Chapter 32
Keri
I scratch my jaw in frustration as I toss aside another useless book. All the wisdom of the past at my hands and I still cannot find something to give me solid direction... just a lot of guesswork, and vague references. And I’m still no closer to discovering what can be used for the core ingredient.
“Useless,” I mutter.
“You are not useless, just delaying the inevitable,” Gryn offers as he digs through a basket of fruit that Adiele dropped off for him earlier—the male is always eating.
“I didn’t say that I am useless, but thanks.” I sigh and rotate my stiff neck, cracking it. “And what do you mean by delaying the inevitable?”
He shrugs nonchalantly for all but a moment before a broad smile breaks out across his face and crows as he snatches up plum from the depths of the basket and holds it up triumphantly. I give the fruit a bland look though my lips twitch as he eagerly proceeds to bite into it. So greedy.
“What I mean,” he says between bites, “is that you know what you need to do. Even if you were both Aquana, you would not be able to do this magic without a talaxi pearl.” He leans forward, his eyes brightening. “You know what it is right?”
I shake my head and his grin widens as he leans in even closer.
“It is the seed of the sea,” he whispers. “It is like this fruit. The seed—the pearl—starts carried in the flesh but eventually the flesh falls away.” His claws dig deep into what is left of the fruit, the juice splattering over his hand and dripping onto the floor—which he is most definitely going to clean up. His fingers sharply twist, spilling more juice, and slowly emerge, drawing the dark pit from the golden inner flesh of the plum. “This pearl is carried along the currents to a talaxi bed, a fertile ground of magic where currents meet. It is there that it continues to slowly grow as a vessel of the sea’s primal magic.” He tosses the pit into a bowl in front of him and smirks. “Some eat them, especially among the beasts, but others know their true value lies in the magic that can be harnessed from them.”
Okay, that seems pretty straight forward.
“That doesn’t sound too bad. I was expecting something a little more sinister from Ro’s reaction after he went on and on about how it’s too dangerous.” I laugh softly to myself as I pick up another book.
“Oh, that—that would be because varkoth.”
My gaze snaps back up to him. “Beg pardon?”
He grimaces slightly. “I did say that there are beasts who like to eat them, right? Well, the varkoth is a particularly unpleasant creature that not only likes to eat them but jealously defends its territory around the talaxi beds.” He looks over at me and probably sees the heavy doubt on my face as I’m rethinking things, because nasty underwater predators are definitely not a fun time, because he brightens and gives me a reassuring smile. “But do not worry. I have seen my mother and grandmother get by them many times. We could slip in and out without a problem.”
And there go the brakes.
“Wait... we?”
He fidgets with a strained expression. “That would be the other reason Ro objects, I imagine. If it was just him risking his fins, he would do it, but he... cannot,” he finishes lamely.
I shake my head in confusion. “I don’t get it.”
Gryn huffs softly and stuffs the remaining bit of plum into his mouth. “Males cannot access the talaxi beds. The sea is the mother of all things, and all currents are hers and are filled with her primal essence. A male trying to access the sacred beds would be impossible. The magic there would cause us significant agony—and likely kill him by attaching to and corroding his lure. So, to get it...”
“I would have to go,” I finish.
“Unless you can find a female willing to get it for you,” Gryn replies with an apologetic smile. “This is the only thing that I know of which will have the level of potency that you are looking for.”
“And as it continues developing in the seabed, it will also have an element of earth contained within it,” I add with a weary sigh. I give him a grim look. “Ro isn’t going to agree to this.”
“Agree to what?” Ro’s voice fills the living room as he steps into the apartment, my much-coveted cup of coffee in his hands.
I bite my lip, considering how I should proceed. “I was thinking—with how unsuccessful we have been. What if we didn’t manage to find a supplement? If we just give up, will you be able to make a life here? I mean a real life and not just suffer like The Little Mermaid—the Hans Christian Anderson one,” I clarify quickly. “
Though he is still smiling, Ro gives me a puzzled look as he walks across the room, clearly not understanding the reference to the mermaid who felt pain with every step she took. Not that he experiences pain while walking, but I’ve noticed the toll that his extended stay on land is taking on him. Without the supplement he has started to lose weight and signs of exhaustion can be seen as he tries to live a full life on land during the day despite having to return to the sea every night. Yet the agonies of the supplement seem like a terrible price to pay for him to adequately rest and have a life here. It would be selfish to expect that much of him if we fail.
“Will you magically be able to live on land without having any pain or suffering any ill affect?” I clarify further. “I just can’t imagine you living every day like a human away from the sea without suffering in some small way.”
His smile falters and fades away. “No,” he admits and hands me my coffee as he takes a seat beside me on the couch. He glances at Gryn as if debating sending the young male from the room while “the adults talk” but eventually sighs and proceeds to explain to both of us. “Aquana magic does not work like that. It would be convenient if I could just sleep the hours that I must be in the sea. If that was possible, I could make an appropriate nest nearby. But when we return to the sea, it is like everything that happened during the day was a dream. There is no need to rest, only a drive to eat like someone who feels like they are starving, and yet when we go on land, we feel the strain of insufficient rest after a while. Normally a male would make a home on the water and have an underwater sleeping area that they can use for part of the day where they would either sleep with their mates or alone while their mate is above the water. The supplement tricks the body so that I was able to rest sufficiently at night in a landwalker form.”
I frown a little at that because we have never really discussed the dynamics of inter-species mating among Aquanas. I admit that part of me just didn’t want to dig too deeply into that particular conversation. “How can their mate sleep in the water with them?”
“It is the nature of the magic,” he explains. “I can come on land when the sun shines all except for the full moon, and I can bring you into the sea with me for a day with the kiss of breath like you experienced in the pool, though it was for a much shorter time.” He gives me a flirtatious smile that I flat out ignore. I’m not getting distracted from this conversation. He sighs at my unyielding expression and continues. “The other option is what females usually choose among Aquanas and is one which around much of your lore is based. Upon mating that same kiss during mating can make it possible for the human to join us in the water for the rest of our lives.”
Gryn makes a face. “None of those options sound great.”
Ro glances over at him and nods. “That is why discovering the supplement seemed like a gift from the gods. I cannot counter the pull of the sea on my magic and its natural rhythms on my body, but the supplement would allow me to have a real life with my mate in a way that won’t isolate her or make her life difficult. More importantly, I don’t want to be separated from her for any longer than one day and one night in a month. I want all of the rest of my days with her.” He looks at me as he quietly says that. He has made no claim about how he sees our relationship, but regardless of whether he sees me as his mate or not, it is clear that he is speaking of me.
“So, what if we cannot find a solution to the core ingredient—what do we do then?” I hate to ask and don’t want to ask, but I need to know where his intention rests. Will he suggest that we go after the talaxi pearl? My breath catches as I wait for his response.
His jaw clenches, and he bows his head as he considers it. “I have been thinking of this,” he admits. His gaze lifts to meet mine. “As it seems that we are no closer to finding an alternative, I will find a way to get the supplement again. It is better than living a half-life caught between the land and sea.”
I gape at him in horror. He knows how bad the supplement is and was determined to never take it again because of its side effects. “Ro, if you do that you will suffer. You know that. Outside of the unknown side effects that can accumulate over time that may affect your magical essence, you know that every month you use it, you will be in pain when you’re forced back to the sea again with consistent use. This is why most of the aquatic species only use it sparingly. You would have to use it daily for what you’re saying, and I really think that the side effects will only get worse the longer that you take it. For all anyone knows, it could weaken you over time or shorten your lifespan if you use it daily!”
His eyes harden stubbornly. “It is my decision and a sacrifice I am willing to make.”
My bottom lip trembles, disappointed that he won’t even consider getting the pearl. He would rather put himself in danger. I want to scream and vent my frustration, but I nod. As much as I want to protect him from himself, I won’t disrespect his decision as if he was a child. It’s just even more important now that I create something better, regardless of the cost. If I spend every waking moment after sundown and at the library glued to books and working on new concoctions in my kitchen, so be it.
I want more dates along the boardwalk. More Ro. More of everything I’ve yet to experience with him. Which means I have no choice—I will have to get the talaxi pearl. My eyes lift to meet Gryn’s knowing gaze. I will get it even if it means going behind Ro’s back to do so.