Chapter Forty-Nine
The following morning, I was up with the sparrows. Bess needed walking before the temperature soared.
We enjoyed an hour’s stroll along the village’s meandering lanes. Together we took footpaths across fields of grazing sheep, then picked up a trail that led to the woods. I’d now walked here many times with Dylan and Charlie. The café had yet to open and the woodland trail at this hour was somewhat lonely.
Retracing my steps, I skirted the tree-lined paths and instead walked through the neighbouring village of Vigo, before heading back to Little Waterlow.
Once home, Bess flopped into her basket and snoozed while I caught up with paperwork and admin. I then had a quick shower and slipped into a cotton dress. I was taking the parents out shortly.
‘Be a good girl for Mummy,’ I said to Bess. ‘I’ll be back after lunch.’
Blowing her a kiss, and feeling faintly ridiculous for doing so, I let myself out of the house. Since becoming a dog owner, I now understood that a hound was much more than a hairy beast. Bess was a family member. Another daughter – albeit in black-and-tan form.
Humming to myself, I hopped in the car. Within minutes Little Waterlow was behind me, and I’d joined the M20.
I wondered – if Greg were still alive – how he’d feel about Bess. Would he love her, like I did? But then again, if Greg hadn’t died, I wouldn’t have adopted a dog. I knew he would have been unimpressed with the lawn. Thanks to the garden being my girl’s loo, the grass sported several brown rings. I had no idea why a dog’s wee caused such damage. A part of me was glad Bess couldn’t cock a leg. I’d take a shrivelled lawn over dead shrubs.
Morning, Mags, said Greg in my head.
‘I was just thinking about you,’ I said aloud.
I know. And, yes, I have noticed the marks on the lawn.
‘Ah, sorry.’ I pulled a face. ‘In the beginning, I used to rush about with a watering can, sprinkling where Bess had been. However, I can’t police every wee my girl has.’
Don’t worry about it. I think she’s a lovely dog.
‘She is, isn’t she!’ I beamed.
A driver overtook me. As he passed, he glanced my way, then gave me a strange look. One that said I was possibly a bit bonkers.
‘What?’ I said, as the driver accelerated past. ‘Haven’t you ever seen a woman talking to herself before?’
It’s okay to talk to yourself, said Greg. He then chuckled. It’s when you ask yourself to repeat something that you have a problem.
‘Ha!’ I laughed. ‘Very good.’
For a moment neither of us spoke. Ahead, a lorry pulled into the middle lane. The vehicle was struggling to overtake a car-transporter. I signalled and manoeuvred into the fast lane, swiftly overtaking both vehicles, before returning to a clear inside lane.
‘You still there?’ I said aloud.
I’m here, said Greg.
‘When are you going to send me that sign? I’ve now asked you several times. Have you forgotten our pact? Whoever died first was meant to send the other a red balloon.’
I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.
I rolled my eyes.
‘Doing what exactly? Chatting up a few angels?’
Funny! I haven’t yet seen anyone here wearing halos.
‘Hmm,’ I mused. ‘Do people – or souls – hook up over there?’
Are you worried that I’m going to go off with someone else, Greg teased.
‘Well, now that you’ve mentioned it…’
I frowned. That was a point. What happened in the afterlife – assuming there was one and I wasn’t a candidate for a straitjacket? Did husbands and wives still hang out with each other?
I’d taken it for granted that Greg and I would one day be together again. But what if my fledging relationship with Dylan turned into the real deal? What happened when our time was up? Would I arrive at the Pearly Gates to find two men slugging it out on who would spend Eternity with me? And what about Jennifer? Would Dylan’s deceased wife roll up too?
My thoughts turned to Dylan. I was keen on the guy. In the middle of a full-blown crush. But love? Did I love Dylan? I had a sneaking feeling I was falling in love. I’d tried not to think too much about it. After all those years of being married to Greg … of raising a family with him… to think of a future with another man was huge.
As yet, Dylan and I had skirted around the love word. I knew he was keen on me. Last night’s phone conversation had confirmed that. And there was a huge anticipation about Saturday night. Not because we would be sleeping together for the first time, but also – in my book – the act was a physical demonstration of having deep feelings for someone.
Or was I, perhaps, terribly na?ve? Maybe most women of my age were happy to simply bed hop and have one-night stands. I sighed. The truth was, I didn’t know. Why were relationships so complicated?
Wow, that’s an awful lot of thoughts going through your mind, said Greg.
‘Stop eavesdropping,’ I said mildly.
I wasn’t. To answer one of those thoughts, yes, one day we will see each other again. And that is because of love. To keep things simple, you always see whoever you love. So, if you fall in love with Dylan, you will see him too. As regards to relationships… well, it’s different here, Mags. When you get here, you’ll understand. For now, get on with living your life.
‘Okay,’ I nodded. ‘And what about my red balloon?’
I’m working on it.
‘Really?’ My heart gladdened and for a moment I felt giddy with happiness. ‘I shall keep my eyes peeled.’
Stop looking, said Greg. It’s only then that you will see it.
And telling myself that, for now, I’d have to be satisfied with that answer, I toggled the left indicator. The car shot up the slip road and left the motorway.