Chapter 23
Tristan
He sat in the window seat and overlooked the quiet street in front of Ivy House.
The moon shone down, highlighting Niamh on her front porch, rocking.
He couldn’t tell what she was looking at, if anything, but she seemed in repose.
Thinking, probably. She liked to sit and just think. Her mind must’ve been a busy place.
In another moment, Fred wandered out of Niamh’s front door. Her laptop was open, illuminating her face.
Ah. A late-night work session, equal parts Fred revealing what she’d learned in the cyberworld and Niamh thinking it through.
While everyone else had been busy with the conclave and fighting, both mock battles and real, she’d been working on their mage problem.
She’d been trying to figure out who was helping from within.
Hopefully, she’d soon have some leads. With the conclave winding down and deemed a success by everyone with a vested interest, their attention would quickly turn that way.
He felt her immediately, her luscious energy pulling at his focus. It called to him in a way nothing else, real or imagined, ever had. Lovely Natasha.
His heart quickened as he glanced at the door of his room, wondering if she was passing by on her way down to the kitchen—a midnight snack, perhaps.
But no, the suction of her presence pulled at him from a different location. His…closet?
Understanding dawned. The door into the secret passages. His breath hitched. Was she finally coming around, unable to resist his pull?
Even if she were just here to spy—usually something only Jessie could do, but Ivy House would probably make it happen for Nessa—it was a good sign. It meant she was thinking about him, up late in the dark and quiet house.
A click reverberated in the stillness of the room, followed by the soft swish of a door announcing a visitor. A presence entered, shrouded in glowing orbs of brilliant light, an ethereal being plucked right from his sweetest dreams.
Natasha stepped forward hesitantly, longing in her expression and worry in her eyes.
“Ivy House let me in,” she said quietly, barely disturbing the silence. “I…” She paused for a moment. “I wanted to speak with you.”
Drinking in her beauty, savoring this magnificent sight in case she was about to utter the devastating news of her rejection, he stood silently. He picked up the one chair in the room and placed it to face the window seat. He stood to the side, allowing her to choose her location.
Her energy danced all around her, so vibrant and bright. It had been since she’d helped the Elder. She’d somehow gained a little power, although she hadn’t mentioned it. She probably didn’t realize it herself.
She hesitantly stepped around the chair and sank down onto the window seat. He took the chair and waited patiently, not trusting himself to speak. Not knowing what might come out if he opened his mouth.
She folded her hands into her lap primly.
“I wanted to tell you something,” she said. She swallowed, gathering her nerve. “I worry it might make you think differently of me.”
He didn’t move. His eyes roamed her gorgeous face. There was nothing on this earth or beyond that would ever make him think differently of her.
“When I was young…” She took a deep breath and then launched into the story of her youth—the same events she’d told him in the bar in Evan’s cairn.
About being locked in the closet and spending her babysitting money to get Jala, Sebastian’s sister, to the hospital after their uncle had beat Jala within an inch of her life.
About the abuse at home from drug-addled parents, something she hadn’t mentioned in the bar, and finally about killing Sebastian and Jala’s uncle.
When she was done, she fell silent, letting the tears roll down her face. She watched him warily, as though waiting for a judge to decide a verdict.
He thought about not telling her that he knew most of this, but he didn’t want to lie to her, even by omission. He never wanted to lie to her. She was someone he wanted to trust with his secrets—with his life.
“I know,” he said into the heavy silence. “You told me that in Evan’s cairn.”
“What?” she said, aghast.
“You remember what I said about embracing your shadows and about making the hard decisions and choosing to be a hero?”
Her body started to tremble. More tears made tracks down her cheeks. She didn’t respond.
“It was because of that story, Natasha. You were a child when all that happened, and you exhibited more bravery than most adults. You chose to be a hero that day—to protect your family. You choose to be a hero each and every day you roll up your sleeves and keep going. I’m proud of you, little deathwatch angel.
I’d tell you to put on a cape, like a hero should, but half the territory would assume you were making fun of them. ”
Her knuckles turned white as she squeezed her hands together. “Why didn’t you tell me? Or did you assume I remembered?”
“You were embarrassed about your behavior. I didn’t want to possibly embarrass you further if you’d rather not have told me. But there is something I told you that you didn’t remember, either. Something I didn’t have the guts to tell you again.” It was his turn to take a deep breath. “I—”
“No.” She held out her hand to stop him. “No, Tristan. I don’t want to do a secret for a secret. You never need to tell me about your past if it might get you in trouble one day. I trust you now.”
His chest filled with warmth. He had no idea how much he’d longed to hear that. How important it was.
“Thank you,” he said sincerely, “but that’s not it. I will tell you my past, but it’ll require whiskey and privacy. I don’t need a house listening in just yet. No…” He clenched his jaw for a moment, worried to take this leap. To officially put himself out there. “Natasha, I love you.”
The world almost seemed to stand still. Silence filled all the gaps. Now he was the one waiting for the verdict. The possible rejection, the reinforced distance. He could never unsay his feelings now. He could only get over them, and with her, he knew he never would.
More tears overflowed as her eyes pleaded with his. “Are you sure?”
He barked out an unexpected laugh, shattering the silence. “Yes, Natasha, I’m sure. I’ve been in love with you for a while now. Longer than I myself knew. All I had to do was get out of my own way to realize it, and then it hit me hard. Harder than anything ever has.”
“But I keep pushing you away.”
“I told you I would wait. And I will. You’re worth it.
I allowed you your distance lately because you needed it.
It killed me, darling. I hate having space between us.
I missed talking to you, playing our games.
I missed your searing touch and your soft smiles.
But you can’t rush perfection, and so I didn’t try. ”
More tears, laughter turning to sobs. She hugged herself. “I’m not worth it. I—”
“You’ve told me your darkness. I’ve witnessed it. What does it say about me that I don’t find it very dark at all? You get things done. How doesn’t matter.”
She wiped wetness from her cheeks, shaking her head, and took a shuddering breath, looking off to the side for a moment.
When she looked back, her energy flurried around her before forming a bridge between them.
“I love you. I realized it earlier today, but it has been building all this time. I ignored the feelings because of fear, but when you went missing from my life…I couldn’t stand it.
I worried…” She shrugged. “I just worried. All I seem to do is worry.”
He pushed up from the chair to kneel in front of her.
“I don’t want to share you, Natasha. Flirt, tease, touch an arm while stealing a wallet, whatever.
I don’t care about that stuff. It is meaningless.
Save me your intimacy. Give me all your kisses and the soft moans you make when I worship you.
Trust me with your secrets. Let me guard your back.
Be mine, little deathwatch angel. Only mine. ”
She grabbed his hair and painfully dragged him toward her.
He growled as he claimed her lips, sweet and decadent, like her.
Like his favorite thing. He opened her mouth and swiped his tongue through.
He took the hem of her shirt and dragged it over her head.
He palmed a bare breast with one hand and slipped the other into the waist of her pajama bottoms. She wasn’t wearing any underwear.
He groaned, running his fingers along her wetness. She practically purred into his mouth as she spread her legs and leaned back to give him more access.
“Make love to me, Tristan,” she murmured against his lips. “Claim me. I’m yours.”
He pushed to standing, dragging her with him, kicking the chair as he swung her around.
In front of his bed, he pushed down her pajama bottoms before quickly shedding his clothes.
They could do foreplay on the second go-round.
Right now, he wanted their love to sear their halves into one whole, one body, one heart, beating for each other.
He pushed her down against the mattress and filled her in a rush.
She moaned against his lips. The feeling of her, her smell, her touch, filled his whole world. The walls could fall down around them, and he still wouldn’t hurry this moment.
“I’ve only said I love you twice in my life,” he told her, moving slowly, savoring her arms and legs wrapped around him. “To you, Natasha. Only to you. I can’t believe karma has graced me with you. What have I done to deserve this slice of heaven?”
“Ignore all the red flags, that’s what you’ve done.
” Her lips curved upward against his. “I’ve never let myself love like this.
Ever. I never thought I would. I love platonically—people like Sabby and Jessie.
But you… I love you in a way that makes my heart ache to look at you, Tristan.
That makes it swell when I hear your voice deliver each delicious little threat. ”
He chuckled, starting to move faster. “My threats will be a lot more colorful now, I think.”
“Then I hope you make good on them.”
“Oh, I intend to.”
Their kiss stole his breath, full of love and longing and hope.
“I want a future, Natasha.” He held her tightly. He plunged into her deeply. “I want you to be my future.”
Her eyes overflowed. “Okay.”
It was just one word.
It was everything.
His hips thrust rhythmically. Hers tilted in time, creating a delicious, wet slide. The bed thumped as he strove, their lips locked together in a passionate dance, their bodies synced erotically.
“Come with me,” he demanded. “Forever, Natasha. Come with me forever.”
She cried out, “Yes,” and he knew it was both the climaxing pleasure…and his answer. The wait was over. She was finally his. His mate. His everything. His promise of redemption.