But believe me, I’ve sat in your seat, Remy. I know exactly how you feel.”
“We both do.” Victoria’s hair is darker, her smile a little softer, and I instantly feel comfortable in her presence. Like I have nothing to prove. “Did they tell you that Caleb fired me from the Wraith and then asked me to pretend to be his fiancée?”
“That was some chat-up line,” Sienna adds.
“Why did you agree to it?”
I know why they’re here. Cash asked them to show me what life could be like as a member of the Murray clan. They don’t realize that people like me don’t travel by limo. We don’t visit places called Alice’s Tea Cup. We don’t consider Prada when we need to replace our worn-out sweaters.
“Because I needed the money.” Victoria holds my gaze, but there’s no agenda behind her eyes. “My brother had gone AWOL, I was taking care of my niece, and I’d just been fired.”
“I tried to talk her out of it,” Sienna says. “I didn’t want her to get hurt.”
“But I was already in too deep.”
“Did you…” Their intentions might come from the heart, but their situation is nothing like mine. Cash must not have been completely honest with them when he asked them to intervene. “…know how you felt?”
Victoria’s smile lights up her face. “Yes. Or at least, my heart did, even if my head tried to convince me otherwise.”
“Were you scared?”
“Terrified. I thought that he would wake up one day and realize what a terrible mistake he’d made. We were worlds apart. I just thought that he was too blind to see it.”
My brain is frantically trying to piece together this information with the fragments that I got from Cash and Bash.
Kyle was in therapy for years because he believed that Sienna died in the car crash.
Caleb used Victoria to get a psychopathic ex off his case.
I know they’re trying to make me feel better, but this stuff simply doesn’t happen in the real world.
I shake my head and sit forward. “Please stop the car. I want to get out.”
“Remy?” Victoria’s smile has faded. “What is it? Do you feel sick?”
“Yes.” No. But they’ll stop the car if they think I’m going to puke.
Sienna speaks to the driver, and he pulls over on the side of the road. I climb out first. I don’t even recognize where I am, and I don’t have to pretend that I feel nauseous. Bent double, I swallow bile, my pulse racing.
Victoria rubs my back. “It’s okay, Remy. Take your time.”
Sienna hands me a glass of iced water that she got from the mini bar inside the limo. I sip it slowly. “Better?” she asks.
I nod. I’m too shaky to speak.
“Have you eaten today?” Victoria asks.
When Cash vowed to call me every mealtime, it was cute, comical, charming. But I sense an ally in Victoria and Sienna. They’ve done the whole pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding versus formula thing.
“No.”
“Fancy a hot dog?” Sienna asks.
I smile. “With ketchup.”
Sienna dismisses the driver and we grab hot dogs from the nearest street vendor.
The first mouthful is heaven. I lick ketchup from the corner of my mouth and giggle when Victoria catches a slice of stringy fried onion in her hand.
We start walking with no particular destination in mind.
“I don’t want to scare you,” Sienna says, “but we are being followed by a couple of bodyguards.”
My hot dog freezes partway to my mouth. “They still don’t believe me.”
I’m no longer hungry. I scrunch the paper around my food and scan the sidewalk for the nearest trashcan. I don’t understand. They said that they would do whatever made me happy. They offered to buy me an apartment. They… I can’t even think about what happened on the rooftop and in Bash’s kitchen.
Sienna places a hand on my arm, and Victoria blocks my path.
“What are you talking about?” Victoria asks.
“The bodyguards. They’re following me because they think I’m working with my ex.”
I locate a guy dressed all in black with wraparound shades that make him look like a robot. He could be staring straight at me. He could be reading my lips. It’s hard to tell with his stony expression and the adrenaline distorting my vision.
“They think I’m scamming them with the pregnancy,” I add just to be clear.
“Remy, they don’t think that at all.” Sienna glances at Victoria.
“You don’t know, do you?” Victoria says softly.
“Don’t know what?”
“Let’s walk.” Victoria unfolds the wrapped from around my hot dog. “You can eat, and we’ll talk.”