Chapter Fourteen
ELENA
Guilt. It’s becoming a constant knot in my chest. Seven years ago, I made what I thought was the right choice.
Protect my babies. Keep them away from family politics.
Shield them from becoming pawns or targets.
But watching Luca with the children, I know I've robbed them all of something precious.
And yet, I can’t not believe that if I’d told Luca, if he’d come home, that he’d be dead and maybe I and the kids would be too.
Aldo’s hatred for his brother and Antonio Monti was all-consuming.
He was prepared to burn everything related to them down, including me and the kids.
The fact that Luca hasn’t called or dropped by indicates he’s chosen to continue to dig up the past to clear his name.
I can’t blame him, but I can’t see how this will end well.
Not as long as there are those loyal to Uncle Aldo who will finish off his plans if given the opportunity. And if they discover who fathered my children…
I shudder, not wanting to think about my children becoming another casualty of a family war. I have to bear the guilt even as it grows heavier. Even when every moment with Luca makes the lie more impossible to maintain.
I’m glad when I get the call from Gabriella after I drop the kids off at school to meet her and Isabella for lunch.
It's a welcome distraction to think about something other than my world being on the verge of imploding.
I arrive just before lunch with Gabriella handing me a glass of wine. “Relax and enjoy.”
“I hope there’s more of this.” It will take a tanker of wine to help me relax.
She laughs. “Of course. Sabina is with the nanny and Isabella said Leo is with Roman today, so when she gets here, it will just be us ladies.”
I love being a mom, but I have to admit, sometimes, it’s nice to simply relax and enjoy friendship.
When Isabella arrives, we go to the sunroom where lunch is set up. Despite the bitter cold, the day is sunny with a bright blue sky.
“I wonder if it will snow,” I say absently, looking out the window.
“Not today, but I imagine the kids would love it,” Gabriella answers.
“Angelica would,” Isabella agrees.
We all take a seat, and Gabriella’s staff serves a first course of soup along with more wine.
“I think I’m becoming one of those day drinking moms.” Gabriella laughs as she holds up her glass. "To surviving the holidays.”
I clink my glass against hers and then Isabella’s. "To survival."
Quickly, the conversation moves to presents and Santa and all the normal things mothers discuss at Christmas.
But this year, my Christmas is far from normal.
“How are things with your father?” Isabella asks Gabriella. “Today’s the day, right? Roman said Marco and the other Dons will be there too.”
“This is one of those times I hate patriarchy. It makes you wonder what goes on behind closed doors.” Gabriella has always had more access to the male led parts of the family business, but not full access.
“Like what?” Isabella takes a bite of soup.
“I don’t know. Strippers?”
Isabella snorts. “Don’t make me think of my father watching a stripper.”
“Anyway, I think my father is okay.” Gabriella swirls her wine in her glass.
“Not that it’s easy, but he knows it’s time.
I think a part of him is relieved. I’m hoping it will reduce his stress and perhaps slow down his deterioration.
Some days, he doesn't recognize Sabina. Yesterday, he called me by my mother's name. I’d like him to enjoy life for as long as he can.”
I give her a sympathetic smile. “That would be wonderful. Don Monti was always nice to my family. My father admired him a great deal. He’d be glad to see him enjoying his last years.”
Gabriella takes my hand. “Thank you for saying that.”
“And Luca? Is he ready?” Isabella asks.
I take a large sip of wine, hoping to hide any reaction I have at the mention of Luca.
"Luca is ready.” Gabriella’s voice has no doubt. “And with Luca officially Don now, he can finally step out from under that cloud that's been hanging over him."
My fingers tighten around the stem of my wine glass. "Cloud?"
"You know." She waves dismissively. "All that nonsense about his being involved in your father’s arrest. It was ridiculous. He was barely more than a kid then.” Her sharp eyes watch me as if she’s waiting to see if I’ll contradict her.
“He’ll get to the bottom of who took your father away, I know it. ”
I can’t imagine that Marco doesn’t have the same concerns that Dom has. Why bring up something from the past that risks putting a strain in La Corona? "What does Marco think about Luca looking deeper into what happened back then?"
“He thinks it's unnecessary. The past is the past. La Corona needs unity now, not old wounds reopened. Easy for him to say, though. When Isabella accused him of being involved in her mother’s death and I was sure he was undermining my father, Marco wanted to clear his name as much as Luca does now.”
“I hope it doesn’t backfire on him.” I try to speak casually, although I know I’m about to open a hornet’s nest.
“What do you mean?” Gabriella’s brow furrows.
“With all the problems La Corona has been having, someone might think Luca is a part of that.”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake, that’s ridiculous.” Gabriella waves my comment away, as I knew she would. I shouldn’t have said it. “Wait, does Dom think Luca is undermining La Corona?”
“I’m just saying, now isn’t a good time for there to be problems.”
Isabella looks confused. “Has something else happened? I know Roman is always on edge waiting for a shoe to drop, but he says things have been quiet this year.”
I shake my head. “I’m not aware of anything.
I’m just pointing out that with all that’s gone on in the past, now might not be a good time for Luca to be bringing up old grievances.
You said yourself, Roman is waiting for something to happen.
Luca’s investigation could be an opening for whoever is behind trying to sabotage La Corona. ”
Gabriella looks at me like she doesn’t know me. "You really don't understand, do you?"
"Understand what?"
“This isn't just about politics or position.
It's about honor. My brother spent seven years in exile because of a lie.
A lie that some people still believe. Anyone falsely accused would want their name cleared," Gabriella continues.
"But for Luca, it's more personal. He believes someone deliberately set him up to take the fall. "
"Who would do that?" I ask, though I already know the answer.
"That's what he's trying to find out." Gabriella's eyes narrow slightly. "I’m surprised you don’t want answers. Your father paid a heavier price than Luca.”
I look down for a moment, worried I’m about to alienate Gabriella. “I’d like answers, but what happens if Luca finds out who set him up? What then? Revenge? More violence? Another war between families?"
Isabella exchanges a surprised glance with Gabriella.
“I have three children to think about. I don’t want anyone looking at them as possible pawns in this game.”
Gabriella sets down her glass, eyes narrowing. "Elena, do you know something? About what happened to your father or who set up Luca?"
"No," I say. It’s not a lie. I know Dom’s theory, but that’s all it is. "I don't know anything. But I do know that digging into the past puts a target on everyone connected to it. Including my children."
Gabriella shakes her head. "Your children weren't even born when all this happened! How could they possibly be targets?"
"Because men in this life don't forget," I say, my voice pitching up. "They don't forgive. Look at Luca. Seven years later and he's still obsessed with vengeance. What happens when someone else feels the same about him?"
The silence that follows feels charged with negativity. I hate that I’m risking my friendships, but my kids come first.
Gabriella's expression hardens. "My brother would never put children at risk. How dare you suggest otherwise?"
"I'm not suggesting—"
"Yes, you are." Her eyes flash with anger. "You've always had an attitude about Luca. Ever since he came back from Italy, you've gone out of your way to badmouth him. You avoid him. You wouldn't even come to his welcome home dinner."
I swallow hard, trying to maintain my composure. "That's not true."
"It is true!” She glances at Isabella as if seeking confirmation. “Every family gathering, every celebration, if Luca's there, suddenly, you have an excuse. The kids are sick, you have work, there's a school thing." She counts off on her fingers. "And if you do come, you hide in a corner."
My cheeks burn with shame because she's right. I've spent years orchestrating elaborate dances around Luca's presence, terrified that one prolonged exposure would reveal everything.
"I don't dislike Luca.”
“Yeah, right.” Gabriella scoffs. "You act like he's radioactive. What did my brother ever do to make you hate him so much?"
The irony of her question nearly breaks me.
What did he do?
He loved me.
He gave me three beautiful children.
He came back when I thought he never would.
And now, he might destroy everything I've built to protect them.
“Did you and Luca have a falling out?” Isabella’s voice is soft, steady, as if she’s trying to bring the tension down.
Gabriella looks from her to me. “When would you have had a falling out? You’ve never given him the time of day.”
I’d like to contradict her, but in doing so, I could share information that would accidentally reveal the father of my children.
“If someone came after who killed my father, me and my children could become targets. But not just me. Have you considered what could happen to Luca? If he was a target the first time, then he still is and so far, they’ve left him alone.
If he starts poking around, they’ll have no choice but to try and silence him. ”
“Luca knows what he’s doing.” Gabriella's indignation wanes, but I see concern in her expression. “He can protect himself.”
"Like my father could?" I counter. "He was a captain with decades of experience, and they got to him anyway."
This discussion reminds me of why I made the decisions I did.
Recently, I’ve second-guessed myself.
What would have happened if I'd told Luca about the pregnancy seven years ago?
Would he have returned?
Would he have been killed for betraying the Vitale family?
It wasn’t just my children I protected. It was Luca himself. By letting him go, by letting him believe I'd blamed him and moved on, I removed him from immediate danger.
"Ladies, perhaps we should remember it's Christmas," Isabella says, looking from me to Gabriella.
"You're right." I exhale slowly, collecting myself. "I'm sorry, Gabriella. I didn't mean to imply that Luca would ever hurt children. That's not what I meant at all."
Gabriella's posture remains stiff, but some of the fire leaves her eyes. "Then what did you mean?"
"I meant that others might use his investigation as an opportunity. We've all seen how these things escalate. People manipulate situations for their own gain. They create collateral damage without caring who gets caught in the crossfire."
Isabella nods. "Like what happened with my mother. Someone used her death to turn me against the Calabresis for years." Isabella looks knowingly at Gabriella. “They made you think Marco was trying to take your father’s territory.”
She lets out a sigh. “Maybe I’m being defensive of Luca.”
“And I’m being dramatic.” I force a laugh. "We should be talking about the winter festival instead."
Gabriella hesitates, clearly noticing my abrupt change of subject, but Isabella smoothly picks up the thread.
“I think it might be Roman’s favorite time of year.”
Gabriella takes a long drink of her wine. “This will be the first holiday season Marco isn’t a Scrooge.”
We laugh, all remembering how Marco disliked Christmas.
“It’s Sabina’s first Christmas,” I say. “Is he buying her the moon and stars?”
Gabriella’s smile is finally genuine. “He’s trying.”
It takes another few minutes, but finally, we’re back to our old selves discussing ice skating and whether the carousel is worth the long line.
But my mind races looking for a way out or solutions to my mess.
If Luca discovers the truth… if Dom finds out I've been sleeping with Luca… if someone connects the dots about the triplets… Or maybe I need to accept that the question isn’t if, but when?
When Luca learns the truth… when Dom finds out I’ve been with Luca…
I have no answers.