Chapter 21
It took about half an hour for Nico to transition from being sad about River’s rejection to being angry.
He’d never done a damn thing to make her fear him or think, for even a second, that he’d ever harm her in anger. He’d protected her at every turn, and what did he get for his troubles? A flinch, like he was no better than the petty street thug who’d tried to rob them.
His world was ugly and brutal and unfair, but damn it, he’d gone out of his way to shield her from the worst of it. He was marrying her to keep her safe, for fuck’s sake. He could’ve turned her over to Alexi and made his life a million times simpler, but no.
That’s what he got for trying to be a fucking hero. He should’ve stuck with being a villain.
Well, you did tell her she had no choice but to marry you, basically taking away every bit of control she had over her own life. Not exactly heroic, asshole.
Nico had no idea where that thought had come from. Some distant corner of his mind that wasn’t pissed off about the flinch, probably. And while the voice wasn’t wrong, it was most assuredly unwanted. He was in no mood for sharing the blame. The anger felt too…
Liberating.
That’s what it was. Liberating. Not worrying about scaring River or making her angry felt good.
It was probably a good thing she’d seen what he was capable of tonight.
She needed to know what she’d gotten herself into when she’d kidnapped him.
Maybe a little healthy fear would help keep her from getting complacent with her safety.
Still, that flinch really—what was that quaint little phrase Tenley had used that one time?—chapped his ass.
Nico tossed his suit jacket onto the side chair in his bedroom. His tie followed. He might’ve lost a button off his dress shirt, too, but he didn’t care. He was too pissed off.
Taking his frustrations out on his clothes wasn’t helping, though.
So, he stalked out of his room, down the hall, and into the elevator.
He stewed in his anger all the way down to the first floor.
He was sure he intended to head toward the gym where he could hit the punching bag until he was too tired to be pissed off anymore.
Which was why he was surprised when he ended up in the aviary, heart pounding, blood pumping, chest heaving with angry breaths, staring down his wide-eyed fiancée and her equally wide-eyed parrot.
“A-E-I-O fuck you,” Feather whispered.
A-E-I-O fuck you, indeed.
If only Nico were a little uglier.
That was River’s first thought when he stormed into Feather’s aviary, looking like he was spoiling for a fight. This whole thing would be simpler if he didn’t look like a pissed off Greek god who wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill her or fuck her.
His hair was standing up as if he’d furiously scrubbed his hands through it more than once.
His once-pristinely pressed dress shirt was wrinkled, the first few buttons missing.
Tie? Long gone. Jaw flexed, eyes flashing, anger rolling off him in waves…
phew. Good thing she’d sobered up long ago or this would be a lot to process.
His intensity should scare her. The fact that it didn’t? Well, she supposed she’d just have to live with that.
If he let her, of course.
Feather—the coward—let out a weak squawk and hightailed it to the farthest corner of the aviary. River stood up but didn’t approach him or say anything. She figured it was safer to let him say…whatever it was he needed to say.
Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait long.
He stabbed his index finger in her direction. “I haven’t done anything to make you think I’d ever hurt you.”
She nodded. “I know that.”
Nico didn’t seem to hear her, though. He was far too worked up for that. So, he raged on, saying, “My world is dark and ugly, and fuck, even I hate it sometimes. But I’d never do anything to let any of that touch you in any way.”
Another nod. “Yep.”
“And that asshole wasn’t even part of my world! He was just some lowlife off the street, for fuck’s sake! What was I supposed to do? Let him hurt you right in front of me? Would that make you happy?”
“No, that definitely would not make me happy.”
“I did not deserve to have you flinch away from me.”
“I agree.”
“There’s no…wait…what?”
The shift on his face from rage to confusion was adorable. She gave him a palms up gesture. “I agree with everything you’re saying. You haven’t done anything to make me react the way I did. I’m sorry.”
The apology seemed to take what remained of the starch out of his spine. “Then…why? Why did you flinch?”
She sighed. “Does it matter?”
“It does to me,” he said dryly.
Because of course it did. “I’d really rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring down at her in a way that set her teeth on edge. She didn’t need his judgement; she was for sure judging herself harshly enough for both of them. “Oh, I mind.”
Well, that sounded snarky, and she didn’t appreciate it. “Look, I said I was sorry. It won’t happen again. I don’t owe you more than that. Just because we’re getting married doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to have some secrets.”
He took a step closer. She stood her ground but had to crane her head back to maintain eye contact, which was just rude.
Stupid, tall, arrogant, snarky jerk.
“That’s exactly what it means,” he seethed. “Keep whatever secrets you want from other people. But, by God, you’ll tell me everything, because in my world, our lives depend on it.”
OK, now she was pissed. “I’m allowed to have feelings that I don’t share! There’s stuff I’m not exactly proud of, and I don’t owe you any explanations!”
“Feelings you’re not proud of,” he repeated. “That’s a start. What were you feeling tonight when you flinched?”
She growled—actually growled—like a rabid wolf. “Just leave it alone.”
He grabbed her shoulders when she tried to turn and walk away, yanking her up against him. “I won’t. Tell me what you were feeling, damn it!”
“It doesn’t matter! What I’m feeling is not something that lives depend on.”
His growl sounded way more threatening than hers. On a good day, she would’ve taken it as the warning it was. But this was not a good day. “Tell me,” he hissed through clenched teeth.
“And if I don’t?” She clamped her lips together dramatically.
That’s when he changed tactics. He let go of her arm to trail one of his fingertips lazily down her cheek. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “We’re not going anywhere until you answer me. I can stand here all night. Can you?”
His voice slid down her skin like silk. Good Lord, with that voice he should narrate audio books. He’d make way more money doing that than he did in the mafia. Less stress, too, she’d imagine.
Then he leaned back, shot a pointed glance down at her shoes, and gave her a very self-satisfied smirk.
Damn him! The stupid pointy shoes Tenley made her buy were pinching the holy hell out of her poor feet and had been all evening. She’d be lucky if she could tolerate another minute standing toe-to-toe with him, and he knew it.
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, ignoring the screaming pain in her poor, beleaguered arches and toes. “I don’t know why you’re pushing this so hard.”
“I don’t know why you’re resisting telling me.” He crossed his arms over his chest again. “It’s immature, frankly.”
Later, if asked, she would swear this was the moment she had a little aneurysm burst in her brain.
It was the only explanation she had for the red haze that descended over her as his words pricked her brain.
It was the aneurysm that made her plant both her hands on his shoulders and shove him back with all her strength.
The fact that he barely budged only fueled her rage.
“Let me get this fucking straight,” she began in a voice so soaked in fury it barely sounded like her own. “Over the past couple of days I’ve been blackmailed, kidnapped, and strong-armed into an arranged marriage against my will, not to mention the forced makeover montage.”
He frowned. “I think it’s actually more of a marriage of convenience.”
“And now you’re mansplaining arranged marriage to me while calling me immature!” she screeched.
“Look—”
She poked him in the chest with her index finger. “No, you look. I’m not immature because I don’t want to tell you every little thought that’s going through my mind. I’m entitled to my secrets, you asshole.”
His brows lowered along with his voice as he said, “I’m an asshole?
For what? Saving you from the Russians? Letting you kidnap me instead of hurting you?
Buying you nice clothes and a beautiful ring?
Giving your cursing bird an aviary? Trying to talk to my fiancée?
Tell me, fiorellino. How am I the asshole in this situation? ”
Being reminded of all the nice things he’d done for her should’ve calmed her down. It didn’t.
She shoved him again as she shouted, “You’re an asshole for making me admit that seeing you beat the fuck out of that guy turned me on!”
He reared back as if she’d slapped him. “You were—”
“Yes, OK? Yes. I was turned on. Wildly turned on. I considered throwing my panties away because they were so wet. I watched you beat a man like he was the asshole who killed John Wick’s dog and as it was happening, I was fantasizing about you fucking me right there on the hood of the SUV while the dude bled on the ground in front of us, OK?
I should have been terrified by the violence, and instead, I wanted to see more violence.
That can’t possibly say anything good about my character, and now I’m 100% certain that when I die, I’m going to hell.
” She shrugged in a desperate what-the-hell gesture before adding, “Is that what you wanted to hear?”
She tried to shove him again, but he grabbed her wrist and yanked her up against his chest. “You want me?”
“Yes! I wanted you the moment I saw you, and somehow, now, I want you even more. I don’t care that you’ve killed people, I don’t care that you’re a career criminal, I don’t care about any of the bad stuff you’ve done that I should care about.
Because, you know what? Turns out I’m not such a great person myself.
That’s my secret, OK? I should be horrified by my circumstances—a good person, a normal person would be—and I’m not because I’m too turned on by you and excited by you.
You think you’re a villain? Well, guess what, sweetheart?
I’m a villain, too. You said one day I’d beg you to fuck me, and here I am, begging you to fuck me. Are you finally happy?”
She’d quickly learned that Nico’s reactions were rarely what she expected.
And even as she prepared for any and all possible scenarios, she was somehow still surprised when he bent at the waist and neatly upended her over his shoulder.
She let out a shocked yelp when he slapped her butt and said, “Not yet. But I will be.”
And with that, he stalked up the stairs, shocking her further by taking two steps at a time.
Toward his bedroom.
Something told her she’d be happy, too. If she survived the night, that is.